Winter is coming….(And by Winter I mean the 2013 Stolen Valor Tournament.)
OK, that time of the year again. Tourney to actually start probably next week with an unveiling of who made the big dance.
WHAT I NEED:
Need 5 more people for my seeding committee. If interested, email admin@valorguardians.com Must be able to devote about 5 hours to sorting through these peeps, and have a working knowledge of Excel. We’re going to have 10 members of the seeding committee, and it will be just straight mathematics on who ends up where. Lowest across the 10 seeds gets the #1 slot and so on.
READY TO NOMINATE?
Jonn has been listing them as them come through, but some of these appear to be repeats, and we’ve probably missed guys from other (non-TAH) links. So, feel free to nominate in the comments below. But for starters, this is Jonn’s list:
John P. Boudreau, the 2200-kills sniper
Robert Misskerg; ate his way through PI, I guess
Jonathan Price; just how blind is love?
Kenneth Crocheron of Draper, Utah; the Ronald MacDonald of Stolen Valor
The stolen valor of Sergeant Major Andrew F. Underwood
Michael Douglas Salsa; phony SEAL
Ryan C. Duff, phony SEAL, pulls gun over a parking spot
Bill Brockbrader; whistle-blowing pedophile phony SEAL
SGM James R. Burch; the records
Phony uses phony creds to threaten CA State senator
Gregory John Schaffer indicted for child pr0n
Alejandro Ramirez; another fake Marine
Tony Tuso; Delta Farce operator
James Edward Ferris; Korean War phony
Jeffery “Casanova” Elvington; phony grifter
Armando H. Diaz; phony SEAL at immigration rally in Austin
Phony soldier grifter in Missouri
Jason Conley; the phony Ranger medic
Admiral Timothy Maynard’s booty
Donice Armstrong; Air Force Amy the hooker phony airman
Bradley Calvert; another pretender busted by his mates
Matt Farmer does Tim Poe imitation (Update)
Michael Joseph Gerold; Phony & Grifter
Jimmy Lee Dykes; the crazed Vietnam vet in Alabama
Phillip Mark Thompson; Army SEAL
Ex-Marine liar trading bombs for coke in Colorado
Elton Perry Hawley; Marine Master Sergeant in 18 months
Eugene Pottinger; phony SEAL/POW
Carmine Annunziata; phony soldier clothing sales store
Patrick Gabbard: Phony SEAL fatboy
Freedom Stansbury; phony at Eglin
John A. Kuykendall; Phony Marine/Ghostbuster
Albert Valentine Bustamante; Marine forger
CSM John Collier; Facebook commando
Terry Lee Farmer; another phony Vietnam Vet
Charles Austin Vanderburg; phony hero
Phony Marine/Cop Skyler Whalen sentenced
Patrick Haab; Anti-immigrant phony
Kenneth L. Godwin; that phony obit
James R. Albertson: Lyin’ from the grave
William James Burley; inmate SEAL
Thomas Bruso; Epic beard man not a Vietnam vet
Robert Anthony Nolan; Zombie phony SEAL rises
Todd Michael Hamilton; another phony heading a vet charity
Jeffrey Rodgers, Lonestar Survival, phony SEAL
Sam Samford; another fake SEAL
Chelle Lynne Anderson-Tesla; female pretender pilot
Anthony Poole; infiltrating TAH
Larry E. Sims; another military career measured in weeks
Gary Sanford Raub; the homeless gnome
William Mourvneen Johnson; Delta Farce guy?
Miles Benjamin Whittington; another phony warrior
Leo J. Maloney; Spooky 8?s inspiration
Gary Six; when good ain’t good enough
Richard E. Straub; Recon Marine
Don Shipley confronts Ike Densmore, phony SEAL
Douglas Arthur Buono; Soup Sandwich the Senior
Christopher Tirao; Rolling Blunder
Andre Vergara; another sullied record
Skip Moschetti; if you’re going to lie, lie big
Roy Antigua; phony…well…everything
Jesus Angel Gomez; phony paintball SEAL
Danny Russell Crane; stolen valor criminal
John Giduck; Stolen Valor bully
Tina Kersten; Weebles wobble and they lie about their service
Wayward Bill Chengelis, chairman of US Marijuana Party & lying phony
NOTE: this is in flux. Deleted the Brit, the repeat and the dead.
Category: Politics
I do not think I could help because I think their all fucking turds.
Your “Game of Thrones” reference reminds me that George R. R. Martin hasn’t finished the next book and I get mad all over again.
I’m putting my money on Kenneth Crocheron.
Punk Lewis could go deep.
No offense… Johnathan Price is British – we have enough American Fakers that he should be excluded from the competition. Unless he was added, because our POTUS doesn’t want us to discriminate…
@5, good point, will update.
John Giduck & William Blake are two ass-clowns that really stand out.
My money is on Monkress.
My two favorites are “Colonel” Crotchrot and the Walmartian SFC!
For the hate factor Billy “Pinhead” Blake is my #1 seed.
Monkress has to be at least a #2 seed by now.
That thin-skinned prima donna douchebag Tetti should be in the tourney, just because he’s a thin-skinned prima donna douchebag.
These tourneys are the best. Everyone on the list is an idiot. I kinda wish they’d all “win”…
Ironically though, they’re all losers…
this year can we send the “winner” a gift? like a book of McDonalds gift certificates? or some other cheap lame gift, like the kind your aunt would give you when you were in your teens and she had no idea what to give you?
“For winning this years Stolen Valor tournament, the staff of TAH would like to present you with this $5 book of gift certificates to McD’s”
Best gift: slightly to heavily used sanitary napkins.
How do we submit a nomination. I have the winning entry,
I submit President Barack “Skippy” Obama for impersonating the Commander in Chief.
Damn, I forgot about Monkeyass. How about sending the winner a jar of kimchi?
How about sending the “winner” the morning after pill to remind them that they should have been aborted.
I say send the winner a used condom to show him/her/it what the father should have used the night his/her/it’s momma rolled Ralph the Alley Bum behind the bus terminal!
…. Along with a cheap card with “YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN A BLOWJOB!” printed on it!
So many fire hydrants. So little time.
Anthony Poole, just for coming on here and being a Poser. He deserves a spot in the Fecal Four…
Mine has to be Kenneth Crocheron of Draper, Utah; the Ronald MacDonald of Stolen Valor. Not only is his getup AFU but he played fast and loose with a poor sick kid in the hospital with the present of a phoney beret! Doesn’t get lower than messing with a sick little kid and his folks.
But if I had to pick a number 2 it would be the fat Marine/SEAL in the photo section of TAH Facebook. We don’t know the his name but with 44 plus ribbons and Trident plus more crap than I can name, he is a strong second. Since we don’t have a name I guess I really can’t nominate him though.
It is kind of like Christmas, there are so many choices under the tree how do you find the biggest and shiniest to open first?
I still stick with Crocheron for all the uniform FUBAR and being the biggest fucking scam, scum sucker.
“Monkeyass”…I. Love.It.
He’s got MY vote because he’s like a gastrointestinal virus….makes you want to spew out of both ends with his garbage.
I just can’t WAIT to see how this plays out with him and Jonn and anyone else involved. I *SO* want it to make felony national news.
Two questions:
(1) Wasn’t Brockbrader in last year’s tourney? And if so, doesn’t that make him ineligible for this year’s tourney absent additional asshattery?
(2) Densmore is no more. Do the tourney rules allow posthumous nominations or only living candidates? We didn’t find out Ballduster had died until well after he took the tourney the year he won.
Sparks: Tubby the Half-Ton Marine was in last year’s tourney. But I’m not sure if his attempt to crash the gate at a Marine Corps Ball in his fake uniform last year was before or after the tourney.
@24 You are giving me pause now that I remember Monkeyass! Especially since he is taking taxpayer money for government contracts based on lies of service history and ethnic origins.
NBC should change the name of their TV show. This is REALLY The BIGGEST LOSER competition!
I think Chelle Lynn Tesla is a dark-horse favorite, because she stirred up such a broad range of crap.
I hold a special place for the snake-oil salesmen who come across as credible and ingratiate themselves into the media, etc, but who really are downright fraudulent. I think they are especially dangerous big-picture wise whereas the “Ronads” of the world wreak havoc through their strength in numbers by the sheer bulk of their asshattery. That’s why I voted for Jake DiLiberto last year, which hopefully assisted in keeping his lies in the UK and out of the media back home.
James Ferris may be the closest thing this time around based on how far he took his lies (with photo ops to prove it), and then it turned out that his mea culpa for lying was in fact another lie! I think Monkress’s doubling down on his lies coupled with the fact that he apparently used his lies to secure millions of dollars in government contracts may make him an early leader for this go-around. Tesla may be the first female to have a shot at the fecal four based on her propensity for dragging the CAP through the mud and back again.
I nominate Shane Ladner. Fake Purple Heart got him no taxes for years and a heroes welcome, banquet, and deer hunt for wounded veterans, until the freight train hit. His lies cost his wife her leg. Nothing says douchebag like your lies being the reason your wife’s leg was amputated.
Mailahn of course is an automatic on here. The list looks pretty good. Monkress is probably going to win this one.
Stand corrected, William Blake might take it this year.
Ah Joe Titty…..
Yeah, that’s got to be Top 5.
Lots of contenders sharing the turd powder….
Seriously, I sent an email your way, admins, offering to help.
I don’t have any real favorites, but monkeyass comes up first in my list of unadulterated PRCs, because he’s defrauding taxpayers, and now he’s panicking.
Crotchrot cometh pretty darn close, and the Walmartian phony, both of them downright creepazoidal personages.
And then Shame Ladner, who is probably still in denial and has rippd off taxpayers — yeah, he’s right up there.
But then James “Big Wheel” Ferris and “Tard” Hamilton have qualities that can’t be denied…. or wanted.
Like I said, so many fire hydrants, so little time.
Stolen Valor Tournament! MY FAVORITE!!
(happy dance)
This tourney has gotten way too big for one simple winner.
I propose that though an overall winner be chosen there should be other categories, like the Oscars.
1. Worst Female
2. Worst Male
3. Fattest Bag of Crap
4. Most Fake Medals
5. Worst scammer ( of VA and Charities)
6. Worst Sock Puppet
@37, I second that!!
I forgot about Crocheron! That guy is going to go far… So many weird things over the years, such as deploying to his camper and calling people while in the middle of a “firefight.” That’s class right there.
#39: It was the antics of “colonel” kendude crotchrot that finally tip the scales and brought me into commenting on TAH phony soldiers. Just for that, crotchrot deserves the number one seed all the way…
@25 Hondo- The Marine Corps Ball was November 10, after the tourney. I’d like to see the Round Marine in the Tourney again because, unless I missed it, he is still unidentified.
I think Sgt Maj Mailman is already way too famous for a Facebook Ranger.
Shane Ladner has the shitbaggery to go deep.
@ Old Dog … I agree.
Here is my top tem list for consideration:
1. Most creative uniform or combination of the same.
2. Ugliest women ribbon (like at a county fair).
3. Worst impersonation of a man (aka smallest penis award).
4. Most outlandish story of combat heroism award (this will be a medal).
5. Body frame and type that could never support a ruck sack award.
6. Birth date, time of service, and war time conflict conflict award.
7. Punch in the Throat (aka PITT manuever) award for the poser who is hardly even trying.
8. KMRIA award for Brits, French, or any other poser from another country.
9. Funeral Director’s award for the poser who is discovered after life.
10. Holy Crap award for any poser that is transgendered, drug addict, thief, illegal alien, felon, liar, drunk, ugly, stupid, etc (must be all to qualify) … you get the point.
@43
11. (you know it’s always best when something goes to 11 🙂 )
“Biggest pussy, douchenozzle whiny, baby award.”
Given to those that take the mist time or personally attack TAH or other SV sites after being outed.
(Or is this a duplicate of # 3??)
(“Teti Titty Award?”)
Kenneth “Colonel Crotchrot” Crocheron!
Yo Green Thumb- Did you want to be on the seeding committee? I have one spot left and someone suggested you would be good. Let me know if interested.
Jeez…SO hard to pick a favorite at this point. There are several that could go deep. can’t wait to see the final list. Will sympathy e-mails be sent to those that didn’t make the cut? Something along the lines of, “Yet another in a long list of personal failures, you are a non-select for the Ballduster McSoul Patch Stolen Valor Tournament.”
I’d volunteer, but I’m gonna be pressed for time real soon. How about an “About to Be Bubba & Thor’s Jailhouse Bitch” category? Monkeyass would be a shoo-in there!
Yeah, I will help out.
I have school next week so the sooner the better.
Just let me know what you want.
Speaking of category titles, how about “8TFU” as we’ll?