Christopher Tirao; Rolling Blunder

Our buddy, Scott, sends us the research he did on Christopher Tirao, who calls himself “Rolling Thunder”, a name given to him by his Indian Great-grandfather. He’s probably the mightiest warrior ever to grace these pages. He says he has over 30 years of military service and he’s done it in every branch of military service (sorry Coast guard, he missed you guys).

Yup, he was in “Nam” three years after the rest of us pussies left. He even stayed in Iraq for nine years while the rest of us were fat and happy at home. Need his narrative of his service?

There you go, aren’t you ashamed of yourselves? Lazy pogues, I’ll bet you all only went to one service. I mean this Billy Badass started out as a pilot and then became a SEAL. Oh, and if you go read the rest, he was a Navy SEAL Aviator, too, a rare breed of man, indeed.

The President (he doesn’t say which one) gave him this $6 hat, too for his service in Desert Storm. I didn’t get a hat, but then, I wasn’t a jet pilot/SEAL/Marine/Special Forces/Ranger, either.

Highly decorated, you ask? You betcha; he got the Silver Cross and the Distinguished Star. What? You never heard of that shit? Well, that’s because you’re all POGs. Here’s a picture of them for you;

As he warned Scotty, his records are classified and no one can find them, cuz, you know, he’s so high speed no one can keep up with his exploits, especially not some high-drag records clerk;

He claims he’s Native American, too, but the Indians are asking “Who?” So he must’ve been a secret Injun, too, and the tribes had to seal his records so white eyes can’t see them.

I don’t know how he found the time, what with fighting all of those secret wars for the country, but apparently he has some prison time, too.

But if you have some time, you should click over to Scotty’s place and read the whole thing, you’ll be sorely ashamed of your own puny service afterwards.

Category: Phony soldiers