First Annual “Jesse MacBeth Stolen Valor Awards” competition nomination thread

| September 23, 2011

CURRENTLY VOTING ON FINAL FOUR, GO TO THIS LINK FOR TODAY’S BALLOT

Here is your field of 32:
Ballduster McSoulpatch
Master Sergeant Soup Sandwich
Rick Duncan
Sealey McChippendales.
Steve Snake Eyes Jordan
Willie Williams
Gunny Lauve
Jeff THE ROCK Harris
Ray Shitbird Sherpansky
De Hieu Tran
Salhem Dreasden/Dan McGrew
Michael Hamilton
Bill Hillar
David Baillie
William “Heavy Drop” Clark
Kyle Barwan
Skylar “E-Bay Recondo” Whalen
Jasper Lake
LTC Warryck-Regan Lee “Bad Lesbian” Wolf
Brigadeer General “PFC” Baxter
Jhon Kerwin “i B deployed foo” Williams
SGM John Letuli
Major Chris “I was there (15 miles away)” Shane
Carl “Awesomest SEAL In History” Doe
Jess “Skip” Hall*
Gen David “Torpedo Tube” Weber
Oliver “Wide Load” Karl
Geoff “PowerPoint” Millard
Matthis “I Oppressed Baskin Robbins at BAF” Chiroux
Ward “Not a Ranger” Reilly
Billy “Guitar strumming hero” Adamson
Cobb Public Safety Director Mickey Lloyd

UPDATE FROM SEEDING COMMITTEE: Remarkably the seeding committee has dropped Millard like a flaming turd, and demanded inclusion of Bob Spooky 8 King. Just a dramatic turn of events here at the Downtown Athletic Club in Sheboygen Falls. Also, Ward Reilly has been bounced for being too easy a target, he is replaced by Michael Chabot, youngest phony Special Forces Sniper of all time.

The Seeding Committee will be meeting this weekend. Said committee consists of:
TSO from This Ain’t Hell. (me)
The Sniper of the self-same titled blog.
Nick Palmasciano of Ranger Up
An Airborne Oboeist to be named later from Blackfive. (Update: Blackfive his self will be on the committee)
We are hoping to fly Mr. Greyhawk in as well, waiting on travel issues.

Contestants will be seeded according to a secret format we have made in conjunction with Stephen Hawking, and will be announced Monday Morning. Said contestants in the Big Dance will be placed in one of four regionals:
Flag Officer Regional
Senior NCO Regional
Special Ops Regional
Seek Help Now Regional

Are you ready for some October Madness?

Category: Phony soldiers, Politics

97 Comments
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Jonn Lilyea

Don’t forget Willie Williams who started it all.

And the hardest Googling work I ever did – General Baxter.

NotSoOldMarine

Oh dude, Jordan all the way. I mean who takes pictures of themselves in their mom’s backyard pretending to be in Iraq?

The Old One

How about Jeff “THE ROCK” Harris…Ranger/Sniper extraordinaire?

Squidthoughts

I nominate Ray “Shitbox Kia” Schepanksy.

NHSparky

Here’s a few more: We could do like a “doucheoff” where only the worst get to the field of 16 or 32 or whatever:

–Salhem Dreasden
–Michael Hamilton
–Bill Hillar
–David Baillie
–William Clark (aka “Heavy Drop”)
–Kyle Barwan
–Skyler Whalen
–Jasper Lake

And the list goes on, and on, and on…

But I’d ask the winner (loser?) gets named on the 10th, sort of the anti-Veteran’s Day.

Doc Bailey

What was the name of that guy with the black coveralls and no cover that claimed to be a SEAL?

UpNorth

I nominate De Hieu Tran,he’s a twofer, phony Marine and phony ICE agent.

TSO

Adding those now, if you guys have links, drop them with the nomination.

NHSparky

Doc,

I think that was Dreasden.

Old Trooper

TSO, I’m working on creating the award right now. I’ll email you a pic of it as soon as I get it done.

UpNorth

TSO, here’s the link for Tran. http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=21097

Frankly Opinionated

We can’t overlook Oliver Derrick, Aussie wacko.
And Sparky, what the hell are you doing? Trying to corner the market? Sheesh!!!!!

John Curmudgeon

This thread is going to get so much traffic google analytics is going to take a shit.

headhuntersix

Ballduster McSoulpatch:

Folks,

This is a perfect example of community organizing at its best. Good job OT!

Trapped_in_PRC

Soulpatch then soup sandwich.

I’d put Jordan up there, but to quote my born and bread Irish parents “He’s not the full shilling”.

Squidthoughts

Oh lord, I forgot about Regan Adams aka Warrick-Regan Blue Wolf or whatever. The one-eyed lesbian potty mouth.

NHSparky

The one-eyed lesbian potty mouth.

ROFLMAO!!! “Arrrrggghhh! There be rug for munchin’ here!”

Squidthoughts

ROFL Sparky!!! We missed talk like a pirate day!

link to the Pirate She-Wolf: http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=23649

The Old One

What was the name of that CSM at Bragg who was sporting an SF tab in the picture taken at the CSM academy?I believe he was a Samoan…

BooRadley

squid, sparky, I’ve got tears in my eyes from laughing! jeez.

John Curmudgeon

Holy shit! Fisheater Wolf almost made me spit out my coffee on the monitor! WTF are these people thinking?!

Squidthoughts

How did we miss Mr. Photoshop, Jhon Kerwin Williams?
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=25800

NHSparky

We missed talk like a pirate day!

Like hell I missed it. My co-workers are still pissed at me.

NHSparky

What was the name of that CSM at Bragg who was sporting an SF tab in the picture taken at the CSM academy?I believe he was a Samoan…

That would be John Letuyi (sp?).

Doc Bailey

Thanks NH.

TSO I think a “PX ranger” tab would be enough.

Although as an idea: a neck band that is the photo negative of the MOH neck strap (you know the opposite color) with a medal thats a cartoon character taking a shit in a paper bag (shitbag get it?) it should be ringed by representations of all the awards that they claim to have. What do you think?

Squidthoughts

#25– Well played, shipmate. But did you change the language on your FB to pirate? :>

melle1228

I’m going to have to go with LTC Warryck-Regan Lee Wolf, not only for staging her own beating-but the bad photoshop job.

NHSparky

No, dammit–I call, “PARLAY!”

Doc Bailey

oh what about that photoshop marine that was an IVAW director, and big into political campaigns

Tom Stedham

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Skip_Hall_(MMA)

wannabe green beret/mma fighter/ police trainer. Complete douche.

CI Roller Dude

Some of these retards had me laughing my ass off. I used to think people like this should just be kicked in the balls (with a proper combat boot) and told to stop it. However, sometimes I over think shit. Maybe you should have different classifications of awards. For “Different wars” for “Most Ribbons and Awards” for “Oddest mix of awards that don’t make any fucking sense.”
I took a class last week with a county jail mental health worker. I told her how as a cop, so many homeless nuts claimed to be war vets etc. And it really pissed me off. She said it was all part of their delusion… so that kind of made sense. So I asked her: “you mean they’re all just fucking retards?”

Yep.

cakmakli

This is great 🙂

LostBoys

How about that asshole David Weber busted in Ramona, Ca. at the turn of the year. A retired SSgt passing himself off as a Marine Major General. My favorite story that he couldn’t talk about was getting shot out of a torpedo tube to rescue an Arab princess.

http://www.marinecorpstimes.com/news/2009/12/ap_marine_faker_charges_123109/

stemm
Frankly Opinionated

TSO:
This is the best link I have right now, but there is also coverage here at TAH.
http://franksopinion.blogspot.com/2011/06/how-crazy-can-person-be.html
Also, consult with Sporkmaster on Derrick, he has more.
Derrick is a loony turd down in the Sidney Australia area.

stemm

nevermind…I see he’s already on the list 🙂

Frankly Opinionated

TSO:
Follow up. Derrick first showed up with the name “Oliver Karl”, but I wrangled his real name.
TAH post is here:
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=23576

Beretverde

Don’t forget the phony SEAL-Silver Star-Purple Heart-winner Mickey Lloyd… Public Safety Director of Cobb County Georgia!
May they ALL burn in hell!

link…
http://www.11alive.com/news/local/story.aspx?storyid=147789&catid=40

Frankly Opinionated

TSO: After a ton of back and forth e-mails, (I quit counting at 50), this douche claims that we were friends from when he met me at Ranger School, (I’ve never been to Ranger School, and never on the grounds in the years suggested by Oliver.), also saw me when I was in some port with one of the ships I own, and also was given a ride by me in my brown Ford pickup. He got these suggestions from my FB photo albums, even though I have never owned a “ship”, (small sportfishers but no ships), and never had a brown Ford pickup. This week he sent me this, after I told him to suck start a .45 a month ago: “what ever happened to Frankie Cee, i get the impression this is not the Frankie Cee, as he does not remembers heads from tails, i sent all your emails to the FBI because i was not sure if you decided to help my brother in law with there conspiracy to deprive me of the military records to my efforts in the USMC, people have been trying to murder me and are now stopping me from living in my housing property, people are going out there way to make sure i get no support for being seen to be a veteran, and i am not sure who to turn to, like i mentioned , after a massive attack in the 90’s, i have found it hard to find people i used to know online, The FBI might not do anything about my complaints so i would not worried if i was you.. It would be good for me if you remembered me, because we were good friends for the short time i knew you, it must have been now about 18 years since we last met, it would be the end of things if you do not want to know me further, i can handle this, but if you ever find the need to help me out or to try and help the USA be all they can be,… Read more »

2-17AirCav

The message, deciphered is, “I am a schizophrenic.” Just nicely tell him that you are not the fellow he thought you were, that you are moving to Swaziland, and that you will contact him in exactly 7 mos, 6 days, and 7 hours. Have him agree not to tell anyone. That should do it.

PintoNag

Jeez, FO, that’s almost as bad as the one that writes Jonn about the killer appliances!

Frankly Opinionated

Awww crap, TSO; I forgot to mention Ward Churchill. COB6 and I went a few rounds with him back in the Days of Crochety Old Bastard blog.
Phony soldier
Phony Artist
Phony human
100% pure liberal Asshole.

CI

What about the little stain from Ft Carson, Michael Chabot(?)….who was a Cav Scout or somesuch and claimed in the local paper of his SF exploits, complete with photo of himself in a green beret and ACR patch?

2-17AirCav

PN: Sounds like a gem. Was it posted here?