Jesse MacBeth Stolen Valor Tournament Fecal Four, Day 1!
NEW POSTS ARE BELOW, THIS IS STICKY’D TO TOP
OK, let’s get it on. I will bump and redo the page each day, which will allow you to vote once per day. Total for the week wins.
Game 1:
OK, so in matchup one we have Ballduster McSoulpatch versus the Baskin Robbins Ranger. One is a Brig Gen in the CIA with a penchant for standing around naked with men in East German uniforms, and the other is a douche who goes into the high schools and lies to the kids.
Game 2:
Game 2 features Soup Sandwich against the Real Liam Neeson. One is a three-CIB-Wearing Air Force super commando who thinks the RTB didn’t show him enough love, and the other is a man who grew fairly wealthy by convincing people his daughter was kidnapped for the sex trade, and he went and killed them all.
Perhaps a refresher course:
GAME 1
Soulpatch:
Friends with the Dalai Llama and Steven Segal.
Was Vice President of Asian Operations, Samaya, Inc., and in the Army was “Advisor to the Commander-In-Chief (1995-1999) regarding S.E. Asian Affairs, with a specific focus on Thailand, Cambodia & Laos.”
Claism to have attended Standford, Assumption University, Purdue, DLI, and JFKSWCS.
Arrested wearing a diaper on his head.
Matthis Chiroux:
Considers himself a modern-day MLK.
Likes to write “Soldiers are not heroes” in Magic Marker on his back.
When not busy burning flags, he likes to tell lies about his combat service in Afghanistan.
GAME 2
Soup Sandwich:
Bill Hillar/Liam Neeson:
Claimed to have a PhD from the University of Oregon in a health field.
So anyway, vote early and often. I will reset each day, and it will close on Friday evening.
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Category: Politics
I like the Funny Clown v. Evil Clown pairings. Let the peoples speak! Let the peoples decide! Onward!
Tough match ups. I wish we could get them all in the ring together though, I suspect it’d look like a transvestite slap fight on Hay Street.
I’m with Jonn on this one. It’s too bad they all can’t “win”.
I had to vote for Hillar, though, because on top of everything else, that cretin actually profited by his lies, and raked in tons of taxpayer’s money in the process.
Jonn, it scares me that you know of transtesticle slap fights and what street they are held on. I’m just sayin…….
He still didn’t tell me who won. And yeah…drop all four of them into Thunderdome.
#4 OT: agreed. I take it transtestical slap fights are a sport in WV.
Voted for Ballduster and The Soup!
I thought this one was pretty easy. Ballduster and Hillar.
Mathis actually is a vet and went to Afghanistan, even if it was only six days on the FOB. Ballduster actually made up a host of stories with medals etc.
Hillar made a buisiness out of his lies.
The tough matchup will be the final vote.
I went with the former MP Ballduster because he has both the look and the lies. He’s “The Big Bang Theory” meets Michael Jackson.
I also went with the Hillar. Ditto what HM2 said.
I will miss Matthis. Only his face works on that body. The sad part is those photoshopped woman’s arms are bigger than his real arms.
Pussy.
True gents, but for sheer balldacity, ‘Duster and the Soup are over the top. Matthis is just one of many in his crowd, and Hillar is only a con man.
Matthis Vs Soupy.
Matthis vs Reality…..
Go Funny clowns!!! Scary clowns remind me of serial killers. Im scared of them
Ballduster & Soupy…
It was tough choosing between Ballduster and Matthis, but I had to go with Matthis. After all, Ballduster is psychotic and delusional but he never got busted selling drugs near an elementary school.
And Soup Sandwich without hesitation.
Had to go with Duster and Soup. It takes really huge balls to walk on to Benning dressed to not impress Ranger DS’s. As for Duster, he’s relegated to that spot in history only he can occupy…
I have to go with the underdog card on this one. The easiest one was Hillar vs. Soupy.
I’ve already said that while Soupy is a blinding ball of stupidity, thats all he is. Hillar on teh other hand is Liam ‘freak’n’ Neeson who has killed more people with his pinky finger than God has with all the fire, brimstone, plagues, and holy wars combined.
The harder choice was ballduster vs. a modern-day MLK. Though it pains me to say it, I hold McManus in such contempt and loathing that I don’t want him to win anything. Including this. Well, and he’s Scottish.
So, are we going to invite the winner to a ceremony when this over?
If so, where should it be? Norfolk? San Diego? Georgia?
Yes we are, tenatively we have planned on giving the winner a cruise off the coast of Somalia in one of our custom yachts (actually a row boat.)
Ballduster, Ballduster Rah Rah Rah!
Soupy Soupy Sou-pee….fah la la la la!!
I just love a good competition!