What we know about General Ballduster McSoulpatch (Education)
Continuing on….
The Education is the real funny part. And I mean funny like a red hot poker in the arse (a la Mel Brooks) not “ha ha” funny.
CLAIMS:
Assumption University
MS / Study Master of Science in Counseling Psychology (MSCP) , Business Psychology , 1995 — 1997
Activities and Societies: Volleyball Team, Mensa International
Again, right in the middle of his Army Career, they send a Intelligence guy (or linguist, or infantry guy) to school for Psychology. I found “Assumption College” in Mass, but that would be weird, since he has no Massachusetts mailing addresses. There are two “Assumption Universities.” One fits well with the rest of his narractive, Assumption University of Thailand. However, it would be an odd place for a Buddhist Monk to attend:
In loyalty to its Christian mission, Assumption University stands for
the inculcation of respect for the three institutions of the Nation: Religion, Country, the King and a democratic way of life.
the belief that a man justifies himself and his existence by the nobility of his work.
the commitment to be a light that leads men towards the true source of all knowledge and life.
CLAIM:
John F. Kennedy Special Warfare Center and School
Graduated , SERE, PSYOPS & Strategic Intelligence , 1994 — 1995Activities and Societies: Yes, I was both Active & Social here. (That’s a hint that if you wish to know more of what I did there, please ask me in private.)
In a word, BWAHAHAHAHAHA.
I also have been to the JFKSWCS. I took a tour of the facility. Nice place. The Man Who Sees Elephants was listed as living in California during this time period. I contacted the JFKSWC and spoke with a PAO who is attempting to verify his claims. I do have an adsress listed associated with him from Feb 1995-Jan 1997 that is in Carrboro, NC, but that is an hour and 24 minute one way trip. The address thing isn’t always an exact science, so working on it.
Do I take that Activites and Societies thing to mean he was also graduating Magna Cum Laude from Bone Smuggler University? I assume so, but who knows. I am assuming his memory of SERE is like the memory seered into John Kerry’s memory.
CLAIM:
Purdue University
BS , Psychology with Minor in Linguistics , 1988 — 1993Activities and Societies: Mensa International. Delta Chi Fraternity. Instructor, Purdue Aikido Club. Volleyball Club Sport Team, Master’s Swim Team.
OK, so once again, more school, no military. Apparently he spent his 20 years in the military hopping to different schools. I will run his timeline in the next full post, just so you can keep track.
The dates on this match. I have addresses all over the West Lafayette region. I believe someone is trying to verify that part now.
CLAIM:
Defense Language Institute
BA , German. Tested out of French, Italian & Thai , 1984 — 1985Activities and Societies: 1985 Soldier Of The Year, U.S. Army – Defense Language Institute
Special Operation Forces w/ a speciality in Personal Protection Details, Intelligence and PSYOPS (Psychological Operations)
OK, so a bunch of commenters said you couldn’t test out of languages like that then. I have no clue. I don’t have mailing addresses that far back on his background. I contacted the DLI Alumni Association. They haven’t been particularly helpful yet, but working on it. If I had to guess, I would say he did go to DLI. Either way, Special Ops doesn’t run shit out of DLI according to everything I read.
Now, he doesn’t claim Stanford on his Linked In site. But he does on his Friendster site:
College/University:
Stanford University, Attended 1999 – 2005, Class of 2005, Ph.D., Bio-Psychology
Seems odd to leave that out, no? I mean, wouldn’t your doctorate be something you listed on your professional page, and less so on your personal one? If I was looking for a job, I would list Law School at GMU over Mt Everett Regional High School. Maybe I am just wacky that way.
Anyway, someone asked, so looking at his record, I find addresses in Stanford and San Jose during the time he is claiming to have been at Stanford. Hoping someone can research that for me and see if they can find anything.
I just heard from the Spec Ops folks, I need a SSN, working on that. I have most of it already, but missing last 4. I believe I should have shortly.
My next post will be a time line of his claim. Should be fun.
Oh, and I have seen the elephant.
But not during the civil war, where I only served as a Drummer Boy in AP Hill’s Brigade, and i hid during the battles, because anything with a prehensile nose needs to be avoided, be it an elephant or Barbra Streisand.
Category: Politics
“Oh, and I have seen the elephant.”
Impossible, Rosie O’Donnell is not on The View, she is now on Sat Radio.
I remember it like it was yesterday, man. I had just been promoted from BG to Grand-Major General of the Republic as part of a black-ops project headed out of Area-51. We checked in with the project lead, a clone of Nikolai Tesla who had embraced Buddhism and achieved the ability to transfer his knowledge from body to body through the use of static discharge from terry-cloth towels. Disguised as an elephant safari, Tesla wanted us to recon an area at the South Pole, where Nazi’s had set up a base just before the end of WWII. Our mission? Retrieve Hitler’s frozen brain; the repository of a vast trove of information imparted to the fuhrer by grey space aliens, including faster than light space travel and the secret to making a really good daiquiri using Kool-Aid and lighter fluid. We saddled up and performed a few ninja techniques to throw off the spetznaz, but before you knew it, the weather turned against us and we were forced to eat one of my best guy’s foot to survive. Thank God my facial hair survived the temperatures. We limped back to Area-51 in a perfectly preserved German U-boat we found, but I’ll never forget how all of this started due to Bush’s illegal war in Iraq. I’ll never forgive that bastard for us having to eat CDR Segal’s foot.
ADM Mickey “Soul Man” McAnus, PHD, PhysED, JD, BUD, STP
F04th Recon Force Patrol Brigade Assassin Team Unit (Mech)
Area-53 Commo Bunker Repair Shed
ROFL!!!
Once again, Claymore knocks it out of the park. Now had you added that while training up at Thai Clown College, he had run into Col. What Da Phuck moonlighting as a bargirl in Pattaya, it would have been truly complete.
“(Mech)” – that got a laugh.
On the DLI thing –
In about 1988 or so (I can’t be precise), I “tested out” of the DLI exam in German and was subsequently awarded the German linguist identifier on my MOS which was 02C4LGM, with the “LGM” indicating the identifier.
I was stationed in Berlin at the time and never attended DLI.
I’m not sure if the DLI people allow their students to “test out” of other languages or not. But I was granted permission to do so and passed the exam.
YMMV.
including faster than light space travel and the secret to making a really good daiquiri using Kool-Aid and lighter fluid.
I think you’re up to about 5 keyboards and 2 monitors that you owe me…..
Sparky,
IF he had run into Col. Wat Du Phuck, that would have been pushing the story too far……;-)
Shouldn’t there have been a (p) after that rank Claymore? *G* Outstanding…
DLI linguists aren’t allowed to test out of languages… if they were, they wouldn’t send them to DLI. We even had some native speakers go through there because they had to pick up some terminology that you just don’t run into anywhere else. I have seen guys take the Defense Language Proficiency Test that weren’t DLI grads or students, but that was an afterthought. You don’t get a language, you don’t work in a language, you don’t test high enough in your target language, you don’t get paid for your language.
Also to clarify for TSO. SF has and does go to DLI, they just don’t operate ops out of there. I was billeted with the SF guys there and I played rugby with them, the SEALS, and a select group of other sado-masochists.
The only theing that ass-hat tried to test out of at DLI (if he even went) was reality. You want to know if he really went? Ask him about the legend of Sloat Monument. Every, EVERY DLI grad knows that one.
Been through DLI twice. Can’t speak too much for the Army, but very familiar with the language community. “Tested out” is not a part of the lexicon. Back in 1980’s there was no Foreign Language Pay, no language proficiency requirement beyond DLI. You could take a the DLPT in other languages, but it would have little bearing on anything. Sorry to say, but I would not be the least bit surprised if attending DLI turns out to be the only true part of his resume. DLI seems to attract the strange ones. Too bad this guy turned out to be a criminal.
[…] Ain’t Hell covers it here, here, here, here and here. Like I said, I hate these guys. TSO and the fine folks at TAH go and get […]
If he really received a PhD from Stanford, the University library would have a copy of his Dissertation and he should show up on a lit search of the Dissertation Abstracts International database. Something like 95% of all dissertations are indexed in this database (most PhD programs require it).
I looked in the online catalog for the library- no dissertation. My access codes are at work, but anyone with access to a university library should be able to do an online search through Dissertation Abstracts International.
How to check on Stanford–you got to it before me, I just did the same search with the same results: zilch. No thesis published at Stanford in Psychology or Biology in any year between 1999-2005, nor is any thesis listed in the National Digital Thesis Library or ProQuest that I can find.
Also, he lists his PhD as being in “Bio-Psychology”. This is from the Stanford Psychology department site (https://www.stanford.edu/dept/psychology/cgi-bin/drupalm/gradprogram): “This section includes informaton for prospective and current Ph.D. students, as well as alumni. Our department offers a Ph.D in Psychology. We have five different areas of study: Cognitive, Developmental, Neuroscience, Personality, and Social Psychology. We do not offer programs in Clinical, Counseling, Industrial, Organizational, or Para Psychology.” Not seeing any bio-psych area of study, and it’s not surprising in the least.
FWIW.
This guy is like one of Iowahawk’s characters
Went through DLI much earlier than some of the above posters, 1966-67 in Hungarian. None of the terminology above makes any sense to me either. The training is much different now than it was then so I certainly do profess to be an expert on current situations. Did go back to visit a couple of years ago and established a pretty good relationship with Ben De La Silva, the alumni association President. Ben’s an former 173rd Army Sgt and stayed on after getting out. He was the dean of a couple of schools there until he retired. Let me know if you want his email address.
During the 80’s, DLIFLC did host many members of the Special Operations Community for training in various languages (I was there 88-89 for German basic and LeFoxx (intermediate) courses). I believe this was during a time when the JFKSWTC was developing its own language school for the teams. Also, one could request permission to take the DLPT (Defense Language Proficiency Test) in other languages while at DLI, as long as it did not interfere with one’s class schedules, and was during a time the school was administering tests for graduating classes. No one I know from DLI during this guys time knows him, and he tried to join our private FB group of people that worked in a specific section in Berlin, FRG.
[…] Was Vice President of Asian Operations, Samaya, Inc., and in the Army was “Advisor to the Commander-In-Chief (1995-1999) regarding S.E. Asian Affairs, with a specific focus on Thailand, Cambodia & Laos.” Claism to have attended Standford, Assumption University, Purdue, DLI, and JFKSWCS. […]
Sorry, Sniper, not “every, every DLI grad” knows the story of Sloat Monument… then too, I only went there twice (77-78 and 81-82). Just knew it was a monument near the PX gas station.
As of ’82, there WAS no DLI Soldier of the Year award – the progression was SOM by company, then SOQ by service, then SOQ for the post. Don’t know if that was added, but could probably find out – a friend who started in another language when we were both PFCs retired out as the post CSM a while back.
Since DLI was not an MOS producing school, passing a proficiency test in a language was pointless – for instance maybe you were a 98G*LRU and knew German – unless you actually went through the 98G course in German, probably the most you would get was being posted to Germany. Knowing the Army, more likely they’d send you to Korea.
@Sniper…Gotta agree with Dave, I went through in 79-80 and 86-87. Reenlisted at Sloat Monument as a First Class… but I can’t remember a legend. The only DLI legend I can remember was the cyanide capsules you got at dental.
Update – I did check with my buddy and when he was the post CSM there was NO post SOY, just the services SOQ – so unless the system changed between ’82 when I left AND changed back, there was no post SOY as claimed. Nor could you get a BA from the German course – maybe an Associates, but the German course was I believe only a 37 week course. The 47 week courses were only worth 21 college hours. So that is what we know, covering 77-78, 81-82, and 2004-2006.
Legends – there was this one Army girl in Co. C… SHE was legndary. (Well, that and the reasons why the Navy anchor in front of their barracks was periosdically painted pink.)
The real legends: the Czech instructor who was rumored to have been one of Heydrich’s assassins, and Merrill’s grave.
You can test out of languages. At DLI they’re a bit stiff about it but it’s possible. There’s also Bi-Passes. They test out of their language at MEPS. I know some who tested out of their native or secondary language while at DLI, but they still had to take the course assigned to them. Good for them, double language on the ERB. Then a few added some languages while here at Goodfellow like the Farsi students taking Dari. I’m here at Goodfellow and almost all the Spanish linguists are Bi-passes from Peurto Rico. What’s interesting to me is the BA in German… Last i checked all DLI has available is an AA for any language, and you have to earn the General courses for it outside of DLI. As for Sloat, no legend but damn is it ugly.
EDIT: you can test out of languages at DLI…Except for the one you are actually assigned, as far as i know. So the Native Speakers that DID end up at DLI, either had to take their own language, or take whatever else was assigned to them based on the needs of the army and sit through the whole class.
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