I’m officially part of the vast right wing conspiracy now.
Thanks to Blackfive for forwarding along this little chucklefest:
Soldiers’ Angels is a pro-war nonprofit whose primary aim their Web site explains is to provide “aid and comfort to the men and women of the United States Army, Marines, Navy, Air Force, Coast Guard, and their families.” Their trustees include Mark Seavey who co-founded Vets for Freedom — a group currently managed by Purple Heart recipient, Wade Zirkle, who also serves on the advisory board of the Warrior Legacy Foundation, a nonprofit “steadfastly committed to changing the perception of the America’s Warrior Class.” Another Soldiers’ Angels trustee, Matthew Burden, presently acts as the chair of Warrior Legacy’s board of directors, and is an advisor to a group of war veterans called Team Rubicon, which describe its role as providing a private sector approach to disaster relief, “bridg[ing] the gap between catastrophe and large-scale response.”
I remember it like it was yesterday. Matt, myself, the head of Richard Nixon affixed to Bender’s body, Ollie North, a medium channelling Genghis Khan, Paul Weyrich and (inexplicably) the Smothers brothers had decided to meet in secret with Jim Hake at the Olive Garden, because they treat you like family there. We were ushered into a back room secreted in a bookshelf, where we were met by Dick Cheney, Emperor Palpatine and the ghost of Orville Redenbacher. We began, as is our daily wont, with a reading from the Holy Necronomicon, before sacrificing many a virgin. (Let me tell you, Virgin bloody mary’s do wonder for a hangover.)
I don’t want to give the ending away, but we decided to create a cabal of organizations which help wounded vets, give book bags to Afghan kids, and the Warrior Legacy Foundation, and through this incredible affluence change the world so that that power of Zorg might again come to power. (BTW- Doesn’t this guy know we also rule Scientology? I mean shit, how much research did he do to miss that.)
Anyway, at the meeting we also drank Guinness from the recently unearthed skull of Xena, the ancient warrior princess. This of course imbued us with great powers. Each of us got to chose our super power. Since I obviously already had a secret power of “devastatingly good looks”, I went with the ability to block out all retarded blog postings that I might stumble upon. Thankfully, it has come in handy this day my friends.
(Um, hey asshole, in the next version of this, you can include that I also worked for the Free Congress Foundation for 3 months in 1992. Yep, I did. Consisted almost entirely of drinking beer with Paul Weyrich’s son Pete.)
Category: Politics
I went and subjected myself to reading the whole article and maybe it is just me but does this sound like an outline for the next “Davinci Code” movie? The part about the Soldiers Angels seems to just be thrown in there for no other reason then for the author to take his jab calling them a ‘pro-war’ group.
Somehow he failed to tie in the Wounded Warrior Project into this but he certainly hit all of the other organizations. I wonder why he didn’t include a nice little organization chart so we could follow along.
Meanwhile Munchkins dance and sing in the background. Cue: “Follow The Yellow Brick Road”
Thanks for the VBM tip!
You guys up for a road trip. King Tuts skull maybe hitting the auction circuit shortly.
I knew it! It all makes perfect sense now.
And you thought you could hide it?
Color me surprised……..not. 🙂
“Does anyone smell fat-cat shit?”
Well yeah… cuz Cat S*t One just dropped a big ole stanky a** free dump.
I suppose Camel and Bunny anime is part of the conspiracy?
Oh wait, B5 posted it… gotta be part of the cabal.
http://www.blackfive.net/main/2011/02/cat-sht-one-first-episode-now-available.html#comments
He left out the part where it’s a gentlemen’s club because you don’t allow women to be members, only lick the stamps for the envelopes.
Good, he totally missed your work with Cooking with the Troops (Death From Within!) and the involvement of Zombie Reagan in all this. Sheesh! You can feel the IQ points dying off as you read that tripe…
Holy Cat Sh*t Batman! I was RIGHT!
Just scrolled down and realized TSO posted it too.
But of course he did! What was I thinking? They’re all in it together. Pay no attention to the fat-cat behind the curtain; Michael Yawn is a frien’emies diversion.
It’s like the wool was lifted off my eyes… only to be replaced by the forced injection of 5000 cc’s of bullshit in each eye.
They did forget the late night WoW sessions with Stalin and The Kyrgan from Highlander. Man, did that Kyrgan guy get all pissy when we ran out of Mountain Dew.
The line “Soldiers’ Angels is a pro-war nonprofit…” had me thinking that perhaps I should not read the link, but, against my better judgment, I did. Whilst reading the complete article I wondered if my comprehension skills were lacking or had been damaged in some way. However, upon reading this bit, “…the escalation of the use of nonviolent warfare…”, I sighed…it wasn’t just my lack of comprehension.
Geez, need to start donating more to these groups since there involved in a cabal. Always wanted to belong to one, but didn’t know I already did.
I read it and U’mmm, all that they find bad; I find good. Does that mean that I wanna be in on it tooooo? Where was Gordon Duff’s input there? I am sure that they could have tied the Mossad in if only they had consulted him.
What drivel.
Barkers Barking…….
At Olive Garden? Well, that certainly beat Pizza Palace.
I knew it…all a grand conspracy. I guess Bohemian Grove just blew right by.
Spockgirl
My quantum mechanics prof used to say…”if any of this makes sense to you, you don’t get it” That would seem to apply here!
This is what I left on Facebook regarding this column:
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Michael Barker is a world-class moron. I managed to choke down my bile while reading through that piece of craptastic leftist psychobabble.
If he gave a tinker’s damn about the people of Iraq, Afghanistan, or anywhere else, he wouldn’t be writing such adolescent drivel. If he can’t see the worth in aiding those people, or supporting our military, then he should simply STFU and STFD and leave the heavy lifting to the folks who get what needs to be done.
That author is a cancer on the body politic of this nation.
AW1 Tim, you just about said it all concerning this POS. He’s a real wanker.
This was like a month’s worth of Tuesday’s with claymore all at once.
you know its really funny how they are always RIGHT wing conspiracies, when, at most those groups that are part of said conspiracy, usually have little more than a general consensus that America is a good place, and should be supported.
The Left on the other hand usually does have actual conspiratorial programs and movements, and not necessarily on the fringe. What they tend to lack is consensus as to what they want to change America into.
I won’t say the Right is without vitriol, but when you compare the numbers and the sheer vileness of the bile spewing hateful and holier than thou types who (not so secretly) want America to fundamentally alter, then you’ll find that the Left is far more guilty than the Right.
This is exactly why I canceled my cabal and got AT&T Uverse instead.
Good grief!
BTW TSO,
Membership card and secret decoder ring are in the mail…..
If TSO is part of the rightwing conspiracy, then I must be part of the rightwing conspiracy as well, even though I never got the decoder ring or membership card (dirty bastards said it was in the mail; f-ing liars)according to this moron’s standards, since I have donated to SA and am a member of WLF, plus I have several friends that are members of VFF and I’m a racist Tea Party member. I guess I should get my Darth Vader wardrobe out of the closet, eh?
I had a little credit card sized card that stated I was a Member of the Vast Right-wing Conspiracy from a book I read back in the late 90s. It entitled me to:
1) Argue with liberals til their heads explode
2) Debate anybody who claimed to support a Clinton
3) Smack anyone who had a Greenpeace sticker on their car
And a host of other things. Sadly, I lost the card but feel like a member still to this day.
Hey OldTrooper,
I wasn’t in charge of mailing them out back then…..
TSO, why do you insist on doing this to me? You know I can’t resist hitting the linky, and you know what these craptastic “articles” do to my blood pressure. This guy is a complete moron.
By the way Old Tanker, can I have a membership card too?
As the gunner says… “On the way!”
a medium channelling Genghis Khan
Damn librul. What, you folks too touchy-feely to get Attila the Hun?
“Anyway, at the meeting we also drank Guinness from the recently unearthed skull of Xena, the ancient warrior princess.”
I wondered what happened to Lucy Lawless after her botched National Anthem at the hockey game.
Now looky here: y’all all can’t be getting on other folks bandwagons. Get your own! Remember: it’s VAST, not ENDLESS!
Y’all taking up all the good seats anyway…
I like what I read! Preteen sex micro teacup pigs
***spam***
Thanks for any other wonderful post. The place else could anyone get that kind of info in such an ideal way of writing? I’ve a presentation subsequent week, and I’m on the look for such information.
***spam***
@33 – Try to learn English before you make a presentation of any kind in public. And stop using texting as a language. It isn’t language, it’s shorthand.
i caved, i read the link.
i have to wonder, what does he object to? there was no action he mentioned that was a negative thing, yet he insults, belittles, and attacks all moves made. they helped set up the women’s college and he calls it anti feminist. does this retard want people to go back to having a good ol dictator that throws people off of roofs for entertainment? is this guy just one of those people that opposes anything american? that is the only answer i could come up with
Smitty, he’s the same species as our personal fiend, psul the uncool.