Felipe Batista – Five-Star Marine Corps General; The Pentagon’s Best Kept Secret

| July 10, 2023

Felipe Nicolas Batista

We here at TAH/VG rarely, if ever, post someone that we don’t have complete FOIA results for, but we decided to make an exception with Mr. Batista.

We posted about him in the past, folded into an article with the theme being they are not worth our time. We did not have a name other than the ‘Batista’ on his name tag. His full name is Felipe Nicolas Batista Cifuentes, 59 y/o, and we are actually surprised that he would use his real name. Batista currently resides in Miami, FL but had previously lived in Kansas.

Goofy Bastards, grabasstic clusterphucks that should have been spit out

Back then, he was a 3-star with a POW medal with one star denoting a second award. A bronze star would designate the second award, and a silver star designates several awards.  (NOTE: Gold and Silver Star attachments apply only to USN, USMC and USCG. Bronze and Silver Oak Leaf attachments apply only to Army and USAF.)

He also has a Purple Heart with one star (on Army uniform vs. oak leaf cluster, star on USMC uniform is correct for the second award) which signifies something – an additional award? Or five awards? He also has an Airborne patch because, well, why not?

But he seems to have also spent some time in the US Army if you believe this photo he has posted.
Before you think “Bag O’ Ass” or “Soup Sandwich” consider that he could be an operator because he has the operator beard and ‘MARSOC’ plastered all over his Facebook page.

Then, he claimed Army Airborne one-star general.

Well, at least he isn’t claiming service in the US Navy or Air Force, and no NDSM among those medals.  Oh, wait…

He retired his old Facebook page and created a new Facebook page. Now, he seems to have resurfaced with a newly minted rank of a 5-star general in the Marine Corps.

We could find no active duty service for him listed in DoD Manpower Data Center / SCRA. The harsh reality of filing a FOIA on him is that we would have to file with each individual military branch and perhaps even assume he is still on active duty. Then, we would have to file with NPRC and most likely not get a response anytime soon. That’s like 5-7 different places to account for currently being active duty or left the service.  He claims that he works for the Joint Staff but we confirmed that there is nobody listed at the Joint Staff with any variation of his name.

We also checked the POW database and could not find his name listed, let alone twice as his medal would suggest.

Even while in uniform, he disguises his identity quite a bit. The beer gut alone would make one think he’s not high-speed low-drag. It could be to throw you off the trail.

There’s quite a bit of specialized training to be an operator.  Besides the uniforms and bling, this customized flight simulator must have cost some bank.

This rejection letter that he posted would not allow Batista to be all he could be. (Click to enlarge)

The burning question you all may have is how to tally him into the Valor Vulture pool?

However, we could be wrong.  He could be the Pentagon’s secret weapon, encased behind glass only to be broken under extreme conditions to release all that lethality upon the enemy.  Stay tuned – Batista could get that sixth star but he may have to cross over into the Army to do so.

Category: Marine Corps Poser

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A Proud Infidel®️™️

He’s built like a MEAL Team Six Buffet Assault Commando!

Skivvy Stacker

Or…Heavy Infantry.

Hambo Award.jpg

Damn… USMC 5 Star general! Don’t ever remember seeing that memo come out. I’ll bet that there’s all sorts of nefarious activity that Felipe has been involved in. Probably a booty banging butt pirate that is a Charter Member of the “Palladium Club” at Brucies Bath House (entrance in the rear).

ChipNASA – just “DO IT, BAYBEE”!


ChipNASA – just “DO IT, BAYBEE”!”

We will accept this as a motion to deploy the TAH As(s)teroid of Insults for the lying POS, Felipe Nicolas Batista, and hereby make a SECOND to this motion. Can we get an AYE?

Not only a liar, Felipe Nicolas Batista is a teh stoopid mofo. Hey fat boy, FIRST (ht2 R-D) of lying is to make your lie at least semi believable. You failed miserably at that too.

I doubt if you would even make a good Apprentice Towel Boy at Brucie’s Bath House (enter thru the rear). And no, it’s not mental disease, you, Felipe Nicolas Barista, CHOOSE to be a lying, fat slob.


HMCS(FMF) ret,
Phony 5 Star Felipe obviously never learned
to harness the power and knowledge acquisition
of deploying the Fu of Google.

[Are there 5 star generals in the Marines?
Commissioned officers:

NOTE 4: There has never been an O-11 “five-star” General rank thus far in the Marine Corps, though such a rank could theoretically be created at any time by an act of Congress. Currently, no officer in any branch of the U.S. military holds such a grade.]


Naw, I’m thinking he does most of his booty banging and cum gargling behind the dumpsters at I-95 truckstops, where his speciality is taint-tickling with that weak-ass beard.


Callsign SLOUCH


Is a trying to look like the dude in Sling Blade or is that just coincidental?
comment image

Last edited 10 months ago by Anonymous

I’ll take some o’ dat potted meat.

Anna Puma

This Hefty Bag of a poser is full of potted meat

A Proud Infidel®️™️

“N’ some a-‘dem French fried ‘taters!”


French fries and applesauce…


I can see that, a one star in the Army is equal to a five-star in the Marine corps. Seldom am I tempted to go complete FMJ, but here we are.


Last edited 10 months ago by 5JC

Stand down doggie- no ones slams my Marines around here. Except for me of course.


What, they shared their crayons with you?


Well, his gut is fairly impressive.


Looks like he’s swallowed whole someone from every service.


Just a small point of order. The Marine Corps, unlike the Army, designates additional individual awards with a gold star rather than an oak leaf cluster. Or at least they did back in my day. Campaign and service awards got a small bronze or silver star based on number of subsequent awards (silver for 5+).

Either way, this douche canoe looks like he dove on an exploding Army-Navy surplus store.


Brotherhood of the NDSM, subsequent awards.


Huzzah! My picture is making the rounds!


Riddle me this, Batman, who would ever want to claim that he has been captured by the enemy on multiple occasions? During my service in combat zones, getting captured by the enemy was the worst thing, other than being killed in action or wounded, that could happen to a soldier.


I believe he just might have a short in his headset.


Can he shave at least?


General Officers are not required to conform to uniform and grooming standards.
I’ll have to ask my old SGM from FT. Bragg….I mean Ft. Liberty about him commanding that unit. He must have since he is wearing the patch!


Well, that finally explains the lack of haircut my community’s commander sported. His hair hung down to the bottom of his collar.


True, but that’s more Patton dressing like we all know (see below) and not “Shave– hey, what the hell you looking at, troop?!”

Last edited 10 months ago by Anonymous
A Proud Infidel®️™️

IMHO more than that, looks to me like his gearbox is stripped out!


Why stop at 5 stars when you can just line the collars full of stars to show he is full of shit.


Oh, holy cowsh*t, Batman!
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Slow Joe

That guy is really a fuckin retard.
5 stars? WTF?


What happens at SOCOM, stays at SOCOM.


All Points Logistics gloryhole attendant?

Green Thumb

I imagine he is currently the parking garage attendant at All-Points Logistics in Merritt Island, Florida.

No way Phil Monkress would let this talent go to waste.

Probably “parks” Phildo’s car, to boot.


The underground parking garage attendant on Merritt Island.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

I’m happy as a pig in shit that he doesn’t have the coveted
Q- Why did Batista hate his wife
A- She used to sleep on a Castro

I was at my ice cream place for the live music awhile ago and one of the ladies that shows up had a friend with her, and I got into a conversation with her and asked where she was from from her accent. Turns out that she is a member of the Cuban Batista family and came to the States when she was a young girl. First time she was at the ice cream place, I didn’t talk to her but the 2nd time, she was seated next to me and thats when I found about her family


I believe the Castro Convertible was the first to conquer living space.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

You remember the jingle. Back in the 1950’2 , the little girl on TV was the owners daughter then when she grew up, she did some of the commercials

jeff LPH 3 63-66

1950’s not 1950’2. Sorry about that.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

In 1964, I was screaming for more Brasso polish aboard the USS Okinawa while he was screaming for more Pablum.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

I replied to myself instead of ninja on the above reply. Sorry about that mistake. I think my brain is a little shongod today


Dude may have been born around March 1964.

Mental Illness Is A Terrible Disease.

jeff LPH 3 63-66

In 1964, I was screaming for more Brasso polish aboard the USS Okinawa while he was screaming for more Pablum.


Paint chips.

Daisy Cutter

It must be tough to go into the Marine Corps Exchange uniform shop and get yourself five-star rank insignia. I mean, there may not be a little drawer for that with the rest of the bling. He may have crossed over into “Special Order” category.

As a side note – I knew I was getting old when I walked into a Towers Record store (remember them?) and could not find a copy of the Eagles “Hotel California.” I approached the guy at the counter, who had pink hair and a nose ring. I said I could not find “Hotel California” and he looked it up, then confirmed they did not have it in inventory. He then offered “We can special order it if you like.” With my natural hair color, unpieced nose, and choice of music I no longer was in the cool group.


Actually, Daze, MCX (and other services) uniform shops probably do a pretty brisk business in four and five starred collar, cap and shoulder board insignia.

Heavy demand out there from police chiefs and county sheriffs, doncha know… 😏 

Last edited 10 months ago by Poetrooper

To me, he reminds me of and looks like private pyle.

Green Thumb

A pile of Phil Monkress.


I have never seen a USMC uniform hang off someone like a Hefty bag on a poor kid in the rain.

Daisy Cutter

He’s got military creases – they’re just all in the wrong places and there’s too many of them.


We call those summer creases… some’re here, some’re there.

Daisy Cutter

“Lookin’ as Bad” (Sung to the tune of “Lookin’ For Love”)

Well, I spent a lifetime tryin’ to look new
My rank bars and service stripes were never true
Playing a fools game, hopin’ to win
And tellin’ those sweet lies and losin’ again
I was makin’ my creases in all the wrong places
Ironed them out but too many traces
Searchin’ the regs
Lookin’ for traces of what I’m dreaming of
Hoping to find my shoes and my cover
I’ll bless the day I discover another turd
Lookin’ as bad


I will give him props for going for the Stolen Valor gusto!

Fuck those lower ranks. I’m headed straight to Brigadier General…and BEYOND!

I would have been REALLY impressed if he had had a 7-star rank made up so that he could outrank George Washington.


I laughed so hard when I looked through the photos. It takes a special kind of stupid to think that anyone would take you seriously in all of that crap.

My thoughts are exactly the same. If you’re gonna steal valor, steal all of it. Go big or go home!


He had me at the hands in the pockets pose.


Hey, when you’re the General of the Marine Corps, ain’t nobody gonna tell you that you’re wrong!

AW1 Rod

Wow! This guy is THE Gold Standard for bottom-feeding, lowlife, poser fucktards!

RGR 4-78

The retarded love child of Joe Shit the rag man and Saggy Maggie Desanti.

Daisy Cutter

“If I had a son, he’d look like…”


RGR 4-78,
Somebody should notify Honor Flights / Florida.

Slick Goodlin

Must be Air Force, he seems to favor Air Force gloves (hands in pockets).



Watch it, you!🤣

Prior Service

He may be legit in the other services (slovenly unfortunately doesn’t always mean fake nowadays….) but the upside down bolo badges (which Os don’t even wear) are a dead giveaway that this clown is army-challenged. That is, if you were still wondering after all the other obvious indicators. Maybe he’s just a DoD fanboy who likes playing joint service dress up. (Yes, I know he’s joint-service fake.)

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Maybe he took a serious head injury as a child?

I mean this fucker’s not even trying to fool anybody except other retards….


Going out on a limb here, Steve. No FOIA? Ballsey move, but if Mr. Batista is indeed the first Five Star Marine General in US history, well, you’ll have some ‘splaining to do.


That boy ain’t right…

Slow Joe

Now, if you could only do the same for
Luis Daniel Elizondo, the guy that claims to have been the head of the UFO research team at the Pentagon…


Just in case any of you are wondering what this Turd Burglars Whiz Wheel®™ score is, it’s 82×9=738, which stands as the second highest score ever tallied.


No bonus for the five stars? Surely that would put him over the top?


Send him some shiny Starfleet bling and some official looking Federation paperwork.

How long before it hits online?


Well, he didn’t say he was in the Space Force.

Speaking of which, does anyone even know someone on active duty in the Space Force? You have more chance of meeting a Navy SEAL or an astronaut.


I know some space force people. But since I live near Starfleet headquarters It only makes sense. I also have met some astronauts. However, I haven’t seen a real Navy SEAL since 2011.


It is very obvious that Felipe Batista has severe mental issues.

This guy, Kim Yee, who is featured in the news link below, most likely has a mental issue called LYING.

In the 8 July 2023 article published by the Mercury News, Kim Yee was identified as a 72 year old “Homeless Vietnam Veteran” who “enlisted in the military as a 15-year-old during the Vietnam War in 1967…” and “trained and served overseas as an Army Ranger for more than two decades, before a combat injury sent him home.”


What is interesting is that in March and April 1987, he was identified by The Fresno Bee and The Sacramento Bee as being 33 years old who was paralyzed from the waist down for more than 15 years.

Please do the math. If he was 33 in March 1987, that means he was born either in 1953 or 1954, not 1951 as the reference link article stated.

Additionally, if in March 1987, he was paralyzed more than 15 years, that means his paralysis occurred around 1971/1972 timeframe.

Please do the other math. The article states he trained and served overseas as an Army RANGER for more than 20 years since 1967. 1967 plus 20 is 1987…the same timeframe (1987) as the Fresno and Sacramento newspaper article.

AND…In 2017, he was identified as being a Professional Body Builder who was featured in Flex Magazine and Muscle Mag as well as playing tennis and basketball for national teams:


You Can’t Make This Stuff Up.

kim yee 1.jpg

From the Sacramento Bee in April 1987:

kim yee 2.jpg

If this poor bastard was 33 in 1987, then that means he was only 13 years old in 1967 when the Mercury News says he enlisted in the Army. Now, in 1967, I was still in college, but I have a hard time believing any recruiter would enlist a scrawny 13 year old Asian kid. Especially, when the draft was meeting the Army’s personnel demands.


These “stand-downs” for supposed veterans have been scammed by “homeless” male bums for many years. Since they claim to be homeless, they mostly have no documents proving they ever served. The federal or state VA officials are not about to deny service such as dental or medical care to the purported “homeless” veterans. So, the freebees abound at these events. An acquaintance who worked at these “stand-downs” said he saw many of the same supposed veterans at multiple locations around the state.



AMEN on everything you wrote, rgr769!

We are fed up with all the BS.

We contacted the Editor of The Mercury News as well as the reporter asking questions about Kim Yee…still waiting for their reply.

We also suspect the Yee was really born in 1955. We found a 1971 yearbook picture of a Kim Yee from San Mateo High School (California). We think this may be him.

We also found a 1975 news article identifying a 20 year old Kim Yee from San Mateo who was a passenger in a car that was involved in a shooting that killed the 18 year old driver of the car. Yee suffered injuries from that shooting, but not enough to paralyze him as the 1987 news article depicted.

In other words, Kim Yee is a Habitual Liar and an Attention Seeker. Not only did was he a Body Builder and a Tennis Player, but also am Army RANGER..AND A HOMELESS VIETNAM VETERAN…*sarc on*

Next thing you know, he will be fighting in Ukraine…from his Wheelchair, because after all, Kim Yee is one tough MF…

Boy, would we love for Kim Yee to meet rgr769 face to face…😉😎


Kim Yee from The Mercury News article.

You Be The Judge.


Kim Yee from the Body Builder article mentioned above.

You Be The Judge.


Judge not, lest Yee be judged…



That. Was.BAD…😆😅🤣😂😁😆😅🤣😂

Have this feeling that Felipe and Yee are BOTH gonna tell others they were TOP GUNS….

(KoB’s name came out on the Duty Roster today via DA FORM 6, but we volunteered to take his place since he had some missions to perform with Roh-Dog…The King and Queen of Battle At Their Best..)




It had to be done. You dropped the perfect straight line. Twice. I had good tone, I took the shot…


Bagram Taught You Well.





🎶with a Rebel Yell….


These doods need to put their lies on ice, man.


Apparently, I would have to fly to beautiful Vietnam, since that is where he is running his gym. That is not going to happen.

He is the first Asian I have seen with an afro.


Good God… that thousand yard buffet line stare and Walrus Team 6 figure need to be housed behind glass reading “Break in Case of Leftovers.”


That Manchu collar always trips them up.


He was probably a graduate of the West Annapolis Academy for commissioning! And it looks like maybe, A HERO! Dang!

Army-Air Force Guy

He was in the same class as Charles Henry Dawes.


Believe it or not I found a bigger shit bag today.

Army reservist accused of defrauding Gold Star families (newsnationnow.com)


My 2-cents, Why would they and how did he convince them?

Grieving and gullible only go so far!

I’m on their (the Gold Star Families) side, but any time that you come into some money, and someone shows up to “help”, do you not see red flags?


A Military Officer offers to help out and the rest follows.

Used to be still serving

I just read the article on Kim Yee. It reminded me of how much I hate “Veteran stand downs”. I also hate the filthy scammers they attract.

Mike B

The asshat is so fucking confused. He’s in pictures wearing Marine and Army uniforms, and in other pictures he’s wearing a Navy and Air Force ball cap. Just needs to add Space Force and Coast Guard bling and he’ll have all the branches covered for Stolen Valor.

Since he’s in my state, Florida, can we just feed him to the crocs/gators/sharks/pythons? Just so we can rid Florida of another embarrassing stain!

Last edited 10 months ago by Mike B

Pick a challenge, pick a service, set youself apart…

Make a decision on your BS story and stick with it, chubwub. Read AR 670-1. Read the reg about career progression in your chosen BS. Better yet, actually join and do something! (Just sayin’.)


How did his promotion get by Senator Tubberville?

Edited to guard PII.


I was impressed with the rifle and pistol badges being swapped.