What’s Next – Pop-Tart Control Laws?
In Baltimore, People’s Republic of Maryland, a 7 year old kid was recently suspended from school for 2 days for an “inappropriate gesture”.
His “crime”? Eating a Pop-Tart. While doing so, one of his teachers saw the half-eaten pastry – and thought it was being shaped to look like a gun.
I wish I was joking above. Unfortunately, I’m not.
We all knew that common sense ceased to be a requirement for public educators years ago. Apparently now working brain cells are no longer required either.
Completely asinine. But hey – it’s just another public-school example of “your tax dollars at work.”
Category: "Teh Stoopid", Gun Grabbing Fascists, Guns
…high capacity assault variant:
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/9/9b/SCEhardt_Pop-Tart_Mixed_Box.jpg
But, I thought we wanted tart reform. Oh, TORT reform, gotcha!
When pastries are outlawed, only outlaws will have pastries!
There is no legitimate need for frosted toaster pastries.
Thet need to implement a four Pop Tart maximum per box law. A kid would have to open another package before he could continue his sugar rampage, giving the teacher time to call the SWAT Team.
I guess this means firing a ruler and rubber band rifle at another kid or tossing a #2 pencil into the ceiling is frowned upon too.
Whatever happened to playing cowboys and Indians?
@7 they call the cops on you now…better to play Bonnie n Clyde so at least you can go down shooting…
@8 — 🙂
@ EX-PH2 …. what did you say? That is Native Americans, Indigenous Personnel, member of the —– Tribe or Nation, and/or the like.
How dare you use such horrible descriptions such as INDIANS?
On a related note: St. Patrick’s Day is almost upon us. From this point forward, all Irish people shall be referred to as: the good and gentle people of Ireland!
I saw a box that had 16 Pop Tarts in it the other day at WalMart.
Who NEEDS 16 Pop Tarts? And evil business-killing (and baby-killing) WalMart selling them??
OMGWTFBBQ!!1!eleventy!!11!
And on another take, perhaps the government needs to put restrictions on the letter “L” because if you look at it a certain way it looks JUST LIKE an evil black gun…
This reminds me of a story I heard recently of a 6 or 7 year old boy who was suspended from school for pointing his figure and saying, “bang, bang.”
The school and the board defended the decision because school policy prohibits … get this … “weapons of any kind, real or imagined.”
Master Chief, I see what they’re teaching kids these days in school, and I weep for my nation. Christ, when I was in HS chemistry, we made contact explosives, for Chrissakes. Now, even saying “bang” gets you an instant suspension.
But of course they’re going to defend the decision, because it absolves them of the need to think. To think there was a day when people with Master’s and PhD’s were considered smart. Or is it PHd, Obama Girl?
Reminds me of the anti gun teacher that refused to grade two students essays because they mentioned guns. They were told to write about anything they wanted. Neither wrote about actually shooting the guns. One wrote about going to a gun show and the other wrote about a hunting trip.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2282323/High-school-teacher-refuses-mark-student-papers-mentioned-guns.html
The obvious problem here is the dangerous “imagined” gun, and who’s doing the imagining? The teacher, of course, who saw a gun where there was only a harmless Pop Tart. This teacher has committed the thought-crime of gun visualization and should be fired for the sake of the children—maybe imprisoned too.
This weekend with my 7 year old: bonfire complete with accelerants and Red Ryder target practice. He knows fire safety and is a damn good shot!
@Master Chief, we could also call them aborigines, or abos, as is done in the land down under. I don’t think they’d like that, though.
Sparky, if schools are stifling early childhood creativity and imagination, that explains why my sister, who teaches a pre-med curriculum, told me that every incoming freshman class at her university has a large group of students who are required to take remedial English. They can’t read for comprehension, they can’t write intelligibly, and they are functionally illiterate. They have to be told what kind of projects to work on instead of coming up with their own ideas.
What happens to these kids if the draft is ever reinstated? Just think about the psychological smackdown that will generate.
Ms. Obamafan, Second grade:
“Johnny! If what you are saying to Mikey is so important, why don’t you stand up and share it with the whole class?”
“I think I better not.”
“What did you say, Johnny?”
“Well, okay, I said, “‘I’d like to ventilate that bitch.'”
What if the teacher makes the threat?
http://www.theblaze.com/stories/2013/03/04/indiana-teacher-suspended-after-writing-strange-gun-threat-on-chalkboard-the-guns-are-loaded/
Ex-PH2: here’s my prediction re: your comment 20.
1. The teacher’s union and NEA get involved and defend the teacher.
2. At the teacher’s administrative hearing, the union brings in an “expert witness” who testifies that the teacher has some type of “psychological issue” that caused the behavior and which qualifies as a “disability” under the ADA.
3. Unable to fire the teacher because of their “disability”, the school district shifts the teacher to administrative duties (or assigns him/her make work – NYC and LA apparently do that for teachers who can’t perform classroom duties at times).
4. The teacher draws a paycheck from the school district for years/decades, then retires and draws a pension.
@20, Ex, bet he’s on paid leave, during the “investigation”.
I don’t know how true it is, but it looks like the school is offering counseling for students who were disturbed by the incident.
@23 Too bad they don’t offer counseling for the sh1tty education most kids are getting these days….
@24. They do. It’s called unemployment counseling.
@25 Now that’s funny right there….
There was another article (sorry, can’t link due to workplace filters) about a 12 year old boy, in NJ I think, who was jumped by two classmates, beaten, suffered seizures afterwards, and died. Never had seizures before; DA was “considering” whether/how to charge the two thugs, who meanwhile had been suspended for – yup, two days. So apparently the punishment is the same whether you erroneously chow down on a pastry or kill someone.
http://www.foxnews.com/us/2013/03/05/philly-area-boy-12-taken-off-life-support-weeks-after-suffering-injuries-in/?intcmp=obinsite
Homeschool your kids or find a good charter or private school that promotes solid traditional values.
Not homeschooling my kids was my biggest parenting regret. They would have had a far better education without the nanny statism and frustration dealing with incompetent, subversive teachers.
I can’t believe these teachers and their historical illiteracy. Ever hear of World War II?
If it weren’t for Pop-Tarts, we’d all be eating Toaster Streudel today.
The Children! For God’s sake, won’t someone think of the children?
http://detroit.cbslocal.com/2013/03/08/cupcakes-with-army-soldiers-get-kid-in-hot-water-at-school/
World War II? Oh, yeah, that was something FDR didn’t want us to be involved in, but was forced to at ‘gunpoint’ (by the Japanese Navy).
Safe schools? When I was in grade school several centuries ago, school was safe, period. None of this idiotic crap went on. Mass murders and serial killers were an aberration, and still are, but now the means of doing those things is vilified, not the person who did it UNLESS he/she is ex-military.
So just how long do any of you think it will be until the US is seen as an easy target? Personally, I think we’re getting closer and closer to it.