Bare necessities? Bears tore into MRE packets at a military supply room
A military base in Alaska recently discovered that MREs are not safe from bears. Military personnel contacted the Wildlife Conservation Law Enforcement Office, a.k.a. “JBER,” to report the incident. When law enforcement arrived at the scene, they saw evidence of the bear snack-fest. They found packages torn into and opened MREs across the floor.
From CNN:
In modern times, the US military stockpiles “Meals Ready to Eat” (MREs), full meals that can be consumed with the convenience of just tearing open a bag, to sustain troops in the field.
And in Alaska recently, MREs have found new fans: Hungry bears who broke into a storage room at Joint Base Elmendorf-Richardson to feast on the military rations.
On October 28, personnel with the JBER — often pronounced, fittingly, as “J-Bear” — Wildlife Conservation Law Enforcement Office responded to reports of a bear in a storage room on base. Upon arriving at the scene, they found the room had been the site of a bruin snackfest, with a mess of open food packaging scattered about, according to a statement from the base.
Images sent to CNN by the base showed open MREs strewn across the floor, though it is unclear what flavors they were. Bears apparently indulged their sweet tooth, too, with an open packet of M&Ms visible in the mess.
But bear requirements and human ones are way different. An average human needs between 1,600 and 3,000 calories a day. A bear needs 10 times that amount.
An average MRE contains around 1,250 calories, though cold weather MREs — which the bears appeared to have gotten into — have slightly more than 1,540 calories, according to the Defense Logistics Agency.
But bears aren’t only targeting food on the base near Anchorage.
Additional Reading:
Yee, I. (2024, November 22). Bears find a buffet of battlefield rations at Alaska military base. CNN. Link.
Category: Army, Army News, National Guard
Bet they couldn’t poop for a month.
That first poop after hibernation.
Thats what soft, fluffy rabbits are for
No, a bear does NOT shit in the woods. At least not for a while.
Does he need to do the left cheek sneak on a e-tool?
This puts to question the old saying, “Does a bear shit in the woods?” Not around JBER they don’t.
And if they wanted to track them-thar Bears, I’m sure they could be heard farting from at least a half mile away!
Dammit thebesig, now I’m gonna have that damn song stuck in my head all day! Thanks for the earworm!
Got a buddy at J-bear, gonna have to give him some shit about this..
Baloo’s voice running through your head isn’t the worst possible outcome.
Also not the best… but ahh well, what’s done is done..
Coulda been worse, coulda been “It’s a Small, Small World”. Oh, oops, my bad…heh, heh, heh.
🤬 🤬
Funny.
Back in 1984 I was sleeping in a ruck sack flop during a break on patrol…racoons got into my shut/strapped ruck and took out both of two MREs I had and ate every component, even the gum–all without waking me. The worst was going without two meals. The best was going without two first generation MREs.
Dehydrated pork patties…
They worked better as brillo pads than food..
That was the very first MRE I ever ate. Almost made me quit basic training.
Fortunately, I never ate an MRE. Why the Army went to those instead of the dehydrated LRRP rations is unfathomable. Those meals were mostly delicious. Oregon Freeze Dried Foods still makes and sells some of them to backpackers. Plus, they are relatively light weight, as opposed to a case of C-rats. In rifle companies in RVN, we were each issued a case of 12 meals per man before we were sent to the bush. Most of us just selected just 8 or 9 meals and left the rest, like the ham-n-mfers.
I should add that those LRRP rats were so popular that my Ranger company supply sgt. was able to trade four cases of them for three pallets of 60mm mortar ammo for the 60mm mortar we inherited from the 1st Recon Bn. He got about $20K worth HE, WP, and illumination rounds we used on a mini fire base we secured north of Da Nang.
Here’s a stroll down memory lane:
8970-926-9222 LRRP Ration*
7360-272-2485 Mountain Cook Set, Field
* Menus were: Beef Hash, Beef&Rice, Beef Stew, Chicken&Rice, Chicken Stew, Chili Con Carne, Pork&Scalloped Potatoes, Spaghetti w/Meat Sauce.
Accessory packs included: Two Instant Coffees, Coffee Creamer, Sugar, Candy Coated Gum (Two pieces), Compressed Fruit Bar/Tropical Bar, Toilet Paper, Cardboard Matches, Cigarettes (Four to a pack, shit-canned in 1975)
Chili was my favorite.
I only ever had two LRRPs, Chicken and Rice and Chili Con Carne…the Chile Con Carne was fantastic! My favorite 2nd gen MRE was Ham Slices (Frankfurters coming in close second). The wieners came with peanut butter in the accessory pack, so had to trade for cheese. Both those meals were great with the meat and cheese layered between the crackers–big crunchy sandwich.
My favorite C ration was Green Eggs and Ham (I know I’m in the minority, which made trades easy). I still dream about John Wayne bars…
In the RVN we received boxes of tropical chocolate bars. That was what we called John Wayne bars. They were made so they wouldn’t melt from the heat. It was like eating a block of cocoa flavored wax. They were truly almost inedible. I never saw anyone eat a whole one. Those round candy bars in the C-rats were almost as bad, but a good source of sugar.
The C rat crackers were far better than
today’s Saltines.
The yellow cake with a frosted top was my favorite. I had two young boys come to my post regularly. I would trade the cake for a fresh coconut or pineapple. Sometimes they would get me a coke-a-cola in a sandwich bag.
Has anyone ever successfully used C-Rat or MRE issued toilet paper to wipe their ass?
As a side note, Hack Stone was stationed at the port located at Al Jubail, not to be confused with musician Al Jarret, during Desert Shield. Apparently some GI somewhere in the sandbox was bitching to a reporter that they did not have toilet paper. This was unbeknownst to Hack and his cohorts, because we did not get whatever newspaper Private Shitinhiscammies bitched to, but Hack’s sister must have read it, because a few weeks later Hack received a humongous box from her, containing, yes, toilet paper. Hack didn’t get through much of that shit paper, mostly because the food the provided us made us not to shit on a regular basis, and at the end of October 1990, Hack was sent back to 29 Stumps for 2861 school.
“Has anyone ever successfully used C-Rat or MRE issued toilet paper to wipe their ass?”
No. But I have successfully used that tiny piece of TP to clean out under my fingernails after using my fingers to wipe my butt….
(Note: this is not true. But it could be.)
Yes, I did– dug a cathole with my e-tool, too– to set an example and be Hooah! because our post CG ordered us to do that in the field.
Using three cheap-ass sheets (which seemed the thing to do) worked pretty well to wipe. (Had a simple plain regular turd under textbook field conditions– the squirts or dingleberries and/or while raining would’ve required more than one pack or so, mind you.)
No one wanted to take the chili to the bush because it took forever for the beans to rehydrate, especially without hot water. It was only enjoyable cold if you liked crunchy beans. The chicken & rice was my favorite. It was tasty at room temp. The spaghetti was also quite popular.
That’s why I listed that Mountain Field Cooking set. It was basically two small one quart pots and a frying pan specifically designed to heat water with a can of sterno/peanut butter or a heat tab for rehydration purposes.
But on LRRP patrols we could not heat our rations because the smell could give away our presence. So no heat tabs.
Did you guys get that grotesque ‘ formaldehyde bread ‘ ?
I wonder what their favorite was? I see many content creators on YT discuss in great detail what is the best MRE.
The only correct answer is spaghetti. Stuff the main and the cheese in the sleeve with the heater. While that’s cooking, smash up the crackers in the still sealed packet,then tear that open get the hot sauce out and crack open the bottle, tear off the corner of the salt packet so I could get just the right amount added. When everything is done heating, get out the knife, cut the main along the long side and dump everything in and mix. After eating, get out the M&Ms and woof those down.
True that.
Back in the day, chicken a la king was my fav..
Chicken Elvis was roundly reviled by all.
Yep, that’s why I never had trouble trading for it.. (I also carried a bottle of Tabasco acquired from the chow hall)
Tabasco. Do you still put it on everything? Oh wait, that’s Frank’s red hot.
Yeah, guys at my station used to mark on the calendar if I went a whole day without using it.. those days were rare..
Just finisned Menu 5, chicken chunks from the A case and Sis took 6 meals from A&B cases. No more Hurricanes so using them up.
Did you wash your hands first?
When I was a weekend warrior, someone left 3-4 cases of MREs in the back of the S3 Deuce when we got back to the armory after road tripping back from Camp Atterbury. When we came back the next month, the mess of MRE trash and racoon shit in the back of that truck and all over the rolled GP Medium tent that was also in there was beyond disgusting.
Had a 1SG tell me he was at NTC and sat and watched a crow tear open a MRE, pull out the accessory packet, toss it aside, then pull out the main, rip open the cardboard sleeve, pull out the main and fly off with it.
Crow knows what’s inside.
At least C rats came in metal cans.
We had C’s onboard but an ExLax bar should have been taped to the Ham&Motherfuker cans. We used them back in the NYARNG when I served from 1975-1977. 11B20
Imma just drop this here….
I hope it was a couple of pallets of this….
Meal No 4, Veggie Omelet [aka ‘Vomlet’, Vomit omelet] was:
a) a fucking war crime
b) the meal that took over for Country Captain Chicken
c) the reason Iraq asked us to leave
d) a way for the DoD to ruin retention
e) all the above
I miss Country Captain Chicken. It was a curry slurry with almond slivers and currants. I liked it. It was better before they started the mechanically formed chicken patty nonsense (which effected all the patty meals).
Also the meal had a crap ton of calories, cheese spread, crackers, M&Ms…
Edit: this guy’s channel is good –
Steve ate a British 2nd Boer War ration from 1900. It was beef ‘ pemmican ‘ and chocolate.
That blew my mind. Eating a cow that was slaughtered in the end of the 19th century, when Queen Victoria was still on the throne.
Speaking of thrones……Steve must have been sitting on the can for at least 48 hours after enjoying his tinned Victorian snack
Steve actually ate a piece of authentic Civil War hardtack in one of his videos. Said it tasted like moth balls.
How did he know what moth balls taste like? The world may never know.
I don’t know. I have been served pulled pork that tasted like a musty dishrag, despite never actually tasting one.
The smell of mothballs reminds me of the local Korean owned corner store when I was growing up.
“Poodles with Noodles” is what we called it, that and the Corned Beef Hash were the ones I liked.
That’s bio warfare right there
What’s worse is it looks like it has a PCS moving tag attached to it. /s/
Whatever floats their boat. /sarc
The Career Retention NCO for the base administered ASVAB test for the bruins, and they did score significantly higher than the average bear. The US Military currently has a goal improving diversity among bear enlistments by recruiting Black and Brown Bears, but Polar (White) Bears need not apply, as General Milley is still trying to figure out their rage.
It’s the Bi-Polar bear that has Milley confused.
Dat’s a good one.
Mark prefers the company of ‘bears’, not the ursine-type.
Love it!
I think Milley IS a bi-polar bear…
You do realize that now that the bears have discovered MRE’s, the GI’s on base will be trading MRE’s for fruits and berries that the bears have collected, and you just know that one GI will exchange his MRE for a little “something-something” with one of the females. Which will lead to them getting married, which will lead the commissary to install a stream containing fresh salmon. Prove Hack wrong.
I guess rat fucking MREs isn’t just the refuge of greedy asshole behavior found in humans.
Hopefully the pomegranate rip its were unharmed.
Just the facts, Maam –
8970-01-467-1753 Meal, Cold Weather (Menu 1-12)
MORE*
8970-01-581-2505 MORE – High Altitude/Cold Weather
8970-01-599-4327 MORE – Hot Weather
*Modular Operational Rations Enhancement (Goodies Pack)
Yogi, BooBoo, and The Park Ranger were unavailable for comment. No picnic baskets were found!
You mean “pic-a-nic” baskets, don’t you, King?
Yep! Damn auto corrupt foiled me…again!, CW. Was monitoring the net, riding down the road, on my mobile phone. It was a speed limit + mph ride straight down the Big Road from Central God’s Country to Flur-Ruh-Duh so there was that going for me. Had me a driver and a big jump on the 80+- million other folks that’s going to be traveling this week. Plenty of “Police Protection” the whole way. Them boys were doing a land office business with their “Blue Light Specials”.
Happy and safe Thanksgiving to you and yours, my good friend.
And to you and yours, Good Sir Friend! ’bout caught up the spoiling the kids and will spend today shoring up the dinner table for the bountiful feast that it will have to hold. ‘stead of a Macy’s Day Parade, I will look forward to the parade of Soccer Mom’s coming by to give The Grand Papa a hug and enjoy the feastivities.(sic)
Friday will be a return trip travel day so it will on into the late afternoon to early evening before I’ll be able to check this week’s Trivia Column on the WOT. Hoping I get a jump on the folks heading out and will dodge the majority of the traffic.
Well the Base will now have to grin and Bear it over the loss of their MRE’S
There will now be a lot of angry, constipated bears running around.
🤣
True enough.
OK Quick story about Alaska and the Military and BEEAARRRZZZZ.
I was working the flight Kitchen at Elmendorf in Aug/Sept of 1999. I was sitting in the break room watching TV when we heard a hugh BOOM/CRASH!! and screaming…I thought a car had run into the building (“like the time I was at NAS Norfolk but that’s another story. Hey nice MSM”) but then I hear “RUUNNNNNN!!” and a couple of civilians and AD Airmen who were in the kitchen ran past us at top speed…it took us a second to see that they were NOT kidding or pranking us so we up assed it and went out the door right behind them…..in the parking lot, the guy was aready on the phone calling SPs.
SP and Animal Control came and pulled Yogi out of the flight kirchen…. he had just said “sniff sniff, YUM!!!” and just broke down the screen door in the back after waddling out of the woods and across the open area next to the flightline.
Good timezzz good timesszz.
Did he have a meal card or did he have to pay?
Didn’t they learn anything from Tremors 2?
I’ve seen plenty of MREs ravaged by pigs in Germany (yay, Hohenfels!), and a lot of MRE trash left by crows out in the Box at NTC but never a bear tearing into one. And I’m good with that.
Not me, but i had a guy tell me about spreading some MRE scraps around a certain asshole SSG while he was sleeping in the training area and his reaction to waking up to those things snorting around him. I only ever saw those boars once at a distance through NVGs. I swear they were moving in a wedge across an open field.
I only ever saw those boars once at a distance through NVGs. I swear they were moving in a wedge across an open field.
Yeah, they can get pretty aggressive when Last Call is announced at the Enlisted Club. No more lonely nights.
Unfortunately I got stationed in Germany after 9/11, so no more horny German women packing the on post clubs on a Friday night.
Had to feed a sheep MREs crackers during the day (had nightshift, was trying to sleep) to get him to stop “Baaah!”-ing at me and go away in the field at Tauberbischofsheim. He knew we had food, wouldn’t get out of the tent until I fed him and I was tired. Hope that blocked him up for a week.
What the fuck are MREs?
*grin*
You swab jockeys always got three hots and a cot, or a bunk.
Ditto with the Air Farce!
At Paramaribo the closest ATM was about 8 C-130 hours away, however, we few Chair Farce types still traded the few Uncle Sammy Dollars we had for the food that KLM was putting on the airplane. After a month or so of MRE’s, airplane food tasted great. The Army types were content with their MRE’s; although, a few soldiers were seen adding their 2 cents to the daily get us something to eat collection.
Four. You forgot midrats.
You sailors were certainly well fed. I was impressed with the quality of the chow in the officers’ mess at Little Creek, Va., when my SF ODA went through the USMC Amphibious Reconnaissance Course.
This one came up as an anniversary post on Hack’s Fakebook page.
A message was sent by a bear who called himself Hogie, or Yogie, stating;
“Jesus! You people actually eat this shit? I’m sticking with pic-a-nic baskets from now on!”