Well, This Should Be An Easy Case
The other day, an individual appeared in court in Colorado. He was at a hearing to consider whether he’d violated bond conditions imposed after he was arrested on a drug charge.
He was holding his hat, which he’d removed, behind him. However, as he was standing there officers noticed that a small paper packet had fallen to the floor behind him.
The packet was confiscated by police. It was found to contain cocaine. And a review of surveillance film showed that the packet had fallen out of the hat he was holding behind him while in court.
The man is now facing additional charges of felony drug possession violation.
Oh, did I mention that the guy in question is in the US illegally? Well, yeah – he is.
Fox News has more details if you’re interested.
Believe it or not, stupid stuff like this does occasionally happen. I once had one of my soldiers drop a packet of drugs on the floor after CID had asked to question him. The guy was in the process of taking his ID out of his wallet – and the packet fell out of his wallet and landed on the floor in plain sight of multiple people, including the CID agents waiting to question him. Reading the resulting ROI was a hoot.
Criminals aren’t often the “sharpest knife in the drawer”.
Category: Politics
If they weren’t brain-damaged before the drugs, they certainly are after.
“Stupid Criminals” is such an over-populated category.
Stupid (stoopid) Criminals is a redundancy.
WAIT, isn’t he just “Doing the jobs no American wants to do” like being a dope dealer?
One of my Airman was partying off Base on a three day weekend when they ran low on beer. As the sale of alcohol on Sunday was verboten in town. He volunteered to drive to the Shoppete to restock the party. He approached the Gate and as it was a Sunday they were checking IDs. He put the beer he’d been drinking between his legs while he fished out his ID card. Needless to say this raised the eyebrows of the young SP on duty.
That being a kinder gentler Air Force when we all went in to see the Sqdn CC, he through the LOR across the table at my stellar troop. And told him he was getting off easy. He said if myself and the flight supe hadn’t gone to bat for him. He’d be staring at an Article 15 instead.
Neither myself or my supe ahd spoken to the Commander or the shirt about the dumb asses DUI. The boss was trying to make us look like the good guys.
He was one of the two Sqdn CCs I had over the years that started as Marines.
Bergdahl’s should have been easy too but he’s walking. Ok, he did get a dishonorable, if he doesn’t get it reversed.
I remember the blogger Law Dog talking about how nervous he was at the beginning of his law enforcement career at facing off against criminal masterminds. And then he found that he was spending more time arresting idiots.
I once had a less-than-stellar Soldier standing before a court-martial for multiple drug and domestic violence charges. When asked if he had anything to say before sentence was passed, he said ” I don’t think I should have been charged with cocaine use because I didn’t know it was in the marijuana when I smoked it”. You can’t make this shit up.
Not a law thing but similar. Security inspection in a comm center. Inspector sees that SP4 Snuffy was on the safe access list. He asks Snuffy “you have access to the safe?” Yes sir. Open it please. Snuffy pulls his wallet out and flops a piece of paper on the safe that has the combos to many comm center safes on it and proceeds to open referring to his cheat sheet.
I had to restrain the CW2 Crypto Warrant.
My favorite story about stuff like this goes back to the Manhattan Project and Richard Feynman’s safe-cracking. If you’ve never heard the story, there’s a chapter in his biography about it, and here’s a short write-up with some of the details:
http://nowiknow.com/why-stealing-americas-nuclear-secrets-was-easy-as-pi/
Basically, he opened safes and locks protecting nuclear secrets because they weren’t terribly secure. You know, nothing too important.
If you have an hour, here’s a full talk he gives about it:
It’s something about ‘not the brightest bulb in the bin….’
How about simply cracked and useless bulb?
Not only are they usually not the brightest candle on the menorah, they normally put more work into low-level crime than they would have put into getting educated and getting a job that would have paid ’em much more. Seems like an incredible number of them are from the dried out puddle that slopped from the shallow end of the gene pool.
I have many stories about dumb criminals from my time as a cop. One of my favorites, we stopped a guy that was on searchable probation, pat him down, find a bag of crank in his pocket and he claimed that in his rush to get out of the house, he must have inadvertently put his girlfriends pants on.
My first FTO told me “we don’t catch the smart crooks, but the jail is always full”
I had a similar experience with a POG assigned to my company in the Viet of the Nam. Many expensive items, cameras, etc., were disappearing from people’s wall and foot lockers. For some reason, a recently assigned company clerk was suspected. When we went to inspect and search his space, he dropped a crumpled piece of newspaper next to his bunk. I saw him drop it and I picked it up. I found a small plastic container of China White wrapped in it. We also found a stolen camera hidden in the bottom of his wall locker. The next time I saw him was in the Da Nang stockade when I convinced him to take the admin General Discharge he was being offered instead of a court martial.
A complete ass of an E5 was on restriction for doing something stupid though I don’t recall what. He was supposed to report to the CQ at various intervals to prove he wasn’t leaving the barracks.
When he missed his allotted time, young Specialist Ncat, the ACQ, was sent by the CQ to check on him. He was passed out drunk with the company CO’s missing computer in plain sight on his desk.
For a second I thought you were talking about this video.
I was an NG MP for a bit and was working at an access gate on a military base back in 2002. The units on post were directed to send us soldiers to augment our ranks and assist with vehicle searches.
One night we had a soldier from an infantry unit talking on the to someone. He was placing an order for drugs to be delivered.
We were all astounded at his lack of intelligence, and promptly started writing down information about time and place for the transaction.
Fun times were had by all.