Veterans’ Day from Mike Royko
My first Veterans’ Day after I left the military, in 1993, (I was actually on terminal leave at the time) was spent working as a security guard on a construction site…I was working full time while I attended college full time. I happened to pick up a newspaper on the way to work and it contained a column by the late and great Mike Royko (1932 – 1997) on veterans and I always remembered his sage words.
Royko was a Chicago columnist and another famous Chicagoan, Matt Burden (Blackfive) remembers Royko’s column.
I just phoned six friends and asked them what they will be doing on Monday.
They all said the same thing: working.
Me, too.
There is something else we share. We are all military veterans.
And there is a third thing we have in common. We are not employees of the federal government, state government, county government, municipal government, the Postal Service, the courts, banks, or S & Ls, and we don’t teach school.
If we did, we would be among the many millions of people who will spend Monday goofing off.
Which is why it is about time Congress revised the ridiculous terms of Veterans Day as a national holiday.
The purpose of Veterans Day is to honor all veterans.
So how does this country honor them?
By letting the veterans, the majority of whom work in the private sector, spend the day at their jobs so they can pay taxes that permit millions of non-veterans to get paid for doing nothing.
As my friend Harry put it:
“First I went through basic training. Then infantry school. Then I got on a crowded, stinking troop ship that took 23 days to get from San Francisco to Japan. We went through a storm that had 90 percent of the guys on the ship throwing up for a week.
“Then I rode a beat-up transport plane from Japan to Korea, and it almost went down in the drink. I think the pilot was drunk.
“When I got to Korea, I was lucky. The war ended seven months after I got there, and I didn’t kill anybody and nobody killed me.
“But it was still a miserable experience. Then when my tour was over, I got on another troop ship and it took 21 stinking days to cross the Pacific.
“When I got home on leave, one of the older guys at the neighborhood bar — he was a World War II vet — told me I was a —-head because we didn’t win, we only got a tie.
“So now on Veterans Day I get up in the morning and go down to the office and work.
“You know what my nephew does? He sleeps in. That’s because he works for the state.
“And do you know what he did during the Vietnam War? He ducked the draft by getting a job teaching at an inner-city school.
“Now, is that a raw deal or what?”
Of course that’s a raw deal. So I propose that the members of Congress revise Veterans Day to provide the following:
– All veterans — and only veterans — should have the day off from work. It doesn’t matter if they were combat heroes or stateside clerk-typists.
Anybody who went through basic training and was awakened before dawn by a red-neck drill sergeant who bellowed: “Drop your whatsis and grab your socks and fall out on the road,” is entitled.
– Those veterans who wish to march in parades, make speeches or listen to speeches can do so. But for those who don’t, all local gambling laws should be suspended for the day to permit vets to gather in taverns, pull a couple of tables together and spend the day playing poker, blackjack, craps, drinking and telling lewd lies about lewd experiences with lewd women. All bar prices should be rolled back to enlisted men’s club prices, Officers can pay the going rate, the stiffs.
– All anti-smoking laws will be suspended for Veterans Day. The same hold for all misdemeanor laws pertaining to disorderly conduct, non-felonious brawling, leering, gawking and any other gross and disgusting public behavior that does not harm another individual.
– It will be a treasonable offense for any spouse or live-in girlfriend (or boyfriend, if it applies) to utter the dreaded words: “What time will you be home tonight?”
– Anyone caught posing as a veteran will be required to eat a triple portion of chipped beef on toast, with Spam on the side, and spend the day watching a chaplain present a color-slide presentation on the horrors of VD.
– Regardless of how high his office, no politician who had the opportunity to serve in the military, but didn’t, will be allowed to make a patriotic speech, appear on TV, or poke his nose out of his office for the entire day.
Any politician who defies this ban will be required to spend 12 hours wearing headphones and listening to tapes of President Clinton explaining his deferments.
Now, deal the cards and pass the tequila.
– Mike Royko
Category: Veterans Issues
Mike Royko was proof that even good folks can live in Chicago.
Hooyah!
“All anti-smoking laws will be suspended for Veterans Day. The same hold for all misdemeanor laws pertaining to disorderly conduct, non-felonious brawling, leering, gawking and any other gross and disgusting public behavior that does not harm another individual.”
AWWW, C’MON, can’t each of us stomp on AT LEAST a dozen hippies?
Stomping hippies doesn’t become a felony until the number stomped exceeds 48. In most states.
*lacing up steel toe boots*
Hmmmmm … change hippies to Antifa zealots and I’m all in, baby!!!!
Oh, is there a difference?
Yeah, hippies are generally overly hairy and stink of weed, BO, and patchouli oil. Antifa weenies just look like fascist/commmie anarchists.
Guess I need to work on my field identification so that the game warden doesn’t ding me, then.
MEH, I wouldn’t worry about that, BOTH are officially considered to be “Nuisance Species”, so HAVE YOURSELF A BALL, OPEN SEASON, NO LIMIT in most Jurisdictions!
Maryland still sets the limit at 12 but we’re hoping the fact we have a Republican governor helps change this.
No argument with Royko’s assessment. Spot on.
Only thing I would add is that it would become against the law for any member of the military to be ordered to participate in a parade. Or be “volunteered” to be there. “Whaddaya mean I have to spit shine everything to go walk for several miles to honor myself?”
You mean being “Voluntold”?
It will be a war zone at Golden Corral with all the posers lining up. My “Coast Guard Vietnam Vet” neighbor will be up front. I’ve mentioned him before. Barely left the county, much less country, and only lasted a year or so. He says the VA says he is a VN vet. He forgets the “era” part of that.
GC has to rent a trailer just to have enough coat hooks to hang all the motorcycle vests.
Oh yes. He has one. And a doo rag. No dog though.
All good, but I would pose as a poser to get a triple helping of chipped beef on toast with a side of spam. I like that stuff.
I used to go to the Walter Reed messhall every Saturday morning to get my SOS on a biscuit with reconstituted powdered eggs. SOS for breakfast kept me in the Army. And free coffee.
Jonn, an “SOS” recipe for you.
Reconstituted powdered eggs? I got nothin’.
You’re a better man than me, Gunga Din. 😉
(In keeping with the USMC B’Day)
S.O.S. Receipe – USMC Style
Ingredients:
1 1/2 pounds ground chuck
2 tbls butter
1 cup cut chopped onion
1-2 garlic cloves mashed
2 tbls flour
2 tsps soy sauce
1 tbls Worcestershire sauce
2 cups milk
salt & pepper to taste
Directions:
Brown meat, add oleo & stir
Add onions & cook until the are translucent
Add flour, stir & cook 2-3 minutes
Add garlic,soy sauce & Worcestershire sauce
Mix throughly
Add milk and stir until it thickens
Serve on a shingle (toast) or biscuit
Stouffers makes a passable version. In the freezer section. But they don’t call it SOS. They should. They’d sell more.
I had some. Its good but it doesn’t have the love that only a mess cook can give it at 3:00 am.
A lot of magic did happen at 3:00
,
Sj: I remembered in a previous thread you mentioned Stouffers frozen “SOS”. Took your advice and bought several of them. LOVE IT, especially on Pepperage Farms Puffed Pastries instead of toast. Thank You. So much easier to heat in the microwave instead of making it homemade. I do miss the Army Messhall SOS. And the Pork Chow Mein. In fact, I miss alot of Army food in Garrison. Fort Lee does well in spitting out Army cooks.
I think that might have been me bringing that up, it’s pretty good for not being cooked in cast iron, add a little pepper and it’s good to go. oh and no shingle required ^_^
Aysel: Apology to you from me about the SOS from Stoffers. Thank YOU for addressing it. Love it now that we have been introduced to it. 😊
The food in the mess hall at WRAMC was good and so was the coffee. My office was less than 100 feet from the mess hall and made me look forward to going to work. That was in the original building. The new building was built after my shift and I have no recollection of having eaten there though I was eligible.
Come to think of it, the food at Ft. Harrison was pretty decent, too.
I love Spam. I remember going to the range at Ft Drum and the cooks would make sack lunches that had two Spam Sandwiches with lettuce tomato. Good eating. Whats not to love about SOS.
I normally don’t care for SPAM now since I grew up eating it, but do love SPAM Musabi. I could eat that stuff all day. 🤗
And I thought I was the only one! I only stopped eating chipped beef when it got too expensive. You can have my share of SPAM. I grew up on that stuff.
What I got in the Army for SOS was creamed hamburger, not chipped beef, and I liked it too.
We kinda looked forward to the cooks making it with creamed burger. What we didn’t look forward to was the first pot of coffee at 0300, it was instant. We’d wait til the big pot got half done to get some real coffee.
SOS was OK, but it was damn hard to beat a couple of ‘Barney Clark’ sliders during midrats aboard ship after debriefing following a night flight.
‘Barney Clark’ slider: greasy Navy cheeseburger topped with a fried egg and mayonnaise.
Note: Barney Clark was the first recipient of an artificial heart.
Wow. That really takes me back.
I remember that column. Royko never failed to hit the nail hard and dead center.
Good times.
Thanks for posting that, Jonn.
Ditto, Ex-PH2. Ditto.
Monday is “take a veteran to the casino” day for me.
Been tradition for almost 20 years with my non-vet buddy.
He’s a Letter Carrier at the USPS and every Veteran’s Day we head up to a local casino to play video keno, drink coffee and swap lies. Good times.
I believe I recall Matt of the BlackFive posting this.
Reads as well now, as it did then, by cracky.
“Cracky” … practicing my geezer-speak. Or, would that be Geezerese?
😛
It’s authentic frontier gibberish
You tellum Gabby
Dagnabbit, it’s a Senior Soliloquy, geezer speak is for the dim-witted…and it’s not right to pick on them.
One of my most memorable army meals was SOS and powdered eggs served piping hot out of a mermite on a 20 below morning in Korea at the end of a 10 day FTX. There was even enough for seconds. Heaven
I hope all of you have a wonderful Veterans Day. You have earned, and deserve, only the very best.
I was thinking the other day that as a kid, every adult male I knew was a veteran. One man I knew was on crutches from Polio, but he contracted it as an adult after he served. My male teachers up into college were vets. One was a Marine who fought on Iwo Jima, another bomber pilot and still another was a signal corp combat photographer. Everybody was a Vet, today we are one of the smallest minorities in the nation.
That if why the Dhimmicrats don’t care about our vote. They are only interested in larger groups, except for LGBQWERTY gang.
“is,” dammit.
In the 1950’s, up and down the streets of our neighborhood all the kids knew in which branch everyone served, and often in which theater. And everyone knew into which branch they would go when they were old enough… some few of us had a school or vocation plan but everyone had a service goal. In the city, Chicago, where my grandmothers lived, were veterans of the “Great War,” men without sight from gas, men without limbs from shells. While all grown men were addressed as “Sir,” these men were always answered “Sir, yes, Sir.” At the picnics their songs were older fashioned and they didn’t play cards with our dads but they kicked ass at horseshoes.
I don’t know what I want to say. I’m sad at the passing of the warriors of the previous generations. I’m very grateful that we don’t have to press non-warriors into service today and that an uneasy sort of peace wraps this world today instead of strife and bloodshed. I fear that many men have lost the fierceness and determination that warriors must have, that our “it’s all good” culture that has made everything-and everyone-replaceable to a point that we have “evolved past fighting.” May God help America and the world when warriors are needed again, that He will raise them up in the hour of our need.
DOUG out
Like a former Pastor of mine said, “The ‘I’m OK, you’re OK’ thinking and political correctness are spiritual suicide.” I say the same and add that it’s social and cultural suicide as well, IMHO political correctness is merely FASCISM with a smiley face, a rainbow and unicorns instead of a Swastika.
I grew up under the tutelage and mentoring of WWI, WWII, Korea and Vietnam Vets who DID NOT teach via the “rainbows and everyone gets a trophy” philosophy, they truly gave a damn about passing on what Life and the Military gave them and I do my damnedest to pass it on to any youngster I can. Today we have the political left going full throttle doing ALL it can to infect and infest every corner of society it can with the BULLSHIT of the late 60’s, socialism, etc, and UNDO every traditional American Value they can while they label and threaten violence against any and all who dissent with their politics and agenda JUST LIKE Hitler’s SA, “The Brown Shirts” did in Nazi Germany. Politicians, especially the liberal variety, DO NOT give two hoots of a ratshit about us Vets because we DON’T blindly vote D-rat, thus they do ALL they can to placate illegal aliens, welfare flunkies and any genre they can buy votes with via tax dollars.
LOL love it
Isn’t Veteran’s Day the 11th?
Do we observe it only on weekdays so non veterans can get the day off?
Yep.
For what it’s worth, it was originally called Armistice Day in the U.S. The cease-fire accords that ended World War I went into effect on the 11th hour, of the 11th day, of the 11th month, of 1918.
The actual day is always on November 11. Some people get the preceding Friday or following Monday off if November 11 falls on a Saturday or Sunday.
Of course, GOTTA GIVE all those Civil Service Desk Jockeys who work Banker’s Hours ALL of the days off they can get!!
Perry: Hard to believe that next year it will be 100 years.
Thank you for the info.
I also have fond memories of Army coffee. The kind they made in the field. Just a big pot of water with the coffee thrown in and boiled. A day’s worth of fiber in one cup.
And warm beer. Brand didn’t matter.
Bug juice in Honduras. Kool Aid like substance to take the chlorine taste out of the water.
TINS (This Is No Shit)
The Navy also uses bug juice powder to clean the urinals aboard ship.
I am not joking.
They also use bug juice to make Scout camp water palatable to 12-year-olds.
When we went on FTX’s in Germany, we’d take ‘Cognac’ and coke with us. And, I remember the coffee, and throwing cans of C-rat ham & beans in the fire when we’d burn the C-rat boxes and watch them explode, hopefully on a new 2nd LT as he strutted past the burn pit.
My love for coffee started in the Army. And not in the chow hall. In the field when I was exhausted, I would take MRE dry coffee packet, dump it in my mouth dry, hold on to it for as long as I could (about 15 seconds) and then slug it down with water. The bitter powder woke me up and the coffee kept me up. I soon began drinking it in Garrison and I still do to this day. Thank you MRE dry coffee packet.
Spent 6 years stationed in Chicago on Recruiting duty (76-82) and was a faithful reader of Mike Royko’s column in the Chicago Sun Times. He had a talent for sticking it to corrupt politicians in Chicago and Illinois State government.
Howie Carr does a similar job in Boston.
To all of my fellow Vets: Thank you for your service. I will go down to the local microbrewery and hoist a tall cold one in your honor.
One of the local indoor shooting ranges is offering free lanes and guns for all vets tomorrow. I might mosey on down and try out some that I have not had in hand just because in America I can still do stuff like that
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My wife and I went to a free for vets dinner at the local Grange hall tonite. I paid the $10.00 for my wife with a $20.00 bill and told the ladies taking the money to keep the change. I was honored to be invited to a home cooked meal by the local ladies that struggle to keep the lights on and the place heated.
Some of the best coffee I have ever had was boiled in a pop flair parachute in a det cord can over a block of C-4, the coffee was sent ashore from one of the ships supporting BLT 2/4. Not sure witch one, probably the Iwo though.
To all veterans: A happy Veterans’ Day. Thank you for your service to this great nation.
Royko = wisdom.
Let me add my thanks here. Several of us march in our local parade honoring our vets, I kinda like uniforming up and joining them, but that damn Garand has never lost an ounce.
In keeping with the above, those who so patiently wait need to be acknowledged also. Too many times they are overlooked.
We owe them ALL an eternal debt.
Nobody mentioned Tabasco? An egg without Tabasco is unthinkable. To this day I won’t eat eggs without hot sauce. Goes great in creamed stuff, too, like SOS or clam chowder.
Happy Veterans day all, and thanks for your service, whatever form it may have taken. many have talked about knowing vets growing up, so I’ll add my story. When I joined the local volunteer fire department at 16 y/o, the first Chief I had was an Iwo Jima vet… he had some stories…
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