Yer Midweek Funny: Do NOT Try This At Home

| August 2, 2016

Here’s a stunt you do NOT want to attempt yourself.

Man encases genitals in plaster, gets stuck

Why not, you ask?  I mean, what’s wrong with making a cast of your . . . self for posterity?

Well, it’s like this.  Plaster generates additional heat as it cures.

The       dumb ass       individual doing this had already warmed the plaster to around 158 F before applying it.  That’s fairly hot to begin with – and as the plaster cured, it got considerably hotter.

As the man began to experience literal bratwurst, he attempted to remove the plaster.  Unfortunately, by that point in time the plaster was rather well hardened.  He was desperate, though – resorting to using a hammer and chisel, a saw, and even a power drill to free his trapped appendage.

He did eventually end up extricating his family jewels from their artificial stone prison.  However, as he put it, “My (groin was) so hot, I thought they would turn into charcoal.”

The individual in question is a Russian blogger who goes by the name of “Boroda Dead”.  He’s damned lucky that he doesn’t have to change his online moniker now to “Johnson Dead”.

Dolbo’yeb here apparently made a video of his ordeal, which has now reputedly gone viral.  Sorry, folks – you’ll have to search the Internet yourself to find that video if you want to watch it.  I’m not going to look for it.

Sheesh.   Looks like we once again have more proof that the Refreshments were right 25+ years ago.  But tell me:  who’d have guessed that that famous aspiring rapper “1-DMF” had relatives in Russia?

Category: "Teh Stoopid", Dumbass Bullshit, WTF?, YGBSM!!

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ChipNASA

So Idiocracy is real? Who’d a thunk it.

B Woodman

It’s supposed to be satire, not an instruction manual

Dapandico

Aspiring juggler.

SFC D

History attempts to repeat itself.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cynthia_Plaster_Caster

JimV

I hope illary doesn’t hear about this. Bill, watch out if you see her with some plaster.

Thunderstixx

Let’s hope that him cooking his own balls precludes him from reproducing…
Darwin wins again !!!

Roger in Republic

My first thought was; Man his sperm count is gonna be really, really low for a couple of months, at least.

A Proud Infidel®™

Now his nickname can be “Hot Cock”!

ex-OS2

Sigh….What the fuck is wrong with people?

Poetrooper

Hondo, when Ol’ Poe did that a few years ago his only problem was finding enough plaster.

Ahem…

Poetrooper

Oh, did I mention I used the mold to cast a bronze lamp base? It’s quite a conversation piece.

It’s a floor lamp by the way…

UpNorth

BwaHaHa. PT, you win the internetz for the day.

2/17 Air Cav

Floor lamp? Dag.

Tony180a

Hondo, true story. I had a buddy when I was going thru phase 1 of the Q course that would plug the sink with his dick and shave. There were 2 Egyptian officers in our class and the look on their faces as they hauled ass out of the old latrine at Camp Mackall was priceless.

Poetrooper

At the old 327th at Campbell in the early 60’s there was a gorgeous black female who worked the counter in the battalion area. She very much resembled this black actress of the time and by coincidence her name was Dorothy:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dorothy_Dandridge

She was the wife of one of our squad leaders, but even so, all the horny black guys were constantly hitting on her and some of the whites, too.

No one ever got anywhere with her beyond a lovely smile and a very professional business presence. She was the subject of much barracks discussion as to why she was so resistant to even the smoothest charmers.

Then we went on an operation down in Puerto Rico where the battalion set up field showers. I happened to show up in clogs, towel and soap bar just as the staff sergeant who was the beautiful woman’s husband was exiting.

To say the guy was hung would be an understatement. It was bobbing around just above his knees. A bunch of the black guys were shucking and jiving him, laughing and pointing at it. If the guy hadn’t been so dark I’m sure he would have been blushing.

Needless to say, after that operation, there was never any question why the beautiful laundry clerk was impervious to any and all propositions.

HMCS(FMF) ret.

And on that day you decided to relieve yourself off the Golden Gate Bridge, you were able to tell people that the water was cold… and deep, too!

SFC D

Had big rocks on the bottom as well!

26Limabeans

Reminds me of an old Nat King Cole song.

David

Plaster casting was supposedly popular back in the old hippie days… groupies could , shall we say, re-experience their favorite stars.

It was either Ed Sanders or the whole Fugs group that did “I Lost My Love Life to Plaster Casters”.

CC Senor

Reckon ol’ Boroda Dead is in the market for one of these? (NSFW?)

Club Manager

You think that’s dumb, I had to fire a food service worker at the NCO Club for putting his pecker into the pickle slicer. I asked him why and the guy just shrugged and said he “had an uncontrollable urge”. I also fired the pickle slicer. :>))

Poetrooper

Yeah, but back then the pickle slicer was female…

Silentium Est Aureum

Goodness gracious, great balls of fire!

AW1Ed

Immediately followed by a whole lotta shakin’ goin’ on.

Pinto Nag

Russian YouTube has everything you could possibly want in TV. The Russians are a scream — both kinds!!

Silentium Est Aureum

Even the troll song.

Granny Grunch

Oh the poor little thang…….

AW1Ed

“Why bless his heart!”

*snicker*

Flagwaver

As someone who does amateur costuming, I think he wanted a silicon mold. That’s what you use for building a pour-mold for… things. Silicon warms up a little, but it’s not enough to cause discomfort.

Isnala

I dabble in special affect make-up (slash/bullet wounds, zombie bites, etc..)
I think an alginate mold made with something like this may have been a better choice:
https://www.amazon.com/Create-Alginate-Casting-Impression-Material/dp/B007PULSRM

Well at least that’s what I use when I need to make a cast of a body part that will then be used make the silicon rubber prosthetic.

-Ish

Aysel

exactly! there are kits for this sort of thing if someone really wants to make a mold of certain body parts. and it’s not you run of the mill plaster of paris.

2/17 Air Cav

I saw a mummy once with a very small pecker.

Silentium Est Aureum

Is this a bad time to say, “IT’S SHRINKAGE!”

Ex-PH2

OH, gee whiz, when are you guys going to learn?

It ain’t the size of the equipment that counts. It’s how you use the equipment.

Dancing around singing ‘my gun’s bigger than your gun, my gun’s bigger than yours’ is kind of silly if you can’t hit the target with even faint accuracy.

OWB

Maybe next time he’ll use the lost wax method.

jarhead

Maybe the dude wanted to start a “Hot Rod” club!!?? Then again, maybe he just could not afford Viagra and needed a substitute for the evening. BTW, is his wife by chance the one with the blisters on her mouth? Just couldn’t wait until it cooled down. Wonder if there are any homos in his unit with 2nd degree facial burns?

11B-Mailclerk

That dude will be flinching every Christmas!

…Chestnuts roasting on an open fire…….