2014 Stolen Valor Tournament
Yes, it is coming up. Since our last one though we’ve had 172 people (and counting) that we busted.
Because the cabal of imbeciles is threatening our server people and everyone else involved, I am going to seed the shit myself so none of you have to face idiotic lawsuits and harassment around the country. A certain drunken skydiving clown in particular is bitching that he wants to be included, but no dice, you already lost once dull-ass.
I think it is safe to say that America’s most beloved attorney cum airplane crash technician will be a one seed. In fact, I’ll give 2:1 for him versus the field. But that’s why they play the games.
Should give me about 2 weeks to get everything set.
Category: Politics
Awww the poor drunken fool…I shall shed a tear for his absence…not really.
Ohh, this one’s gonna be good!
Will their be wright in spot for the ballot this year?
Wait, you mean Chuckles the flying Chickenshit wants to be in the tournament again? Maybe if he decided to start calling himself a CPO and stating that he was a Top Secret Navy Seal he’ll have a chance.
Does this have access to Canadian military records?
If you need a generic plane crash photo, let me know, TSO.
Generic schmneric. The flying clown (not to be confused with the skydiving one) splashed his plane crash pictures on the internet. I vote we use those.
I’m partial to Denny Chevy this year…. He brings a lot to the table!
Speaking of whom – I hear that he wrote on his FB wall that I’ve apologized to him. I sure would like a screen shot of that, but I’m blocked.
you got mail
Just emailed that screen cap to you boss….
How funny, he’s been my favorite in recent memory and on the same day I post he emerges from his hideout. Vote Chevy 2014!!
Id help with the Tourney Jonn. Finding Earheart would be easier than finding me. Besides it would be my honor!
I’m looing for a dark horse this year. At this point, not-a-lawyer has shot his load, or expended all of his fuel, whichever you prefer.
Someone may get their catheter inn a twist over that.
That just gave me an idea for a new drink.
2 parts toilet water
1 part AVGAS
a twist of catheter juice
Serve in a empty gas can
I think Sparks will try it, as long as he has a Fresca to chase it with!
Smile
Meh, I see this year’s tourney as a mere formality in crowning Daniel A. “Crash” Bernath as this year’s SV Champ!! I wonder if he’ll ever sue me along with the others?
“Mere formality”. That’s what they said last year.
sincerely
John “Faker 6” Giduck
2013 TAH Stolen Valor Weiner
(Toughest Field Evah….)
Phildo was tough. I will give you that.
Voting irregularities aside….
To say that there are a lot of dark horses in this year’s tournament would be the understatement of the year.
Lets get it on!!!!
Don’t forget William Derek Church, the Round Ranger. His sock puppet conversation and wife should make hime a one or strong two seed.
Let’s not forget ‘ol Dennis “Blobfish” Chevalier, slovenly but deadly to any cheese or jellied doughnuts in his sight!!
Chevy is making a strong last second showing.
Expect an army of sock puppets any minute to make his case.
Dick Vitale style: SVT Babbbbbbbbbbbby!
Chevy, Church, Crash Birdbrains and that phony marine shithead who apologized. Hell, through in that phony army guy with the gold teeth in Florida for a wildcard!
Top four players this year!
Please, Please, Puh-leeeeze …. do not forget to include Keith “Medium Dawg” Riley Keeton on your list, for his photo-documented mini-medal relapse. I don’t ask much, but ….
Don’t forget, Big Dawg Keeton also said he was going to provide proof and ran away.
Word.
His shitbagginess is epic!
Where will the Reverend Doctor Aaron Colyer fit in? Or will he just ride someone’s coat tails till he has a relapse?
At least a 4 seed. Mr. Flotilla Commander aka Navy Seal/Coast Guard fella is getting a #3 slot.
Birdbath vs Douche bag fake pilot is my prediction. I wish the guys from Celebrity Death match were still taking request- id love to hear their input.
Jonn had a post a couple months ago with a phone call recording followed by deputy phone call recording. That guy deserves a prominent spot. Breathless empty threats and “why cause all this trouble” deputies gotta count for something.
TSO, ive enjoyed helping seed thr tourney in the past and would love to help again. Please dont cut me out of the fun!!! Don’t make me beg
Don’t forget SGM Davis!!!
http://www.memegen.com/download/qcmhj3
What about General Baxter?
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=10242
Alas, General Baxter ran last time.
By way of information, I’ve gone through January and February, and I am at over 40 people, and not even done with February. So my plan is to post them all, and let people pick 1 person and see how close to the 64 I get that way. May have to pair it down even more.
Steve Cushman has that level of “shitbaggery” to make a deep run.
Is Timothy Poe still elegible?
come on folks, you all gotta pull for the Round Ranger to be a high seed!http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=39182
sigh, I have always backed a loosing horse in these tournaments. I thought for sure Crotchrot was going to take it last time. No dice.
You and me bro…I have the same exact track record on the SVT.
I was the biggest weiner last year. Who could beat the depth and breath of my record?
Read what former CIA analyst David Cariens wrote about me: http://thetruthaboutsocnetlies.wordpress.com/2013/06/23/more-voices-david-cariens-slams-john-giducks-va-tech-analysis/
You’ll be able to continue to enjoy me through the wonder of the Internet. I think that this internet thing will catch on at some point.
sincerely
Yep. We voted for the crock – it was important.
Two weeks? Awesome. I will definitely be in the States and will be close to getting home to my wife, kids, dogs, real food, cold beer, and a couple of pouches of Captain Black. And the Tournament to top it off….it’s like Christmas came early!
Rub it in Buddy…..at least have a cold one for me.
I see Berdbath in the top bracket.
Chedderboi may come out strong, but I think he will lose momentum in the final round
The physics involved in keeping that body in motion make momentum loss a guarantee.
Don’t forget (fake) SSgt Frank “I’m whining cuz you all didn’t believe my fake PH paperwork” Visconi, who was body-slammed in writing by the Sixth Circuit Court for lying through his teeth and making shit up.
If deceit, lies, and manufacturing fake documents counts for anything in the tournament, then Frank’s a top-notch contender.
Do not forget Korfhage and Randy Abbott who “used” the wheelchair.
That’s fucking low.
The problem this year is that one individual garnered the lion’s share of attention for reasons other than Stolen Valor alone. That fact fogs up the lens. Stay focused, my friends, and recall the immortal words of General Ballduster McSoulpatch (or was it Master Sergeant Soup Sandwich?)”Let’s dance!”
Exactly! And William Derek Church, AKA the Round Ranger, is like the Fred Astaire of posing!
And then busted out the sock puppet with tales of blood and gore and free-fall.
And then busted out the “little lady” to tell us to back off.
And then “apologized and promised to turn everything in. And didn’t.
And adorns the wall of my cube so I know daily that I have to work harder if I want to ever measure up.
Looking at his wanted poster, steely eyed killer, you can almost hear him yelling, “Follow Me!!!”
I’m not backing any particular candidate,just as long as A Proud Infidel gets to repeat the following phrase at the conclusion of the tournament: “This guy is more 8TFU than a chocolate dildo at a gay bar”. That’s what I live for.
How in the world was Tim Poe not a finalist from last year?
Poe was in the 2012 Tourney. He lost in a tough field.
He still has trouble “talking” about it, too.
Alas, The Neuticle changed his CIB plates and faded in the rankings. He probably won’t even make the field. At least he has his MC vest to keep him warm this winter.
Maybe the tourney needs an official sponsor?
Maybe something like The All-Points Logistics Ballduster McSoulpatch Tournament?
Think they will fund it with our taxpayer dollars?
Sheesh, what’s a shitbag gotta do to get some love up in here? Give a brother some love!
sincerely
John “Faker 6” Giduck
The Centre Presents: The Ballduster McSoulpatch Stolen Valor Tournament
Master of Ceremonies: Brad Thor
Security provided by: James Yeager
And maybe rename the Fecal Four to Phildo’s Four.
Out of respect, of course.
Gotta give my man “Turd” Bolling some love too.
He has the “it” factor.
And my boy here went on TV and said he “could neither confirm or deny” his SEAL status.
That’s some super-secret tough shit.
Hardcore.
Turd Bolling at Ambassador Worldwide Protection Agency is primed for a deep run.
Stat!
What about Frank Joseph Visconi, the twice wounded, bronze star recipient,a proven legal genius and Master Blowfish. Does he not rate at least an honorable mention??
I’m guessing Frankie-boi comes in at a #2 seed in one of the 4 regions, Sam K. I can’t see him falling below that, given his “vigorous” prior campaign.