You Couldn’t Make This Stuff Up
White House looks to regulate cow flatulence as part of climate agenda
Yep, you read that right – the current Administration apparently now wants to regulate freaking cow farts. What’s the penalty for a violation – the offender gets turned into hamburger?
All I’ve got to say is: YGBSM!!
Category: "Teh Stoopid", "Your Tax Dollars At Work", Global Warming
No cow can compare to what I can pollute the atmosphere with after a Friday night Happy Hour at Connick’s Corner.
Solution? National ban on Happy Hours.
Oiy Vey!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Maybe they can regulate that old gas bag Crazy Uncle Joe Biden. Every time he opens his mouth to say something stupid, which is quite often, President Obama glances over at him like he just farted.
It’s all about revenue streams. Violators will have to pay penalties if they go over their allotted amount of farting for the month/year. It will probably be based on headcount of livestock you have and some chucklehead, who has never been on a farm, will calculate what the methane emissions would be.
It has nothing to do with “climate change”, since it have been proven over and over to be junk science, but rather control and money. BTW, Algore; how are those carbon exchanges doing? Yeah, I thought so.
It’s quite simple, really. Cows eat corn. The administration wants more of the corn fed to cows used in automobile ethenol production, for their greeen agenda. So: regulate cows and their farms out of existence, use the corn for ethenol, and get everyone to be vegetarian.
Makes for more sheep, too. You understand.
Well this is just stupid on a number of levels, methane has been occurring naturally for millions of years when ruminants digest plant material. There is no stopping that process, typically the only small scale solutions have been to generate a vaccine to reduce methanogens in the rumen microbial production that has created a small scale (less than 8%) reduction in the output of methane from the breakdown of nutrients in the rumen.
Unfortunately the only real way to stop a ruminant from producing methane is to kill it…with the necessity of feeding a worldwide population it would seem unwise to voluntarily reduce the size of the herd responsible for feeding the masses to address an issue that is the natural biology of the animal in question.
Once again the president and the people in the white house who advise him have taken a look at the issue and completely misunderstood what they were looking at.
We are supposedly one of the smartest technological societies on the planet, it would be a refreshing change to suddenly start seeing our politicians act as if they understood that, as well as the simple biology of the ruminant digestive process as taught to most high school biology students.
I should have pointed out that some studies have been done to compare the increase in oil and fat(high protein plant materials) in the diets of ruminants with the accompanying decrease in methane.
These studies have been promising, but my suspicion is that feeding animals too much of something they were never evolved to eat naturally brings its’ own inherent risk to the process…
Beano for bovines!
And the fact that said cattle when used for meat become rather unappetizing.
This will of course not affect El Presidente Oblammo and his never-ending hunger for $150/lb Waygu steaks.
Remember, sacrifice is for little people!
There you go again, VOV! Confusing the argument with logic!
I do fervently desire to see the genius of President Obama as predicted by all those who were voting for him, we were told so many nice things about his superior intellect. I was concerned about his complete lack of experience and inability to introduce one piece of relevant legislation in his brief Senate career, but I was assured that was of no concern….being who I am I never voted for this man because I can’t in good conscience vote for someone with little or no practical executive experience. I have yet to see any of this intellect we were promised rise to the forefront and bedazzle me with concepts I had not heretofore considered…
Instead I see a constant stream of ill-advised half steps none of which address an actual need or represent any form of actual leadership. Unfortunately that is exactly what I was expecting from someone with so little influence and experience…what I never counted on was the blatant disregard for the obvious by the majority of the electorate.
Well VOV, it’s only natural that the annointed one would turn his attention to pretend global warming. After all, he’s rescued the economy, saved or created millions of jobs, fixed health care and of course kicked those ole Rooskies out of the Ukraine! And on Sunday, he shall rest!
I gotta go puke now. it hurt typing that much bullshit.
No surprises here. Ranchers (successful ranchers who make their entire living from their herd) tend to be tough, self-reliant, pro-gun, conservative, Christian badasses who don’t generally like to take shit (bull- or otherwise) from anybody–generally the opposite of “pussy.” I basically just described everything the Glorious Leader hates. Of course he’ll fuck with them any way he can.
90% of the pollution on this planet could be eliminated by shutting down Washington, DC and other political centers for about 20 centuries.
Then just let the rest of us get on with our business.
Are they gonig to start regulating the number of birds allowed to land and stuff themselves at my feeding station?
This is what my tax money is being wasted on. That does it. Next month, I’m going to place a big, fat, farting order for flatulent-inducing bean from http://www.northbaytrading.com/
And if the buttheads in WDC don’t like it, they can go frack themselves to death.
BULLSHIT.
This is what I get up to in the morning.
BULLSHIT
MORE SHIT
PILED HIP DEEP
Sorry, I just had to.
Can you imagine for a moment how much methane we could keep out of the environment if we could only get Dennis Chevalier to lay off the cheese!
On the serious side. If this is on the top of the President’s desk pile instead of our current military readiness…Lord help us. Although I am sure the ultra, liberals are all aglow with accolades for him, stopping those nasty cows from killing our ozone protection…one fart at a time. To say this is an inane endeavor for our President to be wasting our nation’s time and money on, is an understatement by an order of magnitude.
How many tax dollars do you estimate it will cost to set up the required monitoring regimens to determine who’s cows are farting too much and who needs to be fined? It boggles my mind!
It’s not just their farts my friend, methane is a naturally occurring byproduct of their digestive system and can be exhaled when they chew their cud. The first part of the ruminant stomach is the rumen, that’s where the bulk of the methane is produced from methanogens that are used to help break down cellulose based plant material to ferment and draw out the nutrients.
This is a bullshit deal though for all the reasons I post above, there are no simple answers for this particular situation and the benefit of having widely available animal protein to be used in products that feed the world grossly outweigh the danger from the methane.
But as with all things Obama and company there is a political position to play, consequently they will ruin the dairy industry to placate some addle pated vegetarian lefty pukes who would prefer to see people starve.
VOV, industrial strangth methane is a naturally-occurring byproduct of all digestive systems in the entire animal kingdom.
It is not only relevant to cows. What about hogs? Chickens? Buffalo? Caterpillars?
Do these people have even the faintest idea how ridiculous they are?
Yep, this is right up there with the EPA declaring CO2 is a toxic substance.
I’m still in shock that this buffoon was reelected.
I pretty much lost all faith in the electorate when he was elected the first time.
There are so many jokes here.
He did it! Bodaprez finally cut the cheese!
He who smelt it, dealt it.
It takes a gasbag to destroy an entire industry.
If you hate cows that much, don’t eat the cheese.
I would have just liked to have been on the floor when this was brought forward. How does one broach the subject of regulating farts?
Meh…shit happens.
Fart proudly! – Ben Franklin
Yes, this does raise the question as to what the punishment will be for breaking the law. A better question is, however, if PETA will get their shorts in a knot over the oppression of cows across the United States.
Possible conflict of interest there?
These people have pushed idiocy to a level of high art. Every living thing generates methane by eating things or by decomposing upon death. Screw these global warming fanatics, perhaps we can clean them out of the system during the next election cycle. I sure hope so.
And if you plugged Mooochelle “fore and aft”, how long would it take her to either float or explode? And how much methane would it reduce?