Why This Stuff Matters, Part 2
We see a lot of military fakes here at TAH. And often, it seems as if there’s simply no way of getting through to those sh!theads just how badly – and why – their false claims disturb legitimate veterans and their families.
Most of the time, for fakes the words of the Captain character from Cool Hand Luke (the prison warden played by Strother Martin) are completely apropos: “Some men you just can’t reach.”
I thought about this for a couple of days, debating whether or not to post this article. I decided to go ahead. So here I’ll try yet again to explain to those fakers why stolen valor – and especially false claims regarding the Purple Heart – is so infuriating.
Past history tells me I’m tilting at windmills. Still, here goes.
. . .
In a previous article, I highlighted a comment from TAH reader Enigma4You, Wesley Wilson. His comment regarding the Purple Heart and why those falsely claiming to have received this decoration should be ashamed of their lie is truly worthwhile reading.
Wesley’s comment is eloquent, heartfelt, and moving. And it gets the point across in a manner that only an absolute idiot could miss.
And yet, that moving and heartfelt comment only tells part of the story. It discusses the third-worst scenario regarding the award of the Purple Heart.
. . .
Wesley’s comment addresses the situation of a wounded loved one injured in combat, but who will survive. There are two scenarios that are even worse.
A worse scenario is one in which a Purple Heart is presented to the next-of-kin of someone killed in action, or who dies of wounds received in combat.
I don’t really think I need to discuss this situation. Why it’s worse should be pretty damned obvious.
And yet, IMO even that isn’t the worst scenario. In even that nightmare scenario – like the scenario of someone WIA who is now out of danger – the individual’s status is known. There is closure.
And there’s also a Purple Heart.
. . .
IMO, the worst scenario is one which today is thankfully rare. However, during some past conflicts it wasn’t.
During some past conflicts – in particular, during World War II – casualty notification was handled differently than it is today. Because of the vastly larger number of casualties, telegrams were typically used to notify the next-of-kin vice a personal visit by someone in uniform.
Telegrams were used to notify families of loved ones known to have been KIA. But those weren’t the worst casualty telegrams.
The worst such telegrams were those that began thusly: “We regret to inform you that your son, Firstname MI Lastname, is missing and presumed dead . . . .
Telegrams of this sort are not a myth or urban legend. They were indeed used during World War II – both for those KIA, and for those MIA and presumed dead. I know this because at different times, different branches of my family received each type of telegram during that conflict.
An uncle by marriage I never knew didn’t make it home from that war. His family was notified by telegram that he had been killed. He’s buried today at the National Cemetery at Gettysburg.
One of the five young men discussed here was the subject of the second type of telegram. He was grievously wounded in action during the Battle of the Bulge, nearly dying. And for a while, he was also MIA and presumed dead.
His parents – my grandparents – were notified of that horrible fact by the War Department via telegram.
In this second case, there was a reasonably happy ending. He was found alive – barely; though critically injured he recovered to live almost 48 more years, albeit with some residual disability. But for a few days, my grandparents went through what had to have been the worst hell on earth imaginable.
This action was the event for which he received his Purple Heart.
. . .
So yes, those of you falsely claiming to have received the Purple Heart: we indeed detest lying bastards such as you. This is why.
The Purple Heart is a badge of extreme honor. And it’s something no one in their right mind really wants, largely because of the impact it has on their loved ones.
Hopefully this article will penetrate your thick skulls and make an impression on the contents of your brain housing group. Maybe afterwards, you’ll “get it” – and quit being such contemptible, lying sacks of sh!t (LSoS).
I’m not holding my breath. But I guess that could happen, at least in a few cases.
Category: Reality Check
Very well said. And though you may have reached a few, there are still any number of self centered, selfish, egotistical bastards out there that your words won’t reach. Not because they didn’t read them, but because they are narcissistic assholes who care nothing for anyone else. They are only worried about building their fragile, immature egos, even if it means off the backs of those who truly earned that medal. Unfortunately that includes some veterans themselves who, as we’ve seen here any number of times, had otherwise honorable service but have some sick need to build themselves into Audie Murphys. Those, IMHO, are the worst. They know better. They know what happened to “earn” that medal and what it means to those injured and to the families of those who died. I don’t know if this is appropriate, but I couldn’t help think of the words of the character “Sphinx” from ‘Gone in 60 Seconds.’ I’ve changed one word to make it more applicable here. “If his unpleasant wounding has in some way enlightened the rest of you as to the grim finish beneath the glossy veneer of military life and inspired you to change your ways, then his injuries carry with it an inherent nobility, and a supreme glory. We should all be so fortunate. You say poor Toby? I say poor us.
The reason you can’t reach them, in most cases, is because they are sociopaths. There is no appeal to logic, emotion, or rational thought that can propel itself beyond their delusions and self-aggrandizement. They lie to themselves with the same ease that they lie to others.
Open Channel D, you mistake sociopaths with narcissists. A sociopath wouldn’t care enough to engage in faking such a thing, because the true sociopath doesn’t care about the perception you hold of them.
Faking a record, in anything, really, is the sign of a person who wants glory. An egomaniac. The actual faking is to lend credibility and prestige in some way to their life and actions. That’s why so many people begging for money tell the ‘disabled veteran’ story without having ever enlisted or served. It tugs at the heartstrings. We still live in a country that, for the most part, deeply loves and respects our veterans and our soldiers, and TRUSTS them more than any other group in the country. And THAT is what fakers desire, trust, love, and respect. And those are not something that a sociopath strives for.
@3, I agree that narcissism is at the root of this ‘need’ to wear a Purple Heart for something that never happened to the fakers. They are desperate for attention in an unhealthy way, and get it through self-aggrandisement at the expense of others.
They think it’s just a ribbon on a pin with a medal hanging from it, but if they actually had suffered what the real wounded have suffered, they’d be hiding in a closet some place, shaking in fear.
They don’t have the faintest idea what it really represents. They just want what it gets for them: attention.
Well-written and to the point.
Great article.
Green Thumb: thanks.
Just before I deployed in 2007, my spouse and I were going somewhere. By chance we happened to be driving behind a vehicle with a PH license plate.
We both saw the plate, and the car got rather quiet. And then I was told, “You don’t need to come home with one of those.”
Thankfully I didn’t.
I don’t know why anyone would want a Purple Heart. A buddy of mine has a couple. He calls them his “IMT failure ribbon”, “the I forgot to duck ribbon” and “enemy marksmanship badge”. He got pretty messed up and joking around about it is his way of dealing with it. He would gladly exchange those awards with his wounds in a heart beat.
@6 Hondo: My wife pretty much said the same thing. She told me if I came home with a Purple Heart she would kick my ass.
Hondo, you will have mail shortly
I still think most people will do good given the chance. These people lie to boost their own fragile egos. They see it as victimless. In a few cases I think that the lies are crafted to gain something other than false honor. When they get exposed they continue the lie to keep from looking like a fool.
enigma4you: understood. May be tied up for a while starting shortly, but will look for it before turning in tonight – earlier if possible.
Well said on behalf of all of us.
6, 8
Your wives are like mine was…”come home with a Purple Heart and your ass will be black, blue and purple when I am done with you…” (directed at me and my team both times I went to Iraq)
For those whose thick skulls can’t be penetrated by words of such eloquence and emotion I suggest a Louisville Slugger, it won’t necessarily penetrate the skull but it will make enough of an impact that the recipient won’t soon forget the feeling…
The same type of people who claim purple hearts are the same fuckers who tell everyone they are dying of cancer or some oter fatal disease. They seek pity, which also sets them apart from every one of the purple heart recipients I have known.
My dad shot my little brother at the shooting range a few years back. Not maliciously, just negligently. My dad understandably felt terrible about it, and insisted that I go to the PX and get my brother a Purple Heart.
I refused. He Insisted, so I finally lost my patience and ripped into him, telling him that you don’t get a Purple Heart for being stupid at a civilian shooting range in the suburbs. I know too many soldiers who have earned them for engaging an enemy who wants to kill them to even think about entertaining this stupid idea.
Neither of them liked that, but I at least hope they understood. Neither of them have tried to sneak into the base PX to buy one yet…
Hondo: Ya rattled a cage so please forgive this:
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=30079
To Hondo and Enigma4you. Thank you for this thread. When my father died in 1978 all he had in the world was contained in two old, small suit cases. He was a military retiree and served in the Army in WWII. Unfortunately, he suffered from alcoholism most of his life. When I went to collect his things I found the two suit cases and opened them. They were perfectly in order. Every item was folded and placed just like it were in a foot locker. Daddy was always that way about his appearance and belongings. In one suit case I found an old Purple Heart case and medal under his clothes. In his few papers in an old, brown military folder, was his Citation. Perhaps my mother knew about it but none of us kids ever did. I still have those two suitcases. I put the medal back where he had it and closed the suit cases. I haven’t opened them since. They have stayed with me through my travels all these years. Though my son, never met him, someday I will pass it on to him to keep, honor…and remember. Thank you again for this thread.
Sparks, we didn’t know that my grandfather earned a Purple Heart in WWII until after his death and we were cleaning his stuff out. He never once spoke about the war.
No need to apologize, Zero. You said much the same thing in that article, just a bit more succinctly.
Twist: my impression is that was fairly common among World War II vets.
I remember hearing my uncle who served in the 82nd (and who had both a Purple Heart and the Silver Star) talk about his decorations precisely once. That was after some low-life bastards broke into his apartment, ransacked the place, and stole some stuff – including his original medals and citations.
I don’t think he much cared all that much about the hardware. But he seemed kinda pissed that they took his citations. If I recall what he told me correctly, his Silver Star citation was signed by a fella nicknamed “Old Iron Tits” – Matt Ridgeway.
@17 Twist Same for me. I never remember my father talking about the war at all. When I was a kid the old TV show “The Gallant Men” was on I was a little fella who ran through the woods with my friends playing “Army”. Americans and Germans. One day I was walking behind my father around our house thinking about it and asked, “Daddy did you ever kill anybody in the war”? The only time he ever raised he voice that I remember was his answer. He turned around and tersely said, “YES and don’t ever ask me again”! I felt so bad. I knew I had struck a nerve and the thought I had hurt him lingered a long time. For whatever else he was…he was a good and loving father.
It would seem to me that the poser’s fantasy of being a hero is a means to keep from having to take a good, hard look at their own life and accomplishments.
After all, what is Daniel Bernath be without his faked accomplishments? Just a poisionious, petty little man, a failed lawyer, pilot, and father who has to resort to lies to make a living. And who will likely die alone and unloved.
But then again, I doubt they have ever taken such a deep look at themselves. Sad.
I’m watching Alive Day Memories: Home from Iraq on HBO right now.
God damn anyone who falsely claims the Purple Heart.
No Service Member ever wants to be awarded the Purple Heart, the POW medal, and damn few actually wear the Medal of Honor. 3 awards that posers claim.
It was 44 years ago today that our family received the last Purple Heart along with a folded flag. With 5 family members currently serving,and over 20 that have served. I truly hope it will be the last.
Hondo & Enigma, THANK YOU.
My Grandpa was in WWI & WWII. My Father was one of the Chosin Few and spent two tours in Viet Nam. My Uncle also spent time in Viet Nam. I never heard their stories until after my re-enlistment and subsequent assignment in the ROK.
My Brother in Law was John Cavianni’s (MOH) commo SGT when their position was over run – the action that led to John’s MOH. None of these Soldiers/Marines ever boasted about what they did.
My blood boils when I see a poser claiming any award of Valor, the Purple Heart or special skills/quals. I’m so glad that you guys (TAH) do what you do and do it so well.
Again, THANK YOU for your eloquent posts and for busting chops on the Posers.
Charlie Mike
@25 I have my Father’s Purple Heart as well as his awards for Valor – damned dust in here…