First Round Voting, East Regional
If you’ve forgotten who you are voting for, you can read all the BIOs for the EAST REGIONAL HERE. Final Day of Voting in First Round. Results tomorrow.
NOTE: Something messed up with my youtubes, but keeping in for now. Also, DO NOT FORGET TO CLICK DONE AT END WHEN YOU VOTE.
EAST REGIONAL
1) Phillip Dale “Monkeyass” Monkress
16) Jeffrey “Don Juan” Elvington
8) Jesus Angel “Paintball SEAL” Gomez
9) Michael Douglas “The one without throat cancer from Zeta Jones” Salsa
4) John “2,200 Kills” Boudreau
13) Patrick “Kosovar Hornet’s Nest” Haub
5) Roy “Buttery Awesomeness” Antigua
12) David “Navy Colonel” Bergin
14) Richard “Disable Combat Ranger” Ruffert
6) Freedom Douglas “Corrective PT” Stansbury
11) John “Back from the Future” Collier
7) David “Gunny DumDum” Chenicek
10) John A. “Egon Spengler” Kuykendall
2) William “Balloon Head” Blake
15) James “Seal Sergeant” Ramirez
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Category: Politics
A few who if not for the utter idiocy of Phillip Monkress and his butt buddy Paul Wickre could have been contenders for the Fecal 4… alas, Monkeysfly from his ass should be the hands down winner here.
Elvington just called to forfeit
Monkress by a mile in this region.
Monkress, Monkress, Monkress
Had to go with Collier as a sleeper here. Anyone who’d make the claims he did while living next door to Fort Bragg is really “special”. Probably won’t go too far, though.
Wish Blake was in a different region. Billy-boy would IMO be a worthy Fecal Four entry, but he’s very likely not getting past Monkress in the regional final.
Got to get around to putting together that packet for the US District Attorney’s office in NW Oklahoma.
Definitely Monkress. If not him, his brown-nosed butt buddy will be SO disappointed.
And who can possibly resist GT’s personal turd compler, BillyBoy Blake? (Well, I can, but….)
Onward and upward, my friends, until you see the light!
Here it is! been waiting all week to vote for my favorite turd sandwich. Monkeyman, it’s your time!
I am hoping that the Coast Guard’s own 007 is a dark horse to advance through a few rounds….
The Coastie who was a super spy and set up his own vehicle with flashing lights and siren and showed a fake badge when being pulled over has shown some serious initiative in promoting his fakery….it’s not on the same order as deceiving the government with claims of false indian heritage and SEAL training, but it’s still a strong effort to perpetrate a lie.
The false indian thing is fairly common, the junior senator from massachusetts with the bright green eyes and distinctively WASPy look about her (so white she’s almost transparent) allowed a few universities to write her up as a woman of color….it’s a good thing this site focuses on only lies about valor, if it was lies told by politicians you’d need 1000 times the bandwidth you currently carry.
Phil Monkress (Google hit!) FTW? Or lose? Meh, fuck it. Just make sure you vote early and often. That includes you too, Paul Wickre (Google hit!)
And TSO–yeah, I’m geeked on the GBUO. A couple more of my faves:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pLgJ7pk0X-s
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NlMT-oEIQuo
Who’s that faker claiming SEAL,
While Paul sucks on his knobby grille:
PHIL! (Damn right!)
Who’s the clown who running scared
When his claims are proved not real?
PHIL! (Right on!)
Lemme tell ya, Phil’s a fake motha- (shut yo mouth!)
Hey man, I’m talkin ’bout Phil!
I am digging the toy piano turned ukelele….that kid is really getting into his version of the final countdown……
sealmonkeyass for the regional win, but dark horses include willamblake, freedomstansbury, 2200killboudreau, and my personal favorite, bergin the oizzie seal…
If one isolates Monkey’s claim from the rest of the noise associated with it, he’s not so special. Me, I have a special disdain for those who falsely claim a Purple Heart. There are too many wounded warriors and GoldStar Moms for me to EVER forgive a false PH claim. Just can’t do it.
monkey ass forever VOTE VOTE VOTE
I call that Blake and Monkeys will be the last two “men” standing in this region.
Their is some tough competition in this bracket.
Monkress obviously has the target on his back but “Punk” Golfer Lewis and “Freedom” on-the-spot correction have the shitbagginess (and names) to challenge.
Also, keep you pants up around Chenicek.
8-9 matchup between another fake MC guy and the “Meatgazer” Gomez could be a tough one as well.
I see the SF SEAL paintballer making a dark-horse run!
Phonies on this group besides Monkress need to step it up, maybe if they come here anda rant or something, if not this group is just going to be taken over completely by Monkeyboy …
For me the hard decision was hard between Collier and Standsbury, I mean Collier’s timeline was bad enough .. but had to go with the douchebagginess of having real military do corrective PT …
Phillip Dale Monkress is on a rocket to stardom, no question. He deserves a Stolen Valor Lifetime Achievement Award, provided he shares it with Paul Wickre. Like Kim Il Sung, I predict that Monkress will become the Eternal President of this glorious tournament- you wait and see.
@18 Paul(ette) Wickre is getting the Best Supporting Actress nod for this Tourney.
Nope. Nobody can make me vote for the monkeysass fool because he just isn’t special enough. Never, never, NEVER!
So there. Now everyone knows that this lone hold out vote belongs with whoever is slated opposite it.
Hmm. This was a rather odd collection of pairings. But then, no one in this tourney is anything but odd!
Monkeyass wouldn’t even be a serious contender but for two things. He made LOTS of money from embelishing an probably otherwise legit Disabled Veteran Business resume.
His buttboy Psul “Ass-fiddler” Wickre insisted on stirring up an otherwise run of the mill candidate.
I think a lot of the votes for Monkey ass are people voting for Wickre, who can’t run on his own merit,
We have a case of Stealing Stolen Valor?
Anyway Psul “crotch-crickett” Wickre needs some kind of special award this tourney. He needs to be recognized by himself, not just as a hidden minion hanging under Monkress’s flacid nutsack.
@21. Yep. Let’s face it. Paul Whathisname made Monkey. Without Paulie, Monkey is a second or third seed, at best. Without looking at the first thread for Monkey, do you know when it was posted? Raise your hand if you think it was Jan/Feb. All those for Feb/March? March/April? Okay, hands down. The first thread started here in July 2012 and was quite unremarkable. It died at least twice over the months. In fact, Monkey was outed in 2011! So what happened? Paulie, that’s what! Not only does he now have a personal thread here that is nearing 600 comments in four days (!), but the lion’s share of the comments (1800+) in the original thread are thanks to him. So, this vote—and I am quite sure it goes to Monkey, is not really his at all. It’s Paulie’s.
Kinda like that “Best Supporting Actress” category idea…
@23. Yes but the supporting role is Monkey’s!
Monkress has to be disqualified — he’s a professional in what is essentially an amateur competition.
William Blake if you had just met with GT,me or any of the other Okie Marine, William Blake you could have won the trouny. Oh, not to forget the “Root Engineers who really want very badly to talk to you. You would have been EPIC . Joe
I voted for Phillip Dale Monkress (Gooooooogle!) in his matchup, but I agree he should be removed from the competition and given his own award. I have said consistently, Monkress has proven that fair, open competition just isn’t how he shines.
“Gunny” Chenicek is a dark horse here for me. He scammed a local gun shop I shop at, ostensibly for a wounded warrior. Turd!
@21
Old Dog, the Old Sarge says you have nailed it. Couldn’t agree more.
You know … With Monkress, Ballduster McSoulPatch and all the legendaries … Jonn and TSO could get a “Pro-Bowl Stolen Valor” going no problem … because this guys are on the pro level not like the walmart dude that asked for change, they hit the 7 figures, go to political parties, etc..
The thing that makes Monkress a star is the effort he went through to belatedly sweep his lies under the rug–efforts that are notable for both their extensiveness and their sheer ineptitude. First, Monkress tries the legal route which fails and only makes it worse. Then he tries scrubbing the Internet and claiming others messed up, which only reveals a video and more scrutiny. Finally, when nothing else worked, Monkress apparently enlisted the help of one Paul Wickre to do some proverbial “dirty work.” Wickre signs on and proceeds to quickly and hilariously crap the bed. So Wickre was really just another tool (literally and figuratively) in this whole inept scheme by Monkress.
Maybe it is time to have two different tourneys – one for amateurs and another for professionals? Some of the amateurs are quite entertaining, but it’s almost not fair to them to compete against those who have bilked millions from the system, or caused serious injury to others or gotten away with their lies for decades, to say nothing of those who appear at MOH ceremonies in their fake finery.
Phil Monkress? Freedom Douchberry? Billy Boy Blake? How can you lose in this bracket!?!?! PTPers baby, Prime Time Players in this region.
Don’t forget “Punk”.
Playing the Back Nine on WWP’s dime on bullshit claims.
Not that WWP cares.
8-9 matchup.
Tough.
Those “Meat Gazing” eyes against the straight-up definition of POSER.
Until the buzzer.
Collier’s Tomb Badge is fucking low.
Tough fucking duty.
Hardest badge (outside of combat) to achieve and maintain in numbers next to the Army Astronaut Badge.
Though I did see an old timer with a Glider Badge a few years back.
Tough.
I hope Stansbury goes far, it takes a real man to make an on the spot correction to someone that outranks you, more so to a senior NCO, but doing it as a civie… that blows my freaking mind. However, I am still voting for Punk all the way. I take personal offense to his lies that bring discredit and shame on my unit. He is still playing golf and I am sure that within a year or two, he will have washed enough balls to get to the professional scene and bilked a lot of people out of a lot of money, with his awe inspiring, G.I. Joe like heroics. Unfortunately for now, he might not hold a candle to some of these other superstar’s. A guy can dream though.
I enjoyed reading these, it craps me up, I served in OIF and OEF, I was in the Marine Infantry, most of my time was uneventful combat wise, an IED and incoming mortar fire, I did drop a few mortar rounds one night but their were illumination rounds, but the only time I fire my rifle was on the zeroing range
my wife tells people I “fought” overseas, and I quickly correct her to say “well I would not say I actually FOUGHT, but I was there”
it would be so easy to embellish my hero status, it would be so easy to never wear anything but the USMC t-shirt down to the local bar and wait for someone to buy me my next beer, but its stupid to do so, I don’t understand
[Removed by the guy who pays the bills]