Chief Justice Roberts Regional – Round 2
Support Defenders of Freedom: Lost in the debacle that was the Tim Poe affair is the fact that he actually did serve honorably in Afghanistan, and really was injured there. The stories after that were his and only his. But Defenders of Freedom should not bear the fault for Poe expanding on his record, and they won’t again. This week I will be honoring DoF, starting off with a meager $10 to help their mission. DoF sends support boxes to our men and women in uniform, support wounded Soldiers with emergency financial assistance, supports the families of wounded Soldiers and support the USO at DFW Airport (which helped at least one blogger get married.) So, I hope you will join me and give them a few dollars. Don’t let the fakers define who we are.
CHIEF JUSTICE ROBERTS REGIONAL
Last day of voting to see who makes the Sour Sixteen!
1 Tim “Stuttering Jackass” Poe v.
8 Alex “Subway Sandwich Shop Commando” Popovic
POE: Dude cried on TV more than when Kristen Stewart got caught boning a director and had to admit to her Twi-tards that she cheated on her werewolf. The guy that did the “Leave Brittney Alone!” video wrote me and said “That dude looks like the biggest sissy in history.” I can just imagine the increased flow of Estrogen if he takes home the win in the Stolen Valor Tournament. One small step for Poe, one giant leap for stuttering jackasskind.
POPOVIC: Anyone tried this new avocado sandwich thing they have going on at Subway? That was all Popovic’s idea, in consultation with the President, the NSA, NSC, FBI, CIA, and Jared. If you showed up and he was wearing that mandress though, would any of you actually eat the $5 footlong that this moron made?
12 Ayush “Major in the Navy SEALs” Arora v.
4 Bill “Psychic SEAL” Brockbrader
ARORA: A Major in the Navy SEALs who rescued hostages in Columbia.
BROCKBRADER: A psychic with the Navy SEALs trained at Area 51 by an extra testicle brought back on the Space Shuttle Columbia.
3 Graham “IVAW Ranger Brigade” Clumpner v.
6 Fermijon “Maggots and Rice” Marrero
CLUMPNER: The pride of IVAW everywhere, Clumpner stated in one interview: “We’d go into people’s houses and go through literally all of their things, open up every single drawer and dump stuff on the ground, push things over, kick things over, and … make absolutely no effort to apologize, or pay people, or explain. That process, for me, was the most traumatizing.” Poor leadership right there. Why not just explain what you are doing and apologize if need be? That’s what we did. Worked fairly well, you just say “Hey dude, gotta do this, will try to limit the damage.” Although, we destroyed children’s teeth and mother’s patience by loading kids down with sugar, so what do I know?
MARRERO: None of you bastards helped me find where to get good maggots. I’m still confused why he was fed the maggots in an ashtray. I’ve never noted a prolific use of ashtray’s in war zones. Did they get them surplus or something? And if he was so exhausted from the lack of food, how did he run all the way to Laos? See, these are the questions that plague me.
7 Melanie Evalena “Meth made me ugly” Gutermuth v.
2 Ron “Gunny Driveway” Mailahn
GUTERMUTH: Ah, sweet follicly challenged Melanie. Her forehead in this picture looks like it has enough room to paint a mural of Azeroth on it. She should go to Wes Welker’s hair guy. But, she is some weapons grade crazy awesomesauce, so she’s always fun.
MAILAHN: I was just revisiting his apology last night: “I admit I was not in the corps but I did serve in the army I said I was in the corps cause a lot of my friends that was made fun of the army I was wrong in doing so very wrong now that I admited to this please take my name off your web page and could u send this to the hell website and have them remove this off there site as well I just want to live my life this lie has caused me to lose jobs due to the fact it was on the web and I don’t need to lose anymore job opperinitys u have my permission to post this on the site Ronad Mailahn Jr” Dude, can I buy a punctuation of any kind? I like that we are “the hell website”. I guess than makes me Beelzebub, and Jonn Cerberus?
In the time of Chimpanzees I was a monkey, later I got crazy with the Cheez Whiz. Now go vote.
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Category: Politics
This was an easy one…all the top seeds move on but I’m sorry to see Guttermouth go…
Forehead? Hell no, that’s at least a fivehead right there.
Glad to see the Combat diving, maggot eating, El Generale is still hanging in there! Woot!
Gunny Driveway FTW!!!
I so much wanted to vote for Gutermuth, but Ronad just couldn’t be passed up.
Has anyone verified Gunny Driveway was in the Army either? Or is this just his backup lie?
Poe and Gunny Driveway. Lead balloons, both of ’em.
Stuttering Poe is an idiot and obvious fake. But The Subway Shop Commando let a maritime Security group based on false claims.
He may not stutter when he repeats someone “Ccccchicken Avacccccado Rrrrrranch” but he is harder to spot because his lies are believable to others.
C’Mon? Silver Star and Purple Heart when he doesn’t even have a CAR that is not a Chicken Avacado Ranch?
This DB deserves to win – or at least place based on his “I briefed the president and rumsfeld” or “SS and PH recipient” or “Saving “A Footlong BMT”- I mean “Saving Captain O’Grady”
I might be wrong on this because I haven’t really been keeping up, but I thought Poe got medavacked out because of an “injury” he sustained stateside, during mobilization. I use the quotation marks because I seem to remember some of his unit members who were there at the time commenting on FB or a new story that they thought he was faking to get sent home.
No matter, really.
@8, he was injured here in a trainup for Iraq, and then reinjured his back in Kandahar apparently. He was in theater for 32 days.
MikeD – haven’t seen it on this site, anyway. Which is why I voted against him, even for Guttergirl. She had to stand up straight, follow simple instructions, and pee clean at least once in her life to make it into basic. So she had at least one foot out of the Basement of Loserdom before she jumped back into it. Mailahn? Couldn’t prove it by me.
@5 Mike: it did finally come out that Ronny boy did spend some time in the army.
I had to go against the grain and vote for “Maggots and Rice.” His claim that he was a POW is what tipped my vote for him.
Brockbader is psychotic, in addition to being psychic. Wonder how much of that muscle he’s showing in that pic is actually Botox.
I actually did ponder voting for Melanie for a moment…a mug shot of her showed off her Star Trek Vulcan-like pointed ears, which made me think of the show’s nubile female Vulcans, but Ronnie’s audacity in trying to pass himself off as a Marine Sergeant Major (including wearing a red t-shirt with the SS “C” uniform, and owning a FNG high school-style jacket) brought me back to reality. He actually had the nerve to email me a pic of that jacket (hanging over the back of a seat in a Mickey D’s) in an effort to convince me that that proved he was a Marine. Any poseur who spends big bucks to support Sgt Grit is a winner in my book!
@11 Oops…dat wuz me.
Has Marrero given out any coins?
That would get my vote.
I wanted to vote for weapons-grade crazy, but that “apology” is golden ticket right to the top of this tourney
Clowns to the left of me, Jokers to the right..
Here I am, stuck in the middle with you
Man, that Clumpner/Findmyjohnson match-up is a killer.
Gunny Driveway’s going all the way in this bracket, though.
Gunny Driveway and Poe were no-brainers. No, I mean, well, okay, choosing them was easy, yeah.
I had to go with Brockbrader based on his psychic kiddy-diddling assclowness, and with Maggot and Rice simply because I still haven’t ever heard how a retired BG with that kind of retirement still has to scam to live in Section 8 housing in NYC.
All the way around, this is going to be the toughest bracket.
I got Poe, Brackbader, Marrero and Mailahn.
If you go to U.S. Army W.T.F. Moments on Facebook, there is a potential contestant named “Anderson” that could give Gunny Driveway a run for his money next year. He’s a cross between Vaughn and Driveway, with a touch of Soup Sandwich mixed in for good measure. I wish I knew how to post photos here. The comments are funny as well.
The writeup is as follows:
ATTENTION TO ORDERS! The President of the United States, Secretary General of the UN, and a lot of other important people have reposed special trust and confidence in the patriotism, valor, fidelity and professional excellence of “Anderson”. In view of these qualities and all the bad ass medals and ribbons he has he is here by appointed Supreme Sergeant Major General of the Universe. PRESEEEEEEEEENT —– ARMS!
483
JAGC, yeah, I’ve been tracking that guy as well. Not sure why it just surfaced, the picture is from 2009. We don’t have a first name or location yet, alas.
I’ve noticed a trend in my voting. I got for the ‘Crazy “Nam” vet’ over the younger generation of knuckleheads every time. They just have more panache, more style, more mustaches. But when I’m forced into voting for the younger guys, I go for the more outlandish the better.
Psychic powers? Win. Taking on multi year secret missions behind enemy lines? Win. Actually serving honorably and being wounded in theater, then lying your ass off about it? Fail. Fail, fail fail. If you are going to suck, at least go big.
Finding myself doing much the same, ANCCPT. With one notable exdeption because I am just tired of hearing about him, seeing his ugly mug all over the place, and he has honked me off so bad that I can’t vote for him to win anything.
I’m still hoping MSGT Spup sam’ich comes back for a surprise win! But no I think Poetard is going all the way this time. Dude bitched out on NATIONAL TV!!!
I’ve neither read the books or seen the movies, but that dude played a vampire 😛
@24, I found that out an hour ago on FoxNews, but the polls work funky when I try to edit. Had hoped no one noticed.
I thought those movies were about werewolves. What’s worse is I actually had to ask a coworker how to spell “werewolf” since I usually say “lycanthropy” proving once again that I am a better reader than writer!
@25
I can’t believe I’m chiming in on this… but I thought they were about some vampire/ human/ werewolf love triangle?
I wonder if “General” Marrero ate his maggots and rice with chopsticks….?
Wow..these people make me sick…….can’t we just package them up and send them to Kandahar to be roadside bomb detectors?? Also, and I apologize for not being up on the news but I am currently deployed…is it true that they are getting rid of the Stolen Valor Act?? Please tell me this is a rumor!
Popovic is the hands down favorite. This guy has lied about more than everyone combined and he’s still doing it!! briefed the President? Rumsfield? The Pentagon? Purple Heart Silver Star? This guy is the liar of the century and is still doing so..
WOW! This is getting harder and harder! P-P-P-Poe makes me want to punch a hole in the wall. Driveway makes me want to punch a hole in his face! Maybe popovic can make “Soup Sandwich” for his shop? How about a large turd on stale bread served with a cup of garbage can ‘juice’ for dipping?