Climate change called off

| March 16, 2023 | 52 Comments

Captive bull moose in velvet at AWCC.

Thank God we have all the climatologists working full time to save our unworthy butts. Me. I am getting tired of all those pesky seasons, the cold in winter, spring rains and thunderboomers, summer heat and squalls, fall – well, there really isn’t anything wrong with fall – but all those weather events caused by usedtabe nuclear winter, then global warming, now the dreaded climate change. But relief is  at hand, the the proposed solution is going to make at least some of you very, very happy.

The Norwegian University of Science and Technology studied moose in Norwegian forests for several years and concluded that the species have a major effect on vegetation growth and are altering the carbon cycle by dining on tree buds. “Moose are an ecosystem engineer in the forest ecosystem, and strongly impact everything from the species composition and nutrient availability in the forest. A grown animal can eat 50 kilograms of biomass each day during summer,” Gunnar Austrheim, an ecologist at the NTNU University Museum, said in a press release.

Yep, it’s moose. Big whacking ungulates (there’s your new word for the day – mean’s “hoofed critter”, so it applies to deer, cattle, horses, pigs, manatees), especially moose, are eating tree saplings and buds, therefore desecrating Holy Forests which are the answers to all our prayers.

The solution suggested to the latest climate change theory was to balance moose numbers and forest management in an effort to limit CO2 emissions. “We don’t only regulate the amount of animals, we very carefully regulate the proportion of females, males and calves. So there’s a stronger management for moose than for most livestock in Norway,” Francesco Cherubini, director of IndEcol Programme said. “I think as we get more of an understanding of how all these different things are interrelated, land managers could come up with an optimal plan. That could be a much-needed win-win solution for climate, for biodiversity and for timber value.”

Fox News

Balance moose numbers… think that means hunting to reduce the herd size. May have to be done with bow and arrow, since evil gunz are a major problem. Oh, ungulates also include rhinoceri and heffalumps elephants,because they are endangered and we can’t kill them no matter how much foliage they eat. And yes, all of you doubters must eat dirt, because this supports Occasional Cortex’s (AOC)  statement that farting caows are the problem. Whatever the combination, moose chowing down and cows farting – if we just eliminate them, the world will be right.

Category: "Teh Stoopid", Global Warming Voodoo

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ninja

“Utah School Gives Kids ‘Disgusting’ Insects To Eat In Class For Climate Assignment On Cows Killing The Earth”

https://www.foxnews.com/media/utah-school-gives-kids-insects-eat-class-climate-change-assignment-says-will-save-planet

“A Miidle School in Utah’s Nebo School District gave sixth-grade students “disgusting” insects to eat last week as part of an English assignment on climate change, claiming it would save the environment from cows which were “killing the world,”…

“The climate change assignment instructed sixth-graders to write an argumentative essay, but did not permit students to disagree. The only acceptable answer was that humans should eat insects for their protein instead of cows, which are destroying the Ozone layer with methane gas.”

“Some students were given extra credit as an incentive to eat the insects.”

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Jhstoney673

just read that article before browsing here. The most fucked up part is the assignment was supposed to be about facts supporting an argument…insinuating cows are destroying the earth as fact.

maybe its the fucking vapid morons who espouse this bullshit who are destroying the earth. If we eat all the insects, who will eat the decomposing bodies of the all the fuckers who starve to death.

what complete tomfuckery bullshit.

Forest Bondurant

Sounds like some curriculum from the World Economic Forum has been put in place.

Anonymous

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ninja

Well, at least they are FRIED…🤭

Calling AW1Ed and KoB…😉😎

“Want To Try Cicadas? Give The Brood X Insects This Spicy Popcorn Treatment”

https://www.washingtonpost.com/food/2021/05/19/spicy-popcorn-cicadas-recipe/

Ingredients
For the cicadas

12 freshly emerged 17-year cicadas
1/2 cup Worcestershire sauce
1/4 cup all-purpose flour
1/4 teaspoon onion powder
1/4 teaspoon garlic powder
1/4 teaspoon sweet or smoked paprika
1/8 teaspoon fine sea salt
1/8 teaspoon cayenne pepper
1 large egg
Vegetable oil, for frying

For the spice mix

1/2 teaspoon ground cumin
1/4 teaspoon fine sea salt
1/4 teaspoon cayenne pepper

Place the live cicadas in an airtight container and freeze at least 3 hours, or overnight.

Thoroughly rinse the frozen cicadas to remove any dirt, then transfer to a small bowl, pour the Worcestershire sauce over them and stir to combine. Cover and refrigerate for about 1 hour.

Remove the cicadas from the Worcestershire sauce and transfer to a wire rack or a towel-lined plate to drain.

Set out two shallow bowls. In one, whisk together the flour, onion powder, garlic powder, paprika, salt and cayenne; in the other, whisk the egg.

Working with one cicada at a time, dip it into the egg, letting the excess drip off, then coat it in the flour mixture, shaking off any excess, and transfer to a plate. Repeat with the remaining cicadas.

In a small saucepan, add enough oil to come about 1 1/2 inches up the sides of the pan, about 1 1/2 cups. Set the pot over medium-high heat and warm the oil until it registers 350 degrees on an instant-read thermometer. Place a wire rack near the stove or line a large plate with a clean tea towel or paper towels.

*Continue*

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ninja

*Continue*

Make the spice mix: In a small bowl, whisk together the cumin, salt and cayenne.

Fry the cicadas in two batches, 6 or so at a time, until light golden and crispy. Once they float to the surface, watch them carefully to avoid burning, stirring occasionally with a slotted spoon so they brown evenly, about 2 minutes. Transfer to the prepared rack or plate.

Lightly sprinkle the hot cicadas with the spice mixture as soon as they are removed from the oil. Transfer the cooked cicadas to a small bowl and serve.

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KoB

ninja, much as I miss EX-PH2’s “Thursdays are for Cooking” Thread, I believe that I will take a hard pass on this one. Bugs were designed to provide meals for birds…and bait for fish. Now iffen you want to put out a recipe for grilled crab cakes or cheesy grits with shrimp and bacon, I’m your Huckleberry. Maybe it was animal farts that led to the destruction of the 60 million plus American Bison? Oh, no…wait…that was the inventions of Messrs Hawken, Sharps, and Creedmore. Were these gentlemen ahead of their time and knew that if they didn’t take out all the Bison, the Climate Change would’ve started 100+ years sooner?

I’m wid ‘beans….ungulates have their place in the world…on a plate, next to the taters and carrots.

And lest we forget…gabn/gabaf/rtr/hbtd

AW1Ed

Proof one can batter dip and deep fry just about anything.
Not that one should.

SFC D

If I was in a situation where I had to eat cicadas to survive, I’d eat my dog first. Sorry Sammy, you’re a good dog and I love you, but I’m top of the food chain.

MustangCPT

I dunno, I’d do a lot for my dogs.

rgr1480

When I lived in Bangkok (68-70) I used to see these for sale all over the place!

They call them “giant water bugs” …. I call them cockroaches.

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Berliner

I remember bugs being sold in paper cups in shopping area across from Camp Casey (Dongducheon Korea) in 1990

Anonymous

P.S. Honesty, I thought James Bond villains would be less dorky than this.

“No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.”
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Last edited 4 days ago by Anonymous
A Proud Infidel®™

I remember when they were pimping the consumption of insects while I was a kid in early grade school in the early 70’s, they were pimping chocolate covered ants!

26Limabeans

Moose pot roast is to die for.
Well, at least on the Moose’s part.
And surround it with some Maine russetts while cooking.
Toss in the carrots near the end.
Pour yourself a couple of fingers of rye while your’re waiting.

SFC D

Real russets come from Idaho. Maine? Bah.

MustangCPT

Uh oh. Here come the potato wars. 🤣

When you’re loaded with potatoes
And you’re headed down
You’ve got to drive the woods
To get to Boston town
When it’s winter up in Maine
Better check it over twice
That Haynesville Road
Is just a ribbon of ice.

26Limabeans

If they buried all the truckers
lost in them woods
There’d be a tombstone every mile.

MustangCPT

Damn fine song by the late Dick Curless.

rgr769

Back in 1969, I flew to Oslo on a commercial flight. I was going to serve as part of the liaison team to the Norwegian Army for our huge upcoming NATO airborne exercise. I scored a dinner date with a stewardess on the flight. Our waitress at the swanky Oslo restaurant recommended the moose filet. It was the darkest ungulate meat I have ever eaten, and it was delicious. So, that is my solution to too many meese.

If God or Gaia didn’t want us to eat them, He/She wouldn’t have made them out of such tasty meat.

Dennis - not chevy

I once had spaghetti and meat balls in which the cook used ground moose meat instead of beef. Put a plate of that on your head and watch your tongue slap your brains out of the way to get at it.

26Limabeans

It’s very low fat and thus requires a bit added to properly
cook which makes it perfect for such meals.
A Moose harvested in Fall is liable to show up anywhere
all Winter long.

Dennis - not chevy

If I recall correctly: beef fat for hamburgers, meat balls, and the like; pig fat for sausages.

SFC D

Bacon grease for everything.

George V

I’ll propose their study is incomplete. Other studies have shown that the increased CO2 in the atmosphere has increased the vegetation on the Earth. Plants consider CO2 a fertilizer. More CO2 makes more vegetation, more vegetation makes more mooses.. moosi.. meese…

(Yes, I know the plural of moose is moose, but if that’s so why is the plural of goose geese?)

Anna Puma

A modest proposal – perhaps we need to control the number of ‘climate scientists’ to a sustainable level instead. Say like ten.

President Elect Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neande

“A Modest Proposal”.
I see what you did there. Well played.
(slow golf clap)
(h/t to Jonathan Swift, satirist supreme, author of “Gulliver’s Travels”, inventor of the word “yahoo” (look up the original definition))

…inventor of the word “yahoo” (look up the original definition)…

The original definition is still in use! You bunch of “Yā-hoos”!

I guess it’s “Yăhoo” in Canadian:
https://youtu.be/wsKPs5XXcEI?t=27

President Elect Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neande

As opposed to the current usage of Yahoo as a service and propaganda provider.

USMC Steve

Old Bullwinkle there does not look amused.

SFC D

He ain’t. I’ve seen that look. Just before I spent the day in a tree because Mr. Moose didn’t care for me fishing in his part of the river. About 3 casts in, this big sumbitch comes up out of the water, moss hanging off his antlers, and mightily pissed. Dropped everything and started climbing. He didn’t leave till after dark.

President Elect Toxic Deplorable Racist SAH Neande

Just be glad HE couldn’t climb a tree.

He made a couple half-hearted attempts at knocking it over

Forest Bondurant

All the world’s problems are almost over:

Because moose (moosen? meesen?) will be balanced, global warming will end.

Caricatures have been removed from Uncle Ben’s rice boxes, Aunt Jemima syrup bottles, and the American Indian woman from Land O’ Lakes butter packages, so racism has ended.

//sarc off//

MIRanger

I still don’t understand what removing the orginal owners’ picture from the syrup bottle had to do with racism?

SFC D

If you buy Uncle Ben’s products, does that make you a ricist?

Deckie

Betta hide yo herbivores

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5JC

My Bible says not to eat bugs, so pass.

5JC

i thought this was going to be about AI telling on its masters.

https://www.foxnews.com/media/chatgtp-confession-global-warming-much-since-2016

Skivvy Stacker

I never knew manatees were hoofed animals, but…okay.

This is just a not-so-subtle way of erasing all of the “useless” mammals from the earth, so they can preserve the more elite mammals; such as politicians, bankers, actors, and super models.
Of course, once they rid themselves of the entire tax base, and the labor needed to produce food……

MustangCPT

Maybe if we went Morlock on their bitch Eloi asses.

Roh-Dog

I never knew manatees were hoofed animals, but…okay.

It looks like we have a Soyence Denier®.

KoB

I’ll just stick this right here…

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Roh-Dog

A grown animal can eat 50 kilograms of biomass each day during summer

What’s that in Freedom Units?

J/k, don’t care. Mooses are better people than these folks.

Now if you want to make the argument so as to ensure a healthy carrying capacity for game animals, I’d be down.

Nature’s meat is damn fine meat.

Anonymous

1kg = 2.2 lbs, so… 110 lbs

Anonymous

Well, about time… this sh*t’s just been getting silly for a while now:
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A Proud Infidel®️™️

***ENVIRONMENTAL NEWS FLASH***

Plymouth Rock is still at sea level.

Post that on Farcebook and see how quickly the “fact checkers” go apeshit!

T1B

A moose once bit my sister…

JC5

I cut the antlers on my pet moose too short and the ATF found out about it. They broke into the house and shot the moose. He was yummy.

MustangCPT

I’m surprised it took this long for the Monty Python reference to appear. 🤣

ninja

😉😎

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Messkit

If a Moose asks if you want to see him pull a climate change out of a hat, remind him, that trick never works.