Liberal douChe’ at the Washington Post calls for new National Anthem
The melody is lifted from an old English drinking song. The lyrics are all about bombs and war and bloodshed — and not in a good way. By the penultimate verse, the song has turned really nasty: “No refuge could save the hireling and slave/From the terror of flight or the gloom of the grave.” In the first verse — the one we generally sing — there is only one reference to any value commonly associated with America: “land of the free.” By contrast, “home of the brave” is empty bravado. There is nothing in the American myth (let alone reality) to suggest that we are braver than anyone else.
No, “The Star-Spangled Banner” has got to go. The only question is, What should replace it?
Yes, by all means, yeah though you be just some assclown columnist and the National Anthem is law (By a law signed on March 3, 1931 by President Herbert Hoover) let’s have an American Idol-esque competition to pick a new one.
I was initially thinking that in these days of Obama, replete with change (and hope!) we should go with something like Stayin’ Alive by the Bee Gees. But, I prefer Drivin’ and Cryin’ with Going Straight to Hell. (Sorry the video sucks, I couldn’t find a better one.)
Anyone want to give other suggestions?
Category: Politics
Yeah – I got a suggestion and that gutless bastard can print it out, roll it up and…
Here’s my suggestion:
ARTIST: Frank Loesser
TITLE: Praise the Lord and Pass the Ammunition
Down went the gunner, a bullet was his fate
Down went the gunner, and then the gunner’s mate
Up jumped the sky pilot, gave the boys a look
And manned the gun himself as he laid aside the Book, shouting
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition
And we’ll all stay free
Praise the Lord and swing into position
Can’t afford to be a politician
Praise the Lord, we’re all between perdition
And the deep blue sea
Yes the sky pilot said it
Ya gotta give him credit
For a sonofagun of a gunner was he,
shouting
Praise the Lord, we’re on a mighty mission
All aboard, we’re not a-goin’ fishin’
Praise the Lord and pass the ammunition
And we’ll all stay free
It makes me wonder how good and soft their lives must be that they can sit around and IMAGINE shit to be offended over.
Dear Michael Kinsley,
If you don’t like our National Anthem, just remember the door to the Land of the Free can be an exit as well. I’m sure that out of nearly two hundred countries on this earth you can find one more paletable to your taste. I’m sure there are other countries out there that will allow you to write treasonous statements in your columns as well. Doesn’t every country have freedom of the press and a populace that will give their lives if necessary to help you keep that ideal?
Just a suggestion: to the tune of God Bless America..
“Weeee…bless Oh-Baa-aaama…
Man, that I love…
Stands beside us, to guide us, from the Right to the Left from Above….
From the Mountains…
To the Prairies..
To the Oceans, light with fooooam!
We, bless Oh Ba-hama,
from our home, sweet, home.”
You just KNOW this would work, eh?
Mr Wolf
“Redneck National Anthem by Vernon Oxford”
To the tune of the Oscar Meyer weiner jingle
“I wish I was a whiny liberal douche
That is what I really want to be
Cause if I was a whiny liberal douche
The other countries would piss all over me.
It makes me wonder how good and soft their lives must be that they can sit around and IMAGINE shit to be offended over.
Slow news day…apparently no rightwing gun nuts attempted to murder any saintly abortion providers, so…
I am not a man prone to violence over the ramblings of a beta male douche bag. However, for a minute or two, I considered finding the “man” in question, and giving him a slap upside his face.
What caused me to repudiate such an action was concern over what sort of a douchebaggerly disease I might contract just by the merest of contact with his beta-male skin.
I think a better response would be to hire a marching band to stand outside his house and play the National Anthem 24/7 until he recounts his perfidy and submits his resignation.
respects,
AW1Tim,
I love your suggestion, I would gladly chip in to cover the band hire…
Love it or hate it, our National Anthem is the only song I know that when the first few chords are played, anywhere in the world, people instantly recognize it. I don’t think you can say that about say the Lithuanian or even the Chinese national anthem.
Having participated in both sporting events and of course military events with that American flag on my sleeve, whenever I was on the international stage, hearing that song made me stand a little straighter and taller. By international I mean competing against other countries. Hell even ask the professional baseball players who play on the USA team and compete in the world baseball series and they will say the same thing.
Nope that song is just fine and if he wants a different one I suggest he find a country that has one he likes and move to it.
[…] Others: Atlantic Correspondents, Neptunus Lex, Hot Air, The Opinionator, Argghhh! and This ain’t Hell … […]
This is the Age of Obama. I suggest “I’m Sorry” by Brenda Lee.
After some adult libations, don’t hate me for singing along to I’m sorry” ….so sorry…
That’s all I know, but i am so sorry for all the people with that mental disease. Uh, liberalism? Yeah, that’s it.
Hmmm. . . If Senor LaDouche doesn’t like the Star Spangled Banner for our National Anthem, if he wants something a little more modern in keeping with the times, may I suggest the following:
“God Bless the USA (Proud to be an American)”, written & sung by Lee Greenwood
OR
“God Bless America Again.” This one’s an oldie, I couldn’t find out the writer quick, I saw attributes & sung-bys to Tex Ritter, Loretta Lynn, Bobby Bare, & a host of other old-timer Country (not C&W) singers. But to bring it “up to date”, how about the Charlie Daniels Band version.
Yes, this asshat has the right to say what he wants, even have it printed. But by the same right, I don’t have to like it, and can rebut in kind. And if HE doesn’t like it, TOUGH! Meet me at noon, weapons of choice. His would probably be of the cooked wet noodle variety.
How about a “We Are The World” for a national anthem. I can do the Michael Jackson solo and accompanying foot-tapping.
I too suggest that Kinsley move. Canada’s Anthem was adopted in 1980 so it more revelant. He would have to learn 3 different anthems, they have a English French and Inukitut version. Oh, and in the name of unity, the French version isn’t even close to the English version. Last 4 lines of English (sung to the tune of “Oh Christmas Tree” We stand on guard for thee. God keep our land glorious and free! O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. Last 4 lines of the French version (this one is sung to the tune of “Oh Tenanbaum”) Thy history is an epic of the most brilliant exploits. Thy valour steeped in faith Will protect our homes and our rights Will protect our homes and our rights. As far as new anthems: “(Were on) The Road to Nowhere” — The Talking Heads “Straight to Hell” — The Clash “Mercedes Benz” — Janis Joplin Of course none of the suggestions choke me up the way the current one does. “On September 3, 1814, Francis Scott Key and John Stuart Skinner, an American prisoner-exchange agent, set sail from Baltimore aboard the ship HMS Minden flying a flag of truce on a mission approved by President James Madison. Their objective was to secure the release of Dr. William Beanes, the elderly and popular town physician of Upper Marlboro, and a friend of Key’s who had been captured in his home. Beanes was accused of aiding the arrest of British soldiers. Key and Skinner boarded the British flagship HMS Tonnant on September 7 and spoke with Major General Robert Ross and Admiral Alexander Cochrane over dinner, while they discussed war plans. At first, Ross and Cochrane refused to release Beanes, but relented after Key and Skinner showed them letters written by wounded British prisoners praising Beanes and other Americans for their kind treatment. Because Key and Skinner had heard details of the plans for the attack on Baltimore, they were held captive until after the battle, first aboard HMS Surprise, and later back on… Read more »
And why not have a new flag, as well?
A white flag on a white background should do it…
http://trackacrat.com/2009/06/11/the-friendly-face-of-terrorism/
Darn it, meant to type “white cross on a white background”…
Successfully ruined my own attempt at humor, sucks.
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