God Emperor Trump – Long Live the Great Orange Ape

Yeah, THAT GUY was depicted as an Angel in a German parade float.

Pssst… this is parody. Only heads going boom are on the right.

Emps is/was also a colossally-arrogant hypocritical dickbag, which probably has a lot to do with the Imperium’s constant state of war.

A Cliffnotes version of the Imperial military:

Space Marines (Adeptus Custodes): genetically and cybernetically enhanced 9-foot-tall walking tanks who get all the glory and all the cool shit. Some joined the forces of Chaos and are now demonically enhanced on top of all that.

Imperial Guard (Astra Militarum), AKA “The Wall of Guns.” The regular army, numbers in the hundreds of billions across the galaxy. The IG’s standard strategy is “throw unsupported infantry at the problem.” If the objective is important enough, they have some truly awesome tanks, artillery, and IFVs in inventory, but those cost money and the Imperium considers manpower an inexhaustible resource. Discipline is enforced by commissars, who can execute any man on the spot for heresy, defeatism, cowardice, insubordination, or suggesting that there might be better alternatives to engaging giant space orks in close combat. Casualties regularly number in the tens of millions. The life of a guardsman can be summarized thusly: “Enemy tanks approaching. FIX BAYONETS!”

Imperial Navy: 15-mile-long space battleships crewed by 80,000 slave-sailors each (crews are co-ed, fraternization is encouraged in order to replace turnover). They haul the IG from planet to planet, but those battleships are way more expensive than the tanks they often can’t be bothered to land, so they will generally sit comfortably in orbit in a Mexican standoff with the opposing fleet while the IG gets stuck with a protracted ground war. If authorized, they have about a dozen different means to enact Exterminatus, the complete destruction of a planet’s surface. These include, but are not limited to, cyclonic torpedoes (supernukes), bioweapons, seismic weapons, incendiaries that will burn the atmosphere off, and regular old bomb-it-back-to-the-stone-age. Sometimes they’ll even take the time to evacuate the IG from the surface first.