Puck Yourselves, University Hands Out Hockey Pucks : NPR
For Defense Against Active Shooters, University Hands Out Hockey Pucks
Hockey pucks: They’re small and heavy and — one Michigan college thinks — may be the perfect weapon against an active shooter on campus.
Oakland University, a public school in Rochester Hills, near Detroit, is distributing thousands of 94-cent hockey pucks for just that reason.
The distribution, which began earlier this month, stemmed from a March faculty active-shooter training session, which followed February’s shooting at a Parkland, Fla., high school that left 17 dead.
A participant at the training asked Oakland University Police Chief Mark Gordon what items people could use to defend themselves on the campus, which has a no-weapons policy, the Detroit Free Press reports.
A hockey puck was a “spur-of-the-moment idea that seemed to have some merit to it, and it kind of caught on,” Gordon said.
The faculty union followed up on the idea, purchasing 2,500 hockey pucks: 800 for union members and 1,700 for students, the Free Press reports.
The school conducts active-shooter training sessions multiple times a year, teaching the “run, hide, fight” method, which emphasizes fleeing an active-shooter situation above all else, hiding if fleeing isn’t an option — and fighting if hiding isn’t, either.
Fighting, with a hockey puck or other means, should be “an absolute last strategy,” Gordon told the Free Press.
The faculty union at Michigan’s Oakland University purchased 2,500 hockey pucks to be used as a potential weapon of last resort. The pucks also double as a fundraising tool.
Here is the quote of the week:
“If you threw [a hockey puck] at a gunman, it would probably cause some injury. It would be a distraction, if nothing else,” Gordon told WXYZ, a local ABC station.
I could be wrong but it would only distract a gunman long enough to put a bullet in your ass. I doubt a bunch of prissy libtards prancing around with hard rubber is really all that new. I think rubber dicks might be an even bigger distraction. Not sure if they make good door stops though. Maybe one of you fine people would know about all that.
I do like that each puck is serialized…do they require a background check or can any loon purchase one?
S ource: For Defense Against Active Shooters, University Hands Out Hockey Pucks : NPR
Category: "Teh Stoopid", Dumbass Bullshit, Gun Grabbing Fascists
Sounds like a good gimmick to get people to think about what to do. Watching the run, hide, fight video (which is terrible if you haven’t seen it), really won’t do much. As ridiculous as this is, at least it gets people to envision doing something, anything to fight back.
Average speed of a puck when hit by an NFL player with a stick is 80-90 mph, with the world record being 110.3.
Now place that puck in the hands of a college student and see how fast they can launch it and with what degree of accuracy.
After that puck lands on or near a gunman you have just drawn a lot of unwanted attention to yourself.
Good luck.
I used to hit tennis balls with a racket for my dogs. Then I discovered Chuckit.
http://chuckit-toys.co.uk/our-products/launchers.html
More than doubled the distance vs racket.
Now if they could just be adapted to hockey pucks you might have an extra second or two before the gunman drops you.
The pucks are numbered, so that the ACLU can identify the liberal that smacked the poor dindunuffin in the head, cause him ptsd and aclu will sue the college for harming a poor defenseless perpetrator!
Straw purchases of dangerous weapons???
This does sound a little stupid.
At least it is a pitiful attempt at self defense.
This mightjust give the kids the idea that they are their own first responder.
Next they may get ideas about self reliance,and thinking for themselves.
And we get little conservatives!
“If you threw [a hockey puck] at a gunman, it would probably cause some injury. It would be a distraction, if nothing else.”
Yeah, the injury would be to the pussy’s arm. And I would change the second line to read, ‘At best, it would be a distraction AND nothing else.’ Idiots. I guess they don’t know that hockey pucks used in the sport can be deadly only b/c they are frozen before each game and a slap shot can make them travel about 105 mph. Without those factors, you have just some compressed black rubber. Best of luck with that.
Seems to me you could do just a much damage with a similar sized river rock. Also, they are almost free and you don’t need to put numbers and lettering on them. Better have some heroes to charge the shooter after a bunch of pucks hit him. Are they training for that? Maybe future school shooters will only go for the puck-free zones.
I am…beyond words.
Sigh….
Im sure if you put in a sock and swing it around…it might hurt. Other than that, it’ll probably just piss someone off.
If the college nerds are gonna go with putting something in a sock, they can use their bicycle locks. Like Lars’ buddy out at Berzerkley did.
Before Jeff LPH gets up, you’re all missing the obvious action movie hero move of yelling “Puck you!” before chucking it at the shooter.
Mason, If a puck was thrown hard enough at a shooter hitting him in the head, wouldn’t that Puck him up or hitting the lips would make them pucker up. Trying to do this also raises the pucker factor.
Taking a hockey puck to a gun fight? What can go wrong? What if the perp has a hockey stick?
Made me think of this guy….(Well the voice)…
R.I.P. Don
Jeezuz… academia at its finest.
Ok, I’m going to be honest here. If I’m in a kinetic situation and rubber dicks are flying back, I’d die laughing.
OK. Please tell me you meant to type
“Disks”
Yikes! I don’t think the school realizes those are assault pucks. Can we get a ban?
I appreciate how the pucks are serialized too.
Student: “Hey everyone, check this out! Mine says AUFD #33395!”
TAH: “Congratulations. You’re #33395 of ‘All Unified Fucking Dumbasses’ on campus”.
As a currently playing Beer League Ice hockey player, I will say this will totally work (unless the shooter is Canadian) /s.
BTW–where did they get 94 cent pucks?
Where? Most assuredly -not- from the campus bookstore.
I thought I had seen everything… but I was wrong… and this proves it.
Insanity… well, but maybe, as someone else has pointed out, it will get these walking zombies to think about how to defend themselves. Or maybe they’ll get interested in hockey and start skating, get some exercise and flush some oxygen into their dormant craniums.
Before a single puck is issued, I want full background checks (to include social media), a mental health examination, drug testing for THC, opiates, opioids, cocaine, Ritalin, and robitussin, complete voting history, and a list of the applicant’s social organizations. It’s for the children.
Puck me! This is pucking stupid!
Hand out M67 grenades.
More effective and, cleans out the lower half of the gene pool.
No H1, we are saving those for the border 😉
So the snowflakes in charge of the university say “Puck it” when it comes to defense against an active shooter, just brilliant!
“Frankly my dear, I don’t give a puck.”
Said by active shooter just before ventilating puck thrower.
ArgoPuck yourself…
I would just yell “look! a hockey puck!”
And run the other way.
Just as effective.
That’s what Don Rickles would say.
He might describe this as “pucks by schmucks” in his standup routine.
And this is supposed to help? Sure it will.
They couldn’t have at least handed out baseball bats?
I think a confetti shooting My Little Pony strap on would be more effective that the pucks.
I would think a Hockey Stick would be marginally more effective than a puck.
Are the pucks heavy enough to use as a paper weight? They’re bound to be useful for something.
Sad, these same people are telling them to hide behind overturned school desks. Better than nothing, but they have the expectation that they will stop bullets, not even a .22 in most cases.
The pucks will be withdrawn after the first rash of puck-related prancing.
They will appear in pictures of campus cafeteria burgers
Someone will superglue them in place to block doors open or closed. Or, to security vehicles as hood ornaments or “supertraction” tire add-ons. (Go Speed Racer!)
They will wind up in urinals. They will be dumped in commodes.
They will be tossed into traffic.
People will paint them like common round drugs.
They will be used in pairs in suggestive ways.
And far, far worse.
“Puck related -pranking-“
“A participant at the training asked Oakland University Police Chief Mark Gordon what items people could use to defend themselves on the campus, which has a no-weapons policy, the Detroit Free Press reports.”
AYSM? You fucking have to ask someone what to use to defend yourself? This person is actually on a college campus and is too stupid to realize that about anything he can get his hands on MIGHT be used for his defense, with some things obviously being better suited than others? The one guy in the film had a fire extinguisher. Him and the guy with the metal chair are the smartest ones of the bunch. That guys’ head would look like a rotten melon before I would stop beating him.
Jeez, people, think for yourself. Use anything you can get if trapped with no other recourse. I’m surprised the moron didn’t ask what motivated the attacker. You know, no puppy as a child. Or, something in vogue with dumbasses, perhaps that he was a middle child.
Any chair in a bar fight (and the Latin translation thereof)
These people are our future “leaders”? Wow, we’re fucking doomed.
In a life or death situation, your betters have advised that you can pick up and use -anything- as a weapon,
Except of course a weapon.
-anything- as a weapon
Except things -meant- as weapons
…
Folks, that is -insane- and -evil-
11B. That’s great. Anything can be used as a weapon, except, of course, a weapon. Excellent.
What a ‘Pucked Up’ idea. Why not throw toast points? All that a hockey puck would do is make the shooter look like a toothless NHL goalie.
Give all the students a cat. Let them toss an angry cat at the shooter. Cats are much more acceptable than a gun, or a lethal hockey puck.
That should be Ex-PH2’s suggestion.
What do you have against cats, may I ask????
Better idea: pull that old Indiana Jones trick: put up yer dukes, start punching the air, then stop, look and point, and when the other guy looks, you kick or punch as hard as you can, and more than once. Or use a fire extinguisher. Or find a nice big chuck roast in the meat bin and chuck it at the shooter.
I’ll stick with the cat!
We poke fun at this, one more example of liberal inanity, when in actuality, this degree of stupidity if ever put to actual test could seriously increase the casualty count. Has any of these morons considered that in order to get any meaningful velocity into such a throw, one needs to be standing and have an unobstructed path to the shooter who then has a clear line of fire to the puck thrower?
Are we sure this wasn’t Oakland, California?
“[I]n actuality, this degree of stupidity, if ever put to actual test, could seriously increase the casualty count.”
You have just found the silver lining. People who would pocket one of these pucks ‘just in case’ need removal from the gene pool.
If it’s to be used as a weapon, and not a thing of sport, and it’s to be carried, I believe a Concealed Puck Permit should be required.
Carry concealed counter-assault puck
CCCP
Of course!
Anarchist black. Can’t be -too- obvious!
Is the new slogan “Chuck the Puck”, or something catchy like that?