How To Win a War Started by the Gun Grabbing Fascist Tits

 

I read an article on the “revolution” against gun grabbing/confiscation and the numbers, math, how gun owners could form a civilian army, etc.  And it won’t work well, because – well, lack of subtlety is the response.

A few observations on my part. Guerrilla warfare, as anyone who was in-country in Vietnam will tell you, is not necessarily made up of shoot-shoot-bang-bang. It’s a lot more subtle than that. Pretty girls, for instance, will distract any male human animal (exceptions are noted) enough to take his mind off his target and plant it elsewhere.

For example, there is black & white film stored on video showing Army trucks with replacement troops rolling into Bien Hoa, while alongside the road, on the dirt berm, all these young Vietnamese women dressed in traditional ao-dais and wearing that common coolie hat were watching and counting. When they thought the camera was on them, they immediately dropped the hat over the face. They were spies, as were the mama-sans and papa-sans who worked on the bases, counting empty racks and newly-made up racks and new duffel bags.

If you really want to stop the gun grabbers, that asinine scene in conservation area in Oregon state in the winter of 2016 is THE dumbest thing EVER concocted by an egotistical asshole. No wonder it failed.

You must be far more subtle, if you expect to win a war against Grabbing Your Guns By the Fascist Tits.

Distracting the Gun Grabbing Fascist Tits while someone sabotages the vehicles isn’t all that hard.  Here are some suggestions:

– Sabotaging vehicles does not require incendiary devices. That thinking is far too narrow and amateurish. You get a transceiver that picks up the remote key signal which is a radio frequency, clones it, open the door, pop the gas tank lid, and pour sugar into the gas tank. About two pounds should do it. Car thieves are using this cloning  technology now to steal cars without doing any damage to them, especially those with keyless ignitions. Piece of cake.

– Cut their brake lines enough for the brake fluid to drain out slowly.

– Pop the hood and cut the battery cables. Or just remove the batteries when you’re done messing with the vehicles.

– Drain the antifreeze/coolant out of the radiator. There is a plug for that, you know.

– Removing all the lugnuts from the wheels but leaving the tires in place will result in – what?

– Try letting most of the air out of three of the tires until they are nearly flat, along with removing the lug nuts and mailing them back to their HQ.

– As long as you have the vehicle doors open, pour fluorescent neon pink or orange or green paint on the seats, so that it gets on the Gun Grabbing Fascist Tits and stays there for weeks.

– Remove all the license plates from the rear ends of all vehicles. Mail them back to their HQ from a city you don’t live in. Or use UPS.

– Have a device that sets off all the alarms in all their vehicles, one after another, and they can’t shut it off because they are locked out. Keys no longer work. How come? Cloned radio frequency on each vehicle changed to a single frequency for all and they don’t have it. Like I said, car thieves do this all the time now.

– Clone the same GPS signal for as many escape vehicles as possible, and once the Gun Grabbing Fascist Tits are distracted by the signal scatter, shut them off and remove them from your own vehicles, then turn them back on and leave them behind. (And yes, you can shut off your vehicle’s installed GPS, despite what people think.) Just make sure that you have these pursuers so far out in the boonies that they have to ask for directions back to Chicago or NYC or whatever at a local gas station, and maybe buy paper maps to get home.

– And when they find them and open the doors, make sure you’ve left behind some very angry wasps in their nest.

– Let them think they are closing in on the “lead escape vehicle” and when they’re all gathered together, release the balloons packed inside. Make sure the balloons have candy bars tied to them, and a way to rupture so that the candy lands on the Gun Grabbing Fascist Tits.

– Plant a small transmitter in the target Gun Grabbing Fascist Tits’ vehicles that has a recording on it of Woody Woodpecker’s laugh or maybe Bugs Bunny ‘What’s up, Doc?’ – something inane and insane like that, which they can’t shut off because you have to stomp on it to stop it. Maybe under the carpeting next to the door on the driver’s side is a good spot.

– Peel and put those large self-stick sheets on their windshields and back windows and outside mirrors, and be sure to include messages of “love” on them. Obscene drawings are okay, in this instance. Put them over the headlights and brake lights, too.

– Know the area so well that you can drive home in the dark with no headlights, only using infrared on the road. Make sure you’re driving a dark-colored car, too.

Come on, use your imagination. Don’t be so shoot-shoot-bang-bang about it. That’s too amateurish. You don’t want people sending you bags of fruit-flavored dicks in the mail, do you?

Category: "The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves", Gun Grabbing Fascists, Liberals suck, Satire