Random Thoughts from the Road
Getting home after a 2+ week trip this weekend. I think I’m gonna need to have my spouse check my butt for calluses after I get home. (smile)
While traveling, I saw and/or thought of a few things that made me go, “Hmm?” – or laugh. Or which I otherwise thought were noteworthy enough to share.
So here ya go. Hey, you get bored and/or mentally fatigued while driving over 6,000 miles; at that point, you’re pretty easily amused. I blame what follows on that.
. . .
When going through El Paso going east/west (or west/east), you have two decent choices: I-10 and TX 375 (Purple Heart Freeway and Woodrow Bean Transmountain Drive). The former goes through downtown El Paso and by UTEP; the latter bypasses the city, but does go through the Franklin Mountains (and through the Franklin Mountains State Park). Consequently, there’s quite a climb/descent involved if you take TX 375.
At the high point, TX 375 goes through a cut/pass in the mountains called Smuggler’s Pass. There’s an elevation sign at the summit; the elevation is 5,280 feet – exactly one mile.
Which led my boredom/fatigue infused brain to wonder: if a couple were to go parking next to that sign and got amorous (without getting rousted by the police, of course) . . . would they become members of the “Mile High Club/Ground Division”? (smile)
. . .
Road trains (a semi pulling 3 or more trailers) are supposedly common in the Australian outback. But I thought they were illegal in the US.
Apparently, though, they’re not illegal all US locations. Well, either that or there was one bold-ass trucker on one of the highways I traveled this trip – ‘cause he was pulling 3 trailers (looked to be 40-foot trailers, or perhaps a bit shorter).
First one I’d ever seen.
. . .
If you ever get the chance, take US70 between Las Cruces and Roswell, NM. It absolutely has to be one of the most spectacular 3-hour drives in the nation.
Starting in Las Cruces, you begin in deep desert, eventually end up (after several long climbs) in Ponderosa Pine-covered mountains at nearly 8,000 feet, and then descend to open scrub/grassland plains. Gorgeous.
En route, you pass through the US Army’s White Sands Missile Range; pass by a NASA facility; pass by the White Sands National Monument; and pass by the Apache-run Inn of the Mountain Gods. You also pass through Ruidoso and several other smaller towns in New Mexico. Many places along the route are worth a look, and the Inn of the Mountain Gods seems to be a damned nice place for a weekend getaway. Hopefully I’ll be able to do that one year.
Plus, there’s also the International UFO Museum and Research Center in Roswell – if you’re into that kind of kitsch.
. . .
A correction to a couple of previous articles I posted here and here. Turns out there are places to eat reasonably near to the Uranus Fudge Factory besides their Party Bar. However, they’re on the opposite side of I-44 and are only easily visible from one direction. I somehow missed them on my previous trips through that area.
So if you go, you can get something to eat in the vicinity pretty much any time they’re open. You’ll just have to cross over I-44 if it’s before the nearby Party Bar opens and starts serving food.
. . .
Finally, the following tale I heard years ago came to mind.
Three clergymen met at an annual conference. Though of different denominations, they hit it off.
Each year each was able to return to the conference annually. Over time, they became fast friends, though they lived in different areas.
At their final attendance, there was a terrible auto accident. The taxi they were taking to dinner together was hit, and crushed, by an 18-wheeler. They all died instantly.
After the accident, they found themselves on a cobblestone road leading to a Shining City on a Hill. With some trepidation, they approached the gate.
They were met at the gate by Saint Peter. Rather than smiling or frowning – which would have instantly told the three their eternal fate – Saint Peter had a chagrined look on his face.
“Men,” said Saint Peter, “I owe you an apology. You became fast friends on earth because you had the same Guardian Angel. He was new, and we thought assigning him to three clergy would be a good first assignment.
Unfortunately, he misread the Eternal Calendar. The accident sending you here indeed was to have happened – but not until next year. You were supposed to have missed that cab and caught the next one. Consequently, you three are here a bit over a year early.”
Saint Peter cleared his throat. “That means we have a problem. We can’t bring you back to life as humans; God is adamant that Lazarus was the last miracle of that type. But you can’t enter Heaven until you’re scheduled to do so – which is a year and a day from now.
So you have a choice. You can either stay here outside the Eternal City for that time, though I fear you’ll be bored to tears for a year. Or we can send you back to earth as anything but a human, with guaranteed return in one year.”
The three thought about it.
Shortly one of the three spoke up. “I’ve always wanted to fly,” the first said. “Could I go back to earth as an eagle?”
Instantly he vanished.
The second spoke up about a minute later. “I’ve always admired cats, and I love the mountains. Could I go back to earth for my year as a mountain lion in the Rockies?”
He too vanished.
The third spoke up. “Could I go back as a stud?”
The third immediately vanished.
A year later, God and Saint Peter were conversing in the Eternal City. God turned to Saint Peter and said, “It’s about time for those three to come home forever. How are they doing?”
Saint Peter said, “Lord, the first is enjoying his last day on earth soaring over the mountains in northern New Mexico. He seems happy, but I sense he’s ready to come home.”
God then asked: “And the second?”
“Sir, the second is basking in the sun on a rock outcropping in the Colorado Rockies, purring after having eaten his fill. He too is happy, but I sense he’s also ready to come home.”
“And the third?” asked God.
“That one still has me perplexed, Lord,” said Saint Peter. “He’s still holding up that wall in a house in Iowa, as he has been for the past year. And he’s definitely ready to come home.”
Moral of the story: precision and specificity in language are quite important. Or to phrase it another way: “Be careful of precisely what you ask for – you might get it!” (smile)
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That’s all for now. Hope everyone is having a great day.
Category: Pointless blather, Who knows
I spent the summer of 1992 in El Paso, and there was more than one occasion when I was exceeding the speed limit dropping off of Transmountain… and being passed by bicyclists on skinny-tired road bikes. More balls than brains! And road trains are not all that unusual on I-10, at least in AZ / NM.
Was one of those cyclists. Word of advice for cyclists: Never pass a car with NM tags on the right, they tend to turn their head and hands at the same time to look at you.
Small correction, I believe many other folks can confirm that the altitude sign on Transmountain says 5250 feet.
Both AAA and Wikipedia give the elevation at that cut as one mile. My eyes, as of a few days ago, agree with them; the sign now reads 5,280 feet.
https://www.aaroads.com/guides/sl-375-west-transmountain-rd-tx/
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Texas_State_Highway_Loop_375
If the sign ever said 5,250 feet, apparently it’s been re-surveyed and found to be higher. That happens occasionally; Mount Everest’s official elevation has changed multiple times over the years.
You just had to go there again… I’m still laughing from the last time you explored uranus. You had stories of uranus, pictures of uranus and, if I recall correctly, you weren’t the only one in uranus. No wonder you have butt calluses.
There’s one variation of that joke that has St Pete saying that “stud” will be a little difficult to find as he’s on a snow tire somewhere in Wisconsin.
Hondo: 3 trailer combos are legal in most Western states.
They don’t bother me except in high winds (I saw one in Utah being blown all over the place – I’m assuming the driver had to change his shorts when he got to a rest area.)
The ones that make me concerned are the “amateur” road trains: Typically a pickup pulling a travel trailer and the travel trailer pulling either a boat or a utility trailer with a couple of 4 wheelers on it. My understanding is that the combination is only legal if the 1st trailer is a 5th wheel, but I’ve seen it done with bumper-pull trailers too.
One can only hope they’re not going long distances like that.
I have seen some truckers hauling at least two shorter trailers, usually loaded with those cargo containers from the railroads.
I haven’t seen the 3-some yet, but I’ll let you know if I do.
Awesome stories, Hondo. 🙂
My brother-in-law was a trucker before he retired. The company he drove for would do “triples” between their Cleveland yard and the west border of Indiana for loads going to Chicago.
The driver would stop at a drop yard and leave the third trailer and then continuye on into Chicago. A local driver or a driver with about 2 hrs. of drive time would pick up a double and
take them into Chicago from there.
I did an AT at Biggs Army Airfield and the other end of the unit was at Roswell international Airfield.
We were supposed to be simulating FOB Airfield operations between the two “bases”.
I had to drive the route from the two places shuttling crew or officer quite a few times over the two weeks either Alamogordo route or Carlsbad route.
Great view and White Sands was amazing as was the other route, scenery wise. Hard to deny the beauty of the desert and mountain Southwest.
Bit of USAF historical trivia: the international airport at Roswell was once Walker AFB (before that, Roswell Army Air Field). At one time, it was the largest base in SAC.
It was closed in 1967 during DoD’s Vietnam consolidation (necessary due LBJ getting the US into a major war “off budget” and initially without a tax hike).
Besides bombers, it also had an Atlas missile squadron. At a roadside rest stop just west of Roswell, there’s a plaque that describes that part of Walker AFB’s history.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Walker_Air_Force_Base
Folks stationed at or passing through the Bliss/El Paso region should make a stop at the National Border Patrol Museum, located right off of TX 375 Woodrow Bean Transmountain Drive. I visited the museum when I was stationed at Bliss during 2002-04. Interesting displays and lots of artifacts of illegal stuff the USBP have confiscated/seized along the border over the years. Definitely worth a visit…
See link below for more info:
https://borderpatrolmuseum.com/
First – a short story.
Back during the active phase of the Korean War, my uncle was a USAF aircraft mechanic in Korea. He returned to California to ETS, where he met a young Fraulein who spoke very little English, yet they hit it off and got married.
After ETS-ing, they drove back to Texas. As they crossed the border into Texas just W of El Paso, my uncle commented “We are in Texas now” – just as they also passed a skunk who didn’t make it across the road.
My aunt thought “Mein Gott! Does all Texas smell like this?”
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I love area around White Sands. It is beautiful country. We have been there and NE New Mexico many times through the years – often with a group of Venturers in tow. Worth the drive, IMHO.
Good stuff Hondo. Welcome Home. Would like to make that southern side trip to the coast one day myself. Only driven east to west as far as DFW, then went north by northwest. Saw a number of triple wiggle wagon trains in Nebraska and the Dakotas. Not fun to be behind or try to pass those beasts, especially in rainy/windy weather.
I drove I-10 many times during my days as a Trucker, always loved the Western part! As for the multiple trailers, it depends on where you’re at and the highway. There are California Doubles”, a full truck pulling a short “Pup” trailer, your typical doubles which are 29 foot “Pups” and those in triple are common on Western highways better known among Drivers as “Wobble Wagons” due to the whiplash effect in handling as well as susceptibility to crosswinds (I-80 in Wyoming was the worst for those IMHO). You also have “Rocky Mountain Doubles, typically a 48 foot trailer followed bt a 29 foot “Pup” and “Turnpike Doubles” which are two 48′ trailers.
I’m reminded of the joke about the man who asked a genie to give him a little head.
Or the one who wound up with a foot-tall piano player.
Another stop in Roswell would be at the New Mexico Military Institute, where military leaders have been forged in steel since 1892.