Justin Bloomfield phony SEAL

| July 25, 2018

Our partners at Military Phonies share their work on this Justin Bloomfield fellow from Hereford, Arizona. Justin claims to be a former Navy SEAL, a second generation frog man who likes hideous hats and shirts;

He also likes to play dress-up on Veterans’ Day to get a free meal;

The US Navy has never heard of him, though;

Goofy-looking turd;

Category: Phony soldiers, Valor Vultures

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Grunt

Shitstabber

The Stranger

Butt-nugget

Green Thumb

Dude takes it deep.

HT3 '83-'87

As soon as I saw those ear gauges, I knew he was a fraud.

“Get the hell outta here you half-a-sissy before I give you a slap”

Justin Bloomfield of Hereford, AZ wears silly hats & shirts and like play ‘dress-up’ like a soldier to get his free Grand Slam breakfast at Denny’s. Justin Bloomfield of Hereford, AZ is just a wanna be SEAL and never served…loser!!!

Jarhead

The picture of him standing in line for his “deserved” free meal tells me ONLY one thing about this moron. He may not be a Navy SEAL, but he IS a tit freak! Well, so am I, but I never claimed to have been a Navy SEAL, not even a Christmas seal.

OldManchu

You know the economic rule around the ear guages don’t you…

The bigger the gauge, the lower the wage.

Daisy Cutter

It’s raining fake SEALs this week!

Someone pulled out a butt plug and here they come.

Fjardeson

That should have come with a spew alert.
Damn, almost shorted out another keyboard. Following “no reading TAH comments with beverage in mouth” protocol saved it, though.

Ex-PH2

Don’t start that Donna Summer song, fella.

I’m warning you, if you do, every gay guy in the neighborhood will show up on your doorstep and boogie till they can’t stand up no mo’.

Hack Stone

It’s Raining Men was performed by The Weather Girls, not Donna Summer. The sad part is that I knew that piece of information without having to look it up.

Ex-PH2

See, this is why I don’t listen to stuff on the radio any more. Hack Stone’s recall is better than mine about the 70s to 90s radio music stuff. I had to turn it off or listen to the Chicago Symphony instead, which I still do. The Late Great Pavarotti’s efforts were just fine.

NHSparky

And just can’t boogie no more was actually Boogie Oogie Oogie, which was the duet A Taste of Honey.

Not much good came from the disco era, but that one seemed to hold up pretty well.

JURRASICHM

He should drive a ten penny nail into his forehead to compliment his other decorations.

David

Ears like that make me want to carry padlocks…

A Proud Infidel®™️

I’m sure they’re love handles for his jailhouse husband the next time he gets himself arrested.

HMCS(FMF) ret

Has “cockmeat connoisseur” written all over his dufus looking mug…

NHSparky

In a sock.

USMCMSgt (Ret)

He likes wrapping scarves around his neck to catch splooge that his beard doesn’t absorb.

Maggot.

Keepin' It Real

Justin Bloomfield *thought* that there was such thing as a free meal.

Now he has to pay for it and the currency is shame and embarrassment.

2/17 Air Cav

Scrotum shaver.

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

Lip jewelry and ear lobe plugs, all clear indicators of a US Navy SEAL.

Doc Savage

Those are approach markers for cock jockies….

NHSparky

“Here comes the missile!”

sgt. vaarkman 27-48thTFW

Maybe Justin Bloomfield should contemplate changing his fakery from that of a Navy seal to a “Pirates of the Caribbean” set extra with all those face jewels, then he could make up the tale for all his butt buddies that he blew Johnny Depp.

Also his name tape on his fatigue/BDU shirt isn’t even his name WTF is with that ?

USAF RET

Yeah, he’s rocking the woodlands BDUs…..every homeless hobo’s uniform of choice. What a complete tool

Veritas Omnia Vincit

The hole in his soul must be far larger than the holes in his ears…so large he tries to fill it with lies about what he never was and what he never will be, a man of integrity or honor.

Whenever I see those large ear gauges my first thought is that it makes a great grip for my finger while I beat his face to a pulp….just grab through the ring, pull face towards your other fist and commence a pounding.

Not that I advocate any violence towards anyone at any time and would be very sad to see this man injured in any way. I’m just hypothesizing what might happen in a very hypothetical scenario.

Justin Bloomfield, grow the fuck up you lying sack of shit. Move forward with the truth and stick to that. It’s far easier to remember.

Former EM1/SS

The mnemonic I have always heard is – “The higher the gauge, the lower the wage”

Any bets on whether the scarf is hiding a neck tattoo along the lines of “Yes I’m unemployable”?

NHSparky

You win.

Dipshit doesn’t even display 2.5 LOK. (Level of Knowledge.)

For the unfamiliar, 2.5 LOK is pass/fail line in nuke world. My favorite take was, “Displays 2.5 LOK, recognizes correct answer when spoon fed to him.”

Mr. Pete

“Works well under close and constant supervision”

“Of all the soilders I have met, he is certainly one of them”

SFC D

“Consistently sets low standards and fails to achieve them.”

26Limabeans

“displays excellent manual dexterity while working with others”

JTB

I see he has the cum catcher around his neck…

26Limabeans

tatooed goiter?

Ex-PH2

So many piercings! So little brainpower! And you have to ask why he doesn’t just go with the turtleneck instead.

Doesn’t he know that current camo patterns for SEALs include a neon pink pattern with kittens on it?

Maybe someone could look up the name Finfrock on the BDU name tape and see if there ever was some soul with that name.

jarhead

Finfrock is Portuguese for Re-capped lips.

Ex-PH2

Heeheehee!!!!

SFC D

Hereford AZ. My backyard. Wonder if Justin still tends bar at Applebee’s in Sierra Vista.

Frankie Cee

As usual, I left some love in a message to Not a SEAL, Justin Bloomfield, at Messenger:
“You lyin’ asshole. What makes you phony bitches want to stand in the blood of better men than you to claim the heroics that they have performed? Block me an prove that you are a sissy. Ignore this advice and forever be known at Goooooooooooooogle as a lyin’ shitpile, Why not come over to the “This Ain’t Hell” blog, linked below, and try to unfuck yourself, or to just read what has been found out about the real you. Every comment there, and there will be many, will create a gooooooooogle entry in your name, showing all who might look into you, just what a lyin dope you are. And, what in hell are those gayboi things in your earlobes. LMAO
https://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=80765

A Proud Infidel®™️

He sucketh the cock and then spitteth out yon feathers.

DocV

The larger the gauge, the lower the wage…just sayin’.

DocV

My apologies, EM1/SS beat me to this one.

Daisy Cutter

No apology necessary. Just drop down and give us ten.

It’s on the honor system, so that won’t be monitored. That goes for anyone that double posts, hits the ‘report comment’ by mistake, or a misspelling that changes the entire context of the sentence.

DocV

…and 10! Permission to recover…

Carlton G. Long

One of my favorite proverbs.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

Jumping Jehoshaphat; Seals in the lead so far this week at the TAH starting gate. Looking at his pic, I see that he didn’t put on his best bib and tucker and straighten up to fly right. This shit bird looks like he also doesn’t have a lot of moxie.

A Proud Infidel®™️

Is that rag around his neck for absorbing excess spoo or is it to hide a skinny pencil neck? I’ve seen much better heads on a mug of beer, is that his head or did his neck blow a fart bubble?

NHSparky

ChipNASA needs to see that one.

Combat Historian

I just checked out his facebook. He has a hot looking wife. Does she know that her hubby Justin Bloomfield is a lying sack of shit who never served a single day in the military, much less as a SEAL?

26Limabeans

“hot looking wife”

Trident ballcap does it every time.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66, ARNG 75-77

26Limabeans; Hot looking wife, now where can I buy the authorized Trident ballcap. AH, belay that last question. I don’t want to wind up at the TAH starting gate with all the phonies. Remember when I mentioned the Natl Guard ballcap I bought with the EIB embroided on it and it took me over an hour to remove it

Friend

Wow! The wife knew he was fake and still ate the free meal. How FUCKING sick…

NHSparky

What can you say? She likes free meat.

Friend

Applebee’s tube steak means no meat from Justin Bloomfield fake Navy Seal…

bombstopr

His PM reply to me: “Those are our halloween costumes from last year! !we never claimed he was in the military!sorry if our costumes offended you but we live in a military town and all the guys from the fort liked our costumes last year”

Daisy Cutter

Nah – that’s really weak. Who posts a Facebook profile as a Halloween costume and doesn’t designate it as such? I can see if they were dressed as lions and had a mane and whiskers. I don’t buy it. They are back-peddling and that was their first go-to move.

Frankie Cee

That is the same comment that I got back from Justin Bloomfield, aka dickdrip
He wrote: “Those are our halloween costumes from last year! !we never claimed he was in the military! !we live in a military town !!all the guys from the fort liked our costumes”

SFC D

I’m on the fort. And typing this on a (GASP) government computer. I do not like his costume, especially when it’s dated 12 Nov. Yes Justin, it’s a military town. It’s also a very small town. Word spreads like wildfire. I would suggest you come clean. There aren’t that many bartending gigs in Sierra Vista.

Frankie Cee

ZJustin Bloomfield followed that up with this:
“I’m sorry didn’t mean too offend anyone we just live in a military town and we wear shirts and stuff too let our boys know that we support them and are proud of them and we appreciate all that they do for us.didnt mean too upset anyone!”,/b>
I hit him back about his social media posts regarding Frogman and a BUDs class number. Waiting for that reply.

26Limabeans

“wear shirts and stuff too let our boys know that we support them”

Honor shirts and stuff…check.

Daisy Cutter

It clearly says on the post “Happy Vet’s Day” and it was posted on November 12, the day following Veterans Day. Also, the other people in the photo do not appear to be wearing Halloween costumes.

Friend

Picture frame says “I love my Navy Veteran”

SFC D

Maybe there’s an actual Navy Veteran name Jody nearby.

Friend

Now he says…MY ACCOUNT WAS HACKED..
NEXT: LAWYER

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Translation: I got caught being an assclown and am trying to avoid apologizing for being a lying sack of shit.

Mick

That would be ‘LAWER’ here in the Wild Wide World of Poserdom.

ChipNASA

ANNNNNNDDDD Here’s your TAH Bingo card for anyone that’s playing

We don’t have a “Halloween Costume” square so you should use the center “FREE” square to cover that.

We now include the NEW & IMPROVED
OFFICIAL TAH BINGO CARD®™
/FREE with every deployment of an equal or greater value
The Continent of Insults®™
https://imgur.com/nGqi3aR

Claw

I’m playing along right now, and by my count Justin Bloomfield already has five squares covered on the TAH Stolen Valor Bingo Card. The squares are B-2, N-1, N-3, G-1 and O-1.

Probably more squares to cover as the day goes on./smile

26Limabeans

Oh man, he’s hitting all the squares. Three in the first row alone.

ChipNASA

” Ok I don’t know what’s going on. Anyone who know me truly know I was raised in a military family was in Jr ROTC but never claimed anything..I’ve been hacked or something I’m dealing with it know just fuck what you hear ask me to my face what’s up.”

* OK, SURE*
*rolls eyes*

Mick

Sockpuppet(s) inbound?

SFC D

Foogas primed and ready, safety on.

Mick

Aye.

Standing by to make the ‘Repel Sockpuppets’ call over the TAH Headquarters 1MC.

3/10/MED/b

Getting in late today; Thanks for clearing up that “lawer” issue.

Daisy Cutter

The attorney is in the on deck circle.

NHSparky

Or sends his “wife” in to cover for his sorry ass.

Combat Historian

Well, I’ll give him pseudo-credit for not going with the “I’m a time-traveler and all my records were burnt up in the Great Fire of ’73” excuse. Although I have to agree that the “halloween costume” excuse is a rather pathetically weak one…

SFC D

He’ll claim they were lost when the San Pedro flooded. Maybe they were destroyed in the Monument Fire.

Claw

Never discount the 68 Khe Sanh fire.

Ya gotta remember it was able to time travel and jump entire oceans to burn up records back here in the states.

Claw

Oops, not a fire. All records were lost as a result of Khe Sanh being overrun by the NBA.

My bad.

Daisy Cutter

I’m thinking this was a multi-pronged assault. An arsonist lit his records on fire but just to be sure they hacked his account and spent an incredible amount of time making it appear that it was him. This was all done, of course, to cripple the nation’s national security because Justin was deemed the critical keystone to toppling the government so they had many clandestine professionals from many different fields working in shifts to pull this off. AND, to cleverly erase all trace that they had been there. We are only beginning to sniff the extent of the damage since Justin is our canary in the coal mine.

rgr769

Maybe it was some of them ubiquitous Russkie hackers. Possibly even Guciffer 2.0 hisself.

26Limabeans

Well, he is near the Army’s Information Systems Fort.
I’d go with that.

Frankie Cee

Proving that Justin Bloomfield is a lyin’ cocksucker, the pussy blocked me on Facebook and Messenger. Being a bartender outside Ft. Huachuca, with post members reading and commenting on this site, he will have to be looking over his shoulder and worrying about being called out.

26Limabeans

A poser walks into a bar…

Combat Historian

The guy’s name and rep is now dirt in Huachuca/Sierra Vista. The nearest place he can run to is Mexico. Head south, poser gringo, Nogales and the border is only about 30 miles away. You can achieve a fresh start by bartending in Cozumel and lying to the cruise ship tourists there about your heroic military exploits…///

SFC D

The Naco crossing is closer and much easier

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

Cozumel, Mexico. Last year we were on a Royal Caribbean cruise ship that you could fit just about 2 LPH’S on and we went to Cozumel and my friend liked a bracelet which the store wanted like $300.00 for it so after a little bargining, she got it for less than a hundred bucks. Why do these peeps try and take advantage of the seniors.

Mick

So how long will it be before the first sockpuppet shows up in here?

I’m betting about an hour or so.

Any takers?

HMC Ret

Standing by to repel sockpuppets.

JW

Back in the Naaaam we didn’t wear flags. Isn’t his right shoulder patch pointed the wrong way ? “We want you and your buddy too!” in the Navy!

Claw

“right shoulder patch pointed the wrong way?”

Nope, that is the correct wear (for both shoulder sleeves) with the union advancing toward the enemy, just like you would see it being marched/carried by in a parade.

26Limabeans

Same thing on aircraft.

C2Show

Bloomfield going into Panic Mode. Lil fella forget to delete his veteran photo his wife made. Wonder what she thinks now of his lies?

26Limabeans

He keeps saying “we” but I don’t think we have heard from the wife yet.
Unless he is wearing her clothes…

Ex-PH2

By “we”, he means him and the mice in his pockets.

I’m more and more sure that wifey doesn’t have the slightest idea that he’s been lying his shoes off for quite some time.

Friend

Married 16 years! She knew..

Ex-PH2

I stand corrected, especially after the report up top that she liked the freebie food, too. She is now the lowest farting piglet of all time.

Red Forman

So when SEALS get out of the Navy, they typically become bartenders, warehouse laborers, machinists/mechanics, grocery store clerks, Walmart greeters, mall security guards, waiters, dishwashers, parking garage attendants (and so on)?

(Not that there’s anything wrong with any of those occupations, but it seems to me that former SEALS would have jobs a little more high-speed / low-drag than those.

Hack Stone

Remember the lard ass from NYC who was a Navy SEAL, and use those skills to secure a position stocking the salad bar at Olive Garden. Can’t recall that posers name.

Claw

Jerry Lee, the Queens NY SEAL, exposed on 04 Oct 12.

GDContractor

Don’t forget Alex Popvic, the Subway Sandwich Commando

GDContractor
ChipNASA

Facebook photos now sanitized but not the comments and links to TAH.

ChipNASA

ANNNNNNDDDDD his Book of Face is now GONE,
POOF!!!

Good jerb guys.

Daisy Cutter

They bail water for a while, but eventually they scuttle the ship.

OWB

Hello? Hello? HELLO??? Justin? Is that you Justin???

Late to the party. Again.

Friend

Guess who has a FUND ME for a friend of his illegally here in America…

tsg annabelle

smdh…fucknutt

Sarc88

I always wondered what Gen Zod did after Superman shitcanned him!