A meaningful Thanksgiving poll
I’ll wager that most readers here at [This Ain’t Hell] are just as fed up with meaningless polls as I am. You probably hang up on the endless callers wanting just a few minutes of your time to conduct yet another survey, don’t you? And the result of all this endless polling is that every day of the week, the American public is subjected to the publication and broadcasting of multiple polls telling us that this person leads or that person’s numbers are climbing/declining; Americans love/hate guns; Syrian refugees should be accepted/rejected, on and on until it all blends together into media blather.
Remember when you actually paid attention to the results of a Gallup Poll? Now you hardly ever hear of Gallup; there are so many polling agencies feeding their confusing results into the media stream that it is impossible to keep track of who polled what
With all that being considered, I’ve decided to ask AT’s editor, Thomas Lifson, in the spirit of the season, to allow me to use his conservative flagship for the purpose of conducting a truly meaningful poll that should generate record-setting results for this format. It is a simple, single-sentence poll with a simple yes-or-no response. If you’re reading this, then Mr. Lifson has shown his usual generosity and approved my poll. Are you ready? Here it is:
Should the American people pardon the turkey in the White House?
Please register your vote in the comments section; commentary regarding your vote is encouraged, but please keep profane and scatological embellishments to a minimum.
Thank you for these few moments of your time.
Crossposted at American Thinker
Category: Politics
No. But they should donate the large bird to a homeless shelter to feed the needy.
Instead, the First Family should have one of those “First Lady approved school lunches” for Thanksgiving Dinner – with nothing else to eat until suppertime, which will be a second “First Lady approved school lunch”. Then nothing else until breakfast the next day.
Hondo, I think you may have missed the point of my poll.
Not at all, PT. The “No.” in my comment above doesn’t refer to a bird.
Hondo is Hondo, he misses nothing.
You’re right Woodman, it was just ol’ Poe not reading his comment right. Here’s a Ramirez cartoon that pretty much conveys my intent:
http://www.investors.com/editorial-cartoons/michael-ramirez/782669
Uh why are we allowing livestock judicial prudence to begin with?
Should the American people pardon the turkey in the White House?
No, the turkey should be prosecuted for all the laws he has broken and locked in the worst prison in the country.
Though, they should pardon the bird and eat ham like normal.
The only turkeys that have ever offended me are politicians and self-appointed offended twits. They should not be pardoned.
But the official bird: well, I do like turkey with lots of gravy, stuffing, winter squash, mashed potatoes, green bean casserole, peas & carrots, cranberry sauce, hot dinner rolls w/lots of butter, olives, radishes and green onions, pumpkin pie w/whipped cream, plenty of hot tea and a good movie afterwards.
It’s just the remains of the bird that are difficult, but I find that slicing it, wrapping in plastic wrap and freezing several pounds of it for future use does pay off.
What?!?!?
I like making turkey noodle soup with homemade noodles with the remains, served over mashed potatoes is best but can be eaten just like a regular soup ^_^
My preference with any turkey is that it be stuffed and roasted.
The bird – Yes.
The other one – No.
I say no.
The turkeys just don’t pull in enough of a voting block. Pardons should be judiciously utilized for best bang for buck in vote purchasing.
The jive turkey: NO
The bird turkey: sentenced to brining and a savory apple stuffing
Yard bird No…
Let the turkey go.Feathered lives matter!
Prosecute the gobbler.
No meat on those bones. But, please whack it anyway. Sparing it will give other turkeys the idea that they can emulate the current one and avoid the consequence of being a turkey, not only at Thanksgiving but year-round.
“You probably hang up on the endless callers wanting just a few minutes of your time to conduct yet another survey, don’t you?”
‘Hi, may I please speak with’…CLICK.
When I am being nice (and it happens) I don’t answer at all.
All hail the Blessed Mother of Caller ID!
“Just leave a message,
maybe I’ll call.”
Or do like me when I’m in the mood to mess with someone, I’ll act like some clueless hipster type and somewhere along the line I’ll ask them something like “DUDE, do I get paid for this? OK, then can I borrow $50? – *CLICK!*, and they DON’T call back, works wonders on telepests (*OOPS!*, telemarketers).
Best one I’ve ever heard – and I actually used this once – was to say this when a telemarketer or survey taker called:
“Oh no – you’re caller six. If you were caller seven, you’d have won an all-expenses-paid vacation to Hawaii!
Better luck next time.”
Then hang up. (smile)
I got some India idiot kept calling, I told him to put me on the “Do Not Call List”.
At the third call, I took the phone outside and screamed into the mouthpiece. Never heard from ’em again.
My wife thinks I was cruel. So do I. hehehehehehe
Was his name Tony?
I hear from him often!
George from Pakistan calls too!
Then there is Jerry from Bangladesh.
As for the oversized yard bird, send him to Turkey Valhalla and his remains to me. The apple cider/brown sugar/Simon&Garfunkel Herb brine awaits!
With respect to the turkey.
No!
Do the following:
1. Assemble a gang of very hungry, law abiding citizen patriots to storm the White House grounds (simulate).
2. Save turkey from the clutches of tyranny.
3. Interrogate (water board if desired) turkey, see what intel you can obtain (corn fed or free range).
4. Cut its head off, thoroughly cook and eat it!
5. Enjoy the white and dark meet as appropriate and according to your liking.
Note: No actual turkey was harmed, nor was intended to offend vegans, vegitabletarians and or native gatherers, in this crafting of this humorous response.
MILLIONS OF plants are needlessly slaughtered each year to feed the World’s herbivores, I say eat them in return!! Eat more venison, too!! 😀
Speaking of venison!
Take a guess what I am doing late tonight under a full moon?
Waiting outside Bernasties house to emplace a flaming bag of deer poop?
Nails. Nails this time.
Nope. He is way low on my hunting list. Deer hunting. But I got nothin’. My neighbor did, so venison in about 1 hour from now!
Impeach the Turdkey.
If I read your question right (and I think I do), my answer is empirically NO! Get it off the menu as soon as possible. Don’t leave it in place to stuff itself any longer. It has proffered too many Turkey Laws already, and has less than two years left to destroy all the non-liberal ovens in the country. Get the recipe from the Germans and cook until well done. Then feed to Lars and Mikey.