Rangers’ Chaplain in trouble

| June 17, 2015

Bobo sends us a link to the story of Chaplain John McDougall, who just returned from a deployment to Afghanistan with the 75th Ranger Regiment. According to USAToday, he wrote a book entitled “Jesus was an Airborne Ranger”, that, of course, was taken from the old cadence call that began with that line. He wrote the book because “the Jesus of many churches is a weakling — someone our Rangers cannot relate to.”

So, he wrote about the warrior Jesus, but he made a mistake and appeared in a promotional video for the book while wearing his uniform. That video has since been removed from the web, but that doesn’t satisfy the militant anti-Christ voices;

McDougall should face court martial for promoting his book in uniform, said Mikey Weinstein, who leads the Military Religious Freedom Foundation, a watchdog group. Beyond violating military regulations, the video is a propaganda coup for Islamic State militants and other religious zealots, he said.

ISIS will use the video to convince followers that the United States is waging a Christian war against Muslims, he said.

“This is propaganda of unparalleled proportions for ISIS,” Weinstein said. “This message is going to kill Americans and kill innocents.”

Mikey Weinstein and his little band of donors don’t want religious freedom, they want the military to be absolutely Christ-free. I’m curious about which sins Mikey has committed that he doesn’t want to be judged by Christian standards. Chaplain McDougall cleared his book with the Army, but not the video, and, yes he made a mistake. But a court martial? Really?

If Mikey was really about religious freedom, he’d be defending the chaplain for expressing his views in the book – that’s actual religious freedom. A book about Christ isn’t going to kill US troops – ISIS and al Qaeda will and they really don’t need a book as an excuse. If you haven’t noticed, Mikey, Christians were already being murdered gruesomely before the chaplain wrote the first word of his book just because their prophet wasn’t Muhammad.

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Old Trooper

Little Mikey Whinetit should just FOAD.


We should be so lucky.

AW1 Tim

Lil’ Mikey needs a blanket party to help him get his priorities straight.

Either that, or some serious wall-to-wall counseling.

The Other Whitey


HMCS(FMF) ret.

I bet that if lil Mikey was dropped in the middle of Habibistan and facing some ISIS warriors all by his lonesome, he’d probably be praying to his God (who knows, it could be a head of cabbage he calls “Fred”) to save his dumb ass.


‘a head of cabbage he calls Fred’ = May I borrow that? Helluva metaphor!

HMCS(FMF) ret.

Yes you can…


Did you get that from an episode of “What’s Happening”?

HMCS(FMF) ret.

I remember seeing it back then, but couldn’t remember what show had that episode. Thanks for mentioning it…

A Proud Infidel®™

I thought shitballs like Weinstein worshipped The Great Flying Spaghetti Monster or some hippie critter like that.

HMCS(FMF) ret.

Nah… metrosexual, stanky hipsters like Weinstein worship “Fred” while eating a bowl of tofu Grape Nuts each morning.


Hey! Grape Nuts cereal is pretty good with either milk or yoghurt if you let it soak a bit.

Tofu, on the other hand . . . well, unless it’s in a spicy Korean dish IMO that pretty much barely passes the “Dundee test”.

Pinto Nag

Try a banana with the Grape Nuts, after they’ve soaked a bit. Or dried cranberries.

The best use for tofu is on vegetarian pizza, the kind with spinach in it. That is REALLY good! 🙂


Sorry, PN – IMO “tofu” and any form of Italian food are absolutely and immutably incompatible. That’s true even for such morphed and Americanized Italian food such as pizza.

The only way I’ve ever been able to stomach tofu is in certain Oriental dishes – preferably spicy ones. There it’s tolerable. Otherwise – well, as Croc said when he defined the “Dundee test”: “Oh you can live off it. But it tastes like . . . . ” (smile)

A Proud Infidel®™

I was fooling around with a new-age vegetarian chick one time, and she suggested that I try tofu. I did, first I fried up some nice, crispy bacon and then fried the tofu slices in the bacon grease, it turned out kinda crispy and tasty, and the bacon made a great addition to the sandwich I made with it. She wasn’t impressed, and two weeks later I was chasing a different sweetheart.


The Mrs bought a box of them for me once- she had a coupon. I tried eating them the way a normal person would – with milk. It was like eating gravel/milk. So I let the gravel/milk soak a bit- it was like eating soggy gravel. I never touched the rest of the box. Later, the Mrs ran out of cereal and tried some herself and gave me a hard time about buying it!

Veritas Omnia Vincit

There’s as much evidence for the FSM as for Jesus…so what are you saying?

All the other gods are made up except yours?

There is zero evidence for god that’s why it’s called faith you have to believe in something for which the evidence is exactly the same as for santa claus and fairies and leprechauns.

A Proud Infidel®™

VOV, the FSM is something that Weinstein’s ilk made up to throw in our faces, that’s why I said that.

Semper Idem

Actually, FSM is not an actual Deity. It’s a fiction created by atheists who dispute God’s existence. The idea is there’s just as much evidence for FSM as there is for Jesus, Allah, Adonai, or any other Deity.


I’ll let R. Lee handle this for me.

Hey, MIKEY…..



I spent 3 years .. Airborne and SFTG .. never heard that cadence call!

I tried working the phrase into a call and could not fit it in at all.

Smells like BS


Believe it was the one that began with this stanza:

Jesus was an Airborne Ranger!
You’ll be one too, oh Lordy!
Jesus was an Airborne Ranger!
You’ll be one too, oh Lordy!
Jesus was an Airborne Ranger!
You’ll be one too, oh Lordy!
Look away beyond the Blue!

There were a number of other stanzas, also involving Biblical figures. Some of them are rather . . . coarse (some would say a few bordered on being sacrilegious), so I’ll not quote any more here.

It’s probably been “flushed” in today’s “kinder, gentler, fully-PC” Army.


Jonn, this is the same individual who thinks that something happening in Columbus, OH, is happening “across town” from Indianapolis, IN. His other comments here IMO often seem similarly factually and logically confused.

Old Trooper

He probably has never heard the one that starts out “out popped the Ranger from the coconut grove”, either.

There were others that would be considered verboten, these days, that we ran back in the day, especially the ones with punch lines that involved napalm.


OT: I’d guess you’re right. Or the old song/cadence about Barnacle Bill the Sailor/Ralph the Airborne Ranger – variants using both names appear to exist. (smile)


Infantry cadences in general have never been acceptable anywhere you would find a 91A mos.

Going to a old folks home now, line em up against the wall

charles w

I wasn’t infantry and we sang all the unacceptable ones. Shame what is happening to the military.


Google it junior. You’d be surprised at some of the things we did in the Army before your day.


Not sure his ears (or eyes, if he reads some of the old cadence lyrics) will be able to handle that past, nbcguy54ACTUAL. (smile)


I reckon what happened to that poor yellow bird with the yellow bill would cause our young trooper to catch PTSD…


Could be. (smile)


And then you smashed his …. [little] head?

I’m calling PETA* right now!

*People Eating Tasty Animals



Oh, I hit the “report” button by mistake because I was laughing so hard. Apologies. 😀


I went into the Air Force in 1984. This was right after An Officer and a Gentleman.
We got SMOKED for trying to march to the
Casey Jones was a Son-of-a-bitch….” cadence.
Google it there Baby-san.

A Proud Infidel®™

I joined the Army in 1991 and got my ass smoked raw for trying to do that one in basic, that was when they started sugar-coating shit with limp-dicked PC.

NR Pax

We had an incident at Fort Leonard Wood where we were singing some of the less than sensitive cadences on the way back from chow. One of the Army students reported us for it.

Thankfully, the only thing our Marine liaison did was roll his eyes, shake his head and told us that we had just been chewed out.


Back in the summer of 1995, when we were away from the O-5 O-6 types at USAFA the Chaplin marching with us started up with a rousing rendition of Gumby’s Gay, followed by Napalm sticks to kids.


No shit guys, this really happened.

1982 … Ft. Campbell … one morning I was running company PT because the CO was on leave.

A large formation comes towards us, I begin to sing:

“Look to the left and waddaya see”
“A bunch of limp-dicks looking back at me.”

A captain peels out of their formation and runs up to me to ask my name and unit.

Seems the Division Commander was not amused.

After being chewed out by both my CO and Bn Cdr, my CO shook my hand and said “Good job! Don’t do it again.”

Lesson: be careful of what you say when passing by a formation carrying the Division Flag.


Hell, rgr1480 – we ever meet, I’ll shake your hand for that too! As well as spring for a beer.

After all: you got away with calling a 2-star a “limp dick” when you weren’t wearing at least 2 stars yourself. That’s quite an achievement!


We used to get in trouble at Rucker calling out “WOC, WOC Rotorhead” every time we ran past a group of Warrant Candidates. At least we had some time in grade…


I was quietly corrected by my Drill Sergeant in AIT in 94 because I was singing about Captain Jack:

With this woman….

Because we had women-folk in our formation.

Granted today it would be okay to sing that if you’re all females, just not if you’re males I guess.

Herbert J Messkit

Ft Sill 84. Going between main post and 6000 area when no one was around our drill taught us about that “hypothetical, masturbating son of a bitch Colombo”


The one “Who said the world was round-o”?

Though I heard he was “enterprising” vice “hypothetical”. (smile)


The Captain had a cabin boy, the plucky little nipper!


see the woman in red……..


I knew a girl from …


Sheeesh. They probably have banned “One, two, three, four…. You can’t count to five!” as insensitive to idiots and butterbars.

Dennis - not chevy

I want to be a forest ranger
I want to live up in a tree

HMCS(FMF) ret.

Went to 91V school at Ft Sam in ’84 – living in the barracks and EARLY one morning heard a group of Rangers doing PT in the Parking lot below the room. Roomie (Army Medic type) opens the window and yells at them the following (to the tune of Pop Goes the Weasel):

We don’t go out with girls any more
We act a little stranger
We sit in a tree and play with ourselves
Wee, we’re a Ranger!

They didn’t like his singing…

A Proud Infidel®™

I had a college ROTC instructor who was a Vietnam Vet and SF as well, he wasn’t even the least bit fond of Rangers. His two favorites were:

I don’t go out with girls anymore,
I lead a life of danger
I just sit and play with myself,
WHEE! I’m a Ranger
To the “Oscar Meyer Weiner” song:
Oh, I wish I were an Airborne Ranger
A good little Ranger I would be,
And just like an Oscar Meyer wiener,
Everyone would take a big bite out of me

That was back in 1986 before PC shit infected the Military like it has now, I should have enlisted right out of high school!


I think Weinerstein needs to sit down and have a big steaming cup of STFU . Anyone been in some deep shit ? Someone saw you looking up – and saw your lips moving. We know who you were talking to ….and making promises to . And the Big Ranger In The Sky pulled you through .

Pinto Nag

This is the jody I know of. Running cadence:

“Airborne Ranger got in a fight,
Killed twenty-five men the other night,
With a broken beer bottle
And a dull bayonet
Got drunk then and ain’t sober yet.
Son, don’t ever let God be a stranger,
Everybody knows God’s an AIRBORNE RANGER!”


I can remember at Ft. McClellan right before Christmas in 1987 we sang Jingle Bells which actually works as a march cadence. To this day I can’t stand that song. The one I got in “trouble” for calling at the wrong place on post began “Napalm sticks to kids.”


Mikey Weinstein is a sniveling cunt. I hope he dies in a fire.

Green Thumb

They should leave the Chaplain alone. Correct his mistake and move on. The Army has bigger things to worry about. I bet he was shouting “gay is the way” in the video waving a rainbow flag, he probably would not receive any criticism and would be promoted on the spot.

This Weinstein guy is a turd.

But on the other side, there are several “Holy Warriors” in the military and they get on my nerves.

I had a CG one time that briefed us before we deployed. Dude scared the shit out of the FRG. He should have had a big red cross on his “tunic”. We prayed for something like five minutes. Insane.

Then I once had a CO try to tell me that I should put “going to church on a regular basis” on my OER. Yeah, you heard that right. I do not think so. He got pissed when I did not but ended up leaving me alone.

Two-sides here.


I had one of those when I was a Wolfhound. Heaven (no pun intended) help you if he heard you swear. Imagine trying to keep an Infantry Battalion from swearing.


Oh, dear me. Their ears would be blistered into charcoal if they met me. I have zero tolerance for people for force their personal choices on others (especially me), and I try to be nice, but my patience wears thin and then the things that I say… are so uncivilized. 🙂


Kinda hard to do that when you’re on active duty, Ex-PH2 – and the Bible-thumper in question happens to be your Commander.

Of course, it can be interesting to watch when that same guy happens to work for an even more senior commander who has . . . a somewhat colorful vocabulary. And uses it. (smile)

B Woodman

Suffering not a fool, gladly.
Or something to that effect.


The Military Religious Freedom Foundation and “Mikey Moans When It’s In His Two Hole”, can all kiss my ass in the county square! Fuck them. Most never served and don’t have the balls to. But they want to dictate to our militia our religious dos and dont’s. I agree, the Chaplain could have done his video sans the uniform. But even that leaves a shitty taste in my mouth. A Ranger who served in a combat area with his troops can’t speak his beliefs, not related to our government. But any ass clown out there who finds a Ranger patched uniform in a thrift store can wear it and stand on the corner in Stank Hippie, U.S.A and shit all over the military, religion of any flavor and it’s all free speech.

A Proud Infidel®™

Damn, I wasn’t even wondering just how many of Weinstein’s sniveling snotnosed candyassed booger-eating myrmidons have ever served, fuck ’em all anyway!

A Proud Infidel®™

FUCK Mikey Weinstein to death up the ass sideways with diarrhea-soaked broken glass and dead porcupines. Wrapped in asbestos after he’s been savagely and sadistically ass-raped by a Grizzly Bear with AIDS and the meanassed SOB that was tough enough to give it to him! He and his taint-lusting bum-shitstain ilk scream all over the place at the mention of anything Judeaochristian, but tell us to shut up and “be tolerant” whenever their militant atheism or radical Islam gets shoved down our throats. I bet he’s right alongside the slobbering idiots that revere Jenner and besmirch Chris Kyle, HAVE YOUR LOCAL LIBERALS SPAYED OR NEUTERED!!!


Several years ago, Mikey somehow came across my name and asked me to do all of his grunt work for something. I listened and barely said a word. He went on and on about how helping him would “further your career.” He also mentioned many times that only his name would be out there. As a prerequisite for working with him, Mikey noted that I must go online and buy his book. He communicated with me a few more times, but I never agreed to help him. I also never purchased or read his stupid book.


Well, it was awful nice of him to make sure that you wouldn’t get credit for any of the work that you did just so that you wouldn’t get in trouble.


Just out of curiosity, would everyone be discounting the Chaplain’s actions if this book was extolling the virtues of lowering Ranger school standards so women can pass at a higher rate or some other nonsense?
For the record, I think Weinstein should be strung up by his toes for making this big a deal out of it.
Just curious if everyone would still give the Chaplain a pass if his promotion video was for a book that goes a little further against the grain though.



“Christians were already being murdered gruesomely before the chaplain wrote the first word of his book just because their prophet wasn’t Muhammad.”

NR Pax

Christ, Mikey; you’re a thin-skinned little bitch. How did you survive military life? Hell, my dad was an AF Officer too and he thinks that you’re a pussy.

Pinto Nag

Let’s face something here, though. Christianity has always been an uneasy fit for those of a martial persuasion (“Love your enemies, bless those that curse you…” yeah, I’ll bet that works real well on a battlefield…) That’s as it should be, of course, but the fact of the matter is, the effeminate, soft-handed, doe-eyed image of Jesus — historically accurate or not — is an old one, ingrained in our psyche for at least the last several hundred years. I can see where a warrior who is also a Christian would be compelled to attempt to alter that image of Jesus.


While Jesus suggested turning the other cheek, he only advocated doing so once. After that – game on! And judging by his actions turning the money lenders out of the temple etc., I suspect even He mighta lost count on how many cheeks had been turned occasionally, intentionally or no.


Yep. Jesus was certainly no Pacifist as we know them today. See Luke 22:36.


Pinto Nag

Iconography, and the Catholic Church’s fixation on the attributes of its female saints, is responsible for the “geek Jesus” we know today. As a matter of fact, there is a discourse on that subject on line, written by someone of the Greek Orthodox persuasion, if I remember correctly.

Jesus was, in fact, quite manly. He was a carpenter for something like 30 years. I seriously doubt he was as… delicate…as the 17th – 19th century artwork would suggest!

Veritas Omnia Vincit

I’m kind of with TJ on this one….

it does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods, or no gods. It neither picks my pocket or breaks my leg.”

I don’t believe at all, as most of you know…this guy didn’t seem to be promoting his religion as a government requirement. He made a mistake with the uniform but it’s no real end of the world thing and he’s a freaking chaplain Sky Pilots have their beliefs…it is what it is…

I too have had the officers who were quite solemn in their religion, and questioned my “NO PREF” I refused to pray or kneel for them and sometimes got some shit over it, but I expect that.

In my experience christians piss and moan about anything that doesn’t suit their world view because they’ve been coddled forever by the government…I get that my view isn’t popular and I don’t see this as a huge issue for the chaplain he wasn’t holding discipline over people with his book or his promotion of that book. No real harm, no real foul.

I do enjoy christian hypocrisy though, claiming they shouldn’t have to pay for birth control insurance on the basis of their beliefs but expect the rest of us to subsidize their tax-free churches…now that’s funny shit.

Pay your taxes on your churches per your prophet’s own words and then we’ll talk.


Property tax exemptions are a state call, VOV – not Federal. Take that up with the Mass state legislature.

I believe religious organizations are just another nonprofit 501(c)(3) under Federal tax rules. If so, under Federal tax rules they are essentially treated the same as any other nonprofit, tax-wise.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Some of whom are dangerously close on a regular basis of crossing over into territory of a political nature not normally reserved for 501 c3s…or c4s for that matter…social welfare indeed…


Don’t think that skirting the edge re: political advocacy in 501(c)(3) nonprofits is exclusive to religious ones these days either, VOV.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

No worries, rascals abound in both religion and other ventures on a far too regular basis.

Pinto Nag

The story goes that a local millionaire, who spent a great deal of his wealth in good works in the local area, to include a large donation toward the building of our local Cathedral, was dying. A call was put out for a priest to come and give him his last rites. Having been the rich man’s friends for many years, the Bishop and the local Monsignor hastened to his side. The rich man regained consciousness and saw the two men attending him, and was to have reportedly said to them: “I feel like Christ — dying between two thieves!”

True story!

Pinto Nag

It’s my experience that my fellow Christians render to neither Cesar nor to God, but only to themselves.

My current rampage is against the charities that send those stupid mail requests with a couple of nickels taped to the letter.

Pinto Nag

That would be ‘Caesar,’ I think.


Cesar Romero would beg to disagree. Were he still alive, of course. (smile)


Maybe to Cesar Millan, if one is calm and submissive.


If they sent a SASE, just tape their nickles to the donation form with a note saying “I think you lost these. Oh, and remove me from your mailing list.”


Any time I get coins in the mail, I put them in the cat shelter pig. When that gets full, I take it to the cat people in a jar. They’re happy to have it.

I also take along cat food, bleach, dish soap, fleece remnants from the grocery store, and a box of printer paper and some staples.


I say this as an atheist. Weinstein needs to go eat a big fat bag of dicks.

NR Pax

Thankfully, you can now buy those online and send them to someone.


And in case anyone thinks NR Pax is kidding (possibly NSFW):


The website is called – seriously – “Dicks by Mail”.

You could not make this sh!t up if you tried.


[…] Rangers’ Chaplain in trouble […]

Dave Hardin

Weinstein continues to erode his credibility with people, even Atheists. I have not read the Chaplain’s book yet, but I will. I am confident that the basis of his book can be easily debunked. So what. He should have every right to believe as he wishes and to write about it.

Will Weinstein get just as outraged and demand judicial action when an Atheist writes a book about their military experience?

I don’t have the time at the moment, but I am sure I can find many examples of Atheists, in uniform, making statements about their beliefs.

I did when I was in uniform.


Stating your beliefs in uniform is OK. Selling your book in uniform is not OK. It shouldn’t rise to the level of a Court Martial though.


I’m sure that if the LTC was sporting a beard and a funny hat it wouldn’t have been a big deal.

Just sayin….

2/17 Air Cav

So, let me see if I am clear on this. A Marine (we’ll call him, oh, Matthew W. Simmons) appears in uniform in a gay porno movie and that was okay, but this chaplain is to face court martial? Is that right?

L. Taylor

He either violated the regulations or he did not. Religion should not be an issue in this.

Mike is being a bit histrionic in his claim this video will kill Americans. It could function as a recruitment video because it does support the narrative ISIS is trying to push that this is a war between the “Christian” West and Islam.
Unfortunately is it not just ISIS pushing this narrative. I see this narrative being spouted among US military personal far too often. Members of this forum have also regurgitated the narrative. It is essentially precisely in line with the ISIS narrative and it is not only false but it is troubling that so many American service members and veterans are also regurgitating it. I am absolutely certain that hyper Christianity and Evangelicalism in the ranks, particularly among commanders, is making our ability to manage conflicts in the Arab regions much more difficult. I have seen open anti-Islamic narratives and prejudices be used to influence tactical and even operational decisions.
That is a huge problem for us as a military.

L. Taylor

*personnel and other spelling/grammar errors acknowledged.

Dave Hardin

Their, there, ther’re, your all right. I do all kinds of mistakes even when I get spelling write.


Extending your logic, we should ban all “reality TV”.


We should ban Reality TV just because.

2/17 Air Cav

I get a kick out of some of those TV shows. For instance, when a piss drinker has to traverse some slippery slope safely or fall to his death, I wonder how the cameraman got down there first. Or the police are stealthily closing in on an armed suspect, except that they are bunched together and partially illuminated. Or the show is being taped exactly when a certain phone call is received or an unexpected visitor arrives. The only thing real about reality TV are the commercials.


Loved the old Jeep commercials wherein the characters were discussing how to get their vehicles up to a high crag for a photo shoot and deciding helicopters would suffice. Then they climbed back in their Jeeps to drive back down.

Pinto Nag

And how precisely do you break the link in people’s minds between the jihadists and their religion, their spouting off about killing infidels and turning the world into a giant Caliphate?

Old 1SG, US Army (Retired)

Check out this guy’s bio, it’s very counterintuitive… says he’s a republican and an AF Academy grad, among other things:


Here’s a cadence from the good ‘ol days. Imagine marching by the troop chapel summer of 1976 at Ft. Knox…

– The game was played on Sunday in Heaven’s own back yard…

Jesus was the quarterback and Moses was a guard.

– The angels on the sideline gave out a mighty yell…

When Jesus scored a touchdown against those guys from hell.

– Jesus on the field… (silent or audible: one, two, three) doing G*d damn fine!

BTW, the Chaplain loved it!

Old 1SG, US Army (Retired)

We should all go out and buy the book!!!