I’ll Just Leave This Here . . . .

| May 20, 2014

Man Busted For Trying To Have Sex With ATM
Cops: Drunk suspect, 49, also sought to tryst with picnic table

 

Yeah, alcohol was indeed a contributing factor.  “Contributing”, as in “the guy was plowed“.

Must have been a  one helluva wild night over at the Grand Ole Opry.  (smile)

Unlike the time the guy in Seattle tried to make it with a SUV there doesn’t seem to be video of this little incident. But based on the description and the guy’s mug shot, that’s probably a good thing.

Category: "Teh Stoopid", Dumbass Bullshit, WTF?

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ChipNASA

He looks like a cross between Psul, Dullass, Teh Cheeseslayer and Beastypants.

UpNorth

According to the police report, he accomplished intercourse with the picnic table. I wonder if he had to visit an ER for a splinter problem?

Maddie

Wait, he had sex with an ATM which dispenses money…hmmmm.

John

That would make him a Man-Whore…..AND AN IDIOT.

David

Making it the opposite of sex with a wife

MrBill

Reminds me of an oldie but goodie –

What’s the difference between a sperm bank and a regular bank?

After you make a deposit at a regular bank, you gain interest.

Michael

I’ve used that ATM!!! Way to represent my hometown of Murfreesboro. Idiot. This is how I pictured Bernasty If he shaved off his beard.

nbcguy54

I suppose they’ll have to add a prostitution charge as well….

Sparks

So I go to the ATM and the cash comes out with sticky white stuff on it! Now I know why. Hope I never see this guy. He’s got it coming. 😀

Mustang2LT

Oh yeah, Hondo? I’ll see that and raise you this…..

http://www.myfoxdfw.com/story/25559421/caught-on-camera

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

I have a question.

Exactly what parts of the table and ATM machine did he find so exciting that he decided he must thrust his jimmy at, in or on it?

Just askin’!

jonp

Gotta admire his never say die attitude. I bet the cop just stood there and said to himself “WTF, I’m not going near that asshole I might be next”