Disciplinary Crackdown

| October 25, 2013

I’ll just leave this one here.  You might want to read it when no kids are around.

US Military Cracks Down On Troop Masturbation In Afghanistan

I’m guessing this is a joke.  If so, it’s good to see that the troops still have a sense of humor.  (smile)

And if it’s not a joke:  I think the author of this policy has just self-identified a billet – and an individual – that are prime candidates for elimination during the upcoming drawdown.  They obviously don’t have a meaningful mission.

Category: "Teh Stoopid", "The Floggings Will Continue Until Morale Improves", Dumbass Bullshit, Marine Corps

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ChipNASA

I’m going to call BS on this as it sounds extremely similar to these bogus semen in the shower letters floating around universities.

http://www.brobible.com/college/slideshow/11-examples-clogged-dorm-shower-letter

martinjmpr

I saw that and assumed that someone had seen a Duffelblog facebook posting and taken it seriously.

Besides, it’s been done: Who remembers the hilarious word/picture graphic from early on in the Afghanistan or Iraq war camp? I’m sure you’ve all seen it, a big cardboard sign with a visual of a monkey being spanked, and a chicken being choked. I’m pretty sure that one was authentic.

Veritas Omnia Vincit

Masturbation facilities….the port-a-potties here all smell like week old turds and dead animals, kind of tough to maintain the requisite level of excitement under those conditions, and if you could, well god help you when you get home your woman passes gas and you get a boner…that’s a tough conversation on the way right there….

68W58

No joke-in Kuwait in 2011 during the drawdown one of the battalion commanders proposed a “no whacking it in the barracks policy”, but the Brigade commander had the good sense to overrule him.

James in Gulf Breeze

#3 – new keyboard time!

Roger in Republic

Oops. So it is possible to become pregnant by sitting on a toilet seat.

Ex-PH2

@3 – Please post a spew alert next time! Thanks!

Ex-PH2

I do like the idea of a ‘Jerk-a-burqa’. Who would ever know?

MustangCryppie

@3 Man, now THAT is some funny shit! Oh, my God! I think I busted a rib!

NHSparky

“Tough break for Handjob…”

On another note, the consumption of “patrol socks” taking a nosedive is going to result in a HUGE savings.

2/17 Air Cav

@3. Okay, hold on to your…hats. When I was in a certain LE academy years ago, one of the trining topics was sexual perversions. We all knew something was up when the glass in the classroom door was covered and taped. Well, pass the popcorn, here comes the film. You never heard so many sounds of digust in your life. Well, one series of shots was of (and this is my point) military fellows in shitters deader than doornails. Apparently, the deal was that these guys got off by smells that repulse most of us and, sometimes, they took a crap bath and couldn’t get back out. They were all of the same branch but there’s no need in my identifying it. General Amos has enough problems right now.

MrBill

“Of all the various kinds of sexual intercourse, this has the
least to recommend it. As an amusement, it is too fleeting; as an occupation, it is too wearing; as a public exhibition, there is no money in it.” – Mark Twain

malclave

If true, the ban apparently only applies to the portajohns. So there is that.

Ex-PH2

I think there is a misspelled word in this sentence: They obviously don’t have a meaningful mission.

Shouldn’t that be ’emission’?

Just asking?

I’m surprised at you guys. Here you have an open ended opportunity for endlessly snarky stories about plumbing and ballcocks, and you’re just sitting there like mushrooms on a cheeseburger.

A Proud Infidel

I hafta call “BULLSHIT!” on that. When we were getting ready to leave Kuwait, someone downloaded and photoshopped something like that, posted it in the latrines, and most of those that saw it said the same!

Cliff Clavin

This can’t be right. I’ve never even been to Leatherneck!