Justice Kennedy Regional – Round Two

Support Defenders of Freedom:  Lost in the debacle that was the Tim Poe affair is the fact that he actually did serve honorably in Afghanistan, and really was injured there.  The stories after that were his and only his.  But Defenders of Freedom should not bear the fault for Poe expanding on his record, and they won’t again.  This week I will be honoring DoF, starting off with a meager $10 to help their mission.  DoF sends support boxes to our men and women in uniform, support wounded Soldiers with emergency financial assistance, supports the families of wounded Soldiers and support the USO at DFW Airport (which helped at least one blogger get married.)  So, I hope you will join me and give them a few dollars.  Don’t let the fakers define who we are.

JUSTICE KENNEDY REGIONAL

Now, a slight change.  We are about to open up Round Two of the Tourney.  Just as last week, I will be running one bracket each day.  The winners of each match will advance to the unSweet Sixteen, which will start next week.  So, there will be 4 competitions each day, so make sure you come back and vote.   For the original links, click the name.  To read what I wrote about these guys last week, head to that Regional by clicking HERE.

We begin with the Justice Kennedy bracket:

1 Dallas “Flying Assclown” Wittgenfeld v.
9 Thomas “Rolling Thunder Jackass” Lowry

WITTGENFELD:  Just a wonderful human being all around.  Hero, role-model, man of the people.  Also a racist (“remember what happened to the n***** in the hoody”), ladies-man (“I get plenty of pussy by the way…. I have a stable full”) and scofflaw (“Dallas George Wittgenfeld ‘Thunder Chicken’ was arrested for flying while intoxicated…”)

LOWRY:  Likes to fake horrific injuries, doesn’t fool the men who served with him and showed up in droves to ridicule him.  Apparently thinks he is Dr. Sam Becket: Trapped in the past, Lowry finds himself leaping from life to life, putting things right that once went wrong, and hoping each time that his next leap will be back to when he wasn’t even in the unit, to steal the valor of a brother we lost.  (I double dog dare you to show up at next year’s Rolling Thunder in your costume.)

 

5 Jonathan “The Cock Inhaler” Sharkey v.
4 Larry “The Round Marine” Gugle

SHARKEY: No need to wonder what the offspring of Guy Fawlkes and Ron Jeremy would look like anymore. Most recently Sharkey attributed his fame to This Ain’t Hell:  “Do you not realize, the more you talk about me on yours sites, the better it is for my Hollywood rankings? I say shit at times, just so your little morons will talk about me, and raise my rankings. Oldest trip [sic] in the book. Like I said in one interview – your hatred of me will make me famous and it has. Now I’m getting booked on mainstream shows like The Travel Channel. And I went from an overweight fat beached whale looking bitch, to be having a 30 inch waist and 19 inch biceps.”   New Motto: TAH, helping insane vampire wrestler Presidential candidates get famous on the Travel Channel since 2011.

GUGLE: In the contest of two obese Marines, Guggle proved to be the bigger man.  Technically I guess other dude was fatter, but you get the idea.  Old Master Guns here was outed by Microfiche files that showed he was not in the unit he claimed (1/9 USMC) he was with them.  In fact, despite 7 overseas bars, dude never served overseas.

3 Jason “Prison SEAL” Truitt v.
11 Ronnie Glenn “Wheelchair Security Guard” Eddings

TRUITT: Invented history as a Navy SEAL who had been a POW in Afghanistan and wounded countless times, and all he got was a free hunting trip and a Weatherby rifle.  “What’s the hardest thing about being in the military, people ask me. I simply tell them, coming home. You go through all of these Christmas’s sitting in a foxhole and getting mortared, and people are back home eggnoggin’ by the fire,” he said. “I’ve come to hate the holidays. Every year I have some kind of breakdown around the holidays.”  I hope Santa bringing you a sock filled with batteries, and his litter helpers beat you with it before Blitzen drives his antlers in your arse.

EDDINGS: I wonder if the guide dog knows what an A-Hole his owner is?  Got 100% from the VA for 16 years, from 1994-2010.  A) that was my money you were stealing, and B) that money should have gone to one of my brothers or sisters who was really injured.  Hope he has the biggest angriest cellmate in the prison.  Preferably the 3^rd most dangerous man in the world that whipped Burrell’s ass.

7 Kyle “Dunking Bird” Barwan v.
2 Brian “Wounded Mind” Camacho

BARWAN:  Classification: Animalia, Chordata, Mammalia, Xenarthra, Pilosa, of the suborder Vermilingua, Barwaneses Beak Ridiculouso.  Barwan: “impersonating a U.S. Army Warrant Officer with Special Forces for monetary gain. Barwan would ask individuals for money, stating he was being deployed and was having financial problems.”  I’m guessing none of the funds went towards a rhinoplasty. 

 COMACHO (real name Brian Khan): I just watched his idiotic video, and it was painful.  Luckily the guys at F’n Boot didn’t buy into lines like “I lost too many friends to count” and got the Marine Corps Times to look into it.  According to “Camacho’s” brother, his real name is Brian Khan and  “according to Brian Khan’s brother, Ian Khan, the 45-year-old has never served in the military.  “My brother’s a fraud. He’s obsessed with the Marine Corps but he never went in,” Ian Khan said in a phone interview.”  Well, I’m obsessed with Lord of the Rings, I never claimed to be Aragorn, the true king of the North and Gondor.

Go forth and vote:

Category: Politics