Ballduster v. Lesbian Pirate
He’s a Liberace-in-a-hot-tub-with-Elton-John level ghey Brigadier General in the CIA, and she’s Lesbian Pirate, sailing the high seas looking for some booty on a poop deck, and together, they are the first of our Fecal Four matchups.
If you don’t know their names and stories by now then a) shame on you and b) you can head on over here and just click their names to find out.
Just to add some spice though, TAH semi-official photographer The Sniper managed to get some pictures of these two in their natural environments just to help you decide.
Poll after the jump.
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Category: Politics
You have to go with Ballduster, not many people would think to add the panache of ruling the British Empire.
Ballduster for the win/loss. Only he could make Napoleon look that effeminate.
Well, I once stole the king’s thorny crown.
Sadly, Ballduster’s pic doesn’t look all that photoshopped.
Hey, I find that offensive. Napoleon almost took over the known world. Give the midget Frenchie some credit.
That’s because it isn’t, Ray.
See, I was all on team Balldust, but looking back at the stories, the photoshopping, the eye patch…lesbian pirate created and owned the whole thing. Balldust just played dress-up.
Yarrrrrr!
There’s South Park episode in which Cartman loses his ability to laugh because a fellow with a butt for a head comes to his door and Cartman breaks his funny bone. I can relate. Ballduster McSoulPatch is so funny I can’t laugh about it. I just stare at the name and think, “That is the funniest name I ever heard.”
Ballduster Mcdouchnozzelnfor the win!
I’m just so impressed by LTC Pirate Lesbian Wolf’s tenacity. All those humps she does in the dirt and dust, the firefights, the IED that gave her the power to teleport to a hospital in Iraq after being hit in Afghanistan. Not only am I rooting for her due to her indomitable spirit, but also because I am personally afraid of the consequences if I don’t. She’s the dark horse, but I’m hoping to ride her in for the win.
#10-DirtSquid…..Commenter of the day! LMAO
You just know that Ballduster is kicking himself because he didn’t think of the eyepatch first.
Regarding your desire to ride LTC Pirate Lesbian, DirtSquid, please keep your disturbing fantasies to yourself.
Please forgive me, but “dirt squid” sounds like something Ballduster pulls out of his boyfriend after date night.
The Sniper Says:
October 10th, 2011 at 12:23 pm
Please forgive me, but “dirt squid” sounds like something Ballduster pulls out of his boyfriend after date night.
Ding, ding, ding: We have a winner!!
are you kidding the lesbian pirate!
I mean did you see the LTC’s video. Yeah she used stock photos from different services, but MAN she really kicked ass. I especially love the one of her (with LOTS of frizzy hair) turning to other Marines and ordering to “move their butts” yeah her hair was out of reg, and there’s no sign of a K-pot but MAN what an inspirational story she has! And a lesbian too. Oh the courage of her.
Doc, are you serious? What’s the link for this vid?
Ask and you shall receive.
I’m sorry. I know that I’m in the minority but I have to vote for the Lesbian. Ballduster never tried to post here and threaten us with charges of treason for questioning his manhood.
Ah, and she did post threatening charges of treason and questioning her manhood?
Good point.
STOP THE PRESSES! THIS IS UNBELIEVABLE AND TRULY NEEDS TO BE FEATURED. Okay, I’ll stop yelling but if you have not hit the Sporkmaster’s link and watched the video, you will not–I say again–you will not vote for Ballduster after you do so. It’s the Lesbian Pirate (who is funny no more) in a video. You gotta see it.
I have to agree AirCav and Doc Bailey. Ballduster is up there with All-Time Fakers, but the Pirate’s video is just insane. I had seen the photo-shopped picture before, but I had never seen the entire presentation. It has to be the most INSANE thing in the history of PowerPoint. Did she really think ANYONE would believe that? Afghan casulties being med-evac’d to Iraq? “Her Marines” wearing Army and British uniforms? Even the kids I went to middle-school with that were 100% certain that Pro Wrestling was real, would laugh at that piece of steaming waste.
Holy fucking shit. I revoke my vote for Ballduster and give it to the “Lt. Col.” I’ve never seen anything so disgusting in my life. I swear! If I could get my hands on her I’d tear out the eye and her fucking brain. Beyond my comprehension as a human being. Your right 2-17…funny no more. How do we kill her?
Honor and Courage
Lesbian pirates versus butt pirates.
Aaaarrrrrgggghhhh…shiver me timbers.
Wait…can I take back my vote? HOLY SHIT.
Midshipman Tregga? Since when are middies fighting in the ‘Stan, wearing Brit uniforms???
OK…now that I’ve rewatched it and freeze framed most of it…I think someone is having fun with us old geezers…Sporkmaster???? “No Blog for Old Men”. As McArthur said on Corrigador….”Men, I think we’ve been had!” If so….great job.
Honor, Courage, and a sense of humor.
I am dumber for having watched that crap. That is the laziest excuse for a fake ever. Not sure I am even pissed, just confused. I am sticking with Ballduster because that shit was just retarded.
That slide show was the dumbest thing Ive ever seen.
Strange that video is what originally showed that she was a fake.
I TOLD YOU! Ball duster may be a butt pirate, who looks FABULOUS as a general. . . But her video was on the order of Soupy! hell I actually think she out does soupy because she actually was know to beat up her own ass. I mean really if this is a list of biggest losers beating yourself up to get a sympathy vote for a tangential “gay” issue. . . WAY more of a shitbag that a PX ranger.
Until last evening, I regarded both Lesbo Pirate and Ballduster as nearly innocuous fools. But then came the link to Lesbo’s feature video, something I had not previously viewed but had seen stills from here. That video, like the Lesbo, seemed silly, stupid, and amateurish at first. But that changed with two particular scenes in the video. One showed a severely wounded person in an O.R. and the caption claimed the patient to be Lesbo Pirate. The other, the one that turned my stomach and boiled my blood, displayed the flag-draped coffins of our fallen on a transport. I could write a ream about that but I don’t have to here. You folks get it without explanation from me. If you want to become enraged, see Comment 19 (Sporkmaster) for the link. Then go vote—or go vote again.