First Round – Senior NCO Division

Today’s lineup: Soup Sandwich, a wide load, a heavy drop, a glider king, some snake eyes, a safety director SEAL, a Vietnamese Immigration Officer and Captain Stubing’s Evil Twin.

We begin, as always with yesterday’s results:

Game 1: Soup Sandwich v. Wide Load

(1)  MSGT Soup Sandwich – Nick Androsky

Claim:
We might never have known about the heroism of our second-overall seed were it not for one brave individual at RTB who emailed us a picture of Soupy when he showed up for his stepfather’s graduation from basic training at Fort Benning dressed like General Patton. I don’t have enough space here to detail all of his ribbons and awards, but it is safe to say he’s the only AF guy around with 3 CIBs, 2 CMBs, Air Assault and Airborne.

Truth:
He had about 17 rows less ribbons. Discharged as an E1 after court martial for drugs. Lots of drugs. And not like Flintstone chewable ones.

VS

(8)  Wide Load Karl – Oliver Karl

 

Claim:

The best way to show you his lies would be through interpretive dance.  But, since I can’t do that right now, I think it would be best to simply show you the Facebook discussion which I have edited to get the full retard effect, without some of the hilarious other comments.

 

 Truth:

Shockingly, no record of his MOH and Navy Cross exists, but, if they ever start giving them out with the proof of purchases from HoHo’s, this dude is probably money.

 

Game 2: Glider Man v Heavy Drop Clark

(4)  Glider Man – Willie Williams

Claim:

Willie came to our attention when he wore the above at a political rally for (now) President Obama.  It would take 17 years to go through all his medals here, but the most important aspect is he is wearing a glider badge (which closed in 1948) and an Outstanding Volunteer Medal which didn’t come into existence until 1992.  Addionally, he is wearing  both Army and Navy Ribbons.

Truth:

Willie actually was a hero, he just wasn’t entitled to all that he was wearing.  As Jonn wrote at the time:

Well, it took a month, but we’ve finally got Willie’s records and actually, he had quite an impressive career in the Army. He had several tours in combat as an infantryman in the Dominican Republic and 2 tours in Vietnam. He earned four Bronze Star Medals – all for merit and none for valor even though he’s wearing the “V” on his bronze star – and a Purple Heart in 1968.  His tours in Vietnam were with the 101st and the 173rd in ’68 and ’70 respectively – both were airborne units.

Willie stayed Airborne the whole 25 years, except when he was in Korea where he was in a Quartermaster laundry unit, the 101st and the 173rd in Vietnam and most of his time stateside was with the 101st and 82d – he even PCS’d to Germany for 13 months in 1958-59 with 1/504th to Germany when the unit PCS’d en masse . He went to Escape and Evasion School (the predecessor of SERE School) and the 82nd Division Raider Course (predecessor of Recondo School) – so it’s beyond me why he decided he needed all of the other stuff to pump himself up. And he was only 5’5? and 123 pounds – he was the original Little Billie Badass.

VS

(5)  Heavy Drop Clark – William Clark

Claim:
Clark has served 20 yrs in the Army, and he just came back from a 49 month deployment from Afghanistan. He goes back and forth all of the time on “Special Missions”. A Captain, among his awards and qualifications are Special Forces Qualification, Ranger Qualification, Airborne Qualification, Combat Infantryman Badge with 2 stars, Senior Parachutist Badge, Air Assault Badge and Military Police Badge.

Truth:
From an article detailing Heavy Drop’s latest arrest:

In 2002, Clark spent 2 1/2 days posing as an Army officer at the scene of a bridge collapse in Oklahoma that killed 14 people. He ordered around FBI agents and even performed media interviews before he was discovered. He received a 70-month federal prison sentence for that incident.

The 2002 impersonation is just one highlight on a list of Clark’s activities. A month after his release in 2007, he called a Russian embassy claiming to be part of a U.S. Special Forces squad planning to assassinate Russian Prime Minister Vladimir Putin.

In February 2008, Seattle police pulled Clark over for driving a vehicle without license plates. A military uniform was found in the car, and Clark claimed to be a military police officer, but couldn’t provide documentation.

So yeah, he’s crazy.

Game 3: Snake Eyes v. Director Lloyd

 (3) Snake Eyes – Steve Jordan

Claim:

A SF 1SG with “U.S. Army Spec Ops. (APO Wolfpack)” Snake Eyes “loves to kill terrorists when they try stupid shit.”  Just to give you an idea of his online heroism, this picture pretty much tells it all:

Most recently Steve is now claiming to be a Cav Scout Master Sergeant with A Troop, 5/117th NJANG.

Truth:

Steve is into some weird stuff.  He’s an amatuer porn star, into going to Steampunk and gamer conventions, and is the head of the NJ “dress like a stormtrooper” group for his Star Wars hobby.  There is no record we could locate of him being in the NJANG, and are awaiting a DD214, which I’m guessing we will never get.  He has been arrested for carrying around imitation weapons, which is probably what he is carrying above in his attack on rural New Jersey homes.

VS

(6) Safety Director SEAL – Mickey Lloyd (Cobb County GA Public Safety Director)

Claim:

From an article about him:

He claimed he was a “gunner’s mate and a SEAL in a sister unit to John Kerry’s unit.”

“He talked a lot about being a part of the Riverine task force,” Lnenicka said. “He told me about his disgust for John Kerry because Kerry ordered his men to withdraw while under fire without picking up the bodies of American soldiers who were left behind.”

Lloyd gave the county HR department a DD 214 form on March 22, for retirement incentive purposes, showing Lloyd earned the National Defense Service Medal and the Vietnam Service Medal.  That DD 214 has those two medals listed plus the Presidential Unit Citation, the Navy Unit Citation, the Combat Action Ribbon, two Bronze Stars and the Silver Star.

The word “citation” is also misspelled on two award listings.

Truth:

Yeah, a fraud:

After meeting with his boss, Cobb County Manager David Hankerson, on Wednesday, Lloyd insisted he was not a fraud and that he earned Silver and Bronze Stars for valor in the U.S. Navy.  But his official Navy records do not show them and he admits he has no documents to prove them.

He also admitted that he was never a Navy SEAL and was never awarded two Purple Hearts for wounds, despite them being listed on his official county resume.

He resigned. 

Game 4:  Captain Stubing’s Evil Twin v. Vietnamese Immigration Officer

(2)  Captain Stubing’s Evil Twin – Gunny Lauve

Claim:

A Marine Sergeant Major, Gunny Lauve served in WWII, Korea and Viet Nam.  During that time, he was awarded the Navy Cross, and five purple hearts.  His service in WWII included Guadalcanal, Iwo Jima, Wake Island and Saipan.  In Korea, he fought at the Chosen Reservoir. 

 

Truth:

Never served in the Marine Corps.  Never served in WWII.  Never served in Korea.  Never served in Viet Nam.  No Navy Cross, no purple heart.  Was a washout of Naval Basic Training after roughly 2 months.

VS

(7)  Vietnamese Immigration Officer – De Hieu Tran

Claim:

A Marine Corps Officer, apparently Tran wore a purple heart medal around.  Tran…”was dressed in a U.S. military flight suit and was wearing the rank insignia of a USMC captain.”   When confronted, “Tran stated he was a Marine and responded that he was based at Camp Lejeune, North Carolina.”  There is also “a video of Tran in his “Dress Blue” uniform while speaking before a gathering of the Vietnamese community at the Michigan Army National Guard Armory in Wyoming earlier this year.”   He also claimed to have just finished his 4th tour in Iraq.

Truth:

In addition to his moonlighting as a Marine, he also claimed to be an immigration official.  According to a later article in the newspaper about his arrest:

Tran has not worked for ICE nor was he a member of the U.S. military, authorities said. Records showed he is a citizen of Vietnam and was ordered removed from this country in 2002.

Ferndale police told federal officials that Tran was arrested in 2009 for wrongfully wearing a military uniform and claimed he had just finished his fourth tour in Iraq, records show.

Records show Tran is charged with: impersonating a federal agent, a three-year felony; wearing a Purple Heart without authority, a one-year misdemeanor; and wearing a military uniform without authority, a six-month misdemeanor.

 

So, with that done, it is time to vote in the final ballot of our first round:

Category: Politics