NASCAR Names Obama ‘Rookie Driver Of The Year’
Daytona Beach, Florida (AP) – In a stunning move, and mirroring President Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, officials at NASCAR’s headquarters in Daytona announced today that they would be awarding the president the racing organization’s ‘Rookie Driver Of The Year’ award. A spokesman for NASCAR was quoted as saying, “Considering what the president has done for the American auto industry this past year, we felt he deserved this honor”.
When questioned on the fact that President Obama doesn’t race in NASCAR and isn’t even a fan of the sport, the spokesman noted, “If them Nobel people can give the president a medal for peace when he’s getting ready to send more troops into harms way, we see no reason why we can’t make him rookie of the year even if he thinks we’re all a bunch of Confederate flag waving racists.” When contacted for a response, the White House issued the following statement:
“President Obama is honored to accept the NASCAR award for Rookie Of The Year. As a close personal friend of Ricky Bobby, the president is well aware of the embedded American values of competition and wholesome recreation that NASCAR represents. Additionally, President Obama shares many of the same tastes as the fans of the sport and has even sipped on a PBR once when the local convenience store was out of his usual imported brand. Over the years, NASCAR has shown the ability to change with the nation and the president recognizes what a singular honor this award is. In fact, one of NASCAR’s greatest influences on the president can be summed up in the following; go fast, turn left.”
Fan reaction has been mixed. One man from Charlotte stated, “Well hell, if they’ll let that queer Jeff Gordon race a car, I guess it don’t make no nevermind that they give rookie of the year to some colored guy who don’t even drive him own self around.” Another NASCAR fan disagreed, saying that she thought that the president probably doesn’t even realize that NASCAR isn’t a community organization. “Maybe if NASCAR hired a few hookers and some undocumented day laborers, it might be better, but I don’t think the president understands what NASCAR is all about.”.
Category: Barack Obama/Joe Biden, Satire
Good job, Claymore! Obama is just as qualified to be NASCAR’s Rookie of the Year as he is to receive the Nobel Peace Prize!
In recognition of this latest of Obama’s achievements, in the upcoming census, when it asks us for our race, we should all write in “NASCAR”.
Dammit, you gotta stop doing that!!! Twice today you caused me to destroy a monitor, and they ain’t cheap. This morning I read about bammy being an ignoble prize winner … 1st monitor destroyed. This evening I read about obammy being rookie of the year … 2nd monitor thrown out the window. You are beginning to cost me too much damn money!!! Not to mention the four nitro pills I had to take … !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
***Updated*** Cooperstown Inducts Obama into the “Hall of Fame”; Playoffs and World Series Canceled. Cooperstown, New York (AP) – In a stunning move, and mirroring President Obama being awarded the Nobel Peace Prize, officials at Major League Baseball headquarters in Cooperstown announced today that they would be inducting the president into the Major League Baseball’s Hall of Fame. Not to be outdone, Bud Selig, Major League Baseball’s commissioner canceled the current playoff’s and declared President Obama the winner of the 2009 World Series, and named him the Most Valuable Player and Cy Young Award recipient. Selig was quoted as saying, “Considering what the president has done for the Baseball as well as his opening pitch during this year’s All-Star Game, we felt he deserved these honors”. When questioned on the fact that President Obama was not a professional baseball player and even considered by some as questionable fan of the Chicago White Sox after calling the locally adored Cominsky Park as Cominsky “Field”, Selig noted, “If them Nobel people can give the president a medal for peace when he has not created or facilitated any theoretic or actual peace, we see no reason why we can’t make him MVP as well as the World Series winner this year even if doesn’t even know the name of the place where his team plays.” When contacted for a response, the White House issued the following statement: “President Obama is honored to accept the World Series Trophy, as well as the awards for Most Valuable Player of The Year and the Cy Young Award. As a close personal friend of Mike Ditka, the president is well aware of the embedded American values of competition and wholesome recreation that Baseball represents. Additionally, President Obama has never made it a secret that he is an avid fan of the Chicago White Sox and has accepted his victory on behalf of everyone who has ever hoped that the White Sox would finally break the Curse of the Billy Goat.” Fan reaction has been mixed. One man from Los Angeles stated, “Well hell, if they’ll let that… Read more »
LMAO!! I love it….classic!! 🙂
Next up, Obama will get a Medal of Honor! ha!
It dont matter he didnt serve a day in the military….he didnt serve a month in office when he won that stupid Nobel Peace (of Shit) Award….he can take it and stick it up his lying a$$….
Obama needs a restrictor plate on his big mouth.
Proof:
Excellent! I think I WILL put that on my census form – NASCAR – after all, the census is to count noses at addresses, not color of noses.
It’s a good thing I didn’t have a mouth full when I read that. There would be one more wet monitor.
This just in: Obama wins the Heisman Trophy after watching a college football game!!!
You know, my family refused to believe that Obama won the Nobel Prize when I told them about it. They thought it was a joke or an Onion article I was trying to tell them about.