Football Player Scores 21 TDs in One Half, BUT…

| November 6, 2019

The website GrownMenStuff.com reports that a 31yr old man self-identifies himself as a 10 year old PeeWee Football player and smashes all kinds of records by scoring 14 running TDs and 7 passing TDs – all in just the first half.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it didn’t end with Rachel Dolezal and Liz Warren, it was only the beginning of self-identity politics.

A local 31yr old man is getting a lot of media attention in Wichita Falls, Texas. The reason is because the 31yr old has identifies himself as a 10yr old pee-wee football player. Marvin Burks first identified himself as a 10 year old last year and tried to enroll into Barwise Junior High.

After not being able to enroll into Barwise Junior High, Burks signed up for pee-wee football. His argument was that he identified as a 10yr old football player. After all, other sports were allowing it as well. A man recently identified as a woman bicyclist and smashed the all time record. So how was this any different?

Burks play resulted in 126 of 129 points – no mention of who scored the extra points – and the first half ended as 129-0.  He was taken out for the second half so the team *cough* didn’t run up the score.

I bet the college scouts are drooling all over themselves.

This article may be satire but it was hard to tell with the other stories they put out on this website.  They don’t advertise as an Onion.com.  If it turns out to be satire, it fits with the mainstream media nowadays where it doesn’t matter if it’s true… it plays.

Category: "Teh Stoopid", "Truth or fiction?"

Comments (15)

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  1. David says:

    well, he’s either a tremendous douchenozzle or making a brilliant commentary on identity politics.

    “The Crazy Years” indeed.

  2. MustangCryppie says:

    Uh, read the comments at the link.

  3. Comm Center Rat says:

    “You can’t stop him, you can only hope to contain him.”

    ~ Anonymous opposing PeeWee middle linebacker

  4. ninja says:

    Sorry, Steve Balm, but here is ninja’s perspective on the post, i.e. THE REST OF THE STORY.

    *smile*

    Several things in this story that gave it away as either “Satire” or “Fake News”:

    (1) Article states “Marvin Burks” went to Barwise Junior High.

    If I am not mistaken, the term “Junior High” has been replaced by the term “Middle Schools” and has been for a long time, perhaps going back to the late 1970s to 1990s.

    (2) “SHARKS 1” in the picture is actually Cam Newton of the Carolina Panthers. It was taken from a February 2017 Buick Commercial. SEE THE VIDEO BELOW.

    (3) “Marvin Burks” is actually a Fake Name given to Junior Running Back Football Bill Jackson who played for the Cardinal Ritter, a college prep school in St. Louis, MO. Jackson was ruled ineligible for the first game of the 2019 season after being ejected from the school’s Class 3 state championship game in 2018.

    Cardinal Ritter faced Nazareth, another Private School, to open the season on August 31. During the game, Jackson, who usually wears No. 4, was spotted wearing a No. 24 jersey, but was identified on the roster as freshman Marvin Burks.

    You can find the rest of the story here. The story is true.

    “UNDEFEATED FOOTBALL TEAM FORFEITS ENTIRE SEASON, FIRES COACHING STAFF AFTER INELIGIBLE PLAYER PRETENDED TO BE ANOTHER STUDENT IN SEASON OPENER”

    https://www.newsweek.com/undefeated-football-team-forfeits-entire-season-fires-coaching-staff-after-ineligible-player-1466675

    Here is the Buick Commercial:

    • sbalm says:

      I probably got duped.

      I checked around the website and there was nothing that indicated it was satire so maybe they got duped as well.

      • ninja says:

        I noticed the article was listed as “Entertainment” under the GrownMenStuff site.

        You didn’t get duped. It was a good tongue-in-cheek article, similiar to DuffleBag and The Onion articles.

        If you only knew how many folks believe some of the DuffleBag articles.

        It’s all good.

        You provided us a great laugh today. Thank you for being a good Sport and I apologize if I came cross as a Know-It-All.

        😊

    • ninja says:

      Steve Balm commented :”If it turns out to be satire, it fits with the mainstream media nowadays where it doesn’t matter if it’s true… it plays.”

      Spot on. He nailed it.

      👌👍👏

      • 5th/77th FA says:

        ^word^ When I FIRST started reading this post I was scratching my watch and winding my azz, thinking dahell? As I am prone to do, I clicked on the linky for the rest of the story, reading, still thinking “somebody pulling somebody’s leg.” Comments verified it as a spoof. Sad thing is, it won’t be long before somebody claims this and it is allowed to happen. Grrrrr.

        ninja…”I apologize if I came across as a Know-it-All.” Hell, you ARE a Know-it-All. And what you don’t know, you look up and accurately report. Keep it up!

        😀 😀 😀

        • Cameron Kingsley says:

          There was a former high school basketball player previously mentioned here that pulled something like this after Hurricane Harvey. Of course the school was duped and what blew his cover was his former coach who recognized him and turned him in. But as you said, how long before this becomes the norm? I wonder when women who perform in combat sports will have to start writing their own wills out before performing because they can potentially end up completely brain dead if not outright killed.

  5. Roh-Dog says:

    I self-identify as a guy who thinks this is not only possible, but inevitable. My personal pronouns are ‘leave me alone’ and ‘I hate what the lefties have turned my country in to’.

  6. Green Thumb says:

    Easy access to kids.

    Fucking ticklemonster.

  7. I heard that a High School foot ball coach was let go because his team scored too many points in a game. Forgot where this took place but heard it mentioned on the radio the other day.

    • The Al says:

      Arizona, if it’s the one I’m thinking of. If it is, here’s the story: https://www.foxnews.com/sports/football-coach-resigns-running-up-score

      • Mason says:

        What in the actual fuck?

        Coach gets fired for winning a game? How can you “run up” the score? Isn’t the whole point?

        Not only that, but the team has only won three games this season! They’re not out destroying everyone. The school literally wants their players to be losers. Way to go school. Teaching the important lessons in life. The Chinese are going to rip these kids apart.

        • Cameron Kingsley says:

          I remember seeing an article on Fox News quite a few years back about a middle schooler (I believe, been a long time), who was banned from scoring touchdowns because he was too fast and was real good at scoring them. What the hell? I remember the story striking a particular cord with me because of how stupid it was. Here the kid has real talent and he can’t even exercise it to its full potential since it wasn’t allowed by the school and simply because it wasn’t fair. Idiot school faculty. I think it’s more unfair to the kid.