Weekend Open Thread – Yer Friday Funny: Bluey the Parrot

| August 23, 2019 | 78 Comments

Parrots are long-lived birds. And like a few other birds, they can mimic human speech.

Whether or not they understand any of what they’re saying when they mimic human speech is open to question. However, sometimes events occur which make you wonder.

Like the story of Bluey the Parrot.

. . .

Bluey was a blue-and-gold macaw. He was owned by a zoo on the Isle of Wight.

During the 1990s, Bluey was a part of a regular show the zoo put on for the public. His “act” was to do simple arithmetic.

Bluey was fairly proficient at his task. And all was well.

Until one day, well, things weren’t so well any more.

. . .

During one day’s show, Bluey made an error in his arithmetic. Bluey’s handler told him he was wrong, and (presumably gently) scolded him.

Apparently Bluey didn’t particularly like this. So he proceeded to tell his handler – to use a Biblical phrase – to “Go forth and multiply.”

Well, that was the gist of Bluey’s comment. The actual language used by Bluey was decidedly non-Biblical. Bluey’s actual comment was quite, well, “blue” – and included words that many of the children in attendance had probably never heard before.

. . .

Needless to say, this caused a problem for the zoo’s management. But they didn’t want to cancel the show, and Bluey was an integral part of it. So they tried to teach Bluey not to use coarse language. They even brought in an elocution teacher to try and correct Bluey’s language.

Bluey would have none of it. He told the elocution teacher essentially the same thing he’d told his handler during the show.

After a while, the zoo’s management gave in. The show continued – but without Bluey. Bluey was retired from the show and lived out the remainder of his life at the zoo without any assigned duties.

The moral of the story: sometimes giving your boss a piece of your mind actually pays off. You just gotta choose the proper time and situation. (smile)

. . .

OK, enough humor for today. Enjoy the WOT, everyone – and the weekend.

—–

Author’s Note: source for the above story is Uncle John’s Canoramic Bathroom Reader, Bathroom Reader Institute, (Bathroom Reader’s Press [a division of Portable Press]: Ashland, OR, 2014), p.318. And no, they didn’t make the story up.

Just in case anyone was wondering: yeah, it appears Bluey was owned by a sailor before the zoo acquired him. (smile)

Category: Humor, Open thread

Comments (78)

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  1. ChipNASA says:

    FIRST!

    Steve Balm was trying to fake us out.
    LOL

  2. ChipNASA says:

    5 FIRSTs at 1:04.

    Mine ladded and then said “DUPE”

    GOTDAMN IT! !

  3. 5th/77th FA says:

    BAM!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE THAT YOU DICKWEEDS!!!!!

    FIRST…. Told you I’d be back!!!!!!!!!!

    KING of Battle RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!

  4. Haywire Angel says:

    Happy Weekend Everyone!!

  5. Roh-Dog says:

    Congrats FA!
    Have a great weekend yall!
    If you ain’t watching the (real) news, here’s an update: sh*ts f**ked up.
    Work your preps, please.
    Long live the Republic!

  6. Thunderstixx says:

    In all seriousness, and I mean real life seriousness…
    I have been working with my daughter in her ten year fight with the VA to recognize the fact that her four surgeries on the foot she broke in the US Army at Ft Bliss have failed and she deserves a higher rating than 40%…
    I was so pissed off I called the White House Hotline for VA Claims and got them working on the claim…
    Six weeks to the day later her rating increased to 70% with back pay coming as well as has already been received.
    If you or someone you know is having difficulty with the VA on anything legitimate, call them…..
    It would appear that someone got a fire lit under their ass and fixed the whole thing…
    This kid is my hero. she has had a constant level of pain on a 0-50 scale of about 45 and has totally wrecked her career as a manager of a bar/restaurant and pretty much anything else. That level of pain is well documented in her file…..
    I can’t say anything more about it except I called the White House Hotline and they got that son of a bitch right !!!
    Thank you to them and the caring lady I spoke with.
    I was honestly terrified that I would lose my baby after dealing with that much pain for over 10 years…
    Thanks also to a loving God that walked with her through the pain and suffering she has endured.
    She is now in the care of the Mayo Clinic and not the VA anymore, with the exception of other counseling….
    Here’s the number, call them if you need to, they WILL help…..
    Toll free, 855-948-2311

    • STGCS Ret says:

      So glad to hear that your daughter was finally taken care of- Sometimes all it takes is getting a person that actually gives a crap about others and does the right thing.

    • Aysel says:

      thank you for posting the number, my husband needs to call it….

      • Thunderstixx says:

        They are open 24/7 and enjoy doing it, you can hear it in their voices when you talk to them
        I talked to them the first time for about an hour explaining the situation and what I wanted to happen.
        They politely took her number and my number and went about their business.
        I got a call about two weeks after the original call and was informed that they were now going to shepard the claim through the bureaucracy…
        And they did, six weeks later, almost to the day we got the notification from the VA and things are now looking up.
        The Milwaukee VA took very good care of me as did the Houston and Austin branches too.
        The Milwaukee VA Hospital saved my life, literally three times and my soul at least twice.
        The Madison VA leaves a load of shit to be desired…..
        The tale is not finished, but please tell your husband to call them, get the paperwork together and call ASAP, they are open 24/7 and will help in pretty much all matters of the VA Claimants.
        Don’t be shy about sharing this number. There are a lot of things they can help with and with us losing a lot of Veterans to suicide every day, it can’t be too soon…

    • Graybeard says:

      Good!

      Sometimes it takes a stubborn SOB to keep kicking until someone does the job right.

      I pray your heroine gets the underlying issues fixed and her pain reduced by real doctors, and please pass on that she has a load of folks rooting for her in the TAH corner.

      God bless you and your daughter, Thunderstixx.

    • Friend says:

      Did you sent it to Reagan’s attorney wife? LOL.. 🙂

  7. 11B-Mailclerk says:

    A Pet shop in Huntsville GA (next to FT Stewart) had a beautiful and very old Macaw, mostly bright red. She never said much to strangers, according to the manager. I walked up wearing a bright red shirt, and the bird called “MAMA!”

    At the top of her considerable lungs.

    Anytime after that, I got her whole bag of tricks. If I wore some other color, she was more subdued, but still was conversational.

    Cool bird.

    • ChipNASA says:

      “Brest feeding her must have been pretty painful.”….

      😀 😀 😀 😀

      *runs away, giggling*

      • 5th/77th FA says:

        Daaaayyyuuuum! Literally falling off the bar stool laughing my a$$ off. Bartender, give ChipNASA whatever else he wants to drink… Put it on my tab.

        My vocabulary can be as colorful as Bluey’s, my math skills…not so much. I gotta get nekkid to count to 21 and sometimes can only get to 20 and a fraction.

        Kudos to the White House VA Line for getting our Brother Thunderstixx’s Baby Girl taken care of. Didn’t our current Commander in Chief set that line up or did he just make sure it got to working properly?

    • Hondo says:

      Well, at least someone read the article . . . . (smile)

  8. Commissioner Wretched says:

    Sigh … missed another first. I may as well give up.

    (Yeah, like that’s going to happen.)

    Anyway, here’s this week’s trivia … I’m kicking around the idea of collecting these columns into a book. Do you all think it would sell? Enjoy!

    DID YOU KNOW…?
    Did a baseball player once hit the same person with foul balls twice in the same at-bat?
    By Commissioner Wretched

    With school back in session, you know what’s happening now, right?

    Football.

    High school football, to be precise.

    Where I come from, football is one sport, but not *the* sport, if you know what I mean. Most high schools in northern Illinois field very competitive football teams, but their baseball teams – and some ice hockey teams – are much better received.

    Here in the South, however, as I’ve mentioned in these pages, there are really only two sports – football and basketball. Baseball as a high school sport is something of an also-ran, and soccer – that import from Europe – is actually becoming more popular with high schoolers.

    Nothing, however, compares with high school football on a Friday night. Even I, someone who really doesn’t like football, can enjoy the fun and camaraderie of a high school game in person.

    I don’t, but I can.

    And that’s a lot like enjoying trivia, you know. You can enjoy it for what it is, or for what you can make of it tomorrow morning at the office water cooler. (Do they still have those things?) And, like discussing last Friday’s football game, you can start some pretty serious arguments with trivia.

    So, here’s this week’s ammunition for the water cooler arguments. Enjoy!

    Did you know …

    … it is illegal to use an elephant to plow a field in North Carolina? (It’s not a half bad idea, though. Imagine how big of a plow an elephant can pull. Where you get the elephant is your problem, of course.)

    … there are more than 200 human corpses on the slopes of Mt. Everest? It is almost impossible to retrieve the body of a person who dies while climbing the world’s highest mountain. (Not to mention the fact that later climbers use them as landmarks for the trip. Eww.)

    … the first telephone directory was published in New Haven, Connecticut, in 1878? It was one page long and had fifty listings on it. (Wrong numbers weren’t much of a problem back then, I reckon.)

    … there really was a Little Miss Muffet? She lived in the 16th century and her name was Patience. (At least until she saw the spider, anyway.)

    … a Baseball Hall of Famer hit the same person in the stands with two foul balls during the same at-bat? Richie Ashburn (1927-1997) was playing for the Philadelphia Phillies on August 15, 1957, during a game against the New York Giants. Both fouls struck a woman named Alice Roth (1906-1991), who was sitting in the stands. The first foul ball broke the woman’s nose, and while Roth was being carried away on a stretcher, Ashburn hit another foul, which struck Roth on the stretcher and broke a bone in her knee. The Phillies more than made it up to the Roth family, inviting the kids into the clubhouse and giving the family free tickets and an autographed baseball. Ashburn himself even visited Roth in the hospital and the two became friends. Roth’s son became a Phillies batboy for a time. As for Roth, who was the wife of the sports editor of the Philadelphia Bulletin, she made sure it wouldn’t happen again – she sat in the left field bleachers at Connie Mack Stadium from then on, well out of harm’s way. (Wouldn’t it be funny, though, if a future Ashburn home run clobbered her out there? Roth would have been sure that somebody – maybe even Ashburn – was out to get her.)

    … one of the few unqualified successes in government is the federal Witness Protection Program? Created in 1971, it has had a 100% success rate, despite the plots of many movies, television programs, and novels. No one who has gone through the program has been compromised or harmed in any way, according to the government.

    … gold never rusts? It is chemically inert. Gold also does not cause skin irritation. If you have gold jewelry that irritates your skin, that irritation is coming form the other metal or metals mixed with the gold when the jewelry was made.

    … the mathematical proof that 1 plus 1 equals 2 is 162 pages long? (Conversely, you could just take my word for it.)

    … dogs are the only non-primate animals to recognize human faces and emotions? (I might disagree here. I think cats also recognize them, but they just don’t care.)

    … the law in the city of Breton, Alabama, makes it a crime to ride down the street in a motorboat? (One wonders if the law is applied during flooding season, though.)

    … ancestry websites are the second most-visited sites on the Internet? (I’ll let you guess what the most-visited sites are.)

    … a bigger, less expensive burger than the popular McDonald’s Quarter Pounder was introduced, but failed? The A&W Root Beer chain introduced a larger and cheaper hamburger in its restaurants, but people wouldn’t buy it – because they assumed 1/3 of a pound, which is what the A&W burger was, is smaller than 1/4 of a pound. (Ah, yes, the public education system strikes again. Hey, I can say that – I used to be a teacher.)

    … the Australian coat of arms features two animals for a very special reason? The coat of arms has a kangaroo and an emu, and both were chosen – out of all the unique animals found in Australia – because they cannot walk backwards. Australia sees itself as a forward-moving society, and thus chose those two animals as their official symbols.

    … dogs and cats consume more than $11 billion worth of pet food each year? (Of course they do. Who else would?)

    Now … you know!

    • Comm Center Rat says:

      Connie Mack’s real name was probably the greatest ever in baseball: Cornelius McGillicuddy. He played a 11 seasons of professional baseball and managed the Philadelphia Athletics for 50 years winning five World Series championships.

      Mack is still the longest serving manager of all time and was inducted into the Baseball Hall of Fame in 1937. He sold the A’s for $1.5 million in 1955 and the team moved to Kansas City. He died the following year, just a few months after selling his beloved team.

      LET’S GO YANKEES!

      • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

        He was one of the last managers to wear a suit in the dugout…

      • Commissioner Wretched says:

        Mr. Mack was also the last manager allowed to also own the team he managed. After he stepped down, baseball rules were changed to prohibit owners from managing.
        Witness Ted Turner’s one-game outing as “manager” of the Atlanta Braves in the 1970s. The Commissioner put a stop to it the next day.

    • Mason says:

      “No one who has gone through the program has been compromised or harmed in any way, according to the government.”

      Just what the government would want you to believe. (ಠ_ಠ)

  9. Skyjumper says:

    Congrats 5th/77th FA, you da man again!

    Have a great weekend Dickweeds & Weedettes! (smile)

    Here’s a little something I found a day or two ago…..might want to put a dust mask on or take your allergy meds before reading this…could cause eye misting.

    “Teen Honors Father Killed In Afghanistan With ‘Angel’ Graduation Photos”

    https://doyouremember.com/102439/teen-honors-father-angel-graduation-photos

    https://www.military.com/spousebuzz/2019/08/20/teenager-honors-her-fallen-father-senior-photos.html

  10. HMCS(FMF) ret says:

    You don’t want to read this… it shows you how fucking ugly the Left has become:

    https://www.dailywire.com/news/50893/watch-young-turks-host-mock-dan-crenshaws-war-amanda-prestigiacomo

  11. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Thirty something and Honorary First once again.

    ((()OVER))))

  12. Graybeard says:

    I was out burning gunpowder in my EDC piece when this popped up, so top 50 again.

    For those who care (hovering somewhere around zero, I know) : that PPK/S .22LR is on it’s 4th trip to the Service Department since I purchased it.

    On the other hand, I gave in an picked up a Ruger SR22 which eats anything I feed it, turned in one 5-round group of 1 3/8″ at 25′, and is still a size my grandkids can shoot it.

    When I can with a clear conscience, that PPK/S 22LR is going to be sold.

  13. 11B-Mailclerk says:

    This is sure to make a few heads explode:

    Monopoly: Socialism
    Winning is for Capitalists.

    https://www.foxnews.com/media/timpf-mocks-left-wing-outrage-over-monopolys-new-socialism-edition

    • rgr769 says:

      I am thinking about buying one so I can make my grandkids play it with me when they come over for a visit. It will give them a chance to see how the most failed political ideology in the history of the planet really works.

  14. GDContractor says:

    Question for pilots, aircrew, and tankers: does the Nomex/aramid flight suit have a nickname? In other words, is it known by another name like a poncho liner is known by the name “woobie”? Thanks. GDC

  15. Thunderstixx says:

    This whole thing involving the DOJ, the FBI and Mueller and the rest of the oblowme crowd is getting curiouser and curiouser….
    Things don’t look good for all those clowns in the FBI and so on and so forth….
    This is a good article.
    I can’t wait for it to blow !!!
    Get the Orville Redenbacher Gourmet Popping Corn out !!!!!
    https://pjmedia.com/video/overstock-founder-says-he-was-part-of-fbis-political-espionage-set-top-obama-officials-up-for-felony-charges/

  16. Jim says:

    Was looking for podcasts on Ricochet and came upon this, thought some of the Army types in here knew one or both of these officers during your time in Germany:
    https://ricochet.com/664990/photographs-and-memories/

  17. Claw says:

    Couple of things:

    Nice to see that 3/17 Air Cav is once again commenting. It’s been a good while since we heard from ya.

    A big Thank You to the Admins for putting a “Search” feature back into the site. Tried it and it actually works./s

    • 3/17 Air Cav says:

      Claw……..just got back on the internet last week. My remodel, actually a rebuild started last Sept. finished about a month ago. I’m still romancing the “Little Chickadee” the Mule is up and running like a top! The M38A1 is running but needs a new coil.

      Had a little accident in July, had a run in with a log splitter. I took about a half inch off my trigger finger. At least I’m exempt from the draft.

      Take Care
      Steve

  18. The Other Whitey says:

    The nice calm fire season we’ve been having has been giving me more time for hobby stuff. Doing a bit more on that Red Dawn diorama scene this weekend. Got the parts from Shapeways to put a VRC-47 radio in the halftrack. Also sketched out a design for some aftermarket up-armoring to make it a bit more RPG-resistant. Still messing with the TOW launcher to work out how it will fit in the bed. I kicked around the idea of sticking it on the pintle mount on the cab roof, but I figured the backblast would make the back seats unusable.

    The tank is pretty straightforward by comparison. Posing the figures will be the biggest challenge for that one. Also learning how to shape a styrofoam base. My previous experience has been limited to flat wooden bases, and this will call for a bit more topographical variation.

    Any of you folks who served in/around the 80s have any suggestions for other mods that would fit for a militia halftrack in that scenario?

    • 11B-Mailclerk says:

      For TOW mount ideas, check out the Improved TOW vehicle and the TOW-armed Humvee.

      Sandbags were used as add-on armor since at least WW2. Plenty of Vietnam era photos showing this.

      A Russian method of adding extra fuel to tanks was a pair of fuel drums horizontally across the back edge of the engine deck. Some were droppable from inside, much like drop tanks on a fighter. (Those drums do have dome drawbacks, of course.)

      Backpacks and supplies get hung off the sides and back, to make more room inside.

      Also adding to the external clutter will be:
      extra track segments, tires
      cammo net bundles with poles.
      Rolled up tents,
      cases of rations, jerry cans, cans of ammo,
      coiled-up concertina wire, coils of rope,
      Tow chains/cables/bars
      “Pioneer tools”: Shovel, Axe, etc
      “Unauthorized” vehicle markings and pennants, graffiti, “nose art”, kill markings (some humorous)
      -Big- Boom-box
      Loot items
      Camp followers
      Trailer of more stuff!
      Fresh deer carcass on the front bumper

      Make it look kinda worn and patch-work repaired. Mismatched stuff, crude welds, unpatched holes from AT/AP hits.

      • The Other Whitey says:

        Seriously, how did I not think of the ghetto blaster before? And to think I was born in the 80s… Thanks much, 11B!

        For the armor, I’m thinking sheets (plastic standing in for steel, obviously) attached to the sides via angle-iron brackets, with a bit of space in between, as DIY spaced armor. Would that be viable against a basic RPG warhead, or at least a “make you feel better” solution? I’m sure it would stop most bullets, but I’m no expert on anti-armor shaped charges. I did a little surgery on the halftrack’s passenger seats to show one of the underwear compartments open, so I can fill it with random crap, and I’m working with ways to stow spare TOW rounds. I’m also thinking about a little drill work and some dull metallic-color paint on the M60’s turret, so that the tank’s armor will have successfully deflected an incoming round.

        I’d like to include some kind of newspaper/magazines lying open with headlines about the war for a little extra ambiance, but my artistic skills are not equal to the task of making up 1/35-scale publications for wars that never happened.

        As for decoration, flags (including Rebel flags) on the whip antennas are a given. I kinda like “Knight Rider” as a name for the tank, which would be period-appropriate for 1986, though that’s not finalized. Also thinking that “Mors aut Gloria”/“Mortis aut Gloria” would look good on a .50cal’s gun shield. I’m also planning on old-school big white US stars on the vehicles being retained for morale purposes as a “fuck you” to Ivan. Thinking of personalized messages & slogans, NFL/MLB logos, etc. as well.

  19. Roh-Dog says:

    Do you miss your time on the Frog Team?
    So does this guy…

    https://youtu.be/LYarkE3Msig

  20. Roger in Republic says:

    A lady my wife worked with owned a large blue parrot and I can attest to their cognitive acumen. She also owned a chiwawa. The bird would wait until the dog was at the other end of the house. Perfectly imitating his mistress’s voice he would call the dog by name. The dog would run to the sound of his voice and explode into whichever room the bird was in. Not finding his mistress in the room he would pull up short in confusion. The bird would burst out in diabolical laughter. The dog would leave and the bird would repeat the call only to have the dog running back into the room. He would do this over and over until he got tired of the joke. I doubt the parrot had ever heard a human laugh that laugh.

  21. reddevil says:

    Noticed this item on Task & Purpose:

    https://taskandpurpose.com/navy-seal-commander-discipline-problem

    I’ve felt the same way for a while, it’s good to see that the NSW leadership is going to do something about it. In SOF parlance, the SEALS are not going to be playing by Big Boy Rules for a while. Dad is taking the keys, setting a curfew, and changing the WiFi password…

    • HMCS(FMF) ret says:

      To remedy the problem Green laid out several changes in his Aug. 20 memo, including that all allegations of misconduct involving officers and senior SEALs (E-7 and above) will be sent directly to Green to handle.

      “I reserve the right to withhold all Non-Judicial Punishment authority for those reports at my level as I deem appropriate,” he wrote.

      I’d say someone is dropping the hammer, big time, on leadership in the Teams.

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