Creepy Porn ‘Lawer’

| June 7, 2019

CPL

Here’s our Poetrooper with some thoughts about the Lawyer to a Porn Star, Michael Avenatti. This is not a Valentine, but it is eloquent. ChipNASA, there may be some material here for the COI. In fact, Poe asked me to hold this, as it hit my in-box on the eve of 75th Anniversary of D-Day, and Poe didn’t want a Creepy Pron Lawyer (CPL) besmirching the memories of fallen heroes. As that is no longer the case, taxi to the active runway, Poe, you are cleared for takeoff.

Seized Jet
Nice Jet. Too bad it’s been seized.

Poetrooper

Got an embarrassing itch, MSM? Could be Avenatti-itis
In medical terminology, the suffix, itis, denotes an inflammatory condition, often accompanied by fretful itching. If any single word in the English language could apply to Creepy Porn Lawyer, Michael Avenatti, it’s inflammatory. CPL inflamed the liberal media with his smug, confidence man self-assurance, entirely because he slyly targeted President Donald Trump, guaranteeing himself airtime on all the Trump-bashing mainstream venues. The media suckers quickly legitimized this California con artist defending a dissolute woman who had literally fornicated herself up to a level of national prominence, not that unlike many of her liberal loudmouthed, anti-Trump, casting-couch sisters in the entertainment industry.
From nowhere sprang this glib, bald-headed badass who bodaciously badmouthed DJT claiming that his porn star client had once enjoyed carnal congeniality with our sitting president. That, according to CPL’s reasoning, rendered DJT subject to legal sanctions which would, upon full and further disclosures, render him unfit for office. Avenatti might as well have been on the back of a safari Land Rover throwing out chicken entrails while traversing a hyena preserve. The slathering pack of lefty talking heads greedily gorged themselves on every fetid tidbit, nodding in smug agreement, smacking their feral lips for more.
Avenatti may well go down as the greatest con artist in American history considering the absolute number of fools he fooled, a number geometrically compounded because the fools he fooled were sitting in front of cameras that were broadcasting CPL’s lies and his compliant hosts’ eager, nodding acceptance to a few million liberal viewers. The total numbers weren’t all that great, due to their declining audience numbers, but still the liberal media venues afforded Avenatti a gullible audience of millions that no other con man has ever possessed. You have to give him credit—he pulled it off for his fifteen minutes of fame—before reality raised its fearsome factual face and the Creepy Porn Lawyer was exposed for the leeching parasite he is. This cynical, immoral abuser of attorney-client relationships brazened his way into the world news cycle, becoming a celebrity presence there until his real world of not just sleazy, but overtly and prosecutably criminal, behavior was bared. Avenatti, it seems, isn’t just a con man—this guy stole money from a disabled, severely handicapped client, among others, to buy himself a private jet—and that was just one client among many defrauded by this CNN/MSNBC promoted sleazebag.
It’s just impossible not to look at Avenatti, especially considering his porn-based birth into national prominence, as some sort of liberal STD that has spread throughout the media venues that welcomed him with open legs, eagerly embracing this morally and ethically infected mating partner for no other reason than that he whispered into their ears the political treachery that spread their thighs. The creepy Porn lawyer must have been laughing to himself at what too-easy pushovers these supposedly savvy media prostitutes actually are. But now, as is always true in the increasingly similar, seedy worlds of prostitution and mainstream media, there are transmissions carrying real consequences, with the question being: What will be the effect of the Avenatti-itis contamination in the liberal media? Will they learn from their too-quickly loving embrace of this slick-talking shyster? When the itchy inflammation and the humiliation ultimately pass, will they have learned from their mistakes?
I’m kidding of course…

Yuck. Just reading about the CPL makes me want to get a shower. Thanks, Poe, on another outstanding article.

Category: Blue Falcons, Crime, Guest Post, Legal, Media!, Poetic Justice, Trump!

Comments (39)

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  1. UpNorth says:

    “Avenatti might as well have been on the back of a safari Land Rover throwing out chicken entrails while traversing a hyena preserve. The slathering pack of lefty talking heads greedily gorged themselves on every fetid tidbit, nodding in smug agreement, smacking their feral lips for more”.

    That is a perfect description of what transpired.

  2. JTB says:

    Whores love other whores…Which in this case you have the perfect trifecta….MSM…M.A..S.D…

  3. Claw says:

    “Claw, there may be some material here for the COI.”

    Ummm, I’m thinking you may have me confused with ChipNASA and the HOI.®™ (Hemisphere Of Insults)

    No big thing, not nit-picking./smile

  4. Mason says:

    Just to prove how brilliant Tucker Carlson is, he was on to this guy from day one.

    This never gets old:

    • rgr769 says:

      The other night Tucker said he felt like he needed a shower after his first meeting with CPL. I think he avoided shaking hands with him in the Green Room.

  5. thebesig says:

    Michael Avenatti Got Arrested (MAGA) – from The Donald subreddit when he got arrested.

    • rgr769 says:

      The bastard will most assuredly never practice law again. The state bars of every state take a dim view of an attorney embezzling his/her client’s settlement money. There is no way to justify that behavior. He is also dead meat in criminal court because there is a paper/electronic financial trail for every nickel of the settlement funds. He would have a better chance of beating a federal bank robbery charge.

      • GDContractor says:

        I’d like to think you’re right; however, if I recall correctly, Bernath forged his client’s signature then used his own privilege as a Notary Public to notarized said forged signature on a document endorsing the monetary proceeds from a lawsuit over to him (Bernath). But that wasn’t what got him disbarred.

        • rgr769 says:

          He likely did that in Oregon. I doubt it was investigated by the only state bar that licensed him, Commiefornia. I think he did that with a Social Security settlement or payout. He practiced before the Social Security boards which doesn’t require a law license in Oregon. Whomever was his client apparently didn’t report it to the popo, as it is the crime of embezzlement.

        • Ex-PH2 says:

          He did that – embezzling a client’s settlement -in California and was disbarred. Burned his files and went to Oregon. Couldn’t get accepted into the Oregon bar – the trail follows you – so he went to representing SocSec clients which was allowed. He screwed that up, too, by keeping the settlements for himself. Old habits don’t die quickly, you know, so he went with the pro per class actions against light plane manufacturers, which also didn’t work. He was, from the comments he posted on the RV-12 forum about plane repairs, leaning toward going after Vans Aircraft in Aurora, OR.

          • Hondo says:

            Actually, no – he wasn’t disbarred in CA before he moved to Oregon. Disbarrment is a permanent action, and from what I’ve read reinstatement from same is quite rare.

            Rather, back during the 1990s his CA law license was suspended – for a year, I seem to remember. It was later reinstated.

            Regardless, somehow the Oregon State Bar got wind of Bernath’s shady past. That is why the Oregon bar refused to license him. But it wasn’t until fairly recently (2016) that CA disbarred him.

            https://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=67229

            • The Stranger says:

              Yep. I remember that glorious day well. What finally did him in was failing to appear to his own disbarment hearing, correct? Ah, what a day!

              • Hondo says:

                Actually, IMO what did him in was being equal parts (1) arrogant but not-so-bright sleazebag and (2) ambulatory verbal anus – to include while appearing at some of his early disciplinary hearings and (I’d guess) at some later criminal court appearances as well. But that’s just my opinion regarding the individual; I could be wrong.

              • rgr769 says:

                His disbarment hearing took several days. On the last day he just decided not to show up. IIRC, the bar court treated his failure to appear like a default, but they found against him on the evidence already presented. One of his offenses was continuing to practice law and represent himself as an attorney while he was suspended.

                • The Stranger says:

                  And as I recall, it was even sweeter because it was a female judge. I remember he had got himself in hot water with a judge previously for some sexist comments about female lawyers. Good times, good times.

                  There once was a lawer named Dan
                  Who got himself thrown in the can
                  He was finally let out
                  Then went flying about
                  And that’s when the shit hit the fan!

                  Shit, my phone knows that limerick by heart (autocomplete)! Talk about a smart phone!

  6. 5th/77th FA says:

    Whores gotta whore!

  7. Ex-PH2 says:

    It’s kind of fun to watch people like this go galloping right off the edge of a cliff.

    But aside from money, what did this slimeball think he was going to get away with? Did he really think he could slide this past inspection, when it was so rotten to the core (just like he is) that the stench almost reached my house?

    Always follow the money. When people like him smell it, everything else goes out the window.

  8. 11B-Mailclerk says:

    He did “get away with it” for a very long time.

    And he got greedy-sloppy, or he would still be a free-and-well-fed hyena, instead of a soon-to-be-caged one.

    • Poetrooper says:

      11B, you are correct–the bastard did get away with it–but only until he got too greedy and too ambitious in seeking the national limelight. Well, he got that light and what it did was shine a bright beam on all the roaches in his law practice.

      But the sweetest satisfaction to take from this fable is how the stupid, Trump deranged media jerks are left with all this egg on their mugs for promoting this self-promoting con man simply because he was anti-Trump.

      Creepy porn lawyer is about to become a jailhouse lawyer.

      Ya gotta love it…

    • Ex-PH2 says:

      There are many more roaches like Swallowswell scurrying around in the background. They give the good people a bad name. Guilt by association – that sort of thing.
      After all, even a numbskull dead FL lawer who was good at passing multiple choice tests could pass the bar exam in California and practice law.

      First thing we do, let’s kill all the lawyers. – Dick the Butcher in Henry VI, Part II, Act IV

  9. Just An Old Dog says:

    He’s like a much less caustic, equally slimy and much more successful Dan Bernath.

    • 5th/77th FA says:

      Bernasty has successfully maintained minus (-) six (6) feet AGL for a good while now, so he does have that.

      • rgr769 says:

        That is his greatest accomplishment as a pilot. He has finally been able to perfectly maintain his last assigned altitude, rather than wandering up and down in the sky, using his I-pad as an altimeter and airspeed indicator.

        • Morgan Blake says:

          I’ve maintained a perfect flight record with MicroSoft Flight Simulator for 3 years running now.

          I think I can fly any plane now. How hard can it be?

  10. Poetrooper says:

    Um,Ed, where do I pick up my plane?

    • AW1Ed says:

      Right at the top of the page, CPL’s seized Honda Jet. Just taxi it out of the impound lot and fly off into the sunset.

  11. A Proud Infidel®™️ says:

    Let’s see, he was also evicted from his office space for non payment of rent AND his extortion scheme on Nike blew up in his face as well, what a Bernathian bucket of chihuahua shit, I hope he gets shanked in prison!

    • The Stranger says:

      Well, let’s see…federal charges. Hmmm. Doesn’t the Bureau of Prisons part of the Executive Branch? Gee, I wonder who’s in charge of the Executive Branch? It would be awesome if he got sent to Terre Haute. I hear that bad, bad things happen in Terre Haute! Or maybe have him be Blagojevich’s cell mate in Colorado? Hell, I’d take bets on who’d hang himself first.

      • The Stranger says:

        I edited my post and forgot to change “doesn’t” to “isn’t”. Little help?

  12. STSC(SW/SS) says:

    Creepy Porn Lawyer to Creepy Porn Liar to Criminal Prison Looser.

    I’m sure the boys in D Block think you have a real pretty mouth. If I were you I would invest heavily in Chapstick and some anal repair kits.

    • Daisy Cutter says:

      They will draw straws as to who will get to beat CPL up, but he will convince them he can do legal work on each of their cases for free.

      CPL will be popular in this regard until they realize he is skimming and pocketing smokes and toilet wine.

  13. HMC Ret says:

    “Avenatti might as well have been on the back of a safari Land Rover throwing out chicken entrails while traversing a hyena preserve.”

    I didn’t know I could laugh so hard that I propelled snot 15 feet to the TV screen.

    I have an urge to see this guy in a perp walk. As far as MSNBC (the worst), CNN and the other whores of the lame stream media learning from their ‘mistakes’, there is the old adage of ice cubes in hell.

    BTW, the LSM doesn’t care if the guy is a lying PoS and they possibly knew beforehand that he was, they rejoice whenever they can character assassinate President Trump. It all follows their narrative in which the truth is of little importance.

  14. Green Thumb says:

    I could see this loser defending posers down the road…

    • A Proud Infidel®™ says:

      It looks like he could be getting disbarred soon, time will tell and he’s definitely a Bernathian character!