An “Unclaimed” Veteran’s Funeral
In a nursing home in Ashland City on 4 November 2018, Leo Stokely died at age 69.
Someone in a nursing home dying is not terribly uncommon. Given his age, neither is the fact that Stokely was a USMC veteran who’d done a tour in Vietnam.
As a veteran Stokely was set to receive a military funeral, to be held on 9 November. Unfortunately, Stokely’s remains were unclaimed. None of his family members could be located.
Enter the Cheatam County Veteran’s Service Office, and Bob Counter.
Counter posted about the unfortunate turn of events on the organization’s Facebook page in an attempt to locate any of Stokely’s surviving family. In that, he was unsuccessful.
However, Counter’s Facebook post went viral. And when Stokely’s funeral was held on a cold, rainy Friday . . . he had a proper send-off. Literally hundreds of individuals showed up to pay their respects to a man they didn’t know.
Fox News has an article with a few more details. It’s short, and IMO worth a read.
Thanks, Mr. Counter. Yeah, you were just “doing your job”. Thanks anyway.
Category: Blue Skies, Veterans Issues
Nicely done. Kudos to Mr. Counter.
God bless him and the people that showed up for the send off!
Rest in peace Mr. Stokely
Dusty in here…
I’ve seen far too many people abandoned in crappy con homes over the years. I’ve seen some good facilities that take wonderful care of people, too, but places where the staff neglect their patients are far too common and make my blood boil.
I understand, TOW.
The profit margin on nursing homes and other extended-care facilities, like too much of the medical field after the government got involved, is razor-thin.
The staff is often CNAs, with one or two LVNs, and an RN, plus the technicians, therapists, and such – all of whom are, frankly, overextended because the home cannot afford, on what Medicaid/Medicare pays, to hire more or more trained people.
And the staff are all human. They, too, experience burn-out, exhaustion, the press of personal pressures and tragedies; even those (most of them in my experiences) who care have only so much energy and time they can invest in the care of a group of people who often are very difficult to deal with, and are not going to get “better” but only worse over time.
Those without an advocate end up, just by the nature of the situation, getting forgotten or lesser care – often because there is not someone to remind the doctor(s) or nurses of their needs. The staff cannot remember it all.
I advocate for my brother (and it helps that he is such a gentle soul that all the staff fall in love with him), and it is a full-time job with a lot of frustration and stress involved. Especially in dealing with the bureaucracies of Medicaid, Medicare, the various providers of the different services they provide, the specialists, the hospitals, the ambulance-transport companies…. you get the idea. One has to have a never give up, never give in, never take “no” as a final answer, never quit attitude. AKA that trait of stubbornness that so frustrated my mother.
I know there are facilities that are criminally negligent and the staff do not care. I suspect that is a top-down problem, and those managers need to be publicly flogged. But it is good to recognize the other problems the staff have.
The shady, cheap homes with incompetent staff day and night are at least up front with their business model. Makes my blood boil as well.
One notorious nursing home gave a man with a soft food only restriction some solid food he choked on in the cafeteria. Since he had a DNR, they “didn’t want to make a scene” and wheeled him to his room to die. They literally killed him.
Then there’s the one that dropped Army Chaplain Tim Vakoc on his head, ultimately doing what an Iraqi insurgent’s IED couldn’t, and killed him.
Then there’s the ones who really fleece people. My city had one really nice place, excellent facilities, and knowledgeable, competent staff and a price tag to reflect it (started at $5k/month for assisted living). At least by day. At night it was a bunch of nursing assistant school dropouts and criminally negligent staff.
I am sorry to say, we have hospitals just as freaking incompetent! ours likes volunteers, they don’t have to pay them, and aides, again they don’t have to pay certified people…its a butcher shop imho
Sure, that sort of thing happens much more than any of us will likely ever know. It’s comforting to know that folks who are willing to step up still exist.
Another thing for which to be grateful this weekend, and every day following.
Some good people doing a good thing for a vet. As someone else said, this probably goes on more than we know about.
Rest in peace, Leo Stokely, and thank you for your service.
Well done to all who showed for the funeral. Veterans remember their own.
Fair winds and following seas, Mr. Stokely.
Probably many or most of those who honored Mr. Stokely at his funeral service were themselves VN or VN era veterans. When I worked for the VA I noticed VN vets were exceptional at forming supportive networks to assist their brethren.
When I redeployed from OEF as an individual mobilized Soldier (Reservist) I remember getting of a contract flight from Germany at Baltimore Washington International Airport and being welcomed by a group of VN vets and a women’s auxiliary formation that passed out goody bags. They were a very energetic and enthusiastic group. It was one of the only times when somebody said “thank you for your service” that the words truly meant something to me. Although that welcome happened nearly a decade ago I still cherish the memory.
Anyway, I’m pleased to see that a Marine who served in-country got the farewell he earned and deserved on behalf of a grateful nation.