Thursday morning feel good stories

| May 24, 2018

From Tuolumne, California;

”29-year-old Bryce Lawrence and 24-year-old Bryanna Ireland, illegally entered a rental home belonging to a elderly couple in Tuolumne City. The rental home is located next to the couple’s residence on Hodge Ave. The couple heard noises coming from their rental and walked over to investigate.

Lawrence was subsequently shot by the homeowner who feared for his safety and the safety of his wife after they found him inside the residence. Lawrence was transported by ambulance to AHS and later flown to a Modesto area hospital for medical treatment. Ireland was arrested and booked into the Tuolumne County Jail for Burglary.

From Wichita, Kansas;

Wichita police say a liquor store manager shot and wounded man allegedly tried to rob the store.

Police were called Tuesday to F&K Liquors in southeast Wichita after employees reported two men walked into the store, showed a gun and demanded money.

KAKE-TV reports the manager followed the men out of the store and fired several shots.

An 18-year-old suspect was hit in the leg. Police spokesman Charlie Davidson says he is expected to recover and will be booked into jail for aggravated robbery when he’s released from the hospital.

The second suspect fled but was later arrested.

Category: Feel Good Stories

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Ex-PH2

Whadda way to start a day.

Sister Mary Grace has retrieved her No. 15 yellow pencil and is prepping a good thump or two on the head of the reporter who wrote this bit of slackertalk: “Wichita police say a liquor store manager shot and wounded man allegedly tried to rob the store.”

It’s the use of ‘who’ that confuses these confused souls. They also have difficult with ‘it’, ‘that’ and ‘your’. English is no less simple than Russian.

Sister Mary Grace will now retreat to her private cell and put her feet up on the other chair for a few minutes.

Deplorable B Woodman

Sounds like Sister Mary needs to retreat to cell, say her prayers, and rest after all that noggin thumping. Hard work trying make an impression on the students.

These “journalists” sound like Rush Limbaugh’s description of college students, “young skulls full of mush”.

11B-Mailclerk

I once heard a graduate of a catholic school use the phrase “Sister X made an impression on me .. often daily, with a large metal ruler. She left -dents-.”

Tallywhagger

To make it even worse, Just wait until you get to the age where double letters become a challenge. Double l’s, n’s m’s, c’s, s’s, etc. Lucky I was not raised in a Catholic school!

Still, many Westerners eventually figure out how to pronounce words that start with Mpht, tmhp and similarly improbable vowel/consonant arrangements.

AZtoVA

Sounds like the Journo decided he needed to be a liquor store customer before he could credibly report on it?

Cheese Eater McBlobfish

After all these times I got my fart knocked, shit pushed, and fudged packed since February 27, 2018, I found a side benefit. My morning constitutional only lasts the duration of a fart.

Cheese,

Dennis Howard Chevalier
Denny H. Chevalier

Jon The Mechanic

It appears that someone did not receive the Surgeon General’s warning about messing with old people and suffered the consequences for not not receiving the warning.

For those of you who are wondering what I mean, here it is for public consumption.

Old people do not like to be threatened, scared, or attacked. They WILL shoot you as soon as look at you, because they know that any injuries they receive will take longer than normal to heal.

Fyrfighter

Mother in Law has a t-shirt that says: “I carry because i’m too young to die, and too old to take an ass whoopin”..