Sircaria Coleman; deserter arrested

| February 1, 2018

Andy11M sends a link from New Orleans, Louisiana about Sircaria Coleman who was a deserter from the Army for five years until the other day when she tried to board a cruise ship for a vacation, but she popped hot for a warrant issued by the Army;

According to authorities, Coleman posted bond on Aug. 15, 2012, following an arrest somewhere in Louisiana on unspecified allegations. She never returned to her post in Fort Carson, Colorado, and the Army issued a warrant to arrest Coleman on a charge of military desertion several months later.

Coleman turned 30 four days before her arrest. She was working at a cellphone dealership when she was captured, court records said.

Orleans Parish Criminal Magistrate Court Judge Harry Cantrell ordered Coleman held without bail. She waived extradition proceedings and as of Wednesday was awaiting to be transferred out of New Orleans.

Now she’s looking at five years in a restful jail cell…much safer than a cruise ship.

Category: Dumbass Bullshit

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ChipNASA

BBBWWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *gasp* bbbwwwhahahahahahahaha
Fucking *dumbass*
Worthless leech.
Oxygen Thief.
You were going on vacation?
Ha Bitch. That ship as sailed.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Ret_25X

I’m betting the unit has never missed this miserable wretch….

In fact, the two CO2 cylinders they received as replacements were far better at the jobs*

No actual CO2 cylinders were harmed in this joke…

LOL

A Proud Infidel®™

The kind of Troop, Sailor, Airman or even Marine who would make unit mates say Thank God He/she is gone now” by suddenly being absent, be it ETS, AWOL or Desertion.

Mason

Doubt those tickets were refundable or she ponied up for the insurance! Sweet karma.

2/17 Air Cav

“Ms. Coleman? Ms. Sircaria Coleman?”

“Yes.”

“I’m afraid this cruise ship is leaving without you. You’re under arrest.”

It’s nice to see that these folks are getting picked up, but it strongly appears from some googly-foo that she was hiding in plain sight for years.

Peter the Bubblehead

It has been my experience that law enforcement doesn’t go out of its way to locate deserters, depending on them either screwing up or pissing off someone else who then drops a dime on them.

Happened with a sailor I served with who decided one morning he just didn’t want to go to sea with the boat. They checked his address of record once just after the thirty day mark, but he had evidently moved out. About two years later he had some sort of argument with his girlfriend and she called the cops on him.

Sparks

Sircaria…Name Scrabble at it’s worst.

Claw

Sicaria Coleman (DAM*) 21×4= 84

*Dumb Ass Move

Why a DAM? Probably because she was still using her real name (and probably the SSAN) that she was declared a Deserter/Dropped From the Rolls with.

Claw

Uh-Oh, just found out that Sircaria Coleman has a middle name of Shatrice, so her Name Scrabble score is amended to 136.

Also her arrest in August 2012 was in Caddo, LA for (wait for it),,,,,,,,,,Gasp, Possession of Marijuana. Who da thunk it?

Renegade

Shat-rice? Are you kidding me?

I say this as a Black man who would never name their daughter after a Post Chinese takeout bowel movement.

Ol' Sarge

Excellent comment, Sir!

rgr769

Looks like Shatrice “shat” upon her right to walk around free about six years ago when she bailed on her bond.

RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

What…… Not Shaqwaanda Lolawnduh???

Damn Ebonics gotta go. See what happens when you guys abandon the Queen’s/King’s English!! 😜

RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

My Ghanaian friend/employee laughs his ass off at those Fake-African names.
He was born and raised in Africa. His name is Jacob.

Lurker Curt

And how the hell do you pronounce that?

11B-Mailclerk

“Shitbag”

2/17 Air Cav

Coleman is pronounced with a hard C. Huh? What’s that? Oh. (Tiptoes away.)

Hack Stone

Ol' Sarge

Only After the EAGLES beat “Tom Terrific” and the Patootriots in the Super Bowl!!! Hahaha. Great game, guys!

Ol' Sarge

Oh, should the name of that place now be pronounced Sha-Dynasty? The Eagles are a young team.

Atkron

Why? Seriously, why? Have you no honor? How do you face your family after something like that?

We had one guy desert when I was on shore duty. I remember the day some guys in suits brought him into the squadron hangar to the duty office.

His clothes were all ripped up, as was his exposed flesh. He apparently decided to run from whatever local police he was being stopped by. Problem was the dummy ran into a bramble patch.

I about fell off the helo I was on, while laughing at his appearance.

ChipNASA

Un, I’d make a Tar Baby joke here but I think I’ll refrain.
/self reported
😉

MCPO NYC USN Ret.

I just reported you! Now stop that!

Atkron

Now Brer ChipNASA, that’s not very nice.

Graybeard

Funny, though.

SFC D

Well zippidee goddamn doodah.

A Proud Infidel®™

OooooOOOH now you dood’ sump’n!

Nastyleg

She won’t see the full sentence. She’ll get time reduced and get out early on behavior.

Alberich

Time off for good behavior is automatic in Army confinement facilities. The desertion sentences I’ve seen don’t run anywhere near the max–months rather than years–I’ll be glad if she’s prosecuted at all instead of just chaptered.

Nastyleg

In the reserves we had to chapter for non participation. Even after being notified. Active we had one desertion after a deployment. He was chaptered out as well. Hope CAN Daily and Gen. Milley, my former polar bear Battalion Co. Encourage dishonorable discharge for desertion. I have HUGE doubts that will ever take place.

Mason

Reserve experience here was the same, they just sent them packing. We had a guy go through basic and tech school. Spent one whole weekend and then was a no call-no show for the next three months. That’s when he got dropped from our rolls.

A Proud Infidel®™

Hate to break your bubble Nastyleg, but a DD requires a Court Martial Conviction with a sentence of ten years or more. Now if they could be CM’ed and given BCD’s which will haunt them almost as bad…

USMC Steve

a BCD does not require nearly as much time, and still fucks her. And she deserves just that for her unreliability and disloyalty.

Nastyleg

Consider heart broken

Ol' Sarge

Does any civilian employer give a damn these days about ANY discharge; honorable or otherwise? Seems they will hire anyone that will work for the meager paychecks they give employees. Better to stick with the military-they give you promotions, pay raises, benefits and retirement.

NavyEODguy

Nastyleg

When were you with the polar bear battalion. My brother was CSM there for while. Mid 90s if I remember correctly.

Last name Oliver. He left there to go to TRADOC as a CSM for a 2-star.

Nastyleg

A CO 4-31
2001-2005

Graybeard

Sircaria Coleman is trying out for the feminatzi remake of “Dumb and Dumber” – and all she’s got to do is act naturally.

Cris

I remember a couple knuckleheads while in Oz land for Croc 99. They were treated so nicely by the locals that they decided to go UA (AWOL for you Army types, un-planned vacation for you flyboys). 3 days later, they turned themselves in. When asked why, their response was. “Once the locals found out we wanted to live here, they stopped buying us meals and beer. Told us to get a job. And the girls didn’t want anything to do with us since we had no money.”

Atkron

I heard back in the day, the girls would entice you to miss movement and then turn you in for a bounty.

Probably just a Sea Story though…

AW1Ed

Sorta like the greasy fucks selling hashish just outside the gate in Rota. They even got their hash back after the bust by La Guardia Civil.

I’ve heard Spanish prisons are not happy places.

FatCircles0311
AnotherPat

It took the Army or Law Enforcement five (5) years to find her?

Gee Whiz..took less than a minute to find her on the Web (looks as if this site has her old AKO email address as well):

https://www.mylife.com/sicaria-coleman/sicariacoleman

Atkron

I think they just issue warrants and wait for one of these clowns to get pulled over or go on a cruise.

AnotherPat

Thank you, Atkron, for the feedback.

AW1 Tim

Yup. The Navy figured that sooner or later you’d get pulled over by a cop for something, or register for something, and your name would show up with a warrant.

Then they’d send a detail to pick you up and toss you in the brig until A Courts-Martial could be held.

As was pointed out, when you desert, your enlistment stops, and doesn’t start upagain until you are recovered. If you had, say, 3 years left, then you still owe uncle Sam 3 years.

That’s pretty much what you’d get as a sentence, whatever time you still owed, and then you’d get a Big Chicken Dinner.

AW1Ed

And after time served, a short drive to the front gate with one’s seabag, and goodbye.

Carlton G. Long

I promised myself that I would refrain from any joke related to “Big Chicken Dinner” in this case.

UpNorth

That’s how they did it a while back, the warrants would pop up from time to time, mostly on traffic stops.

A Proud Infidel®™

I remember when I was a meathead in OSUT at Fort Lost-in-the-Woods back in 1991 when even then we were told in a briefing that for anyone going AWOL it was only a matter of time until getting caught due to computer databases even then. Renewing a Drivers License? *BEEP!* Get pulled over by LE? *BEEP!*, Background check with Government Entities? *BEEP!* Yeah, Government computers are far from the best and fastest, but somethimes they do actually work like they’re supposed to.

Cris

I had a dumbf**k go UA and then into deserter status. A couple of my Cpls knew where he was in San Diego and offered to go haul his ass back. I told them to not waste their time on him, he wasn’t worth it, he’d eventually end up in civilian police custody and we’d then get him back. Sure enough…

Claw

And she has a Fakebook page as well.

Looked it up to try and see if she had a pronunciation guide for her first name.

No Joy on the way to pronounce it.

AnotherPat

“pronunciation guide..”

😃😄👌👍👏

Sadly, however, she did not choose her first name…but I guess that is moxnix since the rest of us did not have a choice as well.

ChipNASA

Ahem…

Atkron

^^^Spot on^^

AnotherPat

ChipNasa:

All I can say is this:

😂🤣😅😆😀😃😁😄!!!!

RGR 4-78

Sic aria, the singing misspelling.

CW2 Club Manager, USA ret

Army “law enforcement” and specifically CID cannot find their ass using both hands. In fact, I suspect it is a MOS requirement. One of our MP’s took a discharge and joined the Marines and raised the IQ of both services.

A Proud Infidel®™

Some say that CID stands for Chickenshits In Defillade.

USMC Steve

Probably so. He was smart enough to get out of the Army.

VW2 Club Manager, USA ret.

Only because he wanted the company of two road guards and someone to call Cadence for him every time he left the building.

Cris

And this coming from a…club mgr? hahahahaha I am now qualified to run a fast food establishment. Thank you Army!

2/17 Air Cav

“One of our MP’s took a discharge and joined the Marines and raised the IQ of both services.”

That’s a scream.

desert

It is Phoebe’s (FBI) job to round up deserters, and we all know how FREAKING competent those a.h.’s are! They wait for the local police to do their job , then step in and take credit, pricks!!

UpNorth

They do the same thing with bank robberies, and most kidnappings.

A Proud Infidel®™

FBI – Federal Bureau of Indifference or Federal Bureau of Incompetence.

IDC SARC

I’d hit it.

Atkron

That smirk tells me she’s a freak in the sheets.

Get some Doc!

Carlton G. Long

I have to confess that if I were single, I would at least be tempted.

Tallywhagger

Not bad looking. I’m willing if you got some penicillin.

Donkey Duck

DIBS on sloppy seconds if you do!

Natikov

I wonder what her MOS was?

Claw

Makes no difference what the MOS may have been.

Shit Bag Deserter is all that matters.

DataDawgDVX

Coleman is facing desertion charges. OK, if I were the JAG prosecutors, I’d try to get the Article 32 to find a few other UCMJ charges, such as a few Article 134s, Missing movement might be another, since her unit might have been deployed to the hot zone a few times or so. And destruction of government property, if she destroyed her CAC ID card, for instance.

Mike Kozlowski

…And if she had a single piece of Government issued clothing or equipment in her possession when she bailed, it’s theft of Government property on top of everything else.

Deserters are NOT treated nicely by the system, and it’s delightful to watch.

Mike

USMC Steve

Nope. As politically motivated as Big Army is, and particularly considering she is black, they will probably promote and retain her.

A Proud Infidel®™

We had a wuss go AWOL from my OSUT Unit in Fort Lost-in-the-Woods, he snuck back into the barracks, changed into his Class A’s and then took a taxi to the Greyhound Station on Post and went to his Aunt and Uncle a few hours’ drive away in Springfield, MO. A few days later said Aunt and Uncle kicked him out of their car onto the curb wearing cheap jeans, shoes and a white t shirt right in front of our barracks while we were marching back in from chow. Of course he was Article 15’d and thrown out but the CoC took all they could from him on the way to his ELS, he had Statements of Charges for throwing his Class A Uniform away right down to missing socks, underwear and dog tags with an additional Article 15 for Failure to Maintain. After a month of EVERY shitty detail whenever he wasn’t clearing, he got on a GreyMutt bus with a set of cheap civvie clothes and maybe $50 in his pocket, they didn’t put up with AWOL wusses back then.

SSG Kane

When I went to Leonard Wood in 1992, they told that guy’s story as part of the inprocessing. It was “Don’t be this guy” because here’s how hard he got fucked. If you want out, just tell us. Its that easy. We’ll get you out.

Of course then they fucked with the guys who wanted to quit after week four. But they did get out. Eventually.

A Proud Infidel®™

I was there in 1991 and they took all they could from him on the way out, ditto with the rest of the ELS’s that fucked up. We only had ONE ELS from that Unit who was squared away, but he was ELS’ed becuase they found out he had a Heart Murmur after Basic about the middle of AIT phase. While the fuckups and misfits got put through the wringer any way they could, they gave him things like light duty and didn’t screw with him because they knew it wasn’t his fault and he tried to do what he could to stay in.

Cpl/Major Mike

I’d give her five years at hard labor in a real brig.

Jeff LPH 3, 63-66

I guess she maybe “sea” some jail time. Sea ya later loser.

Green Thumb

I am sure they will upgrade her discharge and give her some benefits.

Bitch.

Texan In Exile

I have read all the comments and you are forgetting a few things. The Deserter is female – qualified automatically for special preference.

If she has any sort of legal counsel – they will play the Bo Birdbrain defense. If Bo can leave for years then come back a celebrity, they will never do anything to her. In fact she will probably end get a book deal.

If she does get hard time she will be out, as they will give her credit for Time she was hiding out.

Thunderstixx

I would just love to see a video of her at work when she makes it back.
You know she was bragging it up for going on a cruise and was all about showing off her greatest vacay in the world !!!
BWAHAHAHAHAHA !!!!!

BlueCord Dad

According to an article I just read on “We Are The Mighty”, she was a commissioned officer(Company Commander) out of Ft. Carson CO.

Atkron

AYMFSM?

An Officer?

Claw

Fake news. Amended in other articles later.

RCAF-CHAIRBORNE

Small potatoes…..better off without her.

Fine, then Fire and Forget

Just An Old Dog

She’ll be chaptered out with a General Under Other Than Honorable within a month.

Sapper3307

Was her pay cut off or has she been getting direct deposit for five years?
(seen it)