“Such is how folk heroes are born.”
“Eh, p!ss on him!” I’m sure we’ve all heard a variant of that muttered by someone, directed towards someone in authority – when they’re out of earshot, of course. (smile)
But one time, it literally happened. In that case, the “whizzer” was a relatively junior officer – and the “target”, a GO.
And the junior guy got away with it with nothing but an ass-chewing.
. . .
The date was 21 September 1944. It happened somewhere in the air over Germany.
On that date, the 303th Bombardment Group executed a combat mission against rail yards in Maintz, Germany. Some of the aircraft involved were from the 359th Bombardment Squadron.
That squadron had some months prior instituted a rule prohibiting pilots from leaving the cockpit during a mission.
The earlier practice had been for pilots in need of a “nature call” to go to the bomb bay and take care of business. The new policy was that the pilot and copilot were to relieve themselves out of their respective cockpit windows after cracking them open slightly, allowing the slipstream to carry away the waste fluid. After landing, the pilot was required to clean the window area personally.
During the 21 September mission, the copilot of at least one of the 359th planes had to answer the call of nature. He did so – unaware that the pilot had simultaneously decided to take a “smoke break”, and also had cracked open his cockpit window.
Unfortunately, the smoker’s window created a cross-draft. Not all of the waste fluid went out in the slipstream. Some of it was caught in the cross-draft and struck the smoker dead in the face.
The smoker was Brigadier General Robert F. Travis – CG, 41st Combat Wing. He was flying in that aircraft that day as pilot and mission commander on what was the final mission of his current combat tour.
The copilot was the 359th Bombardment Squadron’s Operations Officer – who was a Captain.
After landing, General Travis chewed the Captain’s butt for an extended period of time. He told the Captain he would award the navigator and bombardier on the crew a DFC, but that the Captain wouldn’t be getting one. He even threatened to court-martial him, but that threat was never carried out. (The fact that General Travis’ tour ended and he left a month later might well have had something to do with that. [smile])
In fact, other than that ass-chewing nothing at all happened to the young Captain. He left the service after World War II, but returned to the USAF in 1948. He then served until January 1977, retiring with 32 years active duty – as a Colonel. One of his last assignments was as the Commander, Rhein-Main Air Base.
The copilot’s name was William E. Eisehnart. As far as I know, he’s the only junior officer who ever literally p!ssed in a general’s face and got away with it. (smile)
Lest you think this story can’t possibly be legit and should begin with, “No sh!t, there I was . . . ”, you can read this online Google Books excerpt from Stephen Frater’s Hell Above Earth; it documents the incident. The title of this article was shamelessly lifted from the end of the incident description in that source.
A second description of the incident can be found here. A third description can be found here.
As of earlier this year, Col. (Ret) William E. Eisehnart was still alive and resided in the Hilton Head, SC, area. May you continue to live long and prosper, Colonel.
Author’s Notes:
1. Yes, this was the same Brigadier General Robert F. Travis who died in a B-29 crash at what was then Fairfield-Suisun AFB, California, in August 1950. The base was renamed Travis AFB in his memory the following year.
2. Hat-tip to the Military Corruption site for the original article I saw concerning the incident. Further research based on information in that original story allowed me to locate the referenced links in the article above.
Category: War Stories, YGBSM!!
If he was able to take that face-ripping without having a sly cheeky grin, then he bloody well DESERVES the DFC.
Hmmm.
Callsign = ?
whizz kid
Streamer
Tinkle
Jeeze, General. Some folks pay extra for that!
You think maybe the General agreed afterwards that perhaps pissing out the window wasn’t the best idea?
I remember reading about this somewhere, I think it was Jablonski’s “Flying Fortress.” Excellent book, by the way, lots of funny stories, and heartbreaking ones, and plenty that make me pray that I could be able to man up as so many bomber crews did under such hellish circumstances.
There was one anecdote about a particular navigator and his ritual of “der fleischer scheiße.” He’d bring a bucket on every mission to Germany (occupied territories were apparently spared the insult), drop a deuce in it right before they hit the European coast, station himself and his turd-filled bucket on the bomb bay catwalk once they reached the IP, and dump it with the ordnance as a personal “fuck you” to Hitler.
On a less comedic note, though, was the plight of the ball turret gunner (I know, common theme among B-17 and B-24 crews). In early 1943, a problem was recognized in which ball turret gunners who needed to piss at an inopportune moment were unwilling to uncover their guns and go through the laborious process of getting out of the turret to use the bomb bay whizz tube while engaged with German fighters. With the only alternative being to leave the plane vulnerable for several minutes, many gunners chose to piss their flight suits and stay on their guns instead. This shorted the suit’s electric heating circuits and allowed the urine to freeze in place and accelerate the frostbite process, and thus several gunners’ willingness to endure a personal indignity to avoid letting their crews down wound up costing them their legs. Personal whizz tubes were installed in the turrets as soon as the problem was recognized, but they were still only good for one use before they were clogged by frozen urine.
Of all the ways to go…