The Official Bottled Water of the UC-Berkeley, Maybe?
No, the photo isn’t a joke. It’s bottled by Polar Seltzer, and the flavor is called “Unicorn Kisses”. The stuff really exists.
I’m guessing it will be very popular among “Progressive” fans of Bernie the Commie, though. It’s based on fantasy – sorta like Bernie the Commie’s view of how things “should be”.
Category: Pointless blather, Who knows, WTF?
God help us….
🙂
BHWHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! ! ! ! !
I forgot oops
🙂
Aloha Snackbar!
Hondo… I bet a certain someone bathes in it for that just fresh socialist feeling that they want from this election
Fear not.
The perfect counter to this ‘water’ exists.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nITLob098W8
I drink 2 quarts every morning, after completing my Ursula Undress of the 1950s snatched via my Time Machine Bang Fest.
Why do I have to go and (re)snatch her every morning? Because The SARC keeps snatching my snatchee.
My dad is short, fat, and broke, but after watching that video he now bangs 20 different chicks a month!
That video was awesome.
mr. sharkman wins the interwebs today. Congrats!
I bet you could have some on the rocks with some Bourbon and bang every Hooters girl in existence!
I got curious, so I did a bit of checking.
In case anyone was thinking this was fake – it turns out that Vytautas Mineral Water is a real product. It’s bottled in Lithuania.
And the first video on the link that follows – while not as good as the one mr. sharkman posted, which is the second video at the link – is also pretty damn funny too (in a warped kinda way).
http://www.adweek.com/adfreak/hands-down-most-messed-halloween-ad-youll-see-year-161067
First vid at the link is probably safe for work, but maybe not for uber prudes or small children. The second one is NSFW for language.
Sometimes I need something besides Morlock vajayjay.
Oh, well played. Well played indeed.
And to go completely off course, but in a good way for a good cause:
I don’t know the last time you saw this version of the movie, but the special effects aged incredibly well.
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0054387/
As for Morlocks, I’m thinking maybe you were partially the inspiration for this tune?
Twang N’ Bang!
Guys, c’mon. If you post a link to something that might possibly be NSFW, remember to post a warning. Don’t want anyone to get in trouble if they look at something here on a break at work.
Hondo,
I apologize and plead partial ignorance.
I did not watch the full video, and thought it was only the song. I was unaware an actual video existed.
I will not make that mistake again.
To any/all who were caught by surprise, I apologize for my F’up.
Mr. Sharkman, thanks bro.! Great music for an old rocker like myself. Great eye candy for an old perv like myself.
De nada, amigo. Just trying to make sure no one gets in trouble with their employer by unknowingly following a link in comments here here.
Some employers are ridiculously prudish – especially when it comes to nudity and/or the f-bomb.
Hondo has had to correct me for the same thing bro. I often forget that some viewers read this stuff a work…not all of them work in a strip club.
It is generally never safe to click on my links either. Thats why I often post them with:
DO NOT CLICK ON THIS LINK
http://uberhumor.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/02/OldManSlut.jpg
Bro Dave….of ALL those who post on this site, how the hell did YOU find a picture of Lars?
Mr Taylor has much prettier eyes.
OH, dear GO-O-O-O-O-ODDDD!
I had to look, didn’t I?
I will never learn. Never.
My God, what has been seen cannot be unseen!!
DO NOT CLICK.
Once seen, it cannot be unseen!
Eye Bleach, STAT!
I saw this on Sunday, because Polar is based in Worcester (pronounced Wooster for you non-bay staters) I wasn’t even a little surprised…
It’s been said that it tastes like “sparkling rainbows” — and it does, if you think that rainbows taste like a combination of bubble gum and taffy.
Yes they really wrote that in the article in the Boston Globe…
https://www.bostonglobe.com/metro/2016/03/28/the-hunt-for-polar-seltzer-new-unicorn-kisses-flavor/wbDh0yuIfHJVImio2ZLwWK/story.html
I don’t know that they sell the stuff in California, being based here on the East Coast and all, but never fear our liberal icons in the Amherst area are drinking it by the gallon.
Of course the Globe will gush over it.
Howie Carr over at the Herald? Not so much.
That could also be enunciated as “woost-uh” or “wuss’ta” in certain dialects of Bay-Speak, as in Glost’a.
Will you piss rainbows after drinking it?
Nope but your urine smells like taffy…
Will it make unicorns shit cotton candy?
I got nuthin’. I figure someone who lives in an area where a beer called Moose Drool is popular better not start slingin’ rocks.
Hey, at least Moose Drool is tasty…
They would be better off buying by the gallon and doing a high colonic to clean out their heads.
Shit Birds!
Hey now! Unicorns gotta pee too- might as well bottle it and make some money…
If this is unicorn piss does that mean Dragons piss Whiskey?
Only the finest top-shelf whiskey.
Nope; dragons piss Everclear and battery acid.
You mean that stuffs not top shelf. I’ve been misled.
I see stuff like that all over the place here in Baltimore….
….God, I can’t wait until moving day…
Hear ya, brother. One day I’ll too shake the dust of the PRofM from my boots, and never look back.
I have just over a month left here and then I finally get to transfer back to NormalPeopleVille. Same here on never looking back on the People’s Republic of Maryland.
Un-fucking-believable….What the fuck is wrong with people? A uni-polar bear, wtf….Pfftttt.
somewhere, a very naughty Narwhal has some serious ‘splaing to do.
QM1: Where in my natal city? Roland Park? Charles Village? Penn North? MICA? Off to Delaware?
Let me put it to you this way. Far too close to “the Wire”land (aka West Baltimore). Although the local city government has done their best to spread the decadence throughout all of the other neighborhoods too, as of late.
It’s only to be expected from such good little Marxist city officials.
They aren’t smart enough to be marxists. They do have that required veneer of “progressive” groupthink, from their sojourns at our reputedly finer universities.
Like hollywierd, read the same stuff, see the same movies, read the same news sources, believe the same nonsense.
Not to mention, in a majority democrat state, like being the number two sled dog, the view never changes.
The feds are also on board with spreading the vibrant diversity around to formerly “nice” neighborhoods. Moving to opportunity redux.
I hope they make a drink with literally glitter so it kills that pansies that drink it.
Thin out the herd.
I have no idea how your delusional mind connected this to UC Berkeley or Bernie Sanders.
It just comes off as petty, desperate trolling.
And you have to be a pretty massive coward to fear communists in America these days.
This was the last prominent American communist.
http://america.aljazeera.com/opinions/2014/1/peet-seeger-communistpartyactivism.html
Scary guy huh? How pathetic do you have to be to still fear a guy like that. He is not even alive anymore yet you are still shaking in your boots about the threat he posed to your way of life.
Never cease to disappoint Lars. Never. Oh I owe an apology to ExPH2 also. Used to think she should give you more of a chance also. Not anymore poodle boy. You really should endeavor to be more like a SgtMaj who used to come around.
The late, great Warren Oates! I miss him and the real actors that used to make the movies worth watching.
An awful lot of people that WERE in the world are dead because of “prominent communists.” Most of those were Russian and Chinese, although there were a few other places where the local communists fertilized the landscape quite effectively, also. That’s why we fear American communists — because we prefer to buy our fertilizer from Nitro-Green, not get turned under ourselves to make the grass grow.
By the way…how long have you been a member of our national Commie Party?
Yep. Over 140 million, to be precise – in three such regimes alone (the USSR, the PRC, and the Khmer Rouge regime in Cambodia).
https://www.hawaii.edu/powerkills/NOTE1.HTM
Oh, and that’s ONLY those murdered by those governments through deliberate policy and its consequences. It doesn’t include wartime casualties.
That, Taylor, is why anyone with half a brain fears any forms of totalitarian state – but especially those of Communist origin. Because those of Communist origin have been, hands down, historically the worst at industrial-scale killing of civilian populations outside of wartime collateral casualties. Even the Nazis were mere amateurs by comparison.
Larsie-poo, you come here, desperately seeking validation for your existence, and then throw it all in the shitter by citing Al Jazeera? Wow, your idiocy knows no bounds, does it, Sparkle Pony?
As for your contention about Seeger, two words for you, Van Jones.
Nah. For validation i would have to pay more attention to what you guys think.
I rarely even read comments at all anymore. Not worth the time.
The ratio of bullshit to benefit was too low.
Then if you don’t, why do you still come here?
Lars wants whatever attention he can get now that getting a warm enema from his Mommy is out of the question (which probably rinsed his brains out!). Once he does that, he disappears thinking that he’s “taken hith football and gone thtwait home!”.
And that’s what turned me on Lars. He’s not here for intelligent discussion. He’s here to be a troll. He’s mentioned several times that he is doing research on some type of project and the veterans here are who he’s getting his information from. I’m sure he goes to wherever he goes to when he’s not here and dances late into the night, naked telling story of counting coup and his mental exploits here on us mentally deficient folks.
Tell me I’m wrong Lars.
Christ on a pony…he’s using TAH as a source for a thesis. Probably Psychology or Sociology. Dealing with or interacting with a defined demographic, even on a blog, counts as a form of field research. If what you say is true about veterans, TAH is being used as Taylors laboratory.
That’s exactly what I think is happening. He has to have another motive for being here other than camaraderie. I think he does what he has to walk the fine line between getting banned and staying controversial. He’s definitely not here because his praises are being sung.
Animal … that reminds me of a favored quote from Ted Turner.
Turner once said, “There’s a fine line between being colorful and being an asshole … and I hope I’m still just colorful.”
Find Lars in there anywhere you wish …
Lars is colorful allright. The whole spectrum of the rainbow. The more I ponder this the more questions come up. He’ll do something like on this post, disappear for a couple of days, then reappear and post a incongruous comment like all is well in the world. I used to feel bad for him when he would get blown out of the water on seemingly good willed comments. There is no doubt Lars is an intelligent person (book knowledge) and I’m just not buying anymore that it’s all to no purpose.
He’s probably making money taking bets on how long it takes to piss off everyone on TAH. He’s also counting on how predictable you/we are. It’s theater for him – cheap entertainment.
Ain’t that right, Poodle-dick?
That would be an easy bet to make for him then. He makes one post and takes over the whole topic. When I make my daily check and see a post with a large number of comments I know Lars opened his sewer pipe.
In Lars defense what he meant to say was he rarely reads the articles before commenting.
Lars, you rat bastard P O S…I could give a shit whether you respond or not, but PLEASE see my comments at the bottom of the post…”That’s Just Not Who We Are”. I’d love to be able to say it directly to your face.
“I rarely even read comments at all anymore.”
Subject. Verb. Direct Object.
I. Read. Comments.
Pronoun. Verb. Noun.
With respect to ratios, 4:8 of the words in that semi-literate clause are adverb modifiers. There could be a reason why you find the “ratio of bullshit to benefit” too low.
even
rarely
anymore
at all
Work on subject-verb tense agreement and check in again, when you have more time.
Well then, if the ratio isn’t worth the justification; please politely fuck off. We don’t need you here and you obviously don’t need to hear the opinions of the website. Im sure there are plenty of websites out there that would gladly fulfill your need for attention.
This is not a plea to get you to stop posting(inb4 you cry. “WAHHH YOU GUYS COMPLAIN ABOU”T COMMUNISM AND THEN WANT TO SUPPRESS MY SPEECH!”); but you would think an educated man, such as you claim to be, would apply Occam’s razor from time to time.
You don’t listen here and don’t respect people here. People don’t listen to you or respect you. Therefore, you should bow out and go away.
Simple really.
Cheers,
Your friendly neighborhood realist.
He comes her for all the commentary and prints it up for his professors, socialist friends and others that are special snowflakes and tells them that all of his male white privilege is a result of his time in the military and that the big bad people here needs to go to “reeducation centers” under a Bernie presidency.
Bernie is going to make it all feel better for special socialist snowflakes like Larsie-poo-poo. He will finally get his Skittle shitting unicorn and all of the bottle water he wants and all other cool stuff because he’s BALLS DEEP FOR BERNIE!
Now leave him alone so he can study for his class in famous 19th Century Transylvanian Transvestites that wrote for Rhodesian Newspapers with a total circulation of less than 300. It’s a required non-elective for his MasterPhD in Social Justice Warfare (it costs him $300k per semester for such quality edukations from a world famous skool of soicla ekwality!!!)
So if Bernie bails, I assume he’ll become a Hillarrhoid.
“I have no idea…”
Yet, despite the lack of anything more compelling or saliently persuasive, you managed to roust up a volley of invective that Al Sharpton wouldn’t have bothered with?
Delusional
Petty
desperate
trolling
Coward
prominent
pathetic
shaking in your boots
“So how does it taste?
Some fans on social media say a mix of cucumber and Sweet Tarts. Others say it conjures up tastes of candy apples or tropical Jolly Ranchers.”
Sounds like Berkeley, to me, not your ordinary purple drank!
Well, if it ain’t the predictable poodle person!
You really need to start your own blog, Poodle. They’re free, you know, but they require that you think before you post and also, proofreading is a good idea. It’s much more believable to say ‘Oops! Didn’t proofread!’ than to blame your typos on some mysterious mental disorder that suddenly appeared when you left the Army
Oh, while I’m at it, since you claimed a while back that you were porking several women, you really need to get tested for human papilloma virus. It’s a lethal little bugger that causes cervical and uterine cancer in women, and oral/throat cancer in both men and women. If you’re boinking multiple partners, you could be spreading it. And, yeah, it’s YOUR fault if they develop any of those cancers because you can’t keep your pants zipped and your wick dry. And do you know how you get oral cancers from that? Two guesses, poodle.
Don’t anyone tell him now. Let him figure it out for himself.
Oh, do you know how someone looks after developing that kind of cancer, poodle? Take a look at Roger Ebert before he died of throat cancer, asshole.
FWIW: Taylor, the last sentence of my article above spells out in detail the connection between Bernie the Commie and this product – e.g., both are based on a fanciful story that anyone with half a brain can see is untrue. Sort of like Communism.
The fact that much of what passes for “education” at UC-Berkeley is similarly based on intellectual fantasy and wishful thinking is even more obvious. Your blithering, half-assed and at best semi-coherent diatribes here prove that far better than anything I could write.
HEY LARS, find someone who actually gives two hoots of a flying ratshit fuck about your feelings (NOT ME or any of the other TAH Regulars!) and have them call a *WAAAAAH*mbulance to come give you a group hug, a peanut butter sandwich and some fresh Kool-Aid while everyone sings a few verses of “Kum-ba-yah” for you. Seriously, if you ever need someone to cry to about what or how you feel, DON’T LOOK AT ME!!!
And YOU have to be one stuuupid S. O B. to make statements like that. You pathetic girlie boy in all your blithering. Get the f__k out of here and go suck on Kim Jong-un’s Johnson as if it were a lollipop. You are a damned joke with a bad ending Lars. What? You be just another commie pinko fag? I suspect so and would love to find a photo of you on your knees in front of Putin.
I bet he has dreams of Castro holding his hand like he did B. Hussein 0bama’s in that limp-wristed fashion!
Along with a big lump in his throat. Guess what the lump is? CLUE….a product of a custard launcher.
Man-mayo?
Nut Butter?
He dreams of Castro holding “little Lars” in that limp-wristed fashion.
I don’t care what they say about you Mr Taylor…I still love your eyes.
http://www.jibjab.com/view/4FQ4U0–TmGhziB2dgT1ZA?utm_campaign=URL+Copy&utm_content=never_gonna_give_you_up&utm_medium=Share&utm_source=JibJab&cmpid=jj_url
His picture reminds me….I’m still a tit man.
Come on…he is kinda cute. Maybe he does like flowers in his water.
I fuck with him, but he did serve honorably. He might be full of shit most of the time but he is our brother…like it or not.
Not.
hahahahaha…freakin jarhead.
love ya brother.
S/F Bro.
Brother from another mother??
More like an adopted Hatfield who decided to go join the McCoys, IMO.
Surely you jest. Call it a learned military DNA…in our case from one Chesty Puller. It is simply a common binder known as Esprit De Corps; known to all Marines, SEALS, Rangers, Spec. Forces, etc…more often addressed as camaraderie. Ask Dave Hardin for a more detailed explanation. He has more patience and a better manner of explaining things. Lars, on the other hand, has the uncanny ability to bring out the very worst in any human. Some of us occasionally need to be reminded of a nasty character flaw….”Does not play well with others”. Seventy years old and still wanting to bust that girlie bitch over the head. Again, if you were seriously wondering, ask Hardin.
LMAO, CLASSIC!!! ????
Touched a nerve, there, Lars?
Hey LARS, so do UC Berserkely critters use it for drinking, enemas, or bong water?
And your way of life. You run your suck quite often with no fear of consequence or repercussions.
Communists frequently have purges.
You should remember that as you would more than likely fall into that “undesirable” category for a litany of reasons.
I just popped 2 bags of popcorn for this one!!
I wonder if it’s April Fools Day release is a clue.
Mom! Hondo’s being mean to Lars again!
Sheesh, it’s as if Taylor’s funny bone was amputated a birth.
Speaking as a card-carrying Californian, my own view is that if the wily Yankees in Woo-stah made it, they’re the ones who own it. On the other hand, it wouldn’t surprise me to hear the nasty swill was a big seller among Bernie supporters if they’re the kind of guy who attends My Little Pony conventions in San Francisco…
“My Little Pony conventions in San Francisco…”
I can’t fucking stop laughing….
And for the love of God, choked on my popcorn….
Gotta love those Bronies…
I wasn’t even aware that was a thing until recently…
Bronies?
Sadly that’s exactly how I imagine these weird bastards lead their lives while enjoying a toy for little girls as grown men…
The ones who dress up and go to the conventions are the ones who are really disturbing. What the fuck is wrong with these crazy bastards?
Not sure I’ve got an answer for the “crazy bastard” question, VOV. That might be more in the area of Lars’ expertise…
Or this:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=t6023crXgIQ
Hey listen API….if you’re gonna provide a shopping cart full of temptations for that Schmendrick Lars, you’ll have to go through TAH Codes Dept. for a business license.
The other day someone told me Lars was having dinner with a couple and the wife asked Lars how much salad he would like. He said, “Just a small amount please”. The wife responded, “Now Lars, you need not be so formal and polite around us”. To which Lars replied, “O K bitch, give me a bowl full!”
From the warped mind of a slightly disturbed Jarhead….If shit was brains, Lars has a septic tank on top of his shoulders!”
I wonder if “Snake Eyes” Jordan has placed his order?
Word is that ol’ Stevie “I suck trouser snakes” Jordan uses this stuff to massage his fractured taint and for ice water enemas as part of his “Call of Doodie” seekrit operater trainin’
I bet he gives himself enemas with it!