Philip Colepaugh; dishwasher phony SEAL

| January 1, 2015

Scotty sends us his work on this Philip Colepaugh fellow. According to his resume posted on line, he’s a professional dishwasher and he figures that adding “Navy SEAL Lieutenant Senior Grade” somehow enhances his dish washing skills and makes him somehow more marketable in the clean eating utensils industry. The truth is that he spent less than a month in the Navy back in the early days of the all-volunteer force when all you needed was a pulse to stay on active duty.

Philip Colepaugh FOIA

That’s pretty sad that he spent more time waiting to go to basic training than he did in basic training. But according to Scottie, young Philip trained for his dishwashing profession in the North Carolina Public Safety System.

Category: Phony soldiers

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Oh, let me. Please.

Hey! Phil! There is NO SUCH THING AS A LIEUTENANT SENIOR GRADE, you mordant pickle-sucking codpiece clamp.

Thank you, Jonn! You made my day. Now I will be laughing myself silly while I’m finishing Georgette Heyer’s ‘Toll Gate’.

Tactical Facepalm


I need permission from you to puh-lease use that needs-to-be-copyrighted phrase from you. I’ve been reading a lot of TAH, but haven’t seen anything quite that caliber before. love it!


Go for it, TF. I have an ass-chewing episode coming up in two stories, so I’m practising my ass-chewing rhetorical skills ahead of time.

Also, you may find the attached list of Shakespeare’s insults to be of use. He was, of course, The Master.

Open Channel D

That’s right, the real posers know it’s not LtSG,
it’s Lieutenant, Upper Half


Sure am glad I wasn’t drinking anything when I read that. 🙂

Hack Stone

On occasion, I wash dishes at Stately Stone Manor. Can I get a certificate attesting to my SEAL qualifications?


Well, if you do and I find out about it….

Hack Stone

My dish pan hands are a dead give away. Maybe I should take Madge’s advice and use Palmolive.


But wait… you’re soaking in it.

Hack Stone

These young whippersnappers have no idea what we are referring to. I have to go now, Josephine The Plumber is due to arrive at any moment, and for some reason, I feel compelled to strategically place canisters of Comet Cleanser throughout Stately Stone Manor.


I’m suddenly feeling old



“It’s diswashing liquid?”

Thanks Madge!


Yo … Not so fast!

Back in the late 70’s when everything in the military worked perfectly, Navy SEALs often were immersed in other arers of socierty to gain valuable skills and insight. The Immersion Directly In Other Terrain (IDIOT) Program was cancelled shortly after a SEAL was detailed to a circus as a clown!

Look it up!


Spray alert at all, Master Chief? I have now wasted a mouthful of mango tea at that comment.


Well, the criminal history would probably explain why there aren’t many legit entries in his bio for employment during the 1980s and 1990s. Most criminals who’ve done time for what appears to have been multiple felonies try to avoid mentioning that fact.

Hack Stone

He could just do what Paul Wickre does for any period of time incarcerated, and just say that he was employed by the County or State. Just leave out the part about making license plates or picking up trash.

Green Thumb

All-Points Logistics could definitely use this clown in their food services division.

Pineywoods NCO

Sure, let’s put Philip into their culinary division, that way APL from top to bottom can starve or eat what they are made out of…shit.

A Proud Infidel®™

Another possum-headed candyassed sniveling mouse turd of a flaming fart pickle!! Are we about to see another tsunami of these turdballs? I wonder how soon we’ll have another one go a “Bernathian” kind of turbo-apeshit crazy?

B Woodman

I don’t think it will be a tsunami. I think it will be a steady stream, all year long. Weather it will be a trickle or a Mississippi is up to them.

A Proud Infidel®™

You mean like candyassed little sparkly Snot Pony sphincter pickle-brain Ron Mailahn resurrecting his thread? The little snurf-lusting glitter-farting tinsel mouse will have to put in some serious overtime being turbocharged full-throttle STUPID in order to get himself just up to Visconi level!!


With the sniper movie being released over Christmas,( no I didn’t see it, I’m not a fanboy) I think we’re going to get BURIED in fake SEALs over the coming months.


Uh-oh, someone’s been watching “Under Siege” again!

“I’m just a cook. A lowly, lowly cook.”

John Robert Mallernee

Actually, in this particular case, I’m probably more concerned with the misspelling of “SEPARATION” on an official military document, indicative of acquiescent acceptance of a national lowering in literacy standards.


John Robert , That was my double digit typo. Anything is possible before my first pot of coffee in the morning. Or after my first sip from the mason jar in the evening.

John Robert Mallernee


I apologize for my too hasty misjudgment.

I thought it was a photostatic copy of an original official document.


No offense taken John. I only wish that we would have caught the typo before it was posted. We still got the message right. Even if the spelling is fubar 🙂

Big Steve

Yikes. Just looked at his resume on Scotty’s page. He was a dishwasher, security guard, and drove a bread truck.
Life after the SEALs hasn’t been good to old Philip.

I M Simpleton

Is he any relation to the Nazi spy William Colepaugh?

SFC Raikkonen

I don’t always wash dishes. But when I do, I wear a SEAL Trident.

What a dumbfuck retard.

SFC Raikkonen

Forgot to mention,

FIRST DOUCHEBAG OF THE YEAR!!! YAYYY!!!!! Way to start the new year haha.

Happy New Year everyone!

Big Steve

Thanks, Top


Hey, “Ive tried scrubbing,even spaying, but I still get…” ring around the fake Navy SEAL.

Carlton G Long

Oh, brother…what a winning resume…including his 30 day gig as dishwasher and stretching it to a paragraph



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