You people are savages. You hear me? Savages.

{NOTE, Read the first post before this one if you haven’t already.}

You guys are getting almost every damn question wrong, and it is starting to annoy me. Let’s go through the results thus far.

Question 1, your walk on song.
Your answer, at 33.1% is Afternoon Delight.

That is the wrong answer. In fact, that is dead last. The correct answer was Sail, by AWOL Nation.

The others awarded various points, you get 0 for SLVB.

Question 2, Commercial girl you can’t handle.
Your answer, at 49 percent is Kate Upton.

Now, I am chalking that up to her coming with a free sandwich, which was unfair. But any of the answers are acceptable. For me, gotta be the redhead. The blonde got NO love from you guys, and I think she’s sneaky close to being at the top. The Nationwide Ninja chick (country music star Jana Kramer) though I found out is dating a TE for the Redskins who is on IR, who no one has ever heard of. Being an IR Tight End for the Washington Football team though is lower down the ecosystem from unknown military blogger though, so she’s high up for me.

Question 3, best cartoon ever.
Your answer, at 39.8 percent is Tom and Jerry.

Unacceptable. Not however as egregious as you degenerates who answered Captain Planet who should go swirly yourselves.
The answer was Herculoids. In fact, that is almost always the answer. It has a triceratops shooting lasers. Lasers people.

Question 4, worst TV show.
Your answer, at 51 percent is The View.

Largely all of them are terrible. However, in terms of terribleness, the View doesn’t crack the top 2, which are (in order) Teen Mom, and Sex in the City. The first is unwatchable under any circumstance. I’d rather shave with my lawnmower than watch it. And the second stars Seabiscuit and she is a reprehensible equine. Shockingly, Project Runway is the least objectionable. I know this because while courting my wife I had to watch two episodes with my Mother in Law, and I’m still here.

Question 5, worst candy.
Your answer, at 44.9 percent is a rock.

I get that. I myself believe Necco Wafers are the worst. My wife didn’t even know what they were. It was like eating chalk.

Question 6, cereal.
Your answer, at 34.6 percent was Grape Nuts.

That answer is correct. The only possible way to choke that dirt down was to bury it in sugar, and wait for it to sort of mushify, and then eat it. Kaboom I need not mention was the worst. Shredded wheat always seemed like a form of punishment.

Best day ever at my house, when I came home to these:

Question 7, the story of my life.
Your answer keeps flip flopping at 40 percent between John Goodman and Steve Buschemi.

I realized after the fact that I wasn’t clear if the question who should play me (TSO) or yourself, so all of them are right. If it is me though, it would be Brick, from the Middle. (Head down, “The Middle.”)

Question 8, Firefly Hottie.
Your answer, at 32.9 percent was Kaylee.

Two things about this one….First, I got an email from a friend that read, in toto, “Saffron. Anyone not picking her or Inara is gay or a pedophile.”

In one sense, he’s not wrong. But he also picked the two that you placed last and second to last. But honestly, none of the choices is “wrong” per se.

Never the less, 67.1 percent of you are still wrong, and will be barred from my nuptials to Ms. Staite in the case of an untimely demise of the current Mrs TSO.

Question 9, gay genie defense.
Your answer, at 37.1 is Neil Patrick Harris.

Look, he is an attractive man. And a doctor. And in that one episode of HIMYM he had the playbook, so would make a great wingman. But you people don’t understand the hot chick mentality. Hot chicks hang out with effeminate dudes, not manly ones. Which means your only true defense is a bear. A big, gay bear, willing to do what needs to be done.

Question 10, ink blots.
Your answer, at 39.8 percent was Blood Splatter Analysis.

I can accept that. To me, it looks like Pandas. If you see nothing, you really should probably seek help. And if you see me and Tom Brady, you should REALLY seek help, because we would nuzzle face to face so I could stare into his eyes when we talk about Ugg slippers while his Mom made pancakes.

Question 11, most ridiculous.
Your answer, at 51.9 percent was the losing litigant.

Come on man! This was a total gimmee.

So basically the results of my survey are that:
1) You people of my age are savages.
2) Most of you don’t know my references.
3) I should have responded to dude offering to figure out what our readers actually want.

Category: Politics