A survey for our male, and curious female readers
Nationwide Ninja Chick for those asking:
[I think she is a country music star now]
I got an email this morning that if I wanted to increase our traffic here, we needed to do research into our readers. That made sense to me. But the emailer said they would do this for a low low cost, that was way more than I can afford. (The greatest legal mind of our generation owes me $863, and likes to point out I am the lowest paid attorney in America.)
Therefore, I decided to do this shit on my own. I don’t need no fancy company. I’ll just Survey Monkey this thing, and see where we stand. So, please answer these questions honestly and truthfully. Just the first thing that pops into your mind.
Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.
Two additional questions that need answering, and utilize pictures.
Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.
Last question:
Create your free online surveys with SurveyMonkey , the world’s leading questionnaire tool.
Category: Politics
When you say “curious female readers” are you talking about those of us investigating a transgender lifestyle?
God Dammit Jonn, you’re a sexy dyke!
😉
Where’s Eric Holder? This survey is age biased…I’ve never heard of most of the choices. No Sponge Bob references?
“Its Halloween 1977”
Actual Answer: you will not be born for another 15 years.
Watchdogonezero…“Its Halloween 1977″
Yea right, I was already 30 something. But…I’d really cheap out on the trick or treaters with the “one each” rule. Even the little cutsy, cutsy ones. Then scarf down Snickers, Mars Bars and Almond Joys ALL night. Slept like a baby but I’m pretty sure the next morning my blood and pee would have shown Type 2 Diabetes. 😀
My comment above is “awaiting moderation.” Don’t know why. Who knew?
I think you fat fingered the Email Sparks.
Enigma4you…Probably. But I keep scrolling up to look at the redhead!
TSO,
Not many folks a friends with you on FB and may not get the Hot Dog reference.
Because I also contributed, I think you should have a TSO’s halloween costume abuse thread here for TAH.
/cause that shiat on your FB page was teh FUNNY!!!
Shame on those people for not being my FB friend. I’ve never been battered that bad….ever. But I knew it was coming. If I don’t throw myself under the bus every month or two one of you guys would do it for me. Better to control the explosion.
Everyone else: Go friend me. https://www.facebook.com/mark.seavey
My fiance and I were in tears laughing looking through some of those submissions on your wall… you have one hell of a good sense of humor.
“Battered”??
Dude, you weren’t a CORN dog…..
😀 😀 😀 😀
Battered hot dog? Maybe a strange, twisted sexual reference??? (Oh God! Brain bleach!!! Brain bleach!!!!)
Too bad I ain’t got the skills or there would have been a Hot Dog/Mr. Slave TSO crossover…
In question 2, I would have chosen to hit the brunette from the AT&T commercials like the fist of an angry god, but sadly, she was not a choice.
I’m googling that one now. Honestly, I’m kind of hot for Jan in the Toyota commercials lately. It used to be Flo for me.
FLO? Progressive FLO? I’d rather put it in a vise or date that flamer designer from ‘Mannequin’…
Nah, those Flo type gals are wild women….screamers usually…that’s always entertaining at home but can be a bit obnoxious at your local Marriott….
One thing I’ve learned as I’ve gotten older is that my standards are apparently not all that difficult to achieve. The primary requirement for me for a woman is that she shows up and is a willing participant (she can pretend otherwise, but that’s a whole other story)….beyond that I don’t require much. That’s a self realization that took a while to sink in, but we are who we are I suppose.
That’s why God gave us the light switch.
Red heads! Always go with a red if you can handle the temper, afterwards.
http://uproxx.com/tv/2014/04/meet-the-actress-who-plays-lily-your-att-commercial-crush/
TSO…Progressive Flo??? Are you kiddin’ me? Please tell me you’re kiddin’ here! No way my man. TOO much makeup and way TOO much bright red lipstick. She’s not a “real” redhead either. I don’t care what the commercial shows, my money says, “the carpet doesn’t match the drapes”.
Yes, YES! With the power of a thousand suns, Yes!
NHSparky…I looked her up…sorry no way bro! Not over the readhead on the top of the thread. I’d toss that brunette out of the second floor window for the readhead!
I answered Carl’s Jr. I like a sammich once in a while, especially if it has cheese and bacon, or just bacon, either way.
Old Trooper…No such thing as “too much bacon or too much cheese”.
Hahaha, the Jawa costume was cutting it pretty close to home for me one year.
I feel old…
I went for the Sammitch
Space Ghost Coast to Coast would have been a good choice
Space Ghost the talk show host…the funniest show ever made. He would interview real people and then the questions would be changed for the airing.
Best. Show. Eveahhhhh.
The ink blot looks like Zorak!
In case you don’t know Spaaaaaaaace Ghost:
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x22w0dc_space-ghost-coast-to-coast-speck_fun
Robot Chicken.
All others are fake.
The questions were great but I didn’t recognize many answer choices. Thanks for making me feel a day younger than dirt.
No shit! I just sat there and wondered if I should waste time looking all that stuff up.
Unless your year of birth was between 1965 and 1975, I can see how folks wouldn’t get some of them. Honestly, I wrote the options in like 10 minutes. LOL. We’ll do another one soon.
Well you hit the Halloween one right on, I WAS 7 in 1977.
Shit, I was 9.
2/17 Air Cav…I feel ya brother. I had to Google a lot of those names.
Best cartoon evah of course is Wil E Coyote and Roadrunner. Ahh nostalgia.
Fritz The Cat,
Heavy Metal
Should also be choices 🙂
Gotta go with vintage Bugs, with WEC and RR a very close second. Re. #2 – damn, the redhead is smokin’…. but my answer is “all of ’em, singly or all at once”. At least I would die happy.
Yes-TSO is now officially dead to me for leaving out that option.
Dead, I say.
Also, only Ed O’Neill can play me in the movie.
He just gets me.
Also why are the Giants not pitching Bumgarner in games 1, 4 and 7?
P.S. Greg Holland is my homeboy!
Tequila…Wil E Coyote and Roadrunner. Yep you can’t beat anything made by “Acme”!
Man oh man, if I ever needed more evidence that I’m out of step with the current generation, and even some of my peers, this is it!
Why isn’t “None of the above” a choice on all of those questions? Lol.
Or “who the hell is that?” would have been good answers for me.
Jacobite…It’s all cool brother. I had to go to IMDB to look up “Firefly” so I could see who the babes were.
Doesn’t matter, any answer other than Morena Baccarin is irrelevant.
That blood spatter is key to my murder defense…
No. It’s mine. I called it. Lol.
Didn’t you use to have that exact one hanging in your room up in Alaska?
Make Mine Moxie…I chose that answer too. But ONLY because TSO, being a prude, didn’t include “Upside Down View Of Vagina” as one of the choices.
My apologies to all the fine TAH ladies in the room.
The answer to question 2, with the benefit of the age/experience the wording of the question makes clear our young friend TSO obviously lacks:
5) All – just not simultaneously (unless mutually agreeable to all of the lovely ladies). And for far longer than 20 seconds each. (smile)
Hondo…From another of “our” generation, thank you. As I get older, I am open to far more options than I believed possible in years past. 😀
Damn right. Given the truism of George Burns’ “now it takes all night to do what I used to do all night”, I would expect any apologies to be gently accepted… by me.
Definitely Kate Upton. There’s a snow ball’s chance in hell that she would ever have sex with me. But then, at my age and infirmity, a excellent sammich is just as good as sex.
And thanks for the music reference, TSO. Now I have, “Sky rockets in flight…” burning a hole in my head. Damn you!!!!!!
Question 1: the fanfare for Rocky Balboa
Question 2: I’m not a lesbian, try again
Question 3: Smurfs
Question 4: See Answer #2. I do movie marathons, not TV marathons.
Addl survey #1: angry camel with MERS
Addl survey #2: Correct answer takes too long.
Re: #3: I could say Tripping the Rift, but you had to be there.
According to our favorite air plane crasher you are, and we all know that he always tells the tru… Sorry I couldn’t even spell truth while thinking of that creature.
Can I say that or am I stirring a pot best left alone? It’s been a while. I’ll take my flogging readily it not.
Yes, but that’s always the refuge of the wanker with the little secret, you see.
as the stews used to say about their pilots: big watch, little….
Ex-PH2…Good answers m’lady!
I got a rock…
These questions were awkward.
TSO you know more about things than you should.
Next survey question:
How much does Bernath owe you and/or your lawyers?
TSO…I answered of course, without second thought, the red head. The one on the top of the thread. Hands down, nothing as alluring to me as a beautiful redhead like her. Just gets me all twitterpated. I could barely answer the other questions because I was constantly scrolling back up to look at her. By the way, I now have her photo saved in my, “Photos Of Current Schematic Issues” folder. You know, the one titled that so, if the wife grabs my laptop for ANY reason, she’ll NEVER think to open that folder. You can’t imagine the “spank bank” babes I have there. Man, isn’t technology GREAT!? 😀 😀 😀
Sorry to say, but your wife knows what’s in there. They know, they always know. They find out at the beauty salon…
If you labeled it “porn” she’d never look in it because that would be too obvious.
I noticed Phildo was not included in the survey.
Sad.
Green Thumb…Word
Just wasn’t a big enough TURD Survey I guess.
I had to do the survey, even though I’ve been absent lately I just had to.
I had to pick Kate Upton due to having a sandwich (they’ll be hard to come by post apocalypse and all.) And on the TV divorce question there should have been a “all the above” one.
Valkyrie…”And on the TV divorce question there should have been a “all the above” one.”
Yes, I deliberated a while on that one. But when the images of Whoopi’s and Rosie’s mug came into my head “The View” was a no brainer.
I had to go with Sex in the City. Those brain dead shoe whores made all women look a little bit dumber.
Really? I look at Sex n’ the City as an example of most groups of women you find in a bar. Isn’t that what its about?
One is a mess who doesn’t know what to do with her life
One is a slut banging half the city
One is a lesbian (especially if she won’t give you her number)
One is a prude until you date her long enough, but then she breaks up with you.
I watched one episode once, that’s what I came up with…
I rest my case.
The only answers I really knew anything about, or were sure of were:
“Afternoon delight”
“Blood spatter”
I didn’t recognize any of the “talent” names in the enire survey.
How about adding the red-headed Wendy’s girl or Jessica Rabbit? Either of them would do.
If any straight guy here didnt put down Kaylee from Firefly, Im afraid youre going to have to turn in your man cards.
Had to google-image Kaylee. Nah — I’ll take the Wendy’s girl anyday.
Or Jessica Rabbit.
Seriously! No GI Joe or Johnny Quest as options? WTFO? Are you all left wing communists hot dog suckers?
Bad example Charles. Realize this survey was done by a guy who’s biggest claim to fame in 2014 is wearing a hot dog costume that’s photo-shopped into over 10,000 pics on the internet in two weeks.
That’s not entirely accurate.
It’s my biggest claim to fame since 1970.
Read the questions and could not relate in any way to the answer possibilities. So, figured the comments just might shed some light on the subjects.
Nope. About the last thing I understood was about increasing traffic. Gee, thanks, all, for contributing to my now feeling older than dirt.
Meh, I gotta say:
#1, “Wild Thing” sang by Jimi Hendrix.
#2, The Insurance Babe
#3, Woody Woodpecker!
#4, ALL OF THE ABOVE!!!
#5, Yeah, the Necco wafers, they make Charms from an MRE seem tasty!!
#6, Shredded Wheat.
#7, John Goodman
#8, Damifino, never watched “Firefly”.
#9, Mike Ditka
The inkblot? Change the color to brown and it will be perfect for a t-shirt with “WHO FARTED?” as a caption!
Last but not least, the failed lawer/aviation fuel estimator!
I’ll take Kate Upton. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do in creation for a shot at her.
I love south park but then HERCULOIDS!!!! And suddenly it felt like Saturday morning here. Maybe because I was snacking on the smarties that I may not give out next week at this rate.
To find out about add girls, type in “who is that hot ad girl” in your browser. good info on ad babes.
That Rorsharch? It’s a uterus.
I love redheads!
Who is Kate Upton?