75th Ranger phony stationed in Nevada
I put this on Facebook yesterday and the folks who are our fans over there really enjoyed a well-crafted tale told by a real snake-eating specops guy, so i brought it over here for you sociopaths who don’t Facebook. It’s from an email I got inquiring about the truthiness of a guy. Of course, I dutifully looked him up and couldn’t find him listed anywhere, but you know he’s pretty secret squirrel, so give me your opinion from the reading;
Says he’s 75th ranger special ops tan beret. But that he gets to live here in NV and only has to go back to Benning when called in for a mission. Says these are only intelligence-based special missions he does. Something about ODB or ODI detachment unit.
Said he has been in Army for 12 years and wasn’t going to re-up so probably get out in 7 or 8 months. Then a few days later tells me he got a letter from his colonel saying he could be discharged now but would need to fly to Benning to sign the papers.
Goes to Benning that weekend and comes back saying his commander has invited him to join Green Berets and asked him to take a week to think about it. Flies back to Benning the following week deciding to discharge. Then I get a call telling me his captain has asked him to do one more mission before being discharged, and that it will be 10 to 15 days and then his is done and out.
Leaves for said mission and calls me seven days later saying it got done early and they came back “minus one.” Told me he flew back on a C-30 with a pine box covered with an American flag with his fallen 75th Ranger. He talks a lot about battles and details.
I’m not adding his name to the story because I don’t want the emailer to get in trouble and I haven’t perfected the TAH Witness Protection Program yet.
Category: Phony soldiers
For Fucks sake…..this is why we really need a damn life guard at the gene pool.
This should be oodles of fun when you figure out how to out this clown.
I really hope he lives upstate or over the hump in Pahrump. I don’t want to breathe the same air this ass breathes.
Doc Savage: sound to me like we need some extra chlorine for the gene pool vice a lifeguard. (smile)
Wow, I know nobody has that many leave days…. And Amazing how he magically clears post and the 75th magic bullshit battalion
I know a large-animal vet that is really quick at neutering large animals that shouldn’t be in the breeding pool.
That is, if anyone wants his info.
C-30. He flew back on a 1930’s auto-gyro? Impressive!
/sarc
i dont know what yall are talking about, this sounds totally legit. yall didnt know the 75th has a reserve bat in nevada?
Smitty: would that be a pet Sonoran Lesser Long-Nosed Bat, or another species? If it’s the former, I hope the unit’s permit for owning an endangered species is in order – or the envio-whackos will be on them like Jonn on a military phoney. (smile)
Totally Legit:
Since sequestration kicked in, it is widely known that the military has shifted to using pine boxes as an effective cost saving measure.
Jeez guys, all of us secret squirrel types use slang like c-30 cause we are so high speed and just plain cooler than you are
@3..Hondo..gonna need something rated to kill E.Coli….Because “the Bullshit Force is strong in this one”
Soooo, this Nevada Legg is merely a bla, bla, bla. Do you all think he is profiting in some way. He is just an Army Ranger fan.. If he was a Navy Seal… you TAHers would be “squirting on your keyboards” already. Right..?
He is sort of like the fake profile… “HONDO”. Now the “Hondo” hereon is not really the hero like John Wayne in the movie and TV series, either. But “Hondo Hereon” thinks he is… Just for this same fun; butt via Mil/Kook cyber/mob blogs’ games entertainment, thingy. Right..?
These particular mob/postings hereon, about this guy visibly
scribes the “ants in your pants” cyber stalk and publicize your illegal activities in the name of Stolen Valor. You people should be ashamed of yourselves.
I wonder what “Don Shipley’s Fake Profile” is hereon.. Anybody know..? Asks the real deal combat wounded and disabled Vietnam War Veteran of the elite Airborne Rangers (LRP)s trained in Vietnam by Special Forces Commanders.
Both of my Vietnam War Combat IIFFV Unit Commanders were famous Green Berets and were real John Waynes of the Helicopter War. They both selected me and awarded me rank & medals.
Have you wennies found any real-live people witnesses to your internet misinformation campaign proclamations about me..? I bet NOT.. See where you really are..
You idiots, hereon, can not find one real person to back your asses up in real-time.
Hey, looky here, looky here, elltee! Look what I found down this rathole! Another dickless short bus patrol wannabe LRKR, 5th degree!!!
Flush him out, boys! PUt his bAllS to the wAll!!
Is it a full moon?…kids, this is why it is so very important to stay off drugs, and move out of moms basement.
“TAH Witness Protection Program.” That is a scream.
Well, WitLessOnan, I see Jonn took pity on you and let one of your comments through. Were you so frustrated at being moderated that you were about to p!ss your pants? Were you drooling on your keyboard? Were you so frustrated you soiled your “tidy-whiteys”?
I certainly hope so.
Now, you are hereby invited to go watch this video (warning, the video is definitely NSFW/prudes/clergy/children). IMO it’s eminently apropos for you. And after watching, you are cordially invited to execute the suggestion contained therein – all 82 times. Repeat watching (followed by execution) as necessary.
By the way: I’m flattered that you think I’m a retired GEN. It would indeed be nice if that were the case.
Unfortunately, I’m not. Back to square one on that count, amigo.
I meant to ask you, Hondo, if I should add some short jokes here? Or let that go? I’ve got a bankroll of stories to write, and I’m taking a brief break.
Are we gonna get an ‘Open Thread’?
There is a guy at the bar I work at who claims to be an Army Ranger and says a lot of the same stuff mentioned above. Its very obvious the guy is a patholigical liar and I have tried getting him exposed. He claims he has PTSD and always goes on “Secret Missions” I hope this ass hole gets exposed. I have put his facebook up a few times and want him exposed because I am tired of his shit.
Fuck yourself runnin’ dullass, I bet the Senior Chief wouldn’t even acknowledge your pathetic, useless existence.
Wow, we got one that was drafted back when an elementary school education wasn’t required.
My head hurts from trying to translate Witless’ mindless, incoherent ramblings into English.
Whutinthehell is a “wennie”?
Fuck off Dull-ass, you are about as sharp as a bowling ball and possess none of it’s intelligence. Go wallow in your own filth in that trailer of yours, you delusional feltcher. Better yet since you and Psul have recent experience doing the perp shuffle you can work on a manacled gay dance routine together at the nearest tranny bar, with the culminating act being you guys tongue-punching each other’s fart box.
Marine_7002
A “wennie” is a noise made by a equine, be it horse, mule, jackass, etc. Presumably from the oral end, but could be either entrance or exit orifice.
I think the intended word in comment 14 above was “weenies”. Spelling and grammar never were WitLessOnan’s strong points.
The same is true regarding WitLessOnan’s choice of words. The only people I’ve ever use “weenies” when they meant “pricks” or “putzes” were adolescent boys and/or young teenaged girls. Yet that’s the language WitLessOnan uses.
Perhaps that choice of words tells us something about this “fine inDUHvidual”. Or perhaps not.
Dolboyeb.
Looks like the Dickless Wonder made his presence known… you know, the sHoRtBuSrIdEr41 who like to spend special hideaway sessions with his friends in the local FL county lockup (Bubba, Julio and Tiny to be exact).
Bubba..? who the hell is .. Bubba…?
I thought a ‘wennie’ was a benign tumor of the lymph nodes or the thyroid, or something. Or maybe a benign inguinal tumor?
Well damn, it’s RaDiOTelePhONeOpERAtor, hey dullass, make you deal. Would you please go to your local community college and enroll in an English Comp 101 class. If you can pass this class with a 4.0 grade average, I’ll pay for it. How about it RaDiOTelePhONeOpERAtor.
I dont want to get sucked into Wittfenfields crap, but I have something on topic. Don’t Pathfinder and Lee 1/75 from this blog live in Vegas? They could visit this dude and educate him on his improprieties.
“Bubba..? who the hell is .. Bubba…?”
You probably wouldn’t know him if you see him because he is always behind you, ya booze-guzzling fecal wart.
Old Dog, isn’t that another way to say ‘hemorrhoid’?
@28
Hey, Dullass Buttgenfeld – “Bubba” is the guy who’s been giving you all those hot beef injections. Bend over, and smile, you ignorant, illiterate bedwetter.
@32, Old Sarge, you forgot about Thor and the rest of his cell block that he got pimped out to! Hey ShOrTbUsWiNdOwLiCkeR 41, did you SQUEEEAL for Bubba & Thor like they told you to?
Yeegads, who forgot to burn the shit pit? I see shortrange made it in the side door. Phonies are popping up all over the fricking map it seems. Had a dude in one the stores telling me some bullshit story and going on with this that and the other thing when out of the blue, an ACR trooper walks up, standing behind him in line, shaking his head and grinning like a mo fo. I let the cav trooper handle him, it was fricking priceless, too… By the time I left I was laughing hard and completely forgot about getting the dudes unit & name.
Hey, shortbus. Never mind, I can’t think of anything to say you haven’t already heard.
Hey, kids! Look, it’s Dull-ASS!
Yo, DullASS! How’s that attempt at getting your record expunged going? Now, while I grant you, while I was a bit disappointed to see that your latest encounter with da po-po ended up as a “nol pros” based on your completion of a Level 1 diversion program, whatever that may be, it still shows up, just like your 1985 FELONY charge of flying under the influence.
Ain’t Google a muthafucka, DullASS?
And as for this phony in the OP, fuck him sideways with a pineapple. Guy probably doesn’t know more than the first three words of the Ranger Creed. I know I don’t–but then again, I’m not a Ranger, nor have I ever claimed to be one.
Screen door repairman on a submarine, OTOH….
Poor Dallas, the monkeys are harder to catch these day, aren’t they?
And I’m sure that lurking in the bushes has become more difficult since your neighbor Mrs. Johnson put in all those roses at her house.
And worst of all, Home Depot cut off your supply of paint thinner after they caught you chugging a can of MEK!
Poor guy!
(I’m laughing my ass off right now, I can barely type…)
They make me tired, I try to feel pity for mentally embalanced people, but this is to much!
Dallas Wittgenfeld is proof that there isn’t a shortage of stolen valor cocksuckers that stick to their BS story….