Road to the Fecal Four: Sharkey v. Truitt
Who will be the first to make it to the Fecal Four?
5 Jonathan “The Cock Inhaler” Sharkey v.
3 Jason “Prison SEAL” Truitt
SHARKEY
Tale of the Stolen Valor Tape: Claims “The MOS’ Jonathon worked in while in the Army was – 13B (Field Artillery), 11C (Motars), 11B (Infantry), 11BX (Infantry Drill Segreant)18B (SF Weapons), 71D (Legal Clerk specialist), 79R (Recruiter). Jonathon is also Sniper Trained and Qualified. He still practices his Sniper skills to this day.”
Actual: National Guard PFC with an Army Service Ribbon and Sharpshooter Badge. (Which sucks for a sniper, hell, even I shot expert)
Intangibles: Looks like a cross between Ron Jeremy and Guy Fawlkes; has lost 7 elections for public office; fled Minnesota with emotionally damaged minor; threatened to impale me, chop off my head and perform satanic rite with entrails; moved to Russia.
As an aside, my reaction to his threat was as follows:
Love the threats, I mean seriously, it makes me chuckle. Okay tough guy, come on up to Indy, we can fight on the War Memorial Grounds. You bring your Secret Service friends, and I will bring my equally imagined companions: Smurfette, Nessie, one of the dwarfs from the Council of Elrond, an Amish porn star, several Minions from Despicable Me, and a couple of your girlfriends from the Niagra Falls area. You don’t think there is anyone that believes your horseshit do you?
I’m still waiting for him to show up.
TRUITT
Tale of the Stolen Valor Tape: Claims “It was a harrowing seven tours. He was shot 11 times. He was declared missing in action, twice a prisoner of war. Once he was MIA for two months and 14 days. He was tortured and disfigured. He was shot in the stomach, requiring several feet of his intestines to be removed. His tattooed skin is covered in scars. He has vision in only one eye.”
Actual: According to his father, Truitt served for about eight months as a “fueler” on an aircraft carrier, and never reached a battle area.
Intangibles: Drug addict who spent at least 9 months in prison; stole a trip that should have gone to one of our actual wounded brothers or sisters; managed to get a free rifle from the NRA (subsequently returned allegedly); as an ex-felon, wasn’t supposed to have any guns; from one of his hunting partners:
“Jason’s elk was wounded and thrashing around, suffering,” Whitnack said. He described how Truitt then went to the elk with a .45 semi-automatic pistol.
“He emptied the magazine into the elk’s head,” Whitnack said. “Just the craziness of expending seven rounds, fast as you can shoot them, into this downed elk.”
Batshit Crazy, Party of One, your table is now ready.
Forces of evil in a bozo nightmare, now go vote.
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Category: Politics
This is a tough one, having been on the receiving end of Sharkey’s threats. Then after a whole weekend of toxic emails, he wanted to go into business with me – a true sociopath. And then outing Truitt really launched the blog into the national discussion of Stolen Valor. So it’s hard to choose. Heads!
I’m going with Sharkey for the sheer lunacy. I love the minions from Despicable Me line! Classic.
COCK INHALER FTW!!!!
Thatisall!
You totally left out Sharkey’s stint as a AA professional wrestler!
With no more lying, coward whatthef*ck, I guess it’s the lunatic sharkey. Gotta admit his insanity is pretty compelling.
The Cock Inhaler….ALL THE WAY!!!
Sharkey. Always Sharkey.
Tough one no doubt. In the end I went with prison seal, because, honestly, look at Sharkey. I mean he looks and sounds basically harmless (not to mention the “I believe I shat myself” look on his face)unless you’re a fifteen year old girl with a vampire fetish. Truitt fooled some good people trying to help and deprived an actual wounded veteran of a hunting trip, and got a rifle out of it, which he shouldn’t have been in possession of anyways. (It’s so nice to see how gun control laws work-er-yeah, something like that.)
Sharkey looks like he could be a long lost relative of Dr. Arliss Loveless from “Wild Wild West”.
Went with the underdog, Truitt, simply because he scammed some good people with his BS. I hate that.
Guys, I hate to do this but I gotta disagree. There have been some pretty good posers who have scammed everyone from the USO to the American Legion and the VFW. Truitt is just run of the mill, pathetic, pounded in the a$$ (he probably liked it), ex-con, loser that come a dime a dozen.
Sharkey, on the other hand, is outta his ever lovin’ mind!!! He’ a mutant ninja turtle, vampire, pedophile, cannibal, scout/sniper, public candidate, in-bred retard, threat maker extraordinaire! C’mon, that’s gotta count for somethin’!?
You forgot he likes pulling fat teen goth chicks.
Voting Sharkey…he seems to believe his lies more.
@11 – “Sharkey, on the other hand, is outta his ever lovin’ mind!!! He’ a mutant ninja turtle, vampire, pedophile, cannibal, scout/sniper, public candidate, in-bred retard, threat maker extraordinaire! C’mon, that’s gotta count for somethin’!?” I think I love you! LMAO!!!!!
@ 11 Miss Nikki, I’m glad I could be of service! 🙂
Ooops! Should be @ 14!?
I gotta go with the molestache..
Voting Truitt – because other people believe his lies more. This has been a party political broadcast on behalf of the “Fucksticks Beat Fruitcakes” party.
Pure lunacy has always been a deciding factor for me. I have to go with Sharkey. He would gross out a starving and desperate hooker, gag a maggot and frighten a zombie elk.
The fact Sharkey likely believes his own lies puts Truitt as the worse d-bag. Sharkey needs professional mental help; Truitt needs a professional ass beating.
Sharkey in nuts and Truitt is piece of dogshit. Truitt all the way.
*Sharkey is nuts…
a couple of [his] girlfriends from the Niagra Falls area
Viagra Falls?
@20: I have to agree. Sharkey is more entertaining as far as laugh out loud crazy is concerned, but Truitt is the bigger douche.
Went with Truitt. He took a spot in a donated hunt that a worthy veteran could of enjoyed. He further scammed them by accepting the gun. I also hated how his father came out and tried to defend his sons actions.