Justice Ginsburg Regional – Round Two
Support Defenders of Freedom: Lost in the debacle that was the Tim Poe affair is the fact that he actually did serve honorably in Afghanistan, and really was injured there. The stories after that were his and only his. But Defenders of Freedom should not bear the fault for Poe expanding on his record, and they won’t again. This week I will be honoring DoF, starting off with a meager $10 to help their mission. DoF sends support boxes to our men and women in uniform, support wounded Soldiers with emergency financial assistance, supports the families of wounded Soldiers and support the USO at DFW Airport (which helped at least one blogger get married.) So, I hope you will join me and give them a few dollars. Don’t let the fakers define who we are.
JUSTICE GINSBURG REGIONAL
So, without further ado, here we go, which of these 8 will be the 4 to advance to the unSweet Sixteen?
16 Fatty McQuartermillion Pounder v.
9 Asleigh “Shrapnel slit my throat” Martel
POUNDER: Dude pulled an amazing upset last week when he took down the #1 seed Williamson. Word on the street is that he celebrated by eating his way through 4 Hostess trucks, and was still hungry so he ate the pineapple from between his Chevrons. He kind of looks like that chick from Mike and Molly but with a ridiculous Moustache.
MARTEL: I just watched the video about her again, and I have nothing nice to say. I would take umbrage with the VA saying there is no evidence of a head wound. Dude, just look at her.
12 Albert “Sensei Dick Munch” John v.
4 Dave “Tiger Hunter” Groves
JOHN: I swear this dude is my sleeper favorite guy of the whole tournament. “I’m a former US Army special operations soldier, a surgical technologist, internationally certified in sterile processing, hold black belts and/or high degrees in over half a dozen different martial arts to include but not limited to Ninjitsu, Jeet Kune Do, Muay Thai, Krav Maga and Lotar……” Yeah, well I’m a paladin with 18 charisma and 97 hit points I can use my helm of disintegration and do 1d4 damage as my half-elf mage wields his plus 5 holy avenger.
GROVES: This dude is closet funny too, I especially liked his story about…. “During one battle, Grove lost a friend to a Vietnamese arrow.” I once lost a close friend to a Columbian lawn dart. Shit came flying out of fricken nowhere. Also, stop stealing your made up stories from Apocalypse Now, seriously. You were never dangling from the bottom of a helicopter with a cheerleader unless you are VT Woody.
3 Paul “Prince Chumming” Tillson v.
11 Richard “Senator Dickenthal” Blumenthal
TILLSON: BOOBS! Yeah man, when you are feeling them, and they are just like a bag of sand…awesome. Just awesome. Can we all agree he doesn’t really deserve her, but does deserve the outkicking his coverage award for Stolen Valor nominees? I have nothing to add really to Tillson’s body of work (as it were), but I googled “an ode to boobs” and found this video of a lovely young lass proclaiming in song her love of the sweater kittens, airbags, cantaloupes, splazoingas, snowtires…
BLUMENTHAL: Just me, or does Blumenthal look like a cross between George Hamilton and Edward James Olmos? Like dude, are you a lawyer for the Corleone’s, or flying this damn ship to go take out Cylons? BTW, much like my feelings about Blumenthal, I did not like the Godfather, it insists upon itself.
7 Jasper Land “My moustache alone is SF qualified” Holland v.
15 Timothy “Durango + Delta = Douchebag” Oliver
HOLLAND: From a relative of his: “I could look over those wild claims about himself but when he started forging Civil War letters, creating false genealogical lines, making up sources, forging wills while trying to peddle his CD to unsuspecting Holland researchers, primarily elderly women etc etc, I had enough.” How many Holland researchers are there that this business model is a successful one? I made up a false genealogical line for myself that traces my ancestry to a conjugal visitation between Margaret Thatcher and Kubla Khan. It wasn’t easy, but I did it.
OLIVER: I thought he was a total ball of cowardly monkey spunk, but then his wife came to explain that he’s actually just blind and suffering from debilitating PTSD. She has a media law degree from Cortez Junior High School or somesuch, so I think we can trust her. In fact, maybe we should take this all down, since as she tells us: “I will happily use my media law degree to sue for defamation of character, harassment, and slander each the reporter and those people who have linked to this article and posted hatefully on his page. This is a legal statement.” Behold the power of cheese! (I have no idea why I added the cheese part, but I don’t have the heart to delete it. But for the life of me I can not figure out what angle I was going for.)
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Category: Politics
That picture of Ginsburg is straight out of Lord of the Rings. (Shivers) Eeeeuuughhh!
Dang. The buzz is off if Williams and Wittgenfeld are out. There must have been some voter suppression and disenfranchisement.
How about these two in a Wildcard?
That is a different bracket. I can assure you Wittgenfeld moves on, but I forget who Williams is.
Oh, you mean Williamson? Yeah, Fatty took him down pretty handily.
This is a hard round but Holland moves on I think. That mutache alone could win. I think it even has Chuck Norris scared.
Vote early vote often
Dick Bloomenthal deserves your vote. I would be willing to bet if he were aware there were a vote going on right now he would be here campaigning himself. Making speeches with friends standing behind him arms crossed in solidarity, so can we just give him what he wants? a solid vote for Dick Bloomenenthal! A vote for a seasoned politician!
I would also like to add, this bracket also has some sweet molestaches…keep the kids away from this group.
I think it’s over for Dick Blumenthal, I don’t think he can overcome the awesomeness that is Tillson.
My pick for sleeper is Oliver, because pony tails and phony guns are so cool. Not to mention, wives with media law degrees.
I just wish we could lock them each in cages so they could fight it out armed only with wiffle ball bats and cheese graters…two assist enter one asshat leaves for the title of ultimate looser and their lives. I guess that is why I am not in charge.
Doesn’t Jasper Holland reek of ass cheese and rohipnol?
Albert John has the turditity to make a move…
I especially had to go with the badass ‘staches because nothing says “Napalm-slurpin’-I’m-so-badass-I-rip-out-their-hearts-with-my-toes-and-hand-it-to-them-before-they-drop” like a big, cheesy, drooping ‘stache. As a matter of fact, half their body count is probably attributable to their ‘stache alone!
I know a lot of media-types read TAH. But in light of the Supreme Court’s can kick to the public, have you given any thought about publicizing this “competetion?” Maybe something like emails or press releases sent to various outlets. This is such a good follow-on to the Stolen Valor decision that some outlets might find this newsworthy, and really call attention beyond the military community to the extent that some of these frauds go. It also is just plain interesting to see these frauds in action and then taken down.
Anyway, I appreciate all the work it takes for you to prepare this thing. Just want to your work get the widest exposure possible as much as the frauds here want it to go away.
Sorry, had to go with Oliver based on the douchebaggery of having to have YOUR WIFE come in and do battle for you. Not you yourself, mind you–YOUR WIFE.
Now seriously, I get that HALO drops into the Bagram Baskin Robbins is serious shit, (just ask Methis) but having to have your significant other come defend you?
Stop. Hurts. Sides. Laughing.
I think Oliver is gonna take this regional, that toy gun with the orange tip combined with his pony tail and ripped jeans from high school just SCREAM “vote for me”
I held fast to my SV Unified Theory – fat guys and boobs, every time.
I wonder how long t took Oliver to grow his hair? Maybe he started it while in SFOD.
Fucking turd.
Did anyone ever find out who Fatty McQuartermillion Pounder really is? Most of these posers are eventually ID’d and I don’t think I’ve seen anything on this fat fuck.
Getting your woman to completely buy in to your level of lunacy is an awesome power indeed, Oliver and Tillson are apparently capable of the Jedi Mind Trick in getting women to marry and accept their fabricated life stories….
Tillson’s woman even has the nice bosom to go with her willing acceptance of a boatload of lies….and Oliver’s woman will strip you of your legal rights if you don’t stop picking on her fella…the guy who dove out of a plane with thousands of Delta operatives….
Tillson and Oliver are sort of a dynamic duo of mind control over females…well certain females anyway…
Oh man, the choices are tougher with each round. There are so many deserving “winners” in this bracket.
I like Oliver to win this one. Sure, he’s up against a mustache that even Jungle from AFT would respect, but there is serious d’baggery in Oliver’s story.
a conjugal visitation between Margaret Thatcher and Kubla Khan.
So at last we learn the ending of Samuel Taylor Coleridge’s interrupted opium dream.
@20, I want to make sweet love to that reference.
four by fifty living men and I heard no sigh nor groan…..
Gotta love AJ’s woodland sew-on to the ACU’s…
Give him credit. At least it provides some sort of concealment from the deer in the cornfield…
Nice water gun, too…..
Dammit I missed this one >:(