Stuck like Chuck an MP.

I was disabused today of my previously held belief that QRF was some sort of latin for “Quiet and Relaxation Farce.” Astonishingly, they actually believe in this unit that it is the “when things go to shit, who ya gonna call” force. Which really put a pretty sizeable dent in my plans today, which involved a shower, the barely edible chow, and copious amounts of local videos which are sort of an Afghan version of Mystery Science Theater 3k with local heads bobbing on screen. The selection today was “The Last Boy Scout” followed by “Seabiscuit” and then rounding out the Bruce Willis sandwich with “Mercury Rising.” I did sleep in (to 6AM), ate my Lucky Charms and stopped in the TOC before my plan went the way of mythical beasts like the DoDo, T-Rex and straight guys who watch “The Voice.”

The first call of the day was allegedly some sort of IED threat. Essentially it was me running to get my stuff, running to the motor pool, and then some frantic prayers that the Doc would show up with the paddles. (Clear!) No cardiac or SP ensued, as we got waved off. As I was walking dejectedly back to the TOC though, I met the Air Force EOD guys, who like EVERY other person I ever met in the Air Force were clearly pleased with their lot in life, ready to share a smile and an explanation of what they do, and show off their digs.

[As an aside, if there is anyone who reads our dopey blog who is considering military service, hear me loud and clear: Dude, for the love of Spongebob’s ghost, join the Air Force. If you are a dude who wants to be a Marine or Army SF or some crazy bad people ventillation technician, you still go AF, and tell them you want to be a JTAC. Seriously. The grooming standards are lower (“I didn’t feel like shaving this month” is a justifiable excuse in the AF) the scenery is a hell of a lot more scenic (*wink* *wink*) and the level of ability to bring terrorists to room temperature is the same. /end aside.]

These particular EOD guys had a robot, which no matter how you cut it makes them exponentially cooler than you. And out came Wall-E or iRobot or whatever it was. Thing is kind of heavy, and it is like an 11C humping the baseplate up a mountain, but when you get to the top, and look back on what you just climbed, you can feel pride in knowing YOU JUST CLIMBED UP A MOUNTAIN WITH A ROBOT. [Yes, CAPS LOCK, dude, it is a fricken Robot.] This thing operates off an XBox controller, because the only thing that ranks up with a robot, is playing X-Box.

So, I sat in the motor pool and ran this heavy little beast into folks because I’m just not that good at these things. Plus, them have these specially made sunglasses that make you look like the unholy cross breed of Tom Cruise in Top Gun and a Borg. You have this little video camera that shows you what Wall-E sees. Frankly it was easier to not watch through the video, but if you got used to it, it might not be so disorienting.

Then this afternoon the TOC started getting busy. Let’s just say it was interesting to see, but rife with some stress to say the least. The end result of the excitement was virtually nothing, but it was tense. Then came word, call up the QRF, MPs got not one but two vehicles stuck. So out we roll.

First one was pretty easy. I’m fairly certain they could have gotten it out with a little work, but it wasn’t far away, so why risk it. The second one though, hoofah. I honestly have no idea how this thing got stuck where it did. It was the middle of a village, with side roads literally 20m ahead and about 20m behind, but the driver inexplicably decided to do a 400 point turn (neccessitated by the width of the road) and didn’t quite make it.

As we were eyeballing the disaster, the ANA rolled up. Now, yesterday I talked about the one side of the ANA, the part where safety concerns are at the opposite end of the spectrum from the US Army (“wear your PT belt and Eye Pro at all times”) mentality. Today I got to see them at their best. Their 1SG rolled up, got out, and took charge immediately. He barely glanced at the vehicle stuck (which I was keying on as it was the obvious excitement) and immediately deployed his guys efficiently and with evident strong leadership. He was pointing out sectors for his men, directing his vehicles and communicating with the locals with a modicum of holering and hand movements. The locals took him seriously, and his men moreso. If there is a future for this country, that dude will be the one that future generations can thank.

And he wasn’t alone. Other ANA guys came through, and hollered to various US troops that they knew from previous (mis) adventures. That in itself wasn’t surprising, but the US Troops were clearly excited in turn to see these guys. I talked to several of them afterwords as they met their various counterparts, and every one of them told me something along the lines of “That dude is awesome, he’s a great leader.” This went well with what I had heard from a buddy back at KAF. Despite what we hear in the states about Green on Blue, these ANA are making marked improvement. It’s a race now. Can we bring up the substandard ones to bring the fulcrum to a point where the weight of history will be on the side of discipline and prosperity for the country.

Nonetheless, after several hours we got the vehicle out. But what I saw on scene in that time was great. One guy in particular that I noticed was a PFC. Young kid, fairly new to the country, and we owe him everything if this works, because dude does the right thing without even apparently noting it. The local kids had come out in droves. I mean, probably 100-200 of them all told filtered through. And being around the vehicle that was immobilized was obviously not something anyone needed. This PFC that we’ve spent thousands of hours and dollars training to bring destruction to the enemy was out there ACTUALLY winning hearts and minds. He was in the middle of the kids, smiling, learning their language, answering questions, making them giggle and so on.

I was reminded of a old German man who once came to an event we had. He had been 7 when Germany was in it’s second World War, and surrounded by utter destruction when one day he saw US Troops approaching down a road. He’d never seen one, and was justifiably worried what this would mean for his family. One GI smiled at him, approached him and knelt down. He gave that kid a stick of gum, tried to speak German with him, and basically just devoted attention to him. That kid decided then that one day he too would be an American, all because one tired Joe took the time to make him feel important.

As I watched that PFC do that today, I quietly talked to my Medic buddy. “Yeah, he’s like that. He just walks up and gets them talking.” I can’t help but wonder if somewhere in this tiny village was a kid who was distracted from a stuck vehicle by a smiling young 20 year old who really was interested in engaging the children. Will that kid come to America, or will he one day be a leader of men here in this country? Either would be fine with me.

Tags: TSO Embedded in A'stan

Category: TSO Embedded in A'stan