The seeding committee has completed it’s work….
Some surprises in here, but I won’t second-guess some of the seeds. (Mainly because I did them at like midnight)
Anyway, the plan is to have the first round games from each of the Regionals on Tuesday-Friday. So, Tuesday you will have the 4 games from the Flag Officer Regional,Wednesday is the Seek Help Regional, Thursday will be the Special Ops Regional, and then Friday we close out the brackets with the first round of the NCO Regional.
Next week we will do the Sour Sixteen, the following week the Non-Elite Eight, then the Flagrant Four. You will be able to vote for each game, and the winner will advance to the next round.
This post will be bumped and expanded on Monday. In the meantime, I don’t care how anyone votes, so long as we get lots of votes! So anyway, amongst yourselves, debate what criteria one would use.
Also, I understand that this will sweep the country, and I will likely be on ESPN by like Tuesday. I get it. Just no high-stakes betting. Sure, you can print out the brackets and distribute for $1 and such, but please limit all wagers to under $10k.
Category: Politics
I can’t wait for the Natty!!! A couple of the matchups are some real nail-biters! Seems like it’s got everything: the potential for season-changing upsets, mad skillsets, and plenty of nacho cheez.
I think the Wolf/Hamilton is a good matchup right out of the gate. I like the offensiveness of both of them. You’ve got a lesbian pirate against a guy with more bling than Mr. T. Just a great show that one should provide.
TSO–agreed on the Wolf/Hamilton showdown. My money’s on the lesbian, mostly because I like (non-somalian) pirates. But she likely suffers from lack of depth perception which could open an alley for Hamilton. I’m also particuarly looking forward to the Lake/Sherpansky duel. That’s a powerful matchup!
Looks like my guy, Oliver Wide load Karl will go down with the first round, Can’t top the Soup Sammich, even though Ollie is my pick, (did I say that I had a real fetish about heavy drops in Airborne?). I gotta go with the blues on desert boots thing.
TSO:
Are you going to take the standard 6%”pot rake” on our wagers?
I think the Pirate Wolf Lesbos can take Grandpa Bling.
Sorry guys,my money is on Jeff “THE ROCK” Harris,he’s killed more bad guys than all these other jack wagons and has been awarded more medals than all of them combined…if you don’t believe me, just ask him your own self,seriously…
Wow Jonn Thanks!
I go TDY for a week, come back and have to work an Air Show all day, come home hoping for a relaxing evening and Sunday of football…..and I get THIS!
I thought choosing my March Madness bracket was tough. Trying to develop a formula where I can evaluate the levels moronic actions, ridiculousness of claims, and sheer stupidity is going to have me pulling my hair out until Monday.
This is hilarious. But i think you should have a “people’s / viewers choice award” so we can vote also.
No contest Ballduster versus Soup sandwich in the final
#10: Are you kidding Mattthis vs Soup Sandwich!
Hey FO you know got some Ranger Buddies. How about you get a gaggle of them together so we can round up the contestants and thunderdome these Biotches. Two “men” enter one leaves.
hey you know I was thinking since they’re all drama queens (or princesses as the case may be) we should judge this like a Miss America pageant.
How about everyone commits to 10 bucks on their favorite, or 5 for a flagrant four pick, and the proceeds go to Wounder Warrior, with bragging rights to the winner?
I have to say the final match up for the NCO whackos will be between Soup Sammich and his retarded cousin, Steve SNAKE EYES Jordan. Both have amazing records, both are hardcore to the max, just look at Soup Sammich s stack of medals and tell me that alone wont get him far in the bracket…
However, his cousin has a powerful counter punch by smacking in on the damn pictures/career gallery. Jordan has done it all, from starring in GI Joe to being a cop. Whats not to love?
And kudos on choosing a March Madness Bracket…this one by far takes the cake.
@13 not a bad idea Dave, but I kinda want to see how much we can make this snowball, I’ll toss in a line to all my buddies at the V(FW) here in Motown see if folks are down with an SV bracket and the hilarity to ensue.
Maybe this should have an official page?
My money is on “Willy the Pimp” AKA Williams. He is a regular feature at the People of Wal-Mart. I would also like to add, before I read the name I thought that Mathis was some lesbian activist. He does look the part doesn’t he? I think that Sen. Dick Blumenthal deserves a dishonorable mention for our misunderstanding of his many statements about his time in viet…I mean in the Marine reserves.
Soup Sammich is unbeatable. The other clowns aim to decieve people who don’t know better. Sammich took his game to a goddamned base, for a goddamned boot camp graduation ceremony, where uniform regs are still fresh in everyone’s head. And that was just his first at-bat. Game, set and muthafuckin’ match. Also, let us not forget that it was some kid who was banging his mom that was graduating boot, and Sammich’s aim was to intimidate his step-father’s DI. Legendary. No other word can come close to describing the phenominon that is MSGT Soup Sandwich. Unless there’s a major upset by the pirate dike or Methis, or points are deducted for being insane (which won’t happen unless the refs are in the bag), Sammich coasts to victory.
THE MORNING LINE
Master Sergeant Soup Sandwich… 4-5
Ballduster McSoulPatch… 7-5
Matthis Chiroux… Even
Cobb Public Safety Director Mickey Lloyd… 3-1
Snake Eyes Jordan… 4-1
Pirate Warryck Wolf… 9-2
Sealey McChippendales… 5-1
John Kerwin Williams… 6-1
Oliver WideLoad Karl… 10-1
Kyle Barwan…11-1
The remaining nominees comprise the field…15-1.
Has anyone called up ESPN and had them go over to the White House to show Obama filling out his brackets? If he does a well here as he did on his March Madness picks we won’t have to hear from him again past the first round.
Awesome! I haven’t laughed so hard in a long time! The flagrant nuts are easy to laugh at and get pissed…but it’s the devious phonies (Mickey Lloyd) that truly piss me off. Air Cav’s ML is spot on! This is just too good!
I hope to get this to all my FB friends.
WE need a special trophy with a kewl name too.
I agree with Teddy996. MSGT Soupsandwich had the balls to try and pull his stunt off at a basic training graduation parade/ceremony. Total balls there to even think he would not get pinched? He went in full retard, and as such should be in first place. Wonder if they will be using him as the poster child for annual base defense refresher training when it comes to dealing with clowns like this?
I think Soup’s going to take the crown. The sheer chutzpah to play dress up and walk into the lions den. Plus, everyone knows that brown shoes with a blue suit can be a horrible fashion faux pas.
Dano and CI have good points about ol’ Soupy, but I think “Heavy Drop” might surprise this time.
Sure, Soup took his game right on base, but Heavy has consistency. I mean, trying to direct disaster relief and THEN, after getting busted on that and doing five years for it, taking it to the Russians too! Now that, my friends, is dumbassery at it’s finest.
Plus, Heavy is about the size of an M1 Abrams so I’m betting just by the fact that he has his own gravitational field that will give him some extra weight in this, so to speak.
The SpecOps bracket is incomplete without the exploits of David Oh, who by the way, is still at it with stunning imbecility:
DAVID OH is dancing a political two-step when it comes to our reporting on his misleading claims to have been a Green Beret.
The Republican City Council at-large candidate published two full-page ads in the Daily News apologizing for “any confusion or misimpression” he created with those claims in his campaigns.
But then Oh’s attorney sent the Daily News a letter demanding an apology and retraction of the column that revealed the details of Oh’s military service.
Oh’s attorney curiously injects race into his letter, writing: “For your information, Mr. Oh is an Asian American Republican running for office in the upcoming election, in a city with a rapidly growing Asian American population.”
http://articles.philly.com/2011-09-23/news/30194328_1_attorney-claims-apology-daily-news
@24- Heavy Drop is a finesse player. He’s all show and no go. He’ll beat CHUD in the first round, but you’ve gotta have more than fancy moves against Sammich’s up the gut ground game. Especially if your gut is as big as Clark’s. I’d put money on Ballduster, Wolf, Matthis, or Strandlof against Sammich in the finals. You need to have noteriety on a national level, or be able to tap into people’s love for pirates, lesbians, and amazing photoshop skillz to compete against Sammich’s insanity in the big dance.
@25- Gina, holy crap that guy got ripped off. Maybe we can convince them to allow an Oh/Blumenthal scrimmage during this year’s tourney as a consolation? You know, a friendly game that pits the eager up-and-comer against an old-guard fraud, to showcase Oh’s skills. Hopefully, if he does well, he’ll break into the bigs next year.
@ Teddy
LMAO just LMAO!
1969. The Big Bad Colts were a lock against the upstart Jets in SB III. The pride of the NFL against the punks with the mouth. Jets 16 Colts 7.
1980. The ‘professional’ hockey team from the USSR vesrus our college boys. No way the kids win. USA 4 USSR 3.
One of the greatest race horse of all time was Man o’ War. He won 20 of 21 races in the years following WW I. The name of the horse that beat him? Upset!
Sure Master Sergeant Soup Sandwich looks like a lock. Sure he’s the morning line favorite; he may even be the sentimental favorite (How could anyone be THAT stupid!) but it ain’t over til it’s over.
You know I think Soup is in the wrong bracket. He’s clearly in the “seek help now” category. Yes he was wearing senior NCO rank, but he also threw ever award he could imagine on there, then was stupid enough to try to walk on base. If that doesn’t scream that this guy needs help I don’t know what does. He’s going to sail through the NCO bracket (with a tough battle with Snake eyes) but he’s too bat shit crazy.
I think Matthis is going to be an early favorite in his bracket, he’s certainly vile enough, but will face stiff competition from Williams or king.
In the Spec ops it’ll be tough to call because you have a REAL CSM who was stupid enough to try to pass off fake awards and tabs. That kind of idiocy will start him off strong. I see a tough fight between magrew and Chipendale. Both are favored by the SEAL community with requirement for class I ass whooping.
I think in the Flag officer bracket Ballduster will sail, but have a tough fight with Wolf (lesbian pirate) and Whalen.
Just virtuous TSO how are you grading this? I actually mentioned this bracket to an ESPN reporter when College Gameday was here at Dub V. I think she thought I was joking. STILL all joking aside what does the shitbag of the year get (aside from federal prison time *hopefully*)? I think it would be great if we could get this recognized. Maybe Claymore should post it in the DU, or ask Rush Limbaugh who he’d pick? Ha ha that would go over well
Matthis for flagrant four!
@29- Doc, you’re right. The culinary MSGT certainly could be in the Seek Help. Hell, he’s got that special blend of stupidity and insanity that deserves a bracket all it’s own. I think what happened was the SH field was overpopulated, and the NCO needed one. NCO has stout competition- putting Soup in there is ok by me. I think the one to watch in the NCO will be Jordan, though. I have him squeaking by the gunny in the 2nd round. His photoshop skills and strange fetishes have a “seek help” flavor, and could serve him well against the Sammich in the NCO final.
The SpecOps bracket is the dark horse. It’s like Big East basketball. Fierce competition amongst themselves, but their physical style leads to questionable performances against other conferences in the big dance. The tourney’s outcome could hinge on how much the ref allows.
@31 You know Teddy, I think the Flag officer will be pretty interesting. Aside from the Lesbian Pirate, Hamilton and Ballduster, a few minor players in there that might come out strong. Certainly there will be a lot of Photoshop hits early on, but the real staying power may be in recognition, and yes even prison time.
I agree the Secret Squirels are a tough bracket to call. They are very secretive, and though they talk a big game they don’t have the ribbons to back it up (like sam’ich). I think it may come down to the ever classic CAG Vs DEVGRU, but since most of those fucksticks MAY not know what the hell those are, there might be some initial confusion off the starting gate (scoring against themselves).
I think that it’s pretty clear it’s going to come down to Seek Help and NCO brackets. but you never know. there’s always the dark horse. More than a few on this list have claimed MOH nominations (or been awarded).
Side note: whatever happened to that guy that pretended to be Patraus?
@32 I agree, Doc. Flag Officer is stacked.
Old two-rope Baillie is one of my personal faves. He’s got a tough 1st round draw against the cake-stealing Weber, though. It’s a special kind of douche that poses as a general and eats the first piece of birthday cake at the V’s Marine Corps birthday party. However, he apologized when he was called out, and that’s the chink in his armor. I think Two-rope is crafty enough to capitalize on that weakness, and get to the next round. I mean, he’s got 32 or so years of continuous combat experience according to his sleeve, and he sells books of his own made-up badassery as educational material.
I think newcomer Whalen is a sleeper, and will be a surprisingly tough match for the veteran Baxter. I’ve no idea who comes out on top in that one.
Barwan has a puncher’s chance against Ballduster, but only because he came onto the blog under various different names in a laughable attempt to defend himself. That’s endearing to the crowd, and could play heavily to his advantage if he can exploit it. But is that enough juice to trump Gen. Soulpatch’s amazing fundraiser appearance and subsequent lame excuse?
Wolf is a solid lock. Hamilton’s bling can’t overcome Wolf’s eyepatch, websites, photoshops, and fraud convictions. She skates to the regional finals.
S@&t,
I want to read about there awesomness but when i click the retards pic all i get is the bracket. How can i choose a winner on only their good looks. I want details of their cool exploits
I disagree with you teddy soulpatch will go the distance. He is a knight of the british empire spec ops flag officer and politicly connected as well as SAS. Someone call Obama. This guy could save his campaign
@34 Scotty- here is another TAH thread where they’re all linked.
http://valorguardians.com/blog/?p=26635
As much as I enjoyed all the comments, teddy996 you have a gift. Most of them should be included in the final overview. Any plans to recap each bracket for a post-tourney analysis?.