Today’s News 9/16/11
OK, so yesterday’s features didn’t get nearly the love I had hoped for. In fact, my Council of Elrond quip was like a Top 10 quote in the history of the internet. Now, no one beats a dead horse like me, and (of course) the dude that beat the horse in front of Neitsche that drive him nuts. So, these beatings will continue until morale improves up in this heartless den of crazy person-haters.
From the “I just came up with a new band name” file:
There also was talk of replacing the carpeting and Weiner’s office chair, the insider said.
But Turner, who attended a whirlwind of meetings all day, waved off questions about office decor and Weiner residue.
For those that didn’t know, I used to play the cowbell in the band “Tom Brady made me have an oopsie in my superman underoos.” We opened for 50 cent once.
Anyone have a clue what in the hell is going on in Arkansas?
Police have received two complaints in the past week about a man who seems desperate to suck women’s toes — whether they want him to or not.
Last Saturday, Ruth Harris, 83, told police she was sitting in a chair in front of her apartment when a man approached and said he liked her feet. According to a police report, the man took off one of her shoes and began sucking on her toe.
One freak is understandable, two is grounds to be tossed from these United States…
It is not the first time that Conway has dealt with this sort of complaint. In the 1990s, a man who was known as the “Toe Suck Fairy” kept Arkansans captivated with his foot fondling antics in Conway and Little Rock.
That assailant, Michael Robert Wyatt, pretended to be a podiatrist in order to fondle and suck a Conway woman’s toes at a clothing store. He received probation, a fine and court-ordered therapy but his probation was revoked after he was arrested in another town on similar charges.
You know who doesn’t suck toes? Chuck Testa:
And you know who could use the services of Chuck Testa, and the Ojai Valley Taxidermy? Robert Jeffrey Young and Mark Rubinson, that’s who.
In a real-life version of the movie “Weekend at Bernie’s,” two men drove around with a dead friend’s body, used his ATM card and visited a strip club, police said.
According to the Post, an affidavit accused Young and Rubinson of leaving Jarrett’s body in the car while they drank at a bar on his tab Aug. 27.
Investigators allege the men stopped at a restaurant, returned Jarrett’s body to his home, used Jarrett’s ATM card and withdrew $400 at a teller machine at Shotgun Willie’s strip club before reporting Jarrett’s death.
Whether you call them a restroom, loo, lavatory, toilet, or “the facilities,” they are always an important part of being on the go. With this in mind the members and editors of travel website VirtualTourist.com (www.virtualtourist.com) have compiled this list of the “World’s Top 10 Toilets.”
Among other places one might drop a duece is at Madonna’s:
Madonna Inn; San Luis Obispo, CA
It only makes sense that one of the world’s quirkiest hotels would have one of the world’s quirkiest restrooms; a waterfall urinal that comes to life when used. We can only imagine the surprise of the uninformed.
Kinda reminds me of the time I tried to drink from a bidet at a hotel in New Haven, CT. Honestly, their water tasted like shit.
Speaking of shit, this little guy better start consolidating his, because I need to mow the lawn today, and I usually do so barefoot wearing only a banana hammock and Carmen Miranda’s hat.
(Oh, and yes, that is my Boston Terrier “Fenway” although Jamie pointed out that the Sox suck, and I should rename him “The Ballpark at Arlington”.)
Category: Politics
I believe I have Intertube rights to the “from x file/desk/office” schtick on the weekly roundups.
I sure hope my check is in the mail.
Agreed, I do owe you royalties. And, as luck would have it, I may be out there later this month…
I’ll support a fellow North easterner! OMG TSO YOU ARE AMAZING RAWRAWRAWRAWR!Ever been to Boston Beerworks near Fenway? Dont sit in the booths, I laid more pipe there in my youth than all of the big dig.
You know John, I have been to probably 30x the number of Sox away games as home games. I lived too far west (Berkshire County) to make the drive, and when i got there, Tix would be too expensive anyway.
But, Bucket list is Monster Seats for a day game, and a night of heavy imbibing at McGreevey’s Third Base Saloon.
That sounds like a good night TSO.
What no link or acknowledgement for that awesome portrait of Fenny (aka The Ballpark at Arlington)!?!?!
A good end to the week. The Madonna Inn was the go to Honeymoon destination for high school brides and grooms of all of central Calif in the sixties and early seventies and is one gaudy joint.
Fenway – is that “Blue Steel” or “Magnum”?
To be clear… I wanna sit on Jonn’s deck with a Busch beer in my hand after I pass. Oh wait, you lot will likely use something fancy instead of my Busch so… Never mind.
So you didn’t appreciate the Saranac Octoberfest Beer you had last year on my deck, Zero?
The Madonna Inn
Oh crap, that takes me back. And unless it burned down in the last five years, its still there. My aunt and uncle live in Santa Maria (Orcutt! so they say) and laugh their asses off every time they get up to SLO.
As for me, meh. I’ll suffer through watching it on the big screen at Gary’s by the house. Beer’s cheaper, anyway.
Back when I was a SoCal it was National Sports Bar on State College (hear its something else now) or Hooters on Katella before the Angels game, and Danny K’s afterwards. Game? There’s a game on the field?
Don’t feel bad, TSO. I LIKED the Council of Elrond reference. Since I couldn’t think of anything better, I didn’t try.
Jonn #12: Er, um… In truth no. Enjoyed the company and the location, but my beer tastes are pedestrian at best. Seems my carcass would have similar tastes?
Since you ain’t drinking whatta you care? All you’d need do is hose off the drippings?
Jamie, you are pretty awesome, but please, LAY OFF THE SOX! We all know its the Yankees and every team from Pittsburgh that suck!!!
I am sure Jamie wasn’t speaking of my Red Sox. she was probably confused and meant the Chicago White Sox. Jamie would never do that to me.
You know I come out here to get a post to link to my story about finally eating at Roxy’s Grilled cheese….and this is what i find? …nattering nabobs of negativism…
Maggie- You had Roxy’s today? What kind was it?
Love those dudes man, been rooting for them since episode 1. Bunch of fahkin chowdah heads. Hate the Lime Truck guys.
All my Roxy talk has been on FB.
As a born and bred resident of San Luis Obispo CA for the last…and only… 50 years, I can tell you first hand that the Madonna Inn men’s (only the one downstairs, in the fantastic restaurant. Madonna Ranch steaks, mm-mmmmmmm!) bathroom is, indeed, world famous. As a matter of fact, it’s world famous title was made by Japanese and Korean tour bus companies, that made it a “must see” stop on their California tours. For other tourists, it’s quite odd to see a large group of Asians–men AND women–traipsing through the Inn for a waterfall pisser photo-op. It’s was just a silly quirk of the founder Alex Madonna, who thought it would be funny to have a standing urinal that cascaded down the rock wall, after stepping close enough to break the IR beam. Alex had a lot of these silly quirks, and adapted many to some of the rooms at the Inn. Not all the rooms are so themed, most are rather normal, expensively adorned sure, but normal. Being Swiss, he also wanted to bring a taste of the homeland to SLO-town, so most of the Inn is constructed of large to huge boulders quarried locally, and trimmed inside and out to fit the buildings and rooms. Alex also built the majority of HWY 101 that runs the coastal length of California. He was loved and hated here. The love was earned, but the hate was forever. Much of the new highway bypassed long established small towns that serviced the original HWY 101, and lived because of the constant sales of gas and groceries to drivers. Many of these towns literally died and went away, while others became virtual ghost towns with only die-hard residents remaining. The path of 101 Alex took through SLO was to clear roughly a 300′ wide path of houses, schools, and streets, since the original road was part of the heart of downtown (curiously, the new 101 happened to go right by a large ranch that, ironically enough, belonged to the Madonna family
) When he died a few years ago, the snotty… Read more »
Sorry Boston Mags, when they’re playing my Rangers they will always suck. Any other time I’m not a hater. Those Yankers on the other hand…
“is that a bear in my bed?” Nope and then she smiles and laughs as if a live bear were bad bud a strange guy hauling a stuffed bear into her house, putting it in bed with her and hiding behind it was just peachy keen.
what a bizarre commercial but highly entertaining
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