Lighten up Francis….

I don’t know whether to laugh, or blast this asshat. But since he is essentially attacking one of my best friends, a man who will be in my wedding, I wanted to say something.

Let’s start with this….I don’t know who Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard is, I don’t care who Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard is. No one has ever pointed me to his blog. I don’t know what kind of traffic he has, I only know he apparently writes about the Navy from the rather creepy picture he has of himself on an aircraft carrier. (He likes “creepy” so I am going to use it in a creepy fashion to address the infinitely creepy Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard.)

Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard begins this anal fissure of a post with an indictment of military blogs who apparently enticed an insane dude to shoot at police in Arkansas.

This weekend, as the nation mourns the loss of two dedicated law enforcement officers–shot at the hands of anti-government extremists (one suspect served in the  Army Reserves), I want to take a minute to address certain milblogs and anti-government rhetoric.

We milbloggers have a responsibility to be good stewards of civic behavior.  Anti-government rhetoric, “wink-wink” anti-government incitement and calls for violence must not find a place in America’s milblog community.

We milbloggers have a responsibility to be good stewards of civic behavior? What exactly do you mean by that Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard? How in the Holy name of Spongebob did we get assigned the role of being stewards of civic behavior? And where can I go to get my job description changed? See, without a PHD (from Harvard!) I am unable to divine without the help of my betters wherein I signed up to be the sole shepherd for the body politic of people in the civic square. In point of fact, I must have skipped that class, and someone forgot to share the notes.

Not content to merely lay the shooting at the feet of milbloggers (in our assumed role as good stewards of civic behavior), Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard then goes after my friend Matt. First with the hallmark vituperative, erudite, creepy (Yes! Worked it in again) and profligate panache which is formed in the crucible of Harvard PHD’s, Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard, assails a post by Crush from Blackfive. You can go read it for yourself, but in a manner only capable from an esteemed PHD from Harvard, Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard, provides an exhaustive synopsis worthy of Cliff (either of Cliff’s notes or the Klaven variety): “Creepy, huh? Not only is the post factually wrong, it’s a thinly-veiled call for violence.”

It’s times like this where I wish I had a trademark on the word “Creepy” but alas, my father bequeathed to me only one for the question mark.

Now, mind you that I read Crush’s post, couldn’t figure out what in the hell he was talking about, and immediately hit the back button. But, that is because I am merely a JD, George Mason University, it takes a Harvard PHD, someone of inestimable value and worth like Craig Hooper (the totally non-creepy PHD from Harvard) to turn it into a Ludlum novel worthy of such luminaries (but alas, not PHD’s from Harvard) as the SPLC, Robert Ludlum himself, Gordon Duff, Gordon Lightfoot, Gordon Gecko, the gecko from Geico, the Caveman from Geico, that caveman in the Pauly Shore movie and everyone who ever visited the shores of Tripoli, be they Marines or no.

But, enough of such intellectual minutea, back to our fisking of our friend Matt:

Being concerned, I wrote the publisher/founder of the site, Matt Burden, and expressed my feelings about the post. What I got back was not something I’d have expected from a patriotic American. Matt, for those who don’t know, is a former vet. He ran for elected office. He visited the White House. He serves on the Warrior Legacy Foundation. He is a trustee of Soldiers’ Angels and is a member of Team Rubicon’s Board. Matt even claims he “is currently consulting with the Obama administration on behalf of military and veterans affairs.”

In short, Matt is a guy who makes a good living by dressing up in the U.S. Flag.

Were I a less noble man, one who didn’t have the great honor of having read this intellectual bit of diamond in the roughage that is the intertubes, I might invite Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard to ponder best how one might fornicate with onesself. But alas, when addressing one such as he, a hallowed, venerable and (dare I say it?) almost Demigod among us flotsam of the milblog community, one must intellectually genuflect at the altar of Harvard PHDs. So, instead I will confine my comments to an unsuitable defense (for not all of us are equipped intellectually to be PHDs from Harvard) for my man Matt. (Woe that my synapsis fire at such a retarded rate as the hallowed PHDs of harvard.)

“Makes a good living” implies that Matt is somehow enriching himself at a rate that puts his lifestyle somewhere beyond the dreams of avarice (what movie?) and into the affluent ranks of such as Bill Gates, Warren Buffett, Jk Rowling, and the aforementioned salamander of unknown (New Zealand?) origin who shills for the insurance company. Matt ran for office, and got beat like a drum at the Mummers Parade (for a job that pays jack shit a meager pittance); and WLF, SA and TR are small non-profits. I don’t know if Matt gets any money for any of them, but what I do know is if he does, that recompense wouldn’t come remotely close to bringing him up to even on what he pays to do his philanthropic work. But, I’m guessing that Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard, has no clue what he makes either. Here’s an idea which I’m sure, as a PHD from Harvard, Craig Hooper already has done but not shared, how about showing us the tax returns for those organizations and tell us what he gets paid.

Let us strive to be precise Craig Hooper, PHD Harvard: are we not the stewards of the civic behavior, and would this not fall under that? I would not stand for any cretin, Croation, crouton, catamite, Callipygian or other falsely accusing Craig Hooper (who I believe has his PHD from Harvard) of not having done his due diligence on behest of the body politic which he himself has donned the mantal of stewardship.

The assertion that Matt has become wealthy by dressing himself in the US Flag is noxious, perhaps noscible, a nidifice of nequient nerterology, certainly novaturient, but alas, also nepheliad. (That former section brought to you by dead words of the English language.) So, in the interests of protecting the hallowed name of Craig Hooper, indeed, in protecting the hallowed name of Harvard PHDs everywhere, I call on you, Craig Hooper (who, as memory serves has a PHD from Harvard) to precisely lay out your argument in a fashion which us mortals, creepy beings of our lower existence, the sheep to your shepherding, the vegetarian stew to your stewardship might more easily understand.

Failing that, how about putting up or shutting up?

TSO
Public School Degenerate.

Some other kernals of corn from the shit soup that is this post of our esteemed PHD from Harvard should have been included, but I lack the wit to properly defend, since alas, I am merely the spawn of public schools and the infantry:

* Please join me in calling out those milbloggers who traffic in anti-American rhetoric
* And now, two law enforcement officers are dead. Egged on by the violent anti-government rhetoric sites like Blackfive spew every single day. Blackfive’s anti-government rhetoric speaks for itself.
* I’m worried that guys who find community and strength in Blackfive.net’s stock-and-trade of anti-government rhetoric will act upon what they read…
* If we–the responsible people–don’t do anything now, how will we feel when a vet in government service (or one of us, even) is killed by a vet who consumed too much of the stuff blackfive.net produces? Intervene. Join me.

As far as I am concerned, Craig Hooper, PHD from Harvard should go eat a heaping bag of steamed dicks take a Xanax.

Category: Politics